And I'll Sculpt My Life For Your Acceptance

My new apartment is legit amazing. It is me but in apartment form not human form, if that even makes sense to anybody who isn’t inside my head.

It is a one bedroom place in a building in the center of Berkeley, which was good. I can’t even describe it, it’s just amazing. I’m excited to finally be seeing the back of New Jersey, I’ve hated this place since I was a little girl.

I called the apartment owners once I’d seen the pictures and told them that I would rent the place, they told me that I could move in whenever and that the place was fully furnished so I wouldn’t need anything.

I was planning on leaving Friday, it was Tuesday when I found the apartment so it gave me enough time to pack and say goodbye to the few people that I cared about here. Nobody wanted me to leave so soon but I still thought of it like a band-aid; the quicker, the more pain free. Everybody that I said it to, including a girl at the local supermarket, thought that was stupid and that I should give it some time but I knew that this was what I wanted and nothing was going to hold me back.

I had to drive from New Jersey to Berkeley, which would take me around two days, non stop. I was planning to leave in the early hours on Friday so I was hoping to get there late Saturday night or early Sunday morning.

During the last few days back in Jersey, Edie and I were inseparable. It hurt me just as much to leave her as it did for her to see me leave; we were like sisters, people even thought we were sisters. She helped me pack all my stuff and took the whole week off work and chilled with me at my house, she even ditched her boyfriend all week for me.

It was 4a.m Friday morning and I was finishing up putting my stuff into my car. My dad, Edie and Cameron were all standing on the nature strip watching me, they had each helped bring stuff out but I insisted that I put it into the car to demonstrate my killer Tetris skills.

“And it’s all packed!” I said, moving around to where they all stood with sad looks on their faces. “Cheer up! I’ll call you all as soon as I get there and I’ll be back for Christmas.”

“That’s not enough.” Edie said, her lips pushing out into a small pout. “You have to text me everyday and call as often as you can or email and if you can come visit for my birthday and I’ll visit for yours.” I laughed at her. “Don’t laugh at me, Karmony! I’m being dead serious.”

I put my balled up fist against my lips to muffle the sound and turned to my dad who had tears in his eyes. “This must be what it’s like for parents whose kids go away to college.”

“Come on Old Man, don’t cry!” I said, shoving his shoulder softly, I knew that seeing his cry would bring the waterworks for me.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized as he wiped away the few tears that had escaped. “I just don’t want you to leave anymore. I know it will be good for you but it’s on the other side of the country, couldn’t you just move to the other side of town?”

I shook my head, “I’ve been through this with everyone, damn it! I need to do this. I can’t waste my life here anymore, it’s bringing out the worst in me and I can’t follow my dreams in this crappy place. I need to go out and live for myself, if it doesn’t work for me out there I’ll be back in a heart beat. But I know that it is for the best. I’m starting out on a good note, I already have somewhere to live, all I need to do is find a decent job and I’ll be fine.”

“A decent job?” Dad asked, raising his eyebrows.

“Yes…?”

“What are you going to do?” He asked, he’d found the flaw in my plan and I didn’t have an answer for him.

“I’ll find something, just get off my case!” I snapped stared down at converse clad feet. “I’m sorry dad, I know you’re only looking out for me, but I’ll be fine for a while I have all the money from past jobs.”

“Kar, I’m going to miss you!” Cameron interrupted before dad could say anything else to me. “Marry a rich guy so that I can have all the dosh I need.”

I laughed at him. “I’ll miss you too, you pain in the ass. And I’m sorry to crush your dreams but I’m not going to marry anybody for at least another ten years. That’s the last thing on my mind at the moment.”

“Boy am I glad to hear that.” I heard my father mumble.

“And don’t go dating anybody until I’ve seen a picture of them and spoken to them, okay?” Edie said, seriously, she was like my own personal match maker; if somebody wanted to date me but didn’t fit her standards, I couldn’t go there. It may seem weird but I trusted her and her opinions on guys.

“Yes mum.” I said in a fake bored voice. “I better be going. I’ll call you all soon and I love you all.” I said before hugging each of them and getting in the car and heading to my new home, I could already tell that it was going to be exciting, I just don’t know what Berkeley has in stall for me.

Almost 50 hours later I pulled up at my new apartment complex, it was nearing 7 o’clock in the morning and the small parking lot was fairly full. It was too early to call the owners, I said that I would get here around 9 not 7, I decided to go find somewhere to get some food for breakfast than I was going to go back and wait at the complex.

I found a small bakery on the outskirts of town that was open, I parked near the entrance and entered the empty store. The door made a ding sound and a tired looking girl walked out from the back. She smiled politely at me.

“Hello, what can I get you?” her voice was just as tired as her face showed.

“Do you have toast? I can’t find anywhere else open.” I asked.

She shook her head, “No toast, but I can make you some, you look like you haven’t slept in days and judging from your accent I’d say you’re all the way from New Jersey?”

I nodded, “Yep; Jersey. Thank you heaps, and can I grab a coffee, I do not care how you make it, I just need caffeine.” She nodded her head and started to make my toast and coffee while I took a seat near the window. The sun had already came out and people where starting to make their way to work or come back from a good night out partying, I envied these people, they were all out having a good time with friends, while I was driving all night in the opposite direction to all my friends.

“Here you go.” The girl said as she placed the plate and cup down in front of me, I smiled kindly up at her.

“Thank you.”

She took a seat across from me. “So, are you visiting or?” She asked, genuinely curious.

“I just moved here, and to be honest I’m surprised you’re talking to me.” I blurted out; she looked a bit taken back. “I mean, I’m from New Jersey, I look like a mess and most people would run in the opposite direction if they seen me coming.”

She relaxed a little at my explanation. “I’m originally from Jersey so I grew up with people who look like their all bad ass but trust me, I know you’re a softy at heart!” she laughed.

I fake glared at her. “I’m no softy, I’m badass, bitch!” I laughed along with her. I took the last bite of my toast and glanced up at the clock, it was not almost 8. “Mind if I chill here with you for a while, I haven’t got the keys to my apartment yet so if I leave I’ll have to wait in my car for the next hour.”

“Yeah sure, I like the company. Did you want some more toast?” she asked, I shook my head -no. “Where is your apartment?” I told her the directions, not knowing the name of it. “Oh fuck! I live in the same complex!”

I smiled widely at her, “At least I know who to go to when I need sugar!” I joked.

“Right back at cha, I don’t really get along with the other neighbors.” She said glaring at the table top. She quickly glanced up at me with curious eyes. “I don’t even know your name.”

“It’s Karmony.” I told her, feeling confident that she would like it. If she doesn’t, well screw her.

“Karma-what?” she laughed.

“”Karmony. Like Karma and Harmony mixed together. ” I explained, using the same example that I told everybody.

“I love that name! it’s so unique.” She said, smiling over at me. “Mines Claire, just plain old Claire. Nothing special here.” She said pointing to herself.

“I like the name Claire.” I told her. “I actually really like the simple, plain names more that the outrageous, weird names.” I was being honest telling her this. When, and if, I have kids I would name them something simple because I know that it isn’t as fun as it seems to have a unique, unusual name.

I left the shop at around 8:30 and drove back to the apartment complex to call the owners.