‹ Prequel: The Hidden Truth
Sequel: A Last Good Bye

Reaching Through Darkness

Giving Birth

Ch 41

“Ok, Karen, I think it is time to start pushing. I am going to need a nice long push from you. Breathe deeply and on a count of three. One…two…”

I screamed. I pushed. I screamed loudly and I pushed hard. I screamed in this pitched, stretched way that I am sure that made my master, Mirmo close his eyes. I was tired. I had so far spent eight hours throwing up, doubling over in pain, and moaning every five minutes. My body was soaked in stinking, unbearable hot sweat. I was already sick of this birthing stuff, but I was even sicker of being pregnant. Nine months had been a long time and I was tired of it all.

“That was good. You can rest for a minute or so, but get ready to push again.”

I looked at Mirmo, who was equally tired, sweating, and careworn. His face needed shaving and there were dark circle under his eyes. He looked like he might befit more from a shower than I would. This wasn’t even his baby and he had been with me from the moment my water broke, holding my hand while telling how strong I was. He ignored my many curses and stared me down until I complied with the Jedi healer. In fact, he had been through a lot with me since we defeated the so called sith.

“Alright, it looks like another contraction is starting. Start pushing. Remember to breathe.”

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes as my brain exploded in unbearable pain. I wanted to cry out from the lower half of my body being wreaked in pain, but I would lose my breath. Instead, I focused on all the events that had lead up to this awful moment in my life since the sith had been killed.

Once I had recovered from my wounds and the effort of the battle enough for the medic, who came in daily at Mirmo’s request, Master Skywalker, Mirmo, and I set back to the temple. It was good to come back to a place I knew so much more about and pretty much called home. The planet that I was born and raised from was still home in some strange sense, but my birth planet was not a place I would come to visit again.

When I got back to the temple I found there were many things to do. I was forced by my master to see the healer as many times necessary. Since I was the first pregnant Jedi they ever had to attend to, there was a great amount of fuss to be made about my so called condition. They treated me as though I was sick and for the first three months I agreed with them. Morning sickness is far from fun to have and during those months I lost some weight.

I still had training to do during those nine months. I was half glad to find this bit of information out. It turned out being pregnant is not only not fun and hard your body, but also incredibly boring. Nine months is a long time and the more time that goes on, the less one can do. I was first encouraged to exercise like normal, which of course meant running. Yet, as my stomach grew and really every other part of me got fatter, I found it harder and more painful to move. I suffered a lot of backaches and headaches. For my training I learned no new skills, but strengthening old ones. There was a strong empathize on fighting with lightsabers and physical combat. This training was a response to what landed me in this situation. When it got unsafe to fight anymore, I was drilled in theory and how to more structure my mind during and before a fight. I later saw all the mistakes I had made during my capture and at the battle.

Aside from regular check ups, Master Skywalker and Master Mirmo both thought it would be a good idea if I wet through a type of Jedi counseling and mothering lessons. Jedi counseling translated into going through my past and picking up different fears, while also talking about rape. Both of the masters worked hard to easy my fear of men that had newly arisen. I would refuse to allow any male living being touch me and the door to my room remained open if a guy I didn’t know had to come in. A part of me understood no Jedi was going to think about harming me, but a near motherly sense devolved.

Mothering lessons turned out to be a lot of reading about children of all ages. I read all the different theories of how to raise a child and a baby. I argued with Mirmo that I would find out the best way to raise my child in good time, but he would pacify my annoyance by saying it was better that I was at least aware of other methods, even if I didn’t use them. Secretly, I found the whole thing terrifying and unreal. I was no mother. I was young, energetic, and felt my life was being thrown away to something I couldn’t help or want. The reading materials and the healers said this would change when I had the child.

About five months into my pregnancy I made an inquiry to Nea as to what was going on. He reported back that our appearance and actions had done more good than anyone expected. The Dawners had gain official recognition from the senate and I heard even Chancellor Leia had played a hand in this event. The Dawners came to be something like a special police force that dealt in the lawless low levels of the planet. They did handle pity crimes, but bigger problems the public down there wanted solved, but lacked the power to.

The “Boss” as he was named took a strange liking to Minro and I and offered the Jedi Order assistance should they venture to the core. I was a bit weary of the reasons behind this offer, but Master Skywalker accepted it with a warm grace. The Boss also made an effort to reach out to the senate and try to create a better stream of communication. The senate complied, I think because they were embarrassed about the whole deal and how they fell again under the influence of a sith and nearly allowed the government to fall.

It seemed that our mission had been a successful one despite all that had happen me. Even I had come out stronger and smarter.

I gulped air again after a huge push, feeling as though I could push no more. The pain was still bad as ever and I wondered if the kid was ever going to come out.

“Alright, one more push and the head should appear. Come on, I know you can do it.”

“You can do it Karen.”

I gritted my teeth and ignored the last comment made by Mirmo. I pushed and lost my breath half way through the push because of what I felt. I felt the mind of my child. The child was scared and in pain. He or she didn’t like this anymore than I did. It was a slight comfort for all I had gone through. It seemed the baby was coming out on its own because I didn’t hear anyone tell me what to do.

“It’s a boy!”

I heard the child’s first high pitch, yet weak, squawk of a cry. I wasn’t looking though. I ran out of strength and could only lie down on the sweaty pillows and pant.

“Karen, you did it! You have a boy! Well done apprentice!”

I barely heard this as I was engulfed by the baby’s presence. I looked up to see failing tiny pink limbs in someone’s arms and being carried to my lap. The baby was still crying with his eyes shut. I cuddled the small infant to my chest and stared at his blue eyes. I read somewhere all new born eyes were blue and may change over time. I didn’t want his eyes to change, seeing how I always adored blue eyed people. I wasn’t sure if he was the cutest thing I had ever seen, but he was mine and that was enough to make me want him.

“Karen, do you have a name for him?”

I had to rip my eyes off my son and look at Mirmo. I told him I didn’t, but a name would come to me soon. Mirmo nodded and watched me for a long time as I gaze into my dear, new child.