A Recipe For Disaster

It's been a while now. Okay maybe like two or three days, kind of. The days get long, and you lose track of time when you're almost on the brink of insanity. I mean, Alexander usually drove me up the wall, but Alexander and Holly together put the mental in mentally insane.

Alexander was all: "Holly this, Holly that; oh look at me, I'm Alexander and Holly likes me better than Audrina!" while Holly was all cute and adorable to Alexander, indifferent to Felix and possible scared of me. Well that's how I saw her through my eyes. Yeah, we’re not the best of friends; hardly friends—but honestly? Of all people to befriend in our little gang of cast away from home slash sent half way across the globe; a bit too happy-gay¬-lucky, and a completely lost stranger; it had to be Alexander? What is wrong with her? And damn, we make a fucking awesomely retarded bunch of supposedly 'legal' adults.

Don't even remind me about that fucking kiss we shared; as far as I'm concerned, Alexander's forgotten all about it. That son of a—

"Alexander," Holly spoke shyly as we sat spread around the kitchen eating brunch. I love brunch but Alexander and Holly were just making me lose my appetite by the fucking second.

"Yeah, Hol?" He asked and they moved away to chitchat as I gagged. Hol? He gave her a nickname—Hole?! Oh my fucking fuck, someone kill me now so I don't have to put up with this sappy shit.

"Hey, aren't you meant to jealous?" Felix whispered as he sat down next to me and I shrugged with an ugly scowl at Alexander.

"No way, why should I be? Alexander can play around all he wants, I really don't care for that guy with AIDS," I coughed loudly and glanced at Holly and Alexander who stopped chatting momentarily, looked at me strangely and resumed their conversation.

"Hah, could've fooled me," he grinned toothily and gestured to the chattering two, Holly's hand was over Alexander's and she was laughing at something he said. As the kitchen was wide, you'd see Alexander and Holly chatting—more like flirting?—like ol' times pals on the far side, and Felix and I over here being awkward misfits. Cause we're awesome like that.

"Sure you're not j—"

"I am not jealous!" I seethed and he looked at me with a smug expression.

"What? I was about to say, sure you're not just constipated," he corrected and started to snicker at my expression of total I've-had-enough-of-your-shit.

"Hmph. I'm leaving," I finally decided and shot up form my chair. In my peripheral I saw Alexander's gaze following me intently as I sauntered out of the kitchen and upstairs to pee.

Pulling down my top a little I touched the purple-yellow bruise mark that was hardly going to heal soon, and frowned. It was a good thing Alexander hadn't seen it the morning after he was drunk; I didn't want to hear his empty, meaningless apologies full of I'm sorry now but I'll probably forget all about it in thirty seconds, give or take.

Shrugging on my cardigan and grabbing Alexander's keys, I was ready for a whooping great time of Audrina Time. It's where I wallow in self pity. I've got a massive puddle full of it.

"Hey, where are you going?" Alexander's voice rang out and I mentally thought, away from you, dickwad.

"None of your beeswax," I sneered and I marched out of the doors and walked the length of the drive way; back straight and eyes forward—I was a girl with no purpose. Yeah, that will suffice.

I was walking along a familiar street for a while until I realized it was the street I first saw the girl and when I first confronted her. How long ago was that?

"Audrina?" A surprised voice spoke as a hand grabbed my shoulder. First thought was to bring out the ninja in me and kick some stranger ass, but as I turned around, my own voice came out surprised; after all I was.

"Jared?" I wheezed weakly, trying to smile but failing. We left on a bad note before and never spoke...until now. "Um, hi..."

He gave me a weak smile in return and scratched the back of his head; probably thinking that he should not have bothered calling me out.

"I'm so sorry about...what happened last time. I swear there's an explanation but I'm not sure if you'd be willing to hear me out. Just, please..." he gulped and I thought it over, once, then twice. Alexander was getting a little too friendly with Holly and I really had nothing else to do. Plus, I actually wanted to be friends with this guy; save for what happened last time, he was nice.

"Okay," I nodded and his shoulder visibly relaxed as he sighed relieved.

"First off, do you want to go get a coffee instead of wandering around the neighbourhood?" He asked with a soft, nervous chuckle and I smiled.

"That would be great."

After we purchased our coffee—well I was only in the mood for hot chocolate—Jared began to explain as we sat in his car, in front of the coffee house. And explain he did; very slowly.

"Do you...remember me?" He randomly started off and I raised a brow at him.

