Hey Dude! I'm Not Your CRAZY FAN!?

~OH, to know who the DBSK is, (it’s important to know for the story)
Just look at the layout image; that’s them, okay?
(A.K.A. TVXQ, THSK)
From left to right: U-Know, Xiah, Hero, Max, Mickey
(hehehe, I did me some research so I got the names down…)

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"KYAAAAAAA~!"

My ears twitched in pain and my eyes snapped opened with a start. The sudden bright light blinded me, making me even more irritated.
"What is that noise?" I thought, clapping my hands against my cheeks to wake myself up.
I stood up, feeling achy and noticed the sound was still going.

"ORA!" I barked, pissed.

Immediately, the screaming stopped...
"Oh-my-GWAD! We're here!" a girl shrieked.
"Why are you screaming?" I demanded.

The girl was bouncing anxiously, too obnoxious and hyper for my liking. "They're here! Right in this HOTEL!" she shrieked, her voice becoming pinched on the last word of the sentence.
"Who? And why does it matter?" I demanded, growing tired. But the girl didn't answer, still skipping around in a nervous fit.
"COME ON, THIS WAY!" she screamed, and grabbed hold of my shoulder. I was yanked off my feet and flung in the air, colors blurred as the girl sped forward, taking me with her...

I landed on a blue-ish-green carpet, face first. Groaning and aching even more, I dragged myself onto my feet.
"What the--" I started, and found myself in a hotel hallway.
"This is it." the girl, that crazy lunatic said, not screaming the words for once.
"What is what?" I asked, irritated.
"Behind this door lies... DBSK!" she screamed.
My jaws dropped open.
"Are you insane? There's no way 'DBSK' is behind that door, just cuz you say so. This is stupid!"
"No, they're here," the girl said, determined.
"How would you know?" I interjected.
"I can smell them..." She said and then she gasped.

With that, she dropped to the floor, her face buried in the carpet. I crossed my arms and leaned back, a bit too embarrassed to be seen with this girl.
"You smell them? Do you realize how crazy and creepy you sound? This is ridiculous... and GET UP!" I growled, attempting to pull her up.
The girl kicked me away, caressing the carpet lovingly.
"This is where they walked.... I shall cherish you forever~!" she gasped, talking to the carpeted ground.
I reached down, took hold of the girl by the back of her neck and yanked her to her feet.
"Get. A. Grip." I snarled, spitting each syllable.
The girl was still dazed, looking completely blissed out, I dropped her on her feet and went to turn away.
"Wait!" The girl cried, and launched herself on to my back.
"What?" I said exasperated.
The girl jumped off of my back and looked nervously at the door.
"YOU knock on it." she hissed glancing back and forth.
"No way, I'm not disturbing a peacefully kind old man or whoever it may be, just cuz you think DBSK is staying in this room." I said flatly.

"Please?"
"No."
"Pretty please?"
"Hell no."

The girl pouted childishly, fuming
"Fine," she said, stepping a few wide strides from the door.
I sighed, already too tired.
"Good now let's-"

"BREAK DOWN THE DOOR!" the girl bellowed and charged head first into the door.

CRASH!

"Damn it, what are you doing?!" I yelled, stepping after her.
The girl was on her knees, crawling away a crazy speed.
"NO! Get back here! Do you realize the amount of trouble---"

I stopped as I stepped out of the small corridor of the hotel suite…

The girl passed out on the floor, in a pool of her own blood... from her nose bleed. Worried, I rushed forward and touched her shoulder.

"She should be fine; she just caught me out of the shower," a male voice said.

I froze and looked up to see a pair of bare feet under a pair of white sweat pants... and a shirtless figure of U-know. His hair was wet and he had a towel loosely hanging from his neck. He looked very nonchalant at the fact that there was a girl bleeding profusedly on the floor from her nose. I looked down at her, not knowing what else to do. I flipped her onto her back to see the damage.
She looked absolutely pleased with herself, even in her unconscious state.
And it pissed me off for some reason.

"Sorry for the intrusion," I muttered as I lifted the girl up and hoisted her weight against my side.

I turned to drag the girl out.... and froze.

Mickey was by the door, looking at the hinges for any damage. Seemingly satisfied, he stood up and closed the door.
"Ah... wait, we're leaving now..." I sentence trailed off.
"Oi, you're gonna have to do better than that," another male voice said,

I turned to see that the girl had regained her consciousness and was clinging on to Hero for her dear life. Apparently, she had recovered from her blood loss. Hero looked a bit annoyed and unnerved as he tried to pry away from the girl's death grip.
"Help," he grunted.
Mickey went to go assist his friend.
"I think you need a better grip on her," he told me as he walked by.

