Broken

I woke to the sounds of cooking. Or, to be more specific, Mikey cooking. He was a great cook but he always made a huge mess. He was a lot like Gerard.
I looked to my side where Gerard was curled up against me. My blood had dried on his skin, making him look paler. I began stroking his face, feeling his soft skin underneath my fingertips.

‘Morning.’ He whispered. I leant over and kissed his forehead.

‘Morning babe.’ I whispered back. Gerard slowly sat up, wrapping the doona around his waist. I stayed lying down, listening to Mikey fumble with things in the kitchen.

‘Stop thinking about her.’ Gerard whispered again, for no reason. I looked up at him, confused.
‘It wasn’t your mother, baby. He was lying.’ He said, massaging my temples. I relaxed under his touch, not ever realizing I was tensed.

‘He knew my mother’s name, though! 20 years ago, Linda was not a popular name.’ I snapped at him, instantly regretting it. He pulled his hands away from me, sliding backwards on the bed with his head down.
‘Gee, I’m sorry.’ I said, moving to sit on his lap. He wrapped his arms around me, kissing the top of my head gently.

‘Baby, I promise you that it was not your mother. Here, have a look.’ He said. I looked up at him, confused again. He set his fingers along my temples.
‘Close your eyes.’ He said, closing his as well. I sat there, waiting for something. I was surprised when images jumped into my head. It was like I was watching something off an overhead projector.
There was a woman with a scarf over her face, approaching a younger Paul. She was shorter than him, her long brown hair flowing from underneath the scarf.
“I don’t do business with strangers.” Paul smirked.

“My name is Linda.” A familiar voice ran through my head. I knew the voice, but it wasn't my mothers.
“I want this boy dead. I do not care what you do with his worthless body, nor do I care if you just leave him on the street. I want him gone.” The woman said, handing Paul a large wad of cash. He smiled and nodded.

“Last thing though. Take off that scarf.” He said. The woman turned around, pulling at the corner piece. It slowly unraveled, falling into her arms. Jessica looked up at Paul, smiling.

“I trust you can do this for me?” She asked, smiling like she used to.

“Yes, ma’m.”
The images faded, leaving me in the darkness. Gerard stroked my face, kissing me gently anywhere he could.

‘No. You’re wrong. Jess wouldn’t do that.’ I said, totally sure. I got off his lap and threw on my jeans, forgetting about the boxers. I left my shirt off and ran out of my room. I had to prove Gerard wrong. I just had to. I knew the sun was out but I was determined to get out into the open. People were staring at me as I ran for the exit. No-one had a clue what I was doing though.
The door was already open, so I ran faster. Before the sunlight could touch me, Gerard grabbed me around the waist and wrenched me back.

‘Frank! Are you fucking suicidal all of a sudden?’ He yelled, pulling me back as I fought against him. He threw me backwards and stood in front of the door.
‘Why won’t you believe me? The proof was right in front of your eyes.’ He snarled.

‘You’re wrong!’ I yelled running at him. He’d made me angry and I was losing control again. One second he was standing in front of me, the next he was flying through the open door. My body stopped functioning as I watched Gerard writhe in the sun. The door was closing slowly, giving me X-amount of time to actually do something. I sucked in a deep breath and ran out. I grabbed Gerard’s limp body and ran back through the half closed door.
I set Gerard on the ground, stroking his face.
‘Gee, come on. Wake up.’ I said to him, shaking his shoulder. No reply.
‘Please. Gee. Please, wake up. I need you.’ No reply.
‘Gerard! Don’t do this to me!’ I screamed. His eyes popped open, a scowl on his face.

‘Don’t yell!’ He rasped. I quickly pulling him against my chest, hugging him.

‘Come on.’ I whispered, placing my wrist at his lips. He refused, turning his head away.
‘You have to, Gerard.’ I said, trying again. He turned his head the other way. I sighed and bit down on my wrist, tearing the skin away and forcing it to Gerard’s lips. I ran my fingers over his withered cheek, feeling the skin go from dry and papery, to smooth and silky again.
‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.’ I repeated till he stopped drinking.

‘Shut up, already.’ He said, throwing my arm away. He backed up against the wall, his eyes drooping.

‘I’m sorry, Gerard. I didn’t want to do that.’ I whispered, watching the skin on my wrist grow back slowly.

‘That’s not what I’m pissed off about! You don’t believe me! What? You think I made that memory up?’ He snapped at me, fighting against consciousness.

‘Jess wouldn’t fucking do that! She was a nice girl.’ I said.

‘Whatever.’ He sighed, struggling to stand up.

‘Let me help you.’ I said, standing up and taking hold of his elbow.

‘I don’t need help.’ He snapped, tearing out of my grip. He limped back to his room with me following a few metres behind.
‘Stop following me.’ He whispered, opening his door.

‘I’m your boyfriend. We should be talking this out, not forgetting about it.’ I said calmly.

‘What’s the point? You don’t believe me anyway.’ I spat. I sighed and pushed him through the bedroom door. I kept pushing his stiff body to the bed till he fell back. I straddled his waist and pinned his arms over his head.

‘Let me put it this way for you. Put yourself in my position and Mikey was the one to put the hit on you. Now, how do you feel?’ I sighed, getting annoyed.

‘Okay! I get it. I’m sorry.’ He said after a while.
‘I just hate it when you don’t believe me. We always end up fighting over whose right and who’s not.’

‘I know. I’m sorry. It’s just…. She was a really good friend and, well…. It’s hard to believe she wanted me dead.’

‘Forget about it, baby. It was 20 years ago.’ I just nodded and let him up. We laid there for a while. I don’t know what Gerard was thinking. He could have been digging through my head, thinking something on his own or even digging through someone else’s head for once.

‘Babe?’ I said, breaking the silence. He made a noise in the back of his throat.
‘You’ve never told me how you got created. I’ve heard all the other stories.’

‘My story is just the same as everyone else’s. I was at a masquerade ball. A nice man asked me to dance and… Here I am.’ He said simply.

‘What about Mikey?’ I asked. I’d always been afraid to ask about their creation. It was a sensitive case for me, everyone else’s might have been too.

‘He asked me to bring him to this life. We were really close when we were kids and once he found out what happened to me, he gave up his life. I still regret it.’ He said with a sorrowful voice.

‘I like having Mikey here, even if we do fight. It wouldn’t be the same without him.’ I said, smiling.

‘I know.’ He whispered, kissing my head again.
‘Promise me something?’ He asked after a moment.

‘Depends.’

‘Promise me that, no matter what, you won’t go after Jess?’ He asked, running his fingers through my hair.

‘Promise.’ I said, kissing his nose. I didn’t need to hurt, scare or kill Jess just to feel complete or happy. Gerard, Lara, Nic, Ray, Mikey, Lilah and Bob were all I really needed. They were my happiness in this horrible place. No amount of murders could compete with that.