All a Blur
As Always It's All For You.
“Give me it…” I groaned, reaching out for my cellphone.
“No…” Lani said matching my distinct tone. She held my cell phone up in the air and proceeded to read my texts. After about five minutes, she tossed it at me.
“Boo, you have no nasty messages.” Lani pouted plopping down on my bed.
I rolled my eyes, “Sorry babe, I’m not you.”
Lani scoffed, “It’s not my fault I came out more like mom than you did.”
“Psh, I’d rather be like dad, all sexy and junk.” I rolled onto my back, hearing the distinct ding of the yahoo message alert.
“OH MY FUCKING GOD!” I shot up, and scooped my laptop off the nightstand.
I opened it and entered my account password, Google Chrome popping up with Yahoo logged in. At first I thought it was a message, but when it dinged again, I noticed it was an I.M, and from someone named ‘Craigafer.’
“Uhm…Lani, can you get me a change of pants?” I asked, running to the bathroom.
“WHY?”
I closed the bathroom door behind me, and pulled my pants down. “Oh, wait no. I didn’t piss myself this time.”
I exited the bathroom, running to my bed, where Lani sat staring at my laptop in amazement. “Craig…Craig sent you an I.M…” She said.
Lani creased her eyebrows, “No fair, all I got was this stupid message from Mike…”
My eyes widened, “WAIT WHAT? READ IT BITCH!”
Lani positioned her lap-top in the middle of us, allowing me a better view.
RE: Would I have to pay you to go down on me?
I’m not gonna lie, I stalked your page for hours… Peanut butter is pretty rad.
Did it hurt?
You’re probably thinking did what hurt, & you’re probably thinking I’m gonna say ’when you fell out of heaven’ but I was actually gonna say when you got kicked out of hell!
LAWL J/K I’ve actually wanted to say that for the longest time. Now to actually reply to your email…
I would let you kidnap me anytime, if I didn’t kidnap you first. ;D DAMN! You’ve been to a lot of BTF concerts; it’s nice to know I have a dedicated fan…a hot dedicated fan.
O.o Your sister must have skills! But you can keep them, as long as I get two articles of clothing from you. (Preferably articles you wear under your clothes.)
LAWL K, so I like your name...it’s different, unlike mine. Pfft, Michael <- so plain.
& about that kiss, you should’ve made it last longer, could’ve turned into much more babe.
AND I’d let you have my blond hair blue eyed babies any day, except I doubt they’d have blond hair and blue eyes, due to the mixture of genes. But I saw what your sister sent Craig, you guys are very similar, oh and did she really pee herself?
Craig was wondering, ha ha I got to end it here though, band practice. Hope you reply Lani,
Love love love,
Mike xo.
“…I should reply to Craig now.” I trailed off; glancing back at my laptop to see that there was 5 new I.Ms from Craig.
Craigafer: hello..
Craigafer: Miranda
Craigafer: M-Sleazy
Craigafer:RANDI
Craigafer: BUT I LOVE YOU!!!!
I chuckled and gestured for Lani to look, “WHY YOU SO OBSSESSED WITH ME?” Lani sang, analyzing her words, “wait, let me re-do that. WHY YOU SO OBSSESSED WITH MIRANDA?”
Randi_likes_Craig_Sex: hi…
Craigafer: omfg success!
Randi_likes_craig_sex: uhmm, how did you get my yahoo i.d?
Craigafer: I was stalking your page, and then I noticed that your sister was on your top, then I went to her page. Y’know your sister really shouldn’t post your yahoo conversation that way strangers won’t get your username.
Randi_likes_craig_sex: A part of me is ecstatic that your Iming me, the other part is freaked the fuck out that you were basically stalking me.
Craigafer: and your point is? I’m a sexy screamer ;} I pwn everyone!
Randi_likes_craig_sex: That’s true…
Lani elbowed me in the stomach, “Oh my fucking God Randi why are you acting so awkward?”
I scoffed, “Dude this is a pretty awkward situation…”
“You’re so fucking lame, what time is it?” She asked, glancing at the time on her lap-top.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.” She said, shaking me by the shoulders.
“What, what, what, what, what?” I asked, glaring at her.
“WE HAVE 10 MINUTES TO BE AT WORK!” She screamed at me shutting her laptop. “Dad will kill us if were late again,” She said jumping of my bed and throwing my apron at me. She disappeared for a few seconds to return with car keys and her apron.
