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Reaching Through Darkness

Indeed, a long trip

Chp 2
Master Mirmo

Many people have told me meditation is a waste of time, a tedious experience that puts them to sleep, but that is because they perform it incorrectly, like my apprentice. If done correctly with careful, constant practice, another thing my apprentice refuses to do, one can achieve universal oneness with the Force. Most people yawn at this point and change the topic to something more interesting like the weather, or the newest fashion trend for hutts. I do not get discouraged by this. I know I am not everyone and I am glad of that. I have always been told how wonderful it must be to always be calm when placed in a testing situation, which my apprentice frequently places me into, such as now.

Do not get the impression that I do not care, I deeply care that is, for Karen. She truly was an amazing student when she wanted to and cleverer, fastest learner when she fancied, probably one of the strongest people that I have ever known, ranking close to Master Skywalker, but she does severely push my limits from time to time. I love her like a father loves a daughter, and I feverishly hope I have treated her far better than her father did. The memories she shared with me only days ago had caused me unpleasant dreams, and I can not understand how she manages to hold back her screams at night. She claimed during the council meeting that she no longer had nightmares, but from the experiences that I had been suffering from, I had to wonder if that was not said for saving face.

I had hope this voyage would provide both of us an opportunity to get to know each other and resolve the uncertain and strained feeling between us. There was also the hope that this trip would teach her things that a classroom could not, but she was focusing on the less positive aspects of travel and was making the worse of it. I had hoped during the time spent traveling, we could talk, but so far we have only said the bare minimum. As the master, one would assume it was my responsibility to initiate the conversation. Because Karen was the one that left me with no note or idea of where she was or why she left, or if she needed me, I felt it was up to her to start the conversation. She seemed to radiate a feeling of very tense confusion and she was withdrawn, perhaps hurt by the lack of communication between us.

This is why I was sitting in front of the blinking green and red console, eyes closed, mind empty being one with the galaxy, searching for the a deeper truth of life and Force. I had nearly reached the desired state of mind for the meditation when I noticed something in the small room. Mentally, I pulled out of this state and called upon the Force to search for the cause of the interruption with my eyes still closed. The life energy that gave all Jedi their endless power hinted to me it was my restless apprentice squirming again in her seat. My plan to spend the trip peacefully meditating the time away had a few holes. I held a sigh and opened my eyes. One amazing talent she had was being able to ignore my glaze for a full five minutes. When she stopped pretending that she had not noticed me, I asked her if something was wrong.

“Oh. Um no, nothing is wrong.”

I nodded at her startled voice and went back to my meditation. I breathed slowing, felling blessed peace clear my mind and soul. My conscious left the ship, extended to the fringes of the galactic arms, through space, coldness, and the warmth of trillions of lives. I was with the stars, gases, light, and rock that made up the universe. I was with the almighty Force. I was one with the universe for about ten minutes before I sensed some movement very close to me. I let out another sigh of frustration. It looked like my apprentice was not going to let me meditate. This was going to be longest trip I had ever taken.

I opened my eyes and stared hard at Karen. She became responsive of my attention placed on her soon enough and blushed. I took a deep breath, held it, and released the anger I felt towards her out of my system. With a calm, controlled voice of someone I hoped sounded wise and all knowing, I suggested that she try meditation. The glaring look on her face told me I suggested something along the lines of watching paint dry on a wall. This would not do. I knew all too well she was not fond of meditation, but her response was becoming a trained one and not one of a future knight. Most of the time her behavior was excusable on the grounds she had a rough life or did not know better, except this time was not most of the time.

Her frown is what promoted a long lecture from me. I patiently explained to her we still had another day of travel ahead of us and she knew as much as I did what could be done in the small space the ship provided. I would not let her sleep the entire time like she had done coming to the temple. One can only eat so much and we did not have unlimited protein bars, I noticed she had come to the quick conclusion by the expression on her face that everyone makes about them. I offered to have a stretching session if she was suffering from cramped muscles, but she refused. I offer to teach her some history of the planet, but she declined that as well. We could go over the map of the galaxy or show her how to go into hyperspace, but none of that appealed to her. I grew impatient with her lack of trying to find something for her to do. I turned back to reasoning the practice of meditation. If her mind could not keep her entertained with daydreaming and the hyper thoughts that bounced around in her head like a child that has had too much sugar, then she could work on conditioning her mind to something more useful and focused.

Karen did not say anything and did not have to. The look on her face told me of many silent curses being directed at me. I ignored this and kept up my holier then thou expression to remind her she was a Jedi and I would not put up with less. She did not sigh, growl, or even glare, but gave in by closing her eyes and slightly opened her mouth to start controlled breathing. I waited for two minutes, carefully watching for signs of a show and was satisfied.

I did not take her to become her baby sitter or entertainer, but to help her and to teach her the ways of a path she so dearly wanted. My part was being done to the best of my ability. It was up to the student to put forth the effort and I as the teacher should not be made to lecture her every other day about her responsibility. I breathed in and breathed out. My mind wondered through the galaxy, traveling to places I had never heard of, found and learned many truths, but in the end, I came back to the thought I started with: my beloved apprentice.