Billie Joe's Modern Girl

I was shocked. I had always wished they would get a divorce, but that was only in my dreams, never for real. I started doing the dishes and fixing Billie’s kids’ lunches. It was basic house work, which I was happy to do. I don’t know what was wrong with me, but instead of thinking about how it’s a perfect opportunity to get with him, I was actually just hoping he was going to be all right. Call me crazy.

Over the next few weeks, I started being almost like a mother to Joey and Jacob. They needed someone now more than ever to help them out. Billie was off either working on the divorce, or at a party, getting drunk. I understand the need to wallow in his sorrow, but his kids were getting the butt end of the deal. It was sad.

Sometimes I would forget that he was my idol and call him out on this. He’d come home while I was cleaning up after the boys had gone to bed and I would blow up. I didn’t see why he was so selfish. He sings about a world falling apart, about broken homes, yet he’s creating a broken home for his kids. He’s not there and that’s affecting his sons’ lives. Joey is starting to rebel and Jacob is starting to question whether or not he should be going to school.

There were times when I just wanted to give up, to quit, but I knew that I needed the job and that he would work out his problems somehow. I knew Billie wasn’t perfect, like how I wanted him to be, but that doesn’t mean that he can be a total dickhead and forget about his sons. That’s wrong.

I didn’t enjoy working for him as much as I thought. There were some bonuses that were awesome, but then again, every job has some kind of bonus. Like when Billie can’t pick up the phone, I answer it, and guess who’s on the other line? Bono.

I never really got to hang out with Billie though. I only spoke to him when he asked me about what I did, gave me orders, or if I was yelling at him about what a fuckup he is.

I actually didn’t expect it, though, on this one Friday, my day off, to be called by none other than Billie Joe himself. I was watching an episode of Monk, when my cell phone goes off. The ring tone is East Jesus Nowhere.

“Hello?” I ask.

“Hey, Julianne, it’s Billie. Look, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out with me. I know I’ve been a total jerk to you and my kids, so I wanted to make it up. I understand if you don’t want to hang out with me.”

“Um, what do you have in mind to do?”

“Uh, we could go to a movie. I know there’s that new Twilight movie out.”

“Oh, okay.”

I met him at the theatres, curious as to what I might find. He was standing outside, waiting for me, and wearing his normal attire. He was wearing black skinny jeans, a Ramones tshirt, a grey hat and black converse. When he saw me, he gave me a half smile.

“So, I already bought the tickets. The movie starts in ten minutes.”

We watched the movie and lets just say it was anything but uneventful. There were little remarks that Billie would make about the characters and it would cause an eruption of laughter from me. I think it was the funnest movie I’ve ever seen, just because of Billie.

After the movie, we went for some ice cream and hung around at the park. It was getting dark, so hardly anyone was out. We were talking about our past and how much we love music. It was fun not yelling at him for once.

Soon, it got really late, so we decided to call it a night. Billie walked me to my car.

“It was nice, not yelling at you, today.” Billie said.

“Yeah, you too.”

“We should hang out more. You’re less… menacing, when you’re having fun.”

“I can say the same for you. Well, goodnight Billie. See you tomorrow.”

“Who says you will?” Billie joked.

“Haha. You’re the one who tells me when.”

“Touché. Well, goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

I gave him a kiss on the cheek before getting into my car and going home.