Does Your Lack of Conscience Tell You Everything's Alright?

Rape victim or not, I still have hormones; they've just been on strike for awhile. And seeing Alex, the object of my desire, standing at the stove with no shirt on is making them go insane.

I'm not used to this, to wanting to touch someone. That's the exact opposite of what I've wanted for the past nine years. Have I changed that much in my short time of knowing Alex?

Or maybe I'm not used to being untouched for so long.

It hasn't even been a full day since Jeffery's hands have been on me. Yet this is the longest I've ever gone without those hands.

August stumbles into the room, hair tangled and still in pajamas. Jack follows after her, looking equally exhausted. Alex looks at them. Something in his eyes changes.

Is he irritated?

"Why do you have sex hair?" he asks, voice deadpan.

"The better question, Alex, is why don't you have sex hair," his sister retaliates.

He drops his spatula, mouth agape. August smirks in triumph.

"Excuse me?" Alex asks.

"I want nieces and nephews. Lots of nieces and nephews. You and Alice should get started now."

I'm not quite sure how I should react to that.

"Don't make me beat you with a spatula," Alex says.

My eyes go wide; my mind wanders. I can hear August laugh but I can't pull myself from the image in my head.

The one of Jeffery beating me because I burnt a pancake on accident.

He said I was trying to poison him.

He took the spatula and hit me across the face. Then took the pan I was using to knock me to the floor.

And he kept hitting me.

Again and again, he bashed my body with that pan. He wanted to teach me a lesson for being a bad girl. But I wasn't trying to poison him. It was an accident. I didn't mean to burn anything. The pancake was stuck to the pan; it wouldn't come off.

I had to clean my blood from the floor when he was done.

"Alice, he didn't mean that," Jack rushes to say.

Within seconds of Jack's statement, Alex is by my side. His hand rests on my back.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

I shake my head.

I'm not okay and I'm not going to lie to him.

He doesn't deserve to be lied to. He's been nothing but kind to me.

So what if he made a statement that made me think of Jeffery? It wasn't his intention to remind me of that asshole.

"I didn't really mean it. I'm not going to hit anyone. Well maybe Jack but that's for stress relief," Alex explains.

"I take offence to that and so do my leprechaun friends," Jack says.

"So they did come to claim you?" August mumbles.

Alex ignores them, "What are you thinking about?"

"Jeffery," I whimper.

"Am I like him?" Alex asks.

He sounds offended. But he couldn't possibly think he's like Jeffery. He could never be like Jeffery.

I shake my head.

"Then what is it?"

"Jeffery hit me with a spatula and frying pan," I say.

That sounds stupid. Metal spatulas hurt like crazy on a cheek though.

"Jack, I think we need to pay the prison a little visit."

"Is operation 'beat the shit out of Jeffery' in motion?" asks Jack, clapping his hands and hopping up and down.

"Don't do that," I say.

As much as I hate Jeffery, I don't want Alex to leave.

I'm being selfish, I know. I should have been selfish a long time ago and left Jeffery. But no, I was worried about my parents, who were dead. You can't keep a dead person from being murdered.

"Why not?" Alex asks.

"Because," I start. "I want you to stay and eat breakfast with me."

"Well that's enough of a reason for me," Alex pulls me into a hug.

The front door opens and shuts.

"Aw, how cute. I really should get a camera," Aaron's voice cuts in.

"Dude, we could make so much money off of this," Jack agrees, "I'm in."

"Would you two shut up?" August asks.

"Never," Jack and Aaron yell at the same time.

"They are so stupid," Alex mumbles into my neck.

I giggle. Against the skin of my neck, I can feel him smiling. He pulls out of the hug.

"Everything is going to be fine," he kisses the tip of my nose.

And, for some reason, my heart won't stop beating quickly.