And I'll Sculpt My Life For Your Acceptance

The rest of the day, I put all of my belonging in their respective spots. I only stopped to order a pizza and to eat it. Once I finished, it was around 8 so I just sat around and watched TV until I was tired enough to sleep.

The next day I decided to go and find a job. I went to numerous places but most weren’t looking for employees or I wasn’t the type of person they were looking to employ but if I died my hair just one colour, lost the piercings and completely changed my personality they would hire me, I told these people where to stick their bloody job, or they were looking for more qualified people. My last stop was a music venue ‘924 Gilman Street’, I didn’t know what I could do there but I loved music so I’m sure I could do something.

I went to the large door and banged on it a few times, the guy who I’d met a few hours ago at one place told me that I just had to knock and somebody would be here. After about a minute the door opened to reveal a large guy with tattoos covering his arms.

“How can I help you?” His voice was rough and he looked like a bouncer or something.

“Oh, yeah, I was wondering if I could talk to the owner or a manager or something.” I said, feeling intimidated by this guy.

He looked at me, like he was studying me before nodding and stepping aside to let me walk past him and into the venue. He told me to stay at the bar while he went to get his boss. The room that I was in was fairly large, it had a stage on the opposite side to where the bar was and there were a few round bar tables close to the bar but it still had plenty of room for a large crowd. The walls were all painted black.

I stood awkwardly next to the bar for a few minutes before deciding to just sit on one of the stools. I was reading the wall that had band flyers pinned to it. None of the bands names really flew out at me, so I guessed that the bands that played here weren’t well known.

I heard footsteps approaching me, making me fly out of me seat and stand next to it and face the direction of the footsteps. A guy chuckled at my actions. “You can sit, I wont attack you from behind, girly.” He said. I noticed he looked like he was in his early to mid 30s. He could have past for a rock star. “I’m Tony.” He said, extending his hand towards me. “I own this joint.”

I shook it with as much enthusiasm as I could muster without looking too desperate. “I’m Karmony.” I saved the long introduction for another time; I didn’t want to bore him before we even had a chance to talk.

“How can I help you, Karmony?” he asked, looking at me curiously.

“I was actually looking for a job, a …friend told me you were looking for people.” I wasn’t sure I should say ‘some random guy I met a few hours ago’ so I stuck with friend.

He nodded his head. “We are. Do you have any experience working in places like Gilman?”

“I don’t really have any experience, no.” I replied honestly, I felt my cheeks burn up for being so stupid and thinking that I could just walk in here and get a job.

“Well what can you do? Can you work behind the bar and hand out drinks? Or can you sell tickets to the shows?” he asked, giving me examples of possible things I could do, maybe he will hire me.

“I can do whatever you need me to.” I said honestly. I mean, who can’t do those things? It doesn’t exactly take a rocket scientist.

“I may take you up on that.” He said as he walked around the other side of the bar to the fridge and grabbed out a bottle of coke and pointed to it to ask if I wanted one, I shook my head.

“So, do I get the job?” I asked hopefully.

He smiled widely at me. “You start tonight.” My own smile matched his as.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” I yelled as I hugged him over the bar. “What time?”

“Well what are you doing now? We open in an hour and you don’t know the ropes of this joint yet.” He explained, clearly asking if I could start now.

“Nothing, I’ll stay and somebody can teach me…?” I asked, looking around for somebody who could possibly work behind the bar or in the ticket place but it seemed pretty empty for them to be opening in an hour.

“I’ll show you where everything is behind here and tomorrow I’ll show you how to sell the tickets.” He explained. “Just wait here for a second and I’ll go tell Casey, the bouncer, who you are so he doesn’t get all confused and shit.” He took off in the direction that he came and I took a seat, this time it didn’t feel like I shouldn’t be there.

When Tony came back, he showed me where everything was and told me how much the different bottles of refreshments cost and also where the plastic cups to put the drinks in were. He also told me that he would be behind the bar with me tonight so if I get confused with anything he will be here to help out.

He opened up early because of how many people were already lining up outside. He had told me that one of the bands playing tonight, ‘Green Day’ were fairly well known around here. I told him that I’d never heard of them and he said that he knew I would like them, everybody does. People started coming up and getting drinks while the first band took the stage, I didn’t catch there name because I was too busy. During the middle of their set, Tony took off to help out Green Day with some stuff since I was doing fine by myself. He joined me again about half an hour later just before Green Day took the stage.

