In Fear of Life

Matt

A loud slam wakes me up from a deep sleep. I look down, and Adam isn't there. Sitting up, the room is dark except for a figure sitting on the other end of the couch. "A-Adam?" I ask.

"Oh, no. Uh..Adam went to find R-Rayy..They've been gone for awhile.." I stare until I realize it's just Jake.

"Oh," I sigh. "Wait, isn't it still snowing?" I get up and look out the window. It's a blizzard outside. Turning towards Jake, I ask, "Why did Rayy leave?"

A light flickers on, Lisbeth is awake. "What's going on?"

I look again at Jake, who looks distressed. "That's what I'd like to know." I say.

Clearing his throat, he doesn't look at his ex girlfriend. "Well..I mean..Rayy..and I were, uhm. Talking..and he got mad, and left. I guess Adam woke up, and went to look for him.."

I understood, and didn't make it any harder for him. "Okay, well..How long have they been gone?"

Jake looks at the clock. "Oh, uh..Well, I'm just guessing, but, maybe 30, 35 minutes?"

I gasp and look for my shoes. "Where are you going?" Lisbeth asks.

"I've got to find him. Both of them. I.." My anger sets off. "I can't believe you would just let them fucking go like that, Jakob!" He stands up with a mad face, but I don't let him say anything.

"You're such a PATHETIC LOSER. You find out you have a son, a brother, and then a guy who's in love with you?! You just can't go five seconds without FUCKING EVERYTHING UP, CAN YOU?!" I scream at him.

He looks just as surprised as I feel. Grabbing my jacket, I slip it on. Lisbeth steps forward. "Do you have a rope, or something strong and long you can hold onto, maybe?" I nod, and go grab a rope from under the sink. Not sure why it's there, but it is, and I don't ponder it much.

Lisbeth ties it across my forearm and makes me hold onto it. "I'll hold this end, and you boys will make it back okay. Please..find them." I'm startled by her look of complete protectiveness, but I don't ponder it much, either.

The first thing I register outside is how penetratingly cold it is. Then I notice that the car's headlights are on. I circle around and find that no one is in it. Maybe Adam left it on, to see if he could find Rayy?

I decided to check the neighbors yards, first, but searching in this blinding snow is harder than I thought. It's weird, walking right in front of your house and not even being able to see it. I felt a tug on the rope and tried to hurry.

My face feels frozen, and I can barely open my eyes against the wind. Then he's there, on the ground. And he's got Rayy with him. I put my hand on Adam, but he screams and looks up at me, terrified.

My heart just about breaks as I yell, "We have to get out of here, come on!" But I can barley even hear myself. Adam pulls on Rayy, but he doesn't move. A large lump feels stuck in my throat at his lifeless face. I grab a hold of him, and Adam grabs onto my other arm.

I feel horrible, I want to completely hold onto Adam, help him. But I know right now that Rayy is far worse, and once we reach the door, Jake is pulling us in, freaking out.

I lay Rayy down on the couch and feel his pulse. "Slow, we need to get him warm. Take off his clothes and I'll put these blankets on him." After that's done I notice he looks a little better, but he's still unconscious.

I hear a thump and turn to see Adam on the floor, trying to stand up. I grab and hold him in my arms. "Adam..oh fuck. Jake, come here. We need to get him warm, too. Adam, come on, Adam! ADAM!" Jake pulls me off of Adam, who closed his eyes and looks dead.

Jake grabs me and slaps my face. "You need to calm down. This is not helping him. Come on, now get his clothes off." I nod and we pull Adam into the bedroom, where Lisbeth is on the phone.

"What's going on?" I ask.

"Oh, I'm calling a taxi." I look up from where were trying to tug off Adam's jacket.

"Why? You guys can still..stay, you know?" I realize this sounds stupid, that we have no room anymore.

"We need to get home, anyways. Thank you. I hope.." She looks at Adam. "I hope your boyfriend is okay."

I nod, and watch as Lisbeth and Roarke leave. Jake growls at me,"Come on, we need him warm, you dumb ass."