“No wait! I have to say bye to Craig!” I remembered trying to reach for my laptop.
“Bitch if were late again dad said he was sending us to boot camp, and that’s not where I plan to spend my summer vacation.” Lani said, yanking me away from Craig.
“It’ll be a sec.” I pleaded giving her the best puppy dog eyes.
She groaned loudly, “FINE! Fine!”
“Yay!” I ran to my room, and opened my lap-top.
Craigafer: Randi?
Craigafer: Helloooooo
Craigafer: Miranda, where’d you go?
Randi_likes_craig_sex: Gotta go to work, text this number. 678-558-4706
Craigafer: ok ok ok ok ok I love youuuuuu.
Randi_likes_craig_sex: uhm…ok Ily2?
Craigafer: oh, I like your username by the way.
Randi_likes_craig_sex: thank youuuu, bye for real now.
“GET THE FUCK OFF, LET’S GO! WE GOT LESs THAN FIVE MINUTES!” Lani shouted from the front door.
I shut the lap-top and sprinted out of the house, locking it in the process. Lani sat in the driver’s seat of the car. I opened the passenger’s door, and plopped in, buckling my seatbelt on as she pulled out the driveway.
“You should be glad it only takes 3 minutes to get there bitch.” Lani said, glaring at me momentarily.
“You should be glad I haven’t killed you in your sleep yet…” I said, glaring back at her.
“Touche.” She said, fumbling around with the cars stereo.
“Here let me…” I insisted, reaching out.
“No I can do it!” Lani yelled, smacking my hand away.
“No, you’re supposed to be driving, keep your eyes on the road!” I seethed, pushing her hand away from the stereo.
“RANDEL!” Lani screamed, “I will turn this car around if you don’t fucki-“
*GIANT CRASHING SOUND*
“ing stop…” Lani finished, staring at the front of the car, where a tree stood in the middle of the hood of the car.
“You hit a tree.” I stated pointing at the tree.
“Nah, you reh-tard.” She muttered her face void of emotion.
“Hey at least the airbags didn’t-“ I spoke to soon, because a second later I had a face full of airbag.
“You fucking jinxed it you twerp.” Lani’s voice was muffled, but knowing her that’s most likely what she said.
“You look so sound asleep I can’t believe that your backbones missing and you never had a clue at all.”
I reached as best I could into my pocket for my phone. With that in hand, I attempted to open the door, but it fell off. Lani groaned, “My car…”
I rolled my eyes, “this would’ve never happened if you let me play the music…” I said, my phone still ringing.
Lani glared at me, “answer the phone, and let me obsesse over my dead car.”
I scoffed, “What ever.”
I glanced at the forescreen, and flinched immediately. dad.
I answered it hesitantly, “uh, hi dad…”
“WHERE ARE YOU? YOU GUYS ARE LATE!” He barked.
“Look at the parking lot…” I said, holding the phone away from my ear, knowing my father would shrill with fury.
I looked at the Bakery, and saw my father’s fuming figure, staring at the wreck, his jaw hanging on the floor. He pointed at Lani and I, motioning for us to come in.
“Lani…” I called.
“Yes?” She squeaked, digging a hole with her bare hands.
I raised an eyebrow at her, “what’re you doing?”
She sobbed, “Digging a grave for Bokan.”
I rolled my eyes, “dad kinda wants us…”
Lani started digging another hole, I groaned. “What’re you doing now?”
“Digging a hole for myself.”
I laughed, “Come on, it can’t be that bad.”
“AND YOU KEEP ON DISRESPECTING MY AUTHORITY!” My dad screamed, waving his hands in the air like a mad-man.
I flinched slightly at the harsh nature of his words. “YOU KNOW? I’M TIRED OF DEALING WITH YOUR GIRLS BULLSHIT, YOU’RE GOING TO LIVE WITH YOUR AUNT BRAXTON FOR THE REST OF THE SUMMER!”
I tried my best not to bust out happy dancing, because then my dad would realize that going to live with our aunt Braxton is more like a vacation than a punishment. Now our aunt Sarah, that’s a different story.