He took hold of the girl's shoulder. She let out a shriek and let go of Hero, allowing him to fall to the ground with a heavy thud. The girl spun around fast and took a death grip hold on Mickey. He stumbled back at her assault. He looked down at her and back at Hero, who looked kinda confused. Mickey shrugged, and patted the girl on the head. She squealed happily.

I was dazed and very uncomfortable. I just wanted to get out of the room before I got in trouble. I turned an accusing glare at the girl.
"I thought you were passed out," I said.
The girl shrugged.
"I was going for the graceful damsel-in-distress, but it didn’t work." she said.
I felt my face twitch in annoyance.
“YOU’RE the one causing all the distress!” I spat through gritted teeth.

"Hey guys wanna go play soccer?" a voice came.
Everyone turned to see Xiah walk into the crowding room. A surprise look came across his face when he saw the girl and I.
"Are you a crazy fan or a girlfriend?" he asked uneasily.
"I'm BOTH!" the girl squealed.
"I'm neither," I said.
Everyone turned to look at me.
"What do you mean you're 'neither'?" U-know demanded, glaring at the girl clinging onto Mickey.

"Don’t take offense; I'm a fan, but not crazy, or obsessive, for that matter, to pull of a stunt like this," I said, still glaring at the girl.
The girl giggled.
"Yea, she thinks you're very talented and good looking, but she doesn't have a crush on you. She doesn't even fantasize about you guys, in anyway." she piped, smirked evilly at me.
I slowly shook my head at her, discomfort boiling inside me. But the girl went on.
"Maybe she thinks you guys aren't good enough; she does have HIGH standards." she said innocently.

"What?"
"What do you mean?"
"Not good enough?"
"HIGH STANDARDS?"

I backed up slowly, inching slowly to the door- - - - -
…Was she… was she intentionally trying to piss them off???
---at me?! What did I do?!

"Hey , what's up with the noise?" yet another voice drifted into the room.
"Hey Max! Great timing!" U-Know said.
He walked over to where Max was standing by the doorway of the bedroom. He slung his arm over his shoulder as if he was about to say something grave.
"Max, listen. The girl over there doesn't think we fit her standards." he said in a low voice.

“I'm outta here!" I grumbled, wheeling around.
But Hero was there, waiting. He just twisted me right back around.
“What?” Max said, sounding sad and and confused.
“Yea, we’re not good enough,” U-Know added.
“I didn’t say any of that!” I said defensively.
“But it’s true!” the girl squealed.
She skipped away from Mickey and went to stand by U-Know.
“There can’t be any other explanation. She hasn’t dated ever, she never talks about guys, she’s turned down every request for dates and she hasn’t had a crush yet!”

My jaw dropped opened.
How irritating! I mean, it’s nothing to be ashamed of; if all the guys around you were total idiots or just good friends, you couldn’t date any of them either!!
I am going to strangle that crazy, little------

Max spoke up, cutting into my thoughts.
“Huh, maybe she’s…” Max started, but the girl cut in.
“I already thought about what –if-she-was-homo theory. She can’t be, not after an incident in middle school when she totally freaked when---”
“I’m right here, you know!” I yelled.

U-Know turned, dropping his arm from Max’s shoulder.

“You’re right, you are here, aren’t you?” he said slyly.
I swallowed nervously.
“What’s that suppose to mean?” I said, feeling dread.
U-know smirked evilly, his eyes glinted.
“Since you’re here, we don’t have to just talk about why you haven’t fallen for any guy yet…” he said.
I backed up a step.
“I don’t know what you’re getting at,” I said.
Mickey blinked in realization.
“Oh, I see,” he said.
“See what?” I asked panicked.
“Well, we’re here, and you’re here there’s an easier way of going about this,” he mused.
I backed up another step.

Why…oh, why did I feel like I was a prey getting cornered by five extremely tall, intimidating, hungry-looking predators?!

“Why does any of this matter? And why should you guys give a crap about my nonexistent love-life?!” I demanded.
The DBSK group member exchanged glances.
“We’re bored.” They said in unison
I shook my head.
“Forget it, there’s nothing to figure out!” I yelled and dove for the door.

But to my horror, the door was no longer there.

Someone grabbed me by the back of my shirt and pulled. I fell back, landing right into a chair. The light shut off, leaving me in the dark, I turned in my chair, trying to make out any figures in the shadow. Nothing, I turned back around, searching…

A sudden beam of light was beamed right in my face, burning my eyes. I yelped and lifted my hand to shield my eyes. Someone grabbed my hand and slammed it down to the table.
“Ow!!” I yelled, trying to tug my hand back.
But the grip was firm and tight.
“So WHAT is the story?” someone growled at me.
I squinted against the bright light at the speaker. It was U-know.
“What story?” I shot back, swatting away at the light he was shoving into my face.
“Don’t act dumb,” he grouched, pulling me forward towards him. I cringed away from his face that was now only inches away from my own.
“I want the truth,” he hissed,
“Are you crazy? There is no other truth to tell you!” I snapped, pulling on my hand harder.
U-Know smirked all-knowingly.
“You like me,” he said simply.

