I Used To Waste My Time Dreaming Of Being Alive, Now I Only Waste It Dreaming Of You

*In Patrick's Piont Of View*

"Ah, their he is. Well, everything's all set. Go ahead and lay down so I can get started."
Adalia said with a smile.

I cracked a nervous smile, and sat on the edge of the massage table, awkwardly. She seemed to feel my awkwardness, and smiled warmly.

"Patrick, I didn't realize that this would make you just a bit uncomfortable. If you'd like, we can get the intern massage therapist to massage you. Would that make things any less awkward for you? I can't have my star singer feeling awful, regardless who massages him."

I didn't realize it until she looked down at them, but my hands were shaking.

I looked up at her, and slowly nodded, hoping that she wouldn't take it personally.

Her small, warm smile transformed into a beautiful, full smile, complete with her set of wide green eyes that I adored. She was radiant by candle light. Her bright red hair had dimmed to a full burgandy color, and her eyes wern't as bright, but a subtle, rich forest green.

"Alright Patrick. I'll give Susan a call on the walkies, and she should be down in a few. If you'll excuse me for one minute?"

I nodded again, and watched her leave the small room.

That's when true fury took it's toll on my emotions.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!?!

This beautiful as hell woman was WILLING to put her hands on my bare back and give me a well needed massage, and I just fucking passed. NOT only that, but I couldn't keep my fucking hands from shaking more than a minute.

I groaned and kicked the massage table, immediatly regretting that I did.

"OW! FUCKING BITCH MOTHER!! When will I fucking learn?"
I angrily asked myself as I hopped around, avoiding floor contact on my wounded foot. I'm sure she's outside right now, thinking about how big of a dipshit I am.

Stupid, Stupid, Stupid.

Just when I thought I couldn't hate myself anymore than I already did, I found a way to surprize myself, a new low, for Patrick Stump. Joy.

"Phádraig?"

I looked up to see Adalia with a small smile on her face.

I nodded my head.

Her smile disapeared.
"Phádraig... is their something wrong with your foot? I heared you... erm... yell?"

"Um... yeah... My foot had a... cramp?"

She frowned.

"Susan said she's on her way over. I'll tell her to hurry. I didn't realize you were having foot cramps. Should anything happen, I'm just a page away, she shouldn't deny you use of her walkie, since you're our star. If you don't feel comfortable asking her, I can pull some strings to get you your own if you so choose. Whatever makes you feel the best, please don't hesitate to ask."

I've never been so happy that thoughts were private more than this moment right now. Why does she torture me? Haven't I been through enough? Her mere glance kills me. Can't she make this easier on me, and... I don't know, IGNORE ME?! Stop giving me all of this undeserved attention, and maybe... look a lot LESS stunningly, heartbreakingly beautiful.

Adalia laughed nervously. Fuck, I took too long to answer.

"You amaze me in ways more than you can imagine, Patrick Stump." She said shaking her head, and flashing her movie star smile.

I pulled my eyebrows together in confusion.

She laughed again, a sound to be treasured.

"You're always so deep in thought, it's like... a mystery what you're thinking at that moment, a mystery, even to you at times. It's... I don't know, awe worthy, you're just... It's an honor being able to work this close to such a musical mastermind."

If I could scream, I would. My cheeks burned at the rush of hot blood behind my skin, my eyes widened at the sudden rush of compliments, and my head spun like a toy top. Screw sweaty palms, I'd take that any day, anything but this embarrasing display of vulnerability around her.

Tounge-tied, all I could do was smile nervously and look to my shoes once more. My shoes, my safe haven, anything but having to meet her adoring gaze.

Just then, a knock at the door saved me.

"Someone called for a massage?"
I looked up to see a short, curvy woman with bouncy blonde curls, and sky blue eyes to match.

If anywhere else, this woman would own the room, but standing next to Adalia, a woman too beautiful and breath taking for me to even have the privelege of looking at her, she looked plain. Like a Shiny Porche next to a Civic. Both beautiful cars, but nothing in comparrison. I shuddered at the thought. All these Civic Sponsered Posters, and the car is flooding my mind.

"Yes, thanks so much for coming over Sue. This is Mr. Patrick Stump. Lead singer, primary composer, and rhythm guitarist of the headlining band, Fall Out Boy. Patrick, this is Susan McDonald. One of my interns, she's studied the art of massage therapy. Nothing to worry about, you're in very good hands."

Susan laughed lightly.

"'Thanks so much for coming over' Funny stuff Dali, you practacally forced me to drop everything and run over here."
Susan said, as she put her bag on a nearby shelf.

Adalia shot her an emotion I had yet to see on her face. Looked somewhat like embarrasment... perhaps a hint of annoyance?

"Brennon. Miss Brennon. Don't forget who you're talking to, Susan." Adalia said narrowing her eyebrows.

"Geez. Get a grip, Dali. I'm just saying. You made this seem like top priority. Screw the problem currently going on in lightning and sound. Aedan's clogging the lines looking for you, and you're here, making sure everything with Mr. Stump here is gliding along like butter. Which is the priority now?" Susan said defending herself.

"I'm Tour Manager for a reason. I know how to prioritise, Miss McDonald. Now, unless you want a suspension, I strongly suggest you watch your tone when talking to your boss. Take care of Phádraig's massage, and I'll do the rest. Get to work."
Adalia said walking off, with annoyance staining her face.

Susan sighed and looked over to me, her eyes apologetic.

"I'm sorry about that... she's just... she's just so weird sometimes. I guess I forget she's my boss. She's laid back... but in an instant, that sort of thing happens."

I shrugged my shoulders. "Her job is stressful. Not always easy to be boss. I guess... it's lonley at the top?"

She smiled.
"I see why she keeps you in mind when she makes all her decisions. You're sweet."

I looked away to avoid more embarrasment.

"Alright then, Mr. Rock Star. Lets finish this so you can go out their and perform. Adalia's not the only one looking forward to seeing you guys perform."

This day just keeps getting more confusing.