Because He Loved Me.

As I lay in bed, my mind wondered. Tears streaked my cheeks but no sound came out of my throat. "It's not over tonight, just give me one more chance to make it, I may not make it through the night but I won't go home without you," I sang a bit, sniffing at the end. Mateo and I only agreed on one song that we loved and always blasted when it was on. It was that song, the song that hurts to say.
Lightning cracked which illuminated my room for a brief second reminded me of those nights I would get scared and crawl into Mateo's bed.

My six year old self pulled the covers over my head as the thunder rumbled. A loud boom made me cry out and jolt up in bed. The tree branches looked like monsters trying to claw at my window. Whimpering as another boom erupted from the angry sky, I fell off my bed. Quickly, I scurried out of the room as fast as I could with my footie pajamas. My eyes wondered over to Mateo's door and I quickly opened it.
"Ma-Mateo," I sniffled, walking up to his bed and rubbing my eye.
"What is it?" An eight year old, tired Mateo asked.
"I'm-I'm scared," Tears were now leaking from my eyes.
"C'mon in," He said more alert, scooting over to give me room. I crawled into his Spiderman sheets and hugged him.
"Thank you-you, Mateo, I love you," I said, snuggling close to him.
"I love you too, Issie," He smiled and hugged me back. "I'll always be here for you,"
"I never want you to go away, promise me you'll stay here forever," I panicked hearing another crack of thunder and looking up at him.
"I will promise you I will always be there to protect and love you...but everybody has to go sometime, Issie. I might needa move out one day and get married and have lots and lots of nieces and nephews for you," He joked making me giggle.

I hugged my side and rolled over letting the tears soak my pillow. My phone buzzed and I answered after the fourth ring, almost making it go to voice mail.
"Hel-hello?" I said in a hoarse voice.
"Bella!" I heard Santino sigh, "Thank God you're alright! I tried calling you for the past two days! I tried coming over but my ma caught me sneaking out! Can you believe she grounded her own baby boy?! Well...I can I'm not a baby anymore if ya know what I mean-"
"Sadly, I do know what you mean. And yes I am fine. What happened was Andrew took me hom-"
"Andrew...as in Killer?!" Santino cut me off.
"No Andrew as in the apostle, yes Killer!" I scoffed.
"Damn...now you're with a fighter, huh?" His voice sounded a bit disappointed.
"No Santino, I don't know if I'll ever see him again. Chill," I said cracking a smile and rolling over onto my stomach.
"Oh...ok" He said happily. I rolled my eyes and laughed a bit. "So bowling tomorrow night then?"
"Bowling on a Tuesday night?"
"Hey on Friday's it’s packed," Santino persuaded.
"You have a point,"
"So you're in?"
"Yes," I gave in, palming my forehead.
"Good, TTYL BFFL!" Santino squealed as he hung up. Sometimes, I wonder about him…

Tuesday night came by and I was not feeling like going out. My hair wouldn’t cooperate and I had to change my outfit five times. Groaning, I slammed my eyeliner down and wiped my eyes. Trying to keep a steady hand, I finally applied it on my top lid and then did my bottom.
The door bell rang as I was slipping on my sneakers. My father answered the door and yelled out, “Aye Santino!” Then I pictured a “man hug” between the two. Bursting out laughing, I walked down stairs and saw Santino telling my dad about his father’s shoe store.
“Have her back before midnight this time,” He said sternly to him, “We don’t need another episode of Karen screaming her lungs out and telling me to drive her around the block in her drunken state, alright?”
Both Santino and I nodded. Gulping down guilt, I grabbed Santino’s hand as we walked out the door into his car. As soon as he turned on the car, Selene Dion blasted from the stereo. Raising an eyebrow, I turned towards him slowly. Santino shrunk back and muttered something of the lines of, “Damn, ma,” and switched radio stations. Laughing, I smacked his arm.
“Let’s just get to bowling, alright?” I smirked as his face went down a few shades of red. “Pansy ass,” I muttered.
“It was my ma!” He groaned and pulled out of my drive way.
“So for your birthday should I get Selene Dion tickets or Barbara Streisand tickets?” I mocked. Cleary embarrassed, Santino swerved into a parking space and slammed his door.
Laughing, I opened the bowling door and sighed. Last time I was here I was with Heather and Mateo. The smell of bowling shoes filled my nostrils and the crashing of bowling pins rang in my ears. Santino paid for our shoes and the lane as I walked down to the bowling lands to see a familiar bleach blond with a man.
“Oh look,” I said to no one in particular, “The bitch has moved on. Fucking gre-” I stopped dead in my sentence when I saw the guy. It was Drew. The muscular hottie who gave me that romantic walk in the park a few days earlier, was now with Heather. Fire blazed in my stomach as I stormed passed her giggling ass and his sexy ass.
Looking down, I wrote Santino’s name in the electronic TV that keeps score. A tap on the shoulder made me jump and squeak a bit. Santino looked down at me with a raised eyebrow. I chuckled a bit and looked over to the left of him to see Drew starring at me. Glancing back down, I wrote my name then told Santino it was his turn.
I heard Heather giggle a fake giggle while her pink heels clacked on the floor. Not looking back, I felt her elbows on the back of the chair. As her gum smacked I was getting more and more annoyed with her presence.
“So, couldn’t get a date, huh?” She said in a childish voice.
“Why would I want to go on a date every night with a different guy, like a slut like you?” I tilted my head and turned back seeing Drew standing right behind her with a smirk on his face. Gulping down my fear, I saw Heather turn bright red.
“I’m not a slut. I waited at least two weeks after your brother died to date,”
“That rule only applies when you break up, you stupid wh-”
“C’mon down guys,” Drew whispered, chuckling, “We don’t want a fight,”
“You sure about that?” I spat back, folding my arms.
Drew probably didn’t want his date to get her ass handed to her because he’d probably be fucking it tonight. I made a disgusted ‘ugh’ when I saw her turn around and cling onto his arm.
“You’re just jealous, that I can get a hot guy,” Heather giggled and kissed his cheek.
“No, Heather, I’m not jealous of you. I actually pitty you,” I frowned sadly and put on a baby voice, “You use your body to get men, I use my personality. You use unintelligence to get a man, I use my brain. Oh, incase you don’t know what a brain is, it’s an organ in your head that makes you think – I know you don’t have one,” I smirked. Heather walked up to me and I ducked when she went to punch me. My right fist connected with her ribs as she went to through another punch. Drew held her waist, holding her back. I, still in the boxer stance, loved every minute of it.
“Aye!” Santino yelled and tugged on my waist, caging me in.
“Let me go, damn it!” I whispered and scratched at his arms.
“Well nice seeing you, Drew,” Santino nodded and so did Drew, “Not so nice seeing you, Herpes, uh…Heather,” Santino dragged me back to the lane as Drew and Heather left the building.