When they came out I recognized them immediately. It was the boys who had helped me take my boxes in the day before: Tre, Mike and Billie.

I turned to Tony, “I know these guys!” I yelled over Billie’s voice and the screaming that was coming from the audience.

“Their good, aye?” he yelled back, I nodded even though I’d never heard them.

I listened to Green Day as well as I could while getting everybody their drinks. They were actually pretty good. I will definitely be asking Tony where to get their CD’s from once they are finished.

After they finished one of their songs, I noticed that Billie looked over at Tre who nodded his head.

“Now, I’m sure most of you know this about Tre, but for those of you who don’t; he’s not only a killer drummer but also a genius at writing lyrics and he can sing!” Billie said laughing at the audience who all screamed loudly at the mention of Tre’s name. “C’mon Tre Cool, get your fat ass down here and sing for these gorgeous people.” Tre jumped out from behind his drum kit and started running down to where Billie stood. Billie gave Tre his guitar and moved aside so that Tre could take the microphone before going up the back to the drum kit where he started to hit it aimlessly while Tre spoke to the audience.

The accent that he sung in made it difficult to understand some of the lyrics but from the ones I could, the song sounded pretty damn funny.

I turned to Tony, who was watching Tre and the rest of the guys with an amused smile on his face. “Does he do this a lot?” I asked.

“Yeah, almost every time they play here. The audiences love it.” He answered.

The band only played another two songs, one of which Billie had dedicated to a girl name Adrienne, the song was ‘80’. I felt jealous of this girl immediately. The song was amazing.

The finished after that song and they all disappeared. Tony told me that if they came out to get a drink it was free for them before taking off to do something. I wanted them to come out and see me working here so that I could tell them how great they are but at the same time, I felt stupid for being jealous of a girl who would no doubt be with them.

After about 10 minutes the audience had shrunk by more than half and I could sit back and relax while nobody was bothering me; that was until a familiar face appeared before me with a huge smile on his face, he waved enthusiastically at me before climbing over the bar and hugging me. I stood there, softly patting his back while he squeezed the shit out of me.

“Tre, please let me go.” I gasped out. He let go hesitantly and stepped back a tiny bit still smiling at me.

“Kar! I’ve missed you Hot Stuff!” I laughed.

“You only met me yesterday; I doubt I left that great of an impression since you didn’t even say a proper goodbye to me.” I said matter-of-factly.

“I’m being honest!” he argued before hugging me again, this time I got a whiff of some funky smelling smoke.

“Weed?” I asked, sniffing his closely.

“What?” he asked looking guilty. “No weed here.” He said shaking his head a bit too much. “I’m hungry, shit, I want a cookie!” he yelled in my ear, I pulled away from him slightly and wacked my ear.

“Don’t yell in my ear, you tard.” I said, shaking my head to try and get my hearing back in my ear.

“Sorry, Babycakes.” He apologized with yet another nickname. I opened my mouth to speak but I heard that voice that makes my knees weak.

“Tre, dude, leave Kerry alone.” Billie said, laughing his amazing laugh. I should not be thinking this, he has a girlfriend!

“’Tis not Kerry, BJ. It’s Kar-mon-eee” he said, replacing the ‘y’ in my name with a continuous ‘e’ sound.

“Karmony?” I waved at them awkwardly, avoiding making eye contact with Billie.

“Hey guys, you were amazing out there.” I said. “I really want to buy a CD now.”

“I can give you one when you finish, if you want?” Billie asked.

I shook my head. “I’d love to but I don’t know when I’m finishing and I don’t want you to have to wait around for me.”

Billie shook his head too. “You’ll finish soon, this place is almost empty and I’m sure Tony will let you go once it is. And I don’t mind waiting around.” I tried to think of another excuse to get out of having him wait around for me but I came up with nothing. “It’s settled I’ll wait ‘till you’re finished but first I’ll help the boys loud the truck up, don’t leave while I’m gone, ‘kay?” I nodded weakly as he started to walk about with Mike and Tre, who had that damn smirk on his face again.

Once they disappeared, Tony showed up. “It’s just about empty, I’ll let you leave but first I’m going to need all your details and shit.” He told me, handing me a white piece of paper with heaps of writing on it. I could barely read it since it was so dark so I just pretended to be reading it. “You can’t see a thing can you?” Tony laughed as he flicked a switch on the wall behind me, which lit up the whole room. “Is that better?” I nodded, feeling my cheeks go red with the embarrassment.

