And I'll Sculpt My Life For Your Acceptance

Billie stayed at my apartment that night, it was extremely awkward for a while after what happened but he tried his best to make it less awkward. He seemed to have put it in the back of his head, as much as he could with the way that I had been acting.

However, when I awoke the next morning he was gone, in his place was a note saying that he had to help his sister move houses and that he would be back around later tonight.

I was glad that he had left. I need time to think and because of work than him coming back later tonight, I wouldn't have had time to.

What happened last night, I don't want it to happen again. I want to be ready next time the situation comes up, I know that I can't really decide it on the spot; I'm too indecisive with things like that. I used to be classed as 'easy' back in Jersey and it hurt that people thought of me that way, I can see why people thought I was like that but I honestly wasn't. I didn't lay down for every guy that offered, I wasn't like that at all. But when I'm drunk or high I can't exactly control my actions and half the time I can't remember a thing that happens when I wake up the next morning.

Back to the point, I don't know how I'm supposed to ready myself for the situation; I didn't want to screw everything up with Billie Joe, he was really important to me and I don't want to rush things with him, if that makes sense. But I guess I'll just have to think about it more.

Later that night...

Knock, knock, knock.

I was brought back to reality by the sound of somebody knocking at the door. Lucky too, or the spaghetti sauce that I was currently cooking would have burnt.

"Shit." I cursed lowly as I turned the dial on the stove that turned off the part that I was currently using. "Shit, shit, shit!" I said a little louder as I tried to lift the pot off the stove with my bare hands, there wasn't any over mitts or a tea towel around me.

Knock, knock, knock.

"Come in!" I called out; as I turned the cold water tap on to relieve the burning on my hands.

The front door opened and closed and footsteps made their way down the hall. They stopped at the lounge room door before continuing towards the kitchen.

"Karmony?" It was Billie.

"Yeah, in here. Sorry I almost burnt the sauce than I burnt my hands." I explained the reason why I couldn't get to the door.

"It's okay. I just hope you don't tell just anybody to come in." He said as he walked into the kitchen.

"No, of course not! I lived in New Jersey my whole life." I said, as if it meant something, it did; Jersey wasn't a place where you could leave your doors unlocked if you were or weren't home. And it wasn't a safe place where you could just let anyone into your house. "I knew it would have been you anyway, or one of the guys or possibly Claire. Anybody else wouldn't have come in or if it was someone that wanted me dead, they wouldn't have knocked."

He shook his head, almost in disbelief. "You're mind works weird, my dear."

I grinned over at him as I searched the cupboards for the tea towels, once I found one I grabbed the pot and moved it to the sink. "But you still love me." He seemed a little taken back at the words I'd used but brushed it off and just nodded.

And here comes the awkwardness again.

"Kar, about last night," he started, I watched him run a hand through his blonde hair before he continued. "I didn't mean for that to happen. I didn't think 'oh we're all alone now, let's fuck!' Just so you know. I don't think like that."

"Don't worry about it." I wasn't only telling him not to worry, but also myself. "Now, would you like some spaghetti?"

He nodded eagerly and watched me dish up two bowls of it.

Christmas Day

I felt my shoulder being shaken and I could hear my name being said but I couldn't bring myself to wake up.

"Karmony, Kar, Karmony." It sounded like it was Tre calling my name. "Karmony, wake up!" he whined. "Beej, wake her up."

"Man, I don't want her to punch me or something." Billie said, he was lying next to me. He must have brought Tre over since he didn't stay here last night.

"Guys, I'll punch you both in a minute if you don't piss off." I grumbled and buried my head into my pillow.

"No you won't!" Tre yelled loudly, I winced at the sound and groaned. "You love us!"

"No, seriously, piss off Tre." I said, I was more alert now that he just yelled loudly.

"No, it's Christmas! You should be all cheery on Christmas Day!"

"I will be, when I wake up." I told him as I snuggled into Billie.

"Billie!" Tre whined. I couldn't see him but I was almost positive he had at least one hand on his hip and a pout on his face. I felt Billie lift one arm, which I'm guessing was to show that he couldn't do anything. "You guys are no fun. I'll just go chill next to the Christmas tree."

"Fine!" I sighed. "I'm up." I finally opened my eyes to see Tre standing by the door with the biggest smile on his face. I couldn't help but laugh at him, not because of his smile but because he was wearing a red Christmas hat with a green t-shirt and green shorts, to be honest, I was surprised he hadn't grown pointy ears and shrink. "You look like a crappy elf!" I laughed loudly at him.

"At least I don't look like a birds nest!" he shot back at me. I immediately shut up and glared at him.

"You wouldn't have seen me like this if you didn't come here at," I paused and looked at the clock on my bedside table. "8:14! Why?" I looked at Billie Joe in disbelief, how could they be awake at this time.

"He's like a little kid. At least you weren't woken up at 6. I tried to take my time so you could sleep longer but he quite literally dragged me and Mike out of the apartment, he's asleep on your couch by the way."

