Angels Shouldn't Cry

I am now in Duluth, Minnesota. As the night had passed in St. Paul, I found myself in Duluth just as Dawn started. Cars passed right through me but none of the drivers saw me. What a shame. I didn't feel any of the good emotions.

Only the worst swirled around me. Tears would continuously roll down my cheeks and leave permanent black lines. I've grown used to the non-stop crying even though after a few times it would leave my eyes hurting and me gasping for breath. All to many times have i felt the physical pain of cutters , Victims of murders, people blowing their brains out, and many more.

Nothing was new to me even though it seemed to get worse every time.

I closed my eyes, hiding my emerald green irises. I tried to shut the world out like i have tried, oh, so many times before

i always end up somewhere else; just like now.

I had no idea where i was but as i looked around, i found that i was near an old brick school. Students started coming out and going to their vehicles. the younger children got on buses or got into their parents vehicles.

I watched from my place on a public bench. A male teenager came out with a few other males following him. Sudden pain burst through my chest. I crumpled over to the ground in pure agony. No protection was their for me and because of the many years of dealing with this, i have learned to not scream out because it doesn't do any good.

However, this one time, this exact time, i gave out a ear piercing shriek of agony. The pain was all to much. My body twitched and yearned for unconsciousness. To be able to give into the darkness and escape the continual pain i recieve each day. The never ending grief that manages to cage with the sorrow. Displeasure is always left as a bitter taste in my mouth and thoughts of every kind that enter my head.

My whole being shaked for the need to shut down. To never feel again and to be able to just sit in darkness for a never-ending sleep.

That was never going to happen.