I pull off his pants, and look at Jake. "Go help Rayy." He walks off, and closes the door.

Pulling off his boxers, I lay down next to him and pull up the covers. Adam whimpers and I pull him close. His face is still covered in ice particles, and I press my face to his, trying to warm him up. After awhile, I go to the living room, where Jake is whispering to an unconscious Rayy.

"I'm sorry..Oh, god, if this..if you had died..Rayy.." He leans forward and kisses Rayy's cheek. "I love you, too." I clear my throat and Jake looks up, startled. Embarrassment floods his cheeks.

"I..I'm sorry about earlier, Jake. I didn't really mean it..."

Jake shakes his head. "No, it's okay. I guess I needed that. Really, I've been such a dick lately. I..just want to make it up to him.." He looks down at Rayy, who a moment later opens his eyes. We stare, shocked.

"Mmm..what?" Rayy looks confused, then upset. "Oh my god..where's Adam? Where's-"

I interrupt what looks to be a full fledged freak out. "He's okay, he's sleeping." Rayy lets out a breath of relief before a look of confusion crosses his face.

"How did..what??"

I understand. "I found you guys. And uhm...by the way. You're naked." Rayy's face looks priceless as he pull the blanket up over his pale chest and jumps off the couch. I point to the room. "Clothes are that way." He nods and runs there.

A few minutes later he comes out wearing Adam's Mayday Parade sweater and my skinny jeans. He doesn't look at either of us. Jake starts to say something. "Rayy..I'm-" But Rayy shakes his head and sits down on the other end of the couch.

Pulling the covers up and over him, he ignores us both until the soft sound of his snoring is heard. I look at Jake. "Well, I guess..he's still mad at you?"

But he doesn't say anything. Pulling out a cigarette and lighting it, he puffs away. I decide to go sleep with Adam. NO, YOU PERVERTS. Actually sleep.

After awhile watching him sleep, watching him murmur random things that didn't make sense, I drift off. It seems like a moment has passed when suddenly I'm awake, and Adam is standing next to the bed. I jump up and grab him in a hug. "You just keep getting hurt, don't you?" I whisper into his ear.

Adam looks at me. "Who undressed me, though!?"

Giggling, I answer, "Well, Jake helped, but I wouldn't let him share body heat. Rayy's awake, but he won't talk to us for some reason."

Adam nods and gets dressed in his skinny jeans and my Iron Maiden shirt. "Shouldn't Lisbeth and Roarke be in bed?" He asks.

I answer sadly. "No, they went home. The snow cleared a bit and I called, they made it alright."

I follow him into the living room, where Jake is chain smoking and Rayy is watching Spongebob Squarepants. Wow. Those guys are polar opposites..Or are they? Rayy stands when he sees Adam and say, "I need to talk to you." Jake looks like he might cry, so when Adam and Rayy leave the room, I sit down next to him.

For a moment, no one says anything. Then Jake turns to me. "He won't talk to me, Matthew. I need to..talk to him. I.." Then suddenly, he bursts into tears. I'm confused, I've never seen him cry before. What do I do? I'm confused, but put an arm around him.

"Shh..it's okay. We'll get you guys to talk, I promise." Even as I said it, a plan starts to form. I don't know for sure how Rayy feels, but my brother loves him, so I will try to get them together.

Here comes Matt, the Match Maker!

I almost giggle, but Jake is still crying. A minute later, though, Adam comes back into the room with a puffy eyed Rayy. Jake stops crying immediately and turns his head, lighting another cigarette. Rayy looks down.

It's silent and awkward for a minute, but Adam fixes that. "Who's hungry?"

I laugh. "Adam, I didn't know you can cook!" He giggles and sits in my lap. "I can't. Rayy can."

We all look at him, who looks terrified. "M..Me?"

Adam nods. "Anyone who wants Rayy to cook, say AYE!"

I repeat after him. Jake looks unsure, and doesn't say anything. Adam jumps up and pulls me by the hands. "How about blueberry pancakes, huh, Rayy?"