"What? Yeah, of course. Several days ago I met you at a restaurant, chatted you up at the bar, we drove to my place and...it all went down hill," I had the urge to laugh but I gave him a serious grin. "Why do you ask?"

"No, uh, you see...the reason is... we used to go to high school together," he blurted out. The new piece of information took me way by surprise and I tipped my hot chocolate just a tad bit as I perked up in the seat; causing a slight burning sensation to trickle down my hand.

"Whoa! You alright?" He panicked and rummaged around for tissues as I tried to process and accept his words.

"Here, here!" He thrust a tissue box in front of me and pulled out a few, handing them to me hastily.

"Don't worry about it," I shakily laughed it off and accepted the tissues, wiping the trail of drink away as I resumed thought.

"No...we didn't...?" I more questioned than answered, but he nodded solemnly.

"Jared Grayson; come on, you have to remember? Lanky, white guy receiving the mother of all wedgies in eighth grade?"

I couldn't help but let my laugh echo enormously around the car, bouncing off the windows, hitting the ears of Jared who winced at my reaction; hilarious! I do remember now!

"I'm sorry... you were....but...haha! In high school you were such...a dork!" I snorted and he gave me a grave look, only to burst out laughing along with me. We can be insensitive together.

"Yeah, yeah laugh it up, but I just couldn't understand why I had to follow 'trend' when everyone felt that they had to belong to a clique or they just had to be known for their academics or athletic ability; or even their hair! It was ridiculous! Even more so that it was a rich private school. I could just imagine public schools ten times worse; I hated high school..." he muttered darkly and I concealed any more bursts of laughter within and gave him an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry for things back then—"

"—but you couldn't do anything, so why are you sorry?" He questioned and I shrugged.

"Maybe if I'd befriended you..." I started but he shook his head gently.

"It's not your fault that you didn't befriend me; I wasn't really into friends actually. It was study this, study that; homework all night, no girls, no parties, no social life for Jared Grayson. I feel like it's high school all over again but it's worse; we're in the big world now..."

My heart pained for Jared and I reached my hand across to squeeze his in reassurance. And what did he mean high school all over again? A gorgeous smile flashed across his face but immediately crumbled to sadness, depression and an expression that told me something's about to be revealed that I may not like.

"Do...do you remember when I went away, just before graduation? I had to...I had to leave," he coughed and I thought back, attempting a difficult memory scan of school before graduation time. I remembered someone wasn't there. I remember the teachers whispering something of 'how tragic; he almost made it' and then I remembered a girl with dark, long hair crying so much she had to be led away. Everything was vague and so unclear I couldn't possibly bother to dwell on it. "Yeah, I might remember, very vaguely though."

"It was a sort of run away slash going away type 'away' thing," he started to tell me and I was already almost confused.

"Remember the night we met again, and you invited me to your place?" He asked quickly and I could see the small drops of sweat form on his forehead. He must be having a really hard time trying to tell me whatever he's planning to tell me. But I gave him I look that said I did not want to go down memory lane to that point in time. He called me a bitch, I thought he was a douche. Not exactly on good terms...

"Um...yeah..." I grumbled, of course I haven't forgotten! Weren't we talking about this before?

"Well, again, I am so very sorry that happened. You see... the confidential matter my parents and I were arguing about was... well, it's about the health of my brain," he confessed and it took me just a matter of seconds before I completely comprehended what he meant.

"Health...of your brain...?" I wondered aloud and looked to him for hints; but he looked frightened and reluctant. "Jared, just say what you have to say..."

"I...I was involved in an accident," he breathed out. The flashback of a newspaper article; I vaguely started seeing the big picture now. "Three years ago, just before graduation, I was hit by a car and severely injured; critical damage to my brain and I almost died. I was in a coma for months on, but my parents' money didn't waste so I was still on life support. To September of last year they continued monitoring my progress and such, and I finally...I finally recovered from a coma and my parents' spontaneous decision to move to Australia came about since the catch is...I have amnesia. My parents were so fussy and so afraid; I didn't exactly remember them when I woke up. The doctor suggested to stay in America because my memories may come back faster and better if I were in familiar places, but my parents didn't want that for me since I didn't graduate, I didn't have any friends anyway and my parents were ashamed. Memories have been coming back but only bits and pieces of my life. Now my parents are so protective over everywhere I go, what I do, the people I meet; sometimes the pressures too much. I don't remember much, but I do remember you. I've a small memory of seeing you a few weeks shy of graduation; you were with some other guy, I don’t know his name. When...when I parted on that bad note last time we saw each other, I was angry because my parents had told me to come straight back home, since we left without notification and I was just...already so overwhelmed with the fact that I'd been blacked out for most of those two years; thin and weak... I'm trying to get my life back together, please Audrina, please don't hate me."