“AND YOU’RE GOING TO WORK AT THE COFFEE SHOP I RECENTLY BOUGHT, AND IF I EVER HEAR THAT YOU’RE LATE, I’M TAKING AWAY YOU’RE CARS,” My dad coughed, “car, your phones, your laptops, your credit cards, you’re skateboards.”
I bit my lip, my voice strained, “Not Lulu.” I said, lowering my gaze.
“YES EVEN LULU AND COLTEN! YOUR ROLLERBLADES, EVEN YOUR SLEIGH’S!”
I glared at him, “It doesn’t even snow here.”
“FRANKLY I DON’T GIVE A FUCK, YOU TWO WOULD FIND SOME WAY TO CRASH IT ANYWAY!” He shouted, not appreciating my smart remark.
“At least he didn’t mention EllImay and Monte.” Lani whispered, smirking lightly.
“AND ELLIMAY AND MONTE ARE GOING TO THE KENNEL!” He added.
“I don’t even think they board chinchila’s…” Lani muttered under her breath.
“ONE MORE SMART REMARK AND BOTH OF YOU ARE GOING TO GET A SPANKING!” My dad shouted, shaking his fist at us.
Lani had her hand clamped over her mouth, trying her hardest not to fall to the ground laughing. “I don’t really care where you live at, just turn around boy let me hit that. Don’t be a little bitch with your chit-chat, just show me where your dicks at.”
Lani’s eyes widened as her phone rang violently from my dad’s pocket. He pulled her phone out and answered it.
“Hello?” He asked sternly.
He pressed a button and the phone beeped signaling that it was on speaker.
“Uh Lani, You have a manly voice…” Mike’s suave voice replied.
“This is her father.” My dad said, an eyebrow cocked at Lani. ‘Who is this?’ He mouthed.
“Oh hi, could I possibly, maybe talk to Lani…?” Mike asked.
“Sure, but only for a second because she’s grounded and SHE CAN’T KEEP TRACK OF FUCKING TIME!” He yelled, directing it at us.
He handed Lani the phone and went back to his original position, eyes narrow, and arms crossed over his chest.
“Uh hello?” Lani called awkwardly.
“HEY OMFG I LOVE YOU! WHERE’S YOUR SISTER?” Craig shouted.
“CRAIG GIVE ME THE PHONE BACK!”
Lani glanced at me weirdly.
“HI LANI!” Mike yelled breathlessly.
“Hi…” Lani said awkwardly.
“Wait…how’d you get my number?” She asked.
“Well I messaged that one girl on your top friends, ‘Kaitlin’ was it? Yeah, her. She gave it to me.” Mike said.
“See! I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHOSE AWKWARD WHEN TALKING TO CELEBRITIES!” I shouted, pointing at Lani.
“What celebrities? Who’re you girls talking too?” My dad questioned.
“Uhm, Mike I gotta go, the devil calls.” Lani said hurriedly.
“Okay bye, I LOVE YO-“ Lani slapped her phone. Her brand new BlackBerry storm, which my father didn’t want to buy her, but he did anyway.
“I’M TIRED OF THE SMALL TALK, GO HOME AND PACK YOUR SHIT.” Our dad said, pointing at the door.
“uh, we kinda don’t have a car…” I said, getting up from my seat.
“RIDE THE BUS!” Our dad suggested.
“We don’t have bus fare, we left our wallets at home.” Lani told him.
“Walk home.” He said.
I pouted, “But Dad!”
“No buts, go now…” He commanded us.
Lani secretly hid her phone behind her back, and started heading for the door. “eh, eh, eh. Give me, you get it back, after you pack. Maybe.” He said, sticking his hand out.
“WAIT! You were being serious?!” Lani cried, dropping to her knees.
Our dad nodded slowly, “No duh retard.”
Lani hugged his knees, “Daddy please! I love you!”
“Aw Hunny, I love you too!” He cooed, patting the top of her head.
“Now go pack.” He said, shaking his leg in hopes of getting her off.
Lani sighed, “ I don’t like you anymore…”
“Boo-hoo, go cry me a river.” Our dad muttered.
Lani ripped the door open, causing all the employees who were eavesdropping to fall to the floor. “Nosy fucks.” Lani mumbled, glaring at the people.
“WATCH YOUR FUCKING LANGUAGE YOUNG LADY!” An old customer shouted.