"Go wake Mike up and we'll be out in a minute, Mr. Elf." I joked with Tre, he didn't find it funny.

"He's dressed like that every Christmas for years!" Billie told me once Tre had left.

"He looks hilarious!"

Later that day at Billie's brother's house.

We slowly walked up the path towards Billie's brother’s house. It would be a lie to say that I wasn't nervous, who wouldn't be, I was about to be surrounded by a whole heap of people who I have never met before and I'm dating their brother/son/uncle; things are bound to get awkward.

"Relax!" Billie told me before he laughed. "It's like I'm walking you to your death or something. They aren't going to interrogate you, well, Mitch might but just ignore him, like, literally ignore him, he's an ass."

"Who is Mitch?" I asked, unsure of who the hell he was talking about. He'd never mentioned Mitch before.

"My step-dad, fucking jerk he is." He grumbled. I just nodded and watched as Billie pressed the doorbell of his Brother Alan's house.

I heard footsteps rushing towards the door and a few seconds later the door swung open to reveal a young girl, maybe 3 years old.

"Uncle Billie!" The little girl squealed, throwing her arms around Billie's leg.

"Hey there, Gracie!" Billie replied with just as much enthusiasm as he lifted the young girl up and placed her comfortably on his hip. "Merry Christmas!"

"Thank you." She grinned back at him, showing a missing front tooth.

"Did the tooth fairy leave you anything?" Billie immediately asked, clearly seeing the missing tooth as well.

She nodded enthusiastically. "Two dollars!" Both Billie and I laughed. Upon hearing my laugh, Gracie turned to me. "Who are you?" She asked, curiously. Her eyebrows screwed up cutely.

"I'm your uncle’s friend. My name is Karmony." I told her.

That must have been a good enough answer for her because she grinned and started to squirm in Billie's arms, he placed her back on the ground and she ran the few steps to me and hugged my legs.

"I'm Gracie!" she told me.

"Grace," a male voice sighed. I looked up to see a man standing in the doorway at the end of the thin hallway. He didn't look anything like Billie Joe. "What have I told you about opening the door by yourself?"

"Sorry daddy." The small girl whispered as she walked slowly back to her father. "I won't do it again."

"It's okay, baby girl, just wait for me next time, yeah?" She nodded her head and the man looked back up at us. "Hey Bill, hey Bill's girlfriend." He grinned at Billie and I.

"Hey Alan." Billie replied as he put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer to his side and more into the house. "This is Karmony, Kar this is Alan, my brother." He introduced us.

"Hello Karmony." Alan said, extending his hand, I shook it politely and followed him through the door and than through the kitchen. "Mom and Mitch just left so they should be here in about 10 minutes." he explained to Billie who nodded his head.

"I wish he would not come, he's going to ruin the day." He grumbled.

"I told mom that but she insisted that he come." They both sighed as we entered another room, which I presume was the dinning room, where a bunch of people where sitting around a rather large table.

"Hey guys." Billie said, getting everybody's attention. They all looked from Billie to me and smiled politely.

"Well introduce us!" One of the guys, who looked more like Billie than Alan did, yelled out.

"Everybody, this is Karmony." He told them. I blushed slightly and smiled slightly at everyone. "Karmony that's my sister Marci and her husband Tom, my brother David and his wife Kim, my sister Hollie and her boyfriend Anthony, Anna my sister and Alysha is Alan's wife. Oh and the little girl in the booster chair is Marci's daughter Riley and Simon and Michael are probably outside, yeah?" he looked at David as if to ask him if they were outside, he nodded his head and looked over his shoulder and out the window to where I presume the two boys were. "They’re David and Kim's sons."

I nodded my head, trying to remember who everybody was. You could tell which of the people sitting around the table where siblings, they all looked similar, with the exception of Alan.

Before Billie and I had a chance to sit down, the front door opened again and I could hear somebody walking in heels towards where we were. "Alan!" A female voice called out.

"We're all in the dinning room, Ma!" Alan called towards the kitchen.

Within a few seconds Billie's mom walked through the door. "Hello everybody." She smiled kindly at everyone before her eyes landed on Billie and I. "You must be Karmony." She said, making her way over to us. "Billie has told me about you." I glanced over at Billie who nodded his head once to show that it was true. "You are as gorgeous as he said you were!" I felt my cheeks heat up even more than before. "I'm Ollie by the way." She said, pulling me into a hug. I hugged back awkwardly.

"She doesn't talk much, aye Ma!" David said, grinning at me.

"Maybe you haven't given her a chance to talk, David." Ollie said as she pulled away from me and glanced in her son’s direction. "Billie Joe, be a dear and go help Mitch with the food while we get to know this lovely girl." Billie reluctantly nodded and done as his mother had told him, leaving me alone with what I suspected would be like an interrogation, which Billie had told me wouldn't happen.