I fill out all my details and gave him my back details before handing him back the piece of paper. “Thanks. You can leave now if you want.” He told me.

“Not allowed until Billie gets back.” I told him, I’d thought about making my escape but I knew that he would confront me next time he seen me.

“Oh okay, well did you want a drink while you wait?”

I nodded my head, “Just a water, please.” He grabbed a bottle out of the fridge and handed it to me.

After another 10 minutes, Billie still wasn’t back. I decided to leave; I was practically falling asleep on the stool. “Hey, Tony?” he glanced over at me from the other side of the room. “Can you tell Billie, if he comes back, to just leave a CD here and I’ll grab it –wait, I’m working tomorrow yeah?” he nodded. “Okay, just tell him I’ll grab it then.” He nodded again.

“Be here at about 12 tomorrow, it’s only a day shift. We’re closed Tuesday and Wednesday nights.” He informed me.

“’Kay, I’ll see you tomorrow.” I said with a wave and left.

Billie Joe’s Point of View.

After we rounded the corner and were out of Karmony’s sight Tre started up again. “BJ and Kar, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!” he sang loudly.

“Dude; shut the fuck up.” I snapped. “I told you yesterday; I do not like her. I have Adrienne.” I knew I was lying to my friend and myself but I didn’t care, I couldn’t break Adrienne’s heart, it wasn’t fair.

“Billie Joe Armstrong, I told you after the show, she isn’t worth it anymore.” Mike said sternly. “Not after what she done.”

“I don’t care what she done!” I snapped again. “I’ve forgiven her and that’s all there is to it.” I stormed off towards my car, leaving them to pack everything up.

I couldn’t handle knowing that my girlfriend had cheated on me with her ex while I was on tour, it should have been the other way around; the band guy was supposed to cheat not the innocent girlfriend! I forgave her once she told me because I didn’t want to lose her but I know that I already have and now there is Karmony! She’s fucking gorgeous and in an effortless, natural way as well. She wasn’t wearing any make up yesterday when I met her and she was stunning tonight with the very little that she had on.

But I have now blown it with her. I was supposed to go back in there after I helped the guys but there was no chance I was going to be going back there, I didn’t even want to go back home, I was too much of a wuss to face Mike and Tre. I decided to swing by my apartment, grab the CD’s and then head over to Karmony’s apartment and wait for her there.

The apartment seemed to be mocking me with the pictures of Adie and me along the hall and on the bedside table in my room. I quickly grabbed the CDs and took off before the apartment got the better of me and I broke everything in there. I got to Karmony’s apartment complex before her so I just waited at her door.

She came up about 5 minutes after I got there. Once she seen me, her amazing smile appeared. “Billie? What are you doing here? I thought you said to wait at Gilman?”

I sighed, she’d actually waited for me and I’d been a dick and left. “I’m sorry about that I, uh, had to take off so I thought I’d bring these around here since I was in the neighborhood.” I said, handing her the two CDs. Liar.

“Oh, thanks.” She said, examining the cases. “Did you want to come in?” She asked as she unlocked the door.

I accepted her offer and she led me inside. The place looked a lot nicer and more comfortable than my own apartment. She threw her keys on the kitchen bench and opened the fridge to retrieve a large bottle of coke. “Did you want a drink?” I nodded and watched her grab two glasses from the cabinet. “If I out one of these on now, will you get all embarrassed?” she asked as she left the kitchen and went into the lounge.

“Nah, I’m used to hearing my voice. It’s in my head all the time.” I joked, but she just looked at me funny clearly not getting the joke.

She put on 1,039/Smoothed Out Slappy Hours first. We sat there listening to the whole album, he asking me questions about the band and me asking questions about her. During ‘The One I Want’ she fell asleep with her head resting on my lap. I wasn’t sure if I should stay or go, but my decision was made for me when she started mumbling the name ‘Eddie’ in her sleep. I softly lifted her head and rested it on the couch cushion before turning her CD player off and leaving her apartment.

I stayed in my car that night, in the car park of her apartment complex. I left at around 11 when I woke up and headed back to my apartment. I knew what I had to do today and I needed the phone in the apartment to do it.