Epic

Gerard’s Point Of View.

Fuck.Fuck.Fuck.Fuck.Fuckity.Fuck.Fuck.Fuck.
Damn.Damn.Damn.Damn.Damn.Damn.Damn.

I’m upset.

Breaking up with Frankie was hell. I can’t even begin to describe the swelling in my heart, the twinkle in my eye, every time I go near Frankie. And now that bliss and love is all over. It’s all Billie’s my fault. I really fuckin’ suck for being such a coward.

I sighed, wallowing in angst for my tragic life and blah blah blah. No, I really didn’t.

I couldn’t stand the hollow feeling in my heart any more so I went to the bar and got hammered.

~*~*~

At about twelve am, I had a good buzz going.

I just kept throwing back some sort of vodka mixture until I felt the familiar, unforgiving, dizzying feeling ebbing away my consciousness.

In the back of my mind, I remembered that Frankie wouldn’t approve.

Well, fuck that.

Frankie hates me, I’m sure. He would never understand.

As I lifted another shot glass to my parted lips, and had shot out and grabbed my wrist.

“Frankie?” I mumbled almost inaudibly, with a spark of hope.

“Come on, Gerard.” came Mikey’s voice. “It’s time to go.”

Of course. My little brother (whom I’ve fucked) has come (no pun intended) to my rescue.

I sighed and stamped my foot like a child.

“No.” I said, whining.

Mikey sighed and took my shot, chugged it down, and paid my tab.

It felt like time slowed to a crawl.

Mikes grabbed my arm and practically dragged me to my room, and throw me down on the bed.

As he walked out, I regretted ever going to the bar because he shook his head and had a look of pity, disgust, and disappointment all rolled into one.

Only Mikey could pull that off.

~*~

I awoke the next morning with a new ton of regrets and shame and a killer hangover.
I sat up, slowly, in my bed and sighed.

I seem to be doing that a lot lately.

Look at me.

I’m a disaster.

I fucked my little brother.

Got blackmailed by my ‘friend’.

Broke up with my one true love.

And my pride and dignity has been lost.

I wish I still had Frankie. We were only together for like, a day, but we’ve been friends for years. I wish that when I broke up with him, my eyes willed him to understand. To bad his eyes were blurred with tears.

God, I’m an asshole.