Check Yes or No...

I was still sitting in the window seat looking out at the grass. I watched silently, the moon light kissing the blades of grass so elegantly, lightly brushing each one as if saying good night.

I heard the wind twisting and circling, I saw the trees bend and sway trying to keep up with the irrational beat. Everything seemed in tune and at peace. Nothing out of place, nothing out of the normal.

Paul was lying on my bed; I could faintly make out his snoring. I couldn’t sleep, but I didn’t want to ruin his sleep. I moved my head so I was looking at him now. His face held an angelic expression, he looked completely at ease.

His hair had started to grow and I actually like it. It reached his cheek bone area, but at the moment it was sprayed across his head in a crazy manor.

I gazed at the rising and falling of his chest, it seemed to be in perfect time with the swirling wind. He turned suddenly and his arm went right to where my body had been before. I saw the initial shock in his features as he snapped awake.

“Em?” He whispered his voice filled with sleep.

“Right here.” I spoke softly hoping he would just drift off to sleep.

“Come back to bed, I need you here.” He mumbled opening his eyes to look for me.

I retreated from the window and crawled into my bed. I snuggled into his arms and laid my cheek on his chest.

“Much better.” He muttered to himself as he wrapped his arms around me, securely placing his hands on my back.

“I know this isn’t a good time… but I’m ready Paul.” I blurted after a few seconds of silence, I was really hoping that he was awake this time.

“WHAT???” he nearly yelled jumping up.
I took a second and realized what I had said…. OHHH

“No Paul, I’m ready to tell you about my father.”

I saw his features relax and he moved so he was next to me again.

“That’s good I have to say I may not be a virgin but I know I’m not ready to be with you, there’s just so much going on right now.” Hesitation hinted in his voice as he broke off.

“Neither am I, don’t worry, but I know I should tell you about him.”

“I need to tell you about me first.” He sighed running his fingers through his hair.

“Emmry, I’m not proud, I’ve done things, things that I wish I hadn’t ever since I meet you.”
His face looked torn, he knew he had to tell me but he just couldn’t put it to words.

“Paul….” I started but he interrupted me.

“No I have to tell you this. For the past three years, all I’ve done is sleep around, having
stupid, meaningless sex. I am not worthy of your innocence it makes me feel terrible. I feel like I’m not right for you. Every day I wonder how I could have gotten someone so perfect. You are everything I never had in those girl, Emmry.” He broke off, but I didn’t say anything,

I could practically see the words on his tongue.

“My father left when I was fourteen; four years ago… he left after attacking someone. We never found out who it was, he ran in covered in blood screaming. We called the chief and they told him to leave. He was hurting his own people, the people he was meant to protect. Emmry, I think my father was the one who attacked you that day. In wolf form, I’m like my father silver, but he is dark and I am light, ironic right? After he left I changed, he was never really a father. He was just like Sam's I mean your dad. I decided that I had to get out of the house and be the man, at the time having sex seemed like the only way I could be the man I know I needed to be. It gave me dominance and it made me feel strong. Now I'm a wolf with the most amazing girl in the world, and I'm afraid of breaking you, its like you're glass.” he finished trying to make me smile.

“Paul….” I couldn’t think of what to say. I love Paul, and nothing I mean nothing could destroy that. Okay so maybe it was his father, but it wasn’t Paul’s fault. I know better than anyone that a parent’s mistake is not a reflection on their child; neither does the child in anyway an exact replica of said parent.

“Don’t hate me Em, I love you.” He whispered broken.

“Didn’t I tell you earlier that nothing you could do would ever make me hate you, Paul Reece you’re stuck with me for life, I hope you get use to it?” I smiled brushing the hair out of his eyes that lighted up the second I finished talking.

“Thank you.” He repeated over and over again, as he wrapped me up in his arms and kissed my face.

We stayed like that for a little while, and I completely forgot about my father. I guess what Paul had to say was more important seeing as he was so upset about it.

I slowly drifted off to sleep with the thought of when exactly would I tell Paul, tomorrow I had to go to school, and that doesn’t seem like the best time. I remember Paul tightening his arms around me and kissing my neck before I fell into dream land.