GAH! Who the hell does he think he is?!
…okay, OKAY!! He’s U-Know, stupid question, carry on!!

“You are out of your mind!!” I snapped.
U-know mused, sounding thoughtful.
“Oh really?” he said.
He pulled himself even closer to me, (YIKES!!) our noses practically touching.
“Then what types of guys do you like?” he whispered, prying.
I stopped my pathetic jerking and tugging for a second, the question catching me off guard. Then I resumed my thrashing against his hold, again without even affecting my captor.
“The type that doesn’t tell me how I feel!” I hissed back. “And why are we whispering?!”
U-Know grinned and yanked on my arm. I went flying forward, squeaking while I was at it, and landed roughly on my back.
“OW!!” I yelled, trying to get back up.
But suddenly, he was hovering right over me, snaring and pinning my frame in a cage of his arms…against the floor.
“Maybe you like to play hard to get, or maybe…” his grin grew wider.
“Maybe you like to play rough.”

“GAH!” I yelled out, panicked.
I managed to slip out from under him, pushing and back-pedaling myself away. U-Know just watched, amused, as I continued to drag myself away from him. Suddenly, my back came in contact with something solid. I looked up behind me and saw Max smiling brightly down at me.
“Maybe you like the naïve-looking, sweet type.” he said.
He leaned down towards me.
A nervous laugh escaped me and I rolled away forward tumble-style. I only got about three feet when someone stepped in my way.
I looked up and saw Mickey staring down at me.
“Or do you like the smart, sensitive ones?” he asked.
I jumped up and ran. I let out a yelp when a soccer ball hit me right in the face, throwing me back on the ground. I snapped back up and turned, to see Xiah stepping around the corner.
“Do you like energetic and playful?” he asked sweetly, smiling.
“Uh-uh,” I shot out, shaking my head frantically.
I twisted back around and saw a door. Without thinking, I charged right at it and fumbled and fought with the doorknob. Mercifully, it was unlocked. I threw the door open, dove into the dark space, and slammed the door shut.
Lock, LOCK!! my mind shrieked and I started groping around the doorknob. I felt the turn key and quickly twisted it.
The key twisted and it slid into the lock with a reassuring click.

Finally…FINALLY!!

With a heavy sigh of relief, I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes.
This was…this was a nightmare… who the hell do they think they are, telling me what kind of guys I like?
…okay, that was another stupid question.
But still! I’m human, and they are too! So that should mean---

“You know, I’m not really great with these games,” a smooth voice murmured, breaking the calm dark silence.
My eyes snapped open, a cold chill running down my spine. I couldn’t see anything in the pitch black, and a sense of dread crept over me. I held my breath, trying to be completely invisible.
Slowly, and tensely, I turned away from where I thought the door was, inching carefully and slowly back. To my relief, my back met a lifeless wall.

“This is strange, isn’t it?” a voice said.

I bristled, and jumped a mile when I felt a warm breath brush against my cheek.
“Who do you like?” Hero asked, his voice calm and soft.
My knees shook, unable to move.
I couldn’t see him, but I heard him. And that thought scared the living crap out of me.
“I don’t like anybody!” I hissed, my voice tight.
“Lies,” Hero hissed back.
“Truth!” I spat back, angry and frustrated.

I jumped another mile when I heard a light thud---right above my head.

“A tight fit, this closet…” he mused.
“This is a CLOSET?!” I half shrieked.
“Well, it’s part of the game,” he said.
“Game,” I echoed, shock and confusion wracking my brain.
I felt Hero lean forward closer to me, so close that his hair brushing against my cheek.
“We still have six minutes left.” he informed me.
“What?!” I choked out.
The wall behind me dissolved and both Hero and I fell. I landed on my back, the air knocked out of my lungs yet again.
“Maybe you like the calm, cool, but protective type.” Hero mused.

He pulled away swiftly, leaving me on the floor. Before I could react, I was swept up from the ground. The lights turned on and I found myself in U-Know’s grip… yet again.
“You wanna know a secret?” he asked, smirking.
“No, not really!” I snapped.
But he leaned closer, ignoring my answer. I cringed, shaking angrily and nervously.
“I like girls, all kinds of girls. But there is one type of girls that really catches my attention.” he said.
I squirmed, uncomfortable at the man’s proximity. He just smirked and whispered right in my ear:
“I like girls that play hard to get…Are you playing that game?”
“NO, I am NOT!” I yelled, freeing myself and jumping away.

Suddenly, everything went black.
“What type of girl are you?” five voices asked.

The question echoed in the dark unanswered.