By this point, Jared was sobbing softly and I tears were sliding down my cheeks as well. I think I have fucking problems with an arranged marriage and Jared is experiencing the worst possible thing.

"Jared...that's extremely overwhelming... and I'm sorry," I reached out and squeezed his hand. "But I don't hate you."

He sobbed into the crook of my neck as I held him.

"I just...I'm so confused. My parents are always keeping an eye on me and I don't like it. It's too much attention, even if I am supposed to be monitored for progress. They think one day I'll wake up with all memories back and be the good son they love, but that's not going to happen; not for a while. I need escape, Audrina. I'm a nineteen year old guy and I want freedom," he breathed and I rubbed his back as he expressed his no longer suppressed emotions.

"Hey? You okay?" I murmured into his hair a while late; the sky darkened over head as the sun set yonder west. Jared groggily opened one eye and leaned back, stretching with an adorable yawn. The first time I gazed at Jared—well last time we saw each other—I saw an extremely attractive guy with no flaws—save for what happened on that parting note—but now as I really looked at him, I saw a guy who was unhappy and really needed freedom. His tousled hair stuck up in one direction as he leaned on the chair; under his eyes were dark circles and his eyes drooped with weariness and sadness. He was beautiful, this guy who is going through hell. Why was I ever so blind?

Rubbing my thumb across his cheek affectionately I almost forgot my problems as I leaned in a kissed his forehead.

"You have me Jared, always remember that," I whispered and his hand clasped around mine in a thank you squeeze.

"I should be the one asking if you're okay. I unloaded all this on you—"

"Hey don't even say that. I'm grateful that we're past what happened before. I know this is harder for you to tell me than it is for me to accept. I accept you Jared, and I'll be with you through it," I smiled and I thought he may cry again had it not been for the spirited smile he returned.

"I guess we should get back. I told my parents I'd be going out but I think they wouldn't accept my being out for too long."

The whole way back we shared sweet glances back and forth until we came onto a familiar street.

"Hey, wait, you live in this street?!" I asked with transparent surprise and he laughed.

"Hey, you only live a street away, if I remember correctly. I didn't say anything when we were driving before...sorry," he apologized but I shook my head. He also failed to tell me he lived at this particular grand house.

"Oh my..." I gasped as Jared laugh unsure of what I was exactly thinking. This was the house that the girl...this was.... How the hell could I not piece it together before?! Holly somehow knew Jared! And she said she was looking for...she was looking for Jared?!

"You have to come with me!" I sharply gasped and shoved him in the passenger seat of his car and sped to my place, arriving short of three minutes.

"Audrina?! What's going on?" Jared questioned fiercely as I jumped out of his car and ran to the front door, him only seconds behind me.

"Holly?" I called out loudly, eager to reveal Jared—the one she'd been looking for—only to round the corner into the lounge room to see Holly's mouth on Alexander's.

"What..." I couldn't finish my sentence as Alexander pulled away, his jaw hanging and eyes wide in panic.

Before either of the two guilty, lying, fucking pricks, bitchy, motherfucking douches could say anything I bolted back to the car, bumping shoulders with Jared as I pushed past him.

"Jared?!" I heard Holly gasp but then Jared was already in the car and milliseconds later he fired the engine, igniting the ignition as we sped out of the drive way, leaving behind a lying detestable bitch plus that ungrateful whore Holly. We drove for long, it was already dark anyway. All the way to our unknown destination we both were sitting stiffly silent as finally Jared pulled up beside a hotel.

I wasn't even sad, or even crying. Why would I cry over that? I'm just pissed. Pissed that Alexander actually had the nerve to do...that...

"You okay?" He softly asked, both his hands holding my own as I hung my head low.

"Y-yeah...um..." my voice cracked and I knew that I did feel hurt after seeing those two whores kissing. It was just kissing...it's not like they were...oh god.

"You've got me too," Jared reassured and I nodded weakly. "Audrina... I would never hurt you, just say yes..." he murmured, his breath hit my cheek as the tears started to leak involuntarily.

"I'm sorry, no, I can't. Jared...I'll just be worse than him," I sighed and simply leaned into his shoulder as he held me just like that.

Why were things turning out like this?