Start To Begin Again

Piece One.

I slammed the cab door shut and threw the driver a couple of bills I had taken out a few minutes earlier. I avoided looking at the house as I made my way to the trunk of the car. Still I couldn’t shake the feeling the house was watching me.

I pulled the trunk open and took out my bags. I barely missed my fingers when I closed the ancient trunk. I gave the yellow slab of paint a quick glare before tapping the car. The driver didn’t waste any time driving off and leaving me alone in front of the house.

I looked at the house. It wasn’t an ugly house. It was actually a very normal looking house right down to the fresh coat of paint that had no doubt just been done recently. Still my heart jumped in my throat. It took most of my shattered courage to not grab my phone and call for another cab.

I took in a quick breath before gripping my bags better and walked up the crushed walk way. The sound of the rocks under my feet made a beat that sounded like the final beat of the drum before you stepped in front of the firing squad. I don’t know why I was acting like I was coming back to a horrible place. I only had good memories. Still. I felt uneasy coming back.

I had just stepped of the bar and grill for my break. Normally I would take my break inside but tonight it was packed and full of drunken college kids. I pulled out my cigarettes and pulled out one white stick of relaxation.

I had quit when I had still lived in Huntington. It was a broken pact between me and then boyfriend. He ended up going back to smoking within the month. I held out for close to a year. Eleven months, fourteen days. All broken as soon as I moved into my new apartment.

“Can I bum one?” I didn’t even look up as I pulled out another one from its friends. And handed the stranger one.

“Menthols. You always did smoke the girly shit,” I looked up and let my cigarette drop from my mouth. Johnny smiled and pulled me into a hug. I kinda did a half hearted pat on his back.

“What are you doing here?” I asked pulling away. I brushed my hair back nervously and wiped my face clean of any smidge of sweat.

“He’s not here. He’s at…home.” He said strangely. I didn’t take any notice. Instead I stomped out my cigarette that was down on the ground and pulled out a new one.

“So what are you doing in Washington?” I asked again blowing out a puff of smoke. Johnny mimicked my actions before answering.

“Road trip.” He said simply. I didn’t ask anymore questions. Instead I finished my little white sticks. I stubbed it out on the opposite wall and gave Johnny a quick nod before walking back inside.

“He won’t get out of bed,” I turned around and stepped out of the door way, “He’ll barely leave the house let alone his room. Matt had to take his dogs. He needs you,” He said bluntly.

So now I was walking up his walkway. That wasn’t the conversation that made me end up packing my things and get on plane but it was the one that opened the door to it.

I rolled my eyes when I saw yet another man from my past. This one wasn’t as nice as Johnny. Brian gave me a smile. I gave an annoyed grunt. I knew I should’ve moved to a different coast, maybe even a different country.

I gave out another frustrated sound when he pulled the passenger side door. I turned and walked down the sidewalk. I heard the car door slam and the car engine start. I pulled my jacket tighter around my small body.

“Linette, it’s 40 degrees. You know you want to get into this nice warm SUV.” I stopped and looked at Brian who leaned out the driver’s side window. Lights flashed and car honked, swerving to miss Brian’s car.

“Are you an idiot or did you tour in the U.K for to long?” I said glaring at him. He shrugged and smiled. I let out another groan and started walking again. I could hear the wheels of the SUV creep behind me. I stopped and turned around so fast my hair slapped my face.

“What do you want!?” I shouted.

“I just want one measly little conversation.” I rolled my eyes. He gave me a sad eyed puppy look. My heart tugged a little as Johnny’s words came back into my mind. ‘He won’t get out of bed’. I shook my head and walked around to the passenger side and made sure to slam the car door as hard as I could.

“Hey, easy it’s a rental.”

“You have until my apartment building. Now get on the right side of the road.” I was happy to have the car’s heat wrap around my body. The skirt wasn’t helping the matter.

“So how’s life,”

“Cut the niceties and tell me why you and the rest are really here?” I said keeping my eyes on the road. I could hear Brian call me a bitch under his breath. I didn’t care. I told them why I had left. I had told them I was tired of being a girlfriend to a rock star, tired of being a glorified house and dog sitter. Most of all tired of having to deal with a bon-a-fide kid.

“It’s just me and Johnny. Jimmy and Matt had no part in this,” That I believed, “Zacky won’t get out of bed. Gena dumped him.” The name made my eyes move and look at Brian. I could tell Brian was cheering in his mind. He had my attention.

“Gena was the girl he started dating after you. Real California girl. I mean don’t get me wrong she was great but she just didn’t fit with him. Anywho. She dumped him because she found a box of the stuff you left behind. Found some old pictures.” My interest was fading and my apartment was getting close. I lived directly straight up the street from my job. The issue. It was over 15 blocks away.

“So?”

“Zacky had been trying to change her. Superficially, like buying her the same lotions, and potions or clothes from the same stores. At first she thought he was just being cute till she found that box.” I peeked at him again.

“Stop,” I said as we neared my apartment.

“No, you need to hear this,”

“I meant stop because we’re at my door, Dumbass,” He grunted and pulled over and double parked.

“So, why should I care?” I asked.

“Don’t act all tough Miss Montana. If you didn’t care you woulda kept on walking. Instead you got into the car.”

“It’s cold, and I told you not to call me Montana.” I said getting out of the car. Brian grabbed my arm.

“Fine act like you don’t care but I can see past that little façade. I know you do and if you truly don’t then it wouldn’t be an issue to come down to Huntington at least for a weekend. Just to see him. See the state of how he is. Matt had to take away his damn dogs. The girls can’t even keep up with the housework. He’s stewing in his own filth.”

As much as I wanted to be cold hearted, as much I wanted to pull my arm out his grip and give him a swift punch in the face. I couldn’t. He was right I still cared. I was tired of having to be glorified nanny that didn’t mean I didn’t have a heavy heart while I packed.

“If you keep your car here, you’re gonna get a ticket. Park it and I’ll buzz you in. Apartment 42.” He nodded and let go of my arm.

So now I stood inside of a house that looked like it had a tag team fight with laundry and garbage and lost. I put my bags down and closed the front door softly before climbing the stairs.