In Fear of Life

After Matt left, the air seemed a little heavier. The sun and grass less..bright. Wow, I sounded like a lovesick school girl. Jane had gone back inside, but I stayed out.

The sun was setting, and as I watch it fade, it made me happy. I'm not so sure why, but I feel like right now, someone is watching the same sun and thinking, 'I wish he were here'.

I guess it brought back memories. See, last year..well.I guess you can say I fell in love with the wrong person. Yeah. I fell for the school bully. His name was Danny. And I really thought he could change his ways. I mean, alone with me he was so sweet. Amazing. I loved him.

That was until I walked in to his bedroom, planning to surprise him and found him fucking some man whore from our school. Not only that, but I later found out he was only using me for sex.

The sad thing is, I still kind of have a certain love for him. Beneath all the hate, my heart wishes he could just sweep me off my feet again. All over again. But it will never happen. I won't go back to that. Still, I wish..

No wishing for useless things, I thought. Standing up, I realized it was dark now. Once safe inside the house, I headed to my room, only to find it had been invaded by evil alienssss D:

Actually, it was only Jane. And she was messing with my cell phone. I gasped and tried to fight it from her, but the wench had it tight in her claws. I stopped for a minute to ask, "Come on, what are you even doing with my phone?"

Laughing, she pressed a few more buttons and tossed it back to me. "There." She said. "I asked for Matt's number before he left. I told him to text you. I programmed his number in your phone."

Oh my fucking god. This is so embarrassing. Looking into my contacts, i found him under 'Matthew<3'. Wow. Yeah, great. "How'd you know i like him, anyways?" She rolls her eyes, smirking.

"Dear, you're my brother. Besides, he was looking at your ass. You should call him." I raised an eyebrow and ushered her out of my room.

Flopping onto my bed, I stared at the name and hovered over buttons, considering everything, it wouldn't be weird for me to text him, right? What if he gave me a fake number though? Then he'd know I tried to call and laugh! Wait, Adam. If it's not his number he won't know. Right. I sighed and decided.

'Uhm, hi. So I was wondering.. -Adam'

After I hit send, a minute passed. Two. Three.
Oh no, I shouldn't have sent it. He probably thinks I'm a frea-

BZZZZZ.

'Yeah? :) - Matt'

Aww, shit. Okay. Wait, he smiled. That means he doesn't think I'm a freak, right? Who knows?

'Do you wanna, like..hang out sometime? -Adam'

There. It was out. Not 'out out'. Like, I didn't say, 'Wanna go on a date, fall madly in love, and live happier ever after?'

But still..

BZZZZZ.

'Sure, how about tomorrow? Sound cool? -Matt'

I grinned so hard I thought my face would crack.

'Yeah, how about the park, 2'oclock? -Adam'

BZZZZZ.

Almost immediately. I didn't think my smile could get any wider.

'Yeah, sounds great :) -Matt'

I put my phone on the bedside table and fell into a deep sleep, dreaming of Danny. Oh, how fucked up I am.