After Snow

Months passed, everything went by too fast. Lia’s stomach grew bigger, she would be having the baby soon, but her disease grew worse. I could feel my heart slowly breaking, seeing her not being able to do what she used to, but it was an afternoon while I went to the rehabilitation room that I realized I wasn’t the only one suffering.

I opened the room to the room where Lia would be doing exercises to slow the disease down. Lia stood in the middle of the room, hugging her stomach tightly. Slowly, a quiet melody filled the room. Lia looked up with an unreadable expression and she began to pace around the room. Before I knew it, she was gracefully lifting her legs. Dancing. But as she was beginning to spin, the leg supporting her weight jerked and she tripped. I reacted immediately, but she caught herself on time before falling. I restrained myself from going over there to tell her to stop. She shook her legs and her hands, taking even breaths.

She delicately lifted her right arm and stretched it before her, her right hand was extended at her side. She pointed her right foot before slowly placing it flat on the floor. She moved her left foot back and bended her knees slightly. She slightly pushed herself off the marble floor and brought her hands together in front of her. She spun around once, but her weak knees gave out and before I could do anything, she was on the floor.

“ Lia!” I worriedly shouted. She didn’t look up, neither flinched at the sound of my deep voice.

I kneeled beside her, and tried to help her up. She slowly pulled away from me, and panic grew on her face.

“I can’t dance,” She quietly whispered.

“What?” I asked confused.

“I.. I can’t dance,”

“Of course you can’t, you’re pregnant,” I chuckled, trying to break the tension.

“I can’t do ballet, I.. I can’t dance,” Lia look frantically at the floor. I rubbed her back, and she gasped. Her head snapped towards me and surprise was clear on her face. It was as if she didn’t know I was here.

“Are you alright?” I asked worriedly. Seeing her like this, so powerless was something it made me feel uneasy.

“Y-Yeah.. I’m ok. I’m sorry,” She smiled, her eyes flashed doubt and fear. She closed her eyes and slowly opened them. Giving me a shy smile, she leaned in and for the first time since we’ve been together, she kissed me. I kneeled there shocked for a moment, not knowing what to do. But my senses kicked in soon enough and I kissed her back. Just when I was getting into the kiss, Lia groaned. Not a aroused groan, but a pained one. I pulled away, and Lia leaned forward hugging her stomach tightly, her face scrunched up in agony.

“L-Lia?!” I shouted afraid of what was happening to her. She answered with another groan.

“HELP!” I shouted, not wanting to leave her side.

“What happened?!” Lia’s doctor, Dr. Michael, came in rushing, with a whole medical team behind him.

“I-I just saw her dancing, and she was spinning, and her knees, and she.. And she just feel, and, and.. and she got hurt, and the baby..” I barely managed to reply.

“Alright, lets get her to the emergency room,” the doctor shouted.

“Is she gonna be ok?” I whispered. Dr Michael stopped for a second.

“No promises,” Was all he said.

As we rushed to the emergency room, Lia tried to muffle her groans by coughing.

“Don’t hurt yourself. It’s ok, it’ll be fine. Don’t worry,” I told her, trying to convince her.

“I love you,” She replied, words barely above a whisper. Looking at me, taking in every detail. Making sure she would remember everything.

“Don’t look at me, just.. Concentrate, yes, concentrate on being strong,” I repeated, over and over. But she never took her eyes off me. Above our loud silence, you could hear the doctors and nurses discussing her state. None of if, I couldn’t pick up any of it.

Thoughts rushed through my mind as we ran into the emergency door.

“May I stay?” I asked, even though I wasn’t leaving. Not now.
Dr. Michael looked at me sadly, which angered me. “Sure.”

“She’s not dying,” My voice shook.

“I never said she was,” He replied, turning around and getting ready.

I put some rubber gloves, a blue scrub, and a surgical mask, provided by one of the nurses.

“Alright, we’re ready,” Dr Michael announced, and they crowded around Lia.

“Lia, we need your consent to preform a c-section,” Dr. Michael softly told her.

“N-No... I want.. a... natural... child birth, p-please..” She panted.

“Your body isn’t strong enough, Lia. A c-section is the best thing for you,”

“No,” Was all she could say.

Dr Michael looked at me, hoping I would change her mind.

“Lia, this is the best thing for you and the baby. I think we should go through with it,” I softly caressed her forehead.

“I-I’m sorry, no.. No.. No c-c-section..” She whispered, and groaned.

“You don’t have the strength,” I told her quietly.

“Do-Do too,” She answered and started pushing. The decision was made, and the medical team started working.

“Push, Lia. One, two, three, push,” Mr Michael calmly told her over and over again. Lia pushed and she screamed out in pain. I took a hold of her hand, and whispered to her reassuring words.

“You can do it,” I whispered.

“Oh gosh, no. Not yet, not now,” She would whisper, more to herself than to me. Confused by her words, I would just ignore her words and kept holding onto her small pale hand.

“Push, push Lia. You can do it, I’m here. Be strong. It will be fine,”

Lia kept pushing, her forehead filling with small drops of sweat. The world disappeared from my eyes. Lia’s face was all I could see, and her whimpers of pain all I could hear. She had her beautiful eyes fixated on me, asking me silently to give her the strength she needed, silently asking me to stay.

I didn’t notice when Mom and Mr Attias got to the room, or what they said to me when they arrived.

“I love you so much,” I whispered to her. She closed her eyes, and breathed in deeply. As if she were soaking my words in.

The moment her eyes left mine, my trains of thoughts were disconnected from her, for a brief second. And I took in all of my surroundings.

I saw Mr Attias’ pained eyes fixated on Lia’s face, quietly telling her she was going to be fine. Mom was behind him, rubbing his back, her expression scared.

She turned to look at me, and it changed. When I realized how she was looking at me, I hated her more than I could ever thought possible. I wished her Lia’s disease and her pain. I wished she was suffering and begging to die. I almost left Lia’s side to tell her to leave the room and never come back.

“We’re almost there, push one more time Lia, come on,” Dr. Michael urged. “One, two, three, push.”

Lia pushed as hard as her body would allow her. I held her hand tighter and kissed her forehead softly. The room was filled with a horrendous scream shattering my heart.

A few seconds after Lia’s scream melted away, Dr Michael was letting us know everything that was happening with the baby. How his head looked, if there was going to be any troubles, how the outlook on everything so far looked perfect.

“He’s here,” Dr Michael whispered.

Then I heard it. The cries of a new born. The cries a new born baby boy that belonged only to Lia and me. The world suddenly changed colours, everything seemed clearer. Everything seemed to fall back into place. I found the last piece of my puzzle.