“No…” Lani said matching my distinct tone. She held my cell phone up in the air and proceeded to read my texts. After about five minutes, she tossed it at me.
“Boo, you have no nasty messages.” Lani pouted plopping down on my bed.
I rolled my eyes, “Sorry babe, I’m not you.”
Lani scoffed, “It’s not my fault I came out more like mom than you did.”
“Psh, I’d rather be like dad, all sexy and junk.” I rolled onto my back, hearing the distinct ding of the yahoo message alert.
“OH MY FUCKING GOD!” I shot up, and scooped my laptop off the nightstand.
I opened it and entered my account password, Google Chrome popping up with Yahoo logged in. At first I thought it was a message, but when it dinged again, I noticed it was an I.M, and from someone named ‘Craigafer.’
“Uhm…Lani, can you get me a change of pants?” I asked, running to the bathroom.
“WHY?”
I closed the bathroom door behind me, and pulled my pants down. “Oh, wait no. I didn’t piss myself this time.”
I exited the bathroom, running to my bed, where Lani sat staring at my laptop in amazement. “Craig…Craig sent you an I.M…” She said.
Lani creased her eyebrows, “No fair, all I got was this stupid message from Mike…”
My eyes widened, “WAIT WHAT? READ IT BITCH!”
Lani positioned her lap-top in the middle of us, allowing me a better view.
RE: Would I have to pay you to go down on me?
I’m not gonna lie, I stalked your page for hours… Peanut butter is pretty rad.
Did it hurt?
You’re probably thinking did what hurt, & you’re probably thinking I’m gonna say ’when you fell out of heaven’ but I was actually gonna say when you got kicked out of hell!
LAWL J/K I’ve actually wanted to say that for the longest time. Now to actually reply to your email…
I would let you kidnap me anytime, if I didn’t kidnap you first. ;D DAMN! You’ve been to a lot of BTF concerts; it’s nice to know I have a dedicated fan…a hot dedicated fan.
O.o Your sister must have skills! But you can keep them, as long as I get two articles of clothing from you. (Preferably articles you wear under your clothes.)
LAWL K, so I like your name...it’s different, unlike mine. Pfft, Michael <- so plain.
& about that kiss, you should’ve made it last longer, could’ve turned into much more babe.
AND I’d let you have my blond hair blue eyed babies any day, except I doubt they’d have blond hair and blue eyes, due to the mixture of genes. But I saw what your sister sent Craig, you guys are very similar, oh and did she really pee herself?
Craig was wondering, ha ha I got to end it here though, band practice. Hope you reply Lani,
Love love love,
Mike xo.
“…I should reply to Craig now.” I trailed off; glancing back at my laptop to see that there was 5 new I.Ms from Craig.
Craigafer: hello..
Craigafer: Miranda
Craigafer: M-Sleazy
Craigafer:RANDI
Craigafer: BUT I LOVE YOU!!!!
I chuckled and gestured for Lani to look, “WHY YOU SO OBSSESSED WITH ME?” Lani sang, analyzing her words, “wait, let me re-do that. WHY YOU SO OBSSESSED WITH MIRANDA?”
Randi_likes_Craig_Sex: hi…
Craigafer: omfg success!
Randi_likes_craig_sex: uhmm, how did you get my yahoo i.d?
Craigafer: I was stalking your page, and then I noticed that your sister was on your top, then I went to her page. Y’know your sister really shouldn’t post your yahoo conversation that way strangers won’t get your username.
Randi_likes_craig_sex: A part of me is ecstatic that your Iming me, the other part is freaked the fuck out that you were basically stalking me.
Craigafer: and your point is? I’m a sexy screamer ;} I pwn everyone!
Randi_likes_craig_sex: That’s true…
Lani elbowed me in the stomach, “Oh my fucking God Randi why are you acting so awkward?”
I scoffed, “Dude this is a pretty awkward situation…”
“You’re so fucking lame, what time is it?” She asked, glancing at the time on her lap-top.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.” She said, shaking me by the shoulders.
“What, what, what, what, what?” I asked, glaring at her.
“WE HAVE 10 MINUTES TO BE AT WORK!” She screamed at me shutting her laptop. “Dad will kill us if were late again,” She said jumping of my bed and throwing my apron at me. She disappeared for a few seconds to return with car keys and her apron.
“No wait! I have to say bye to Craig!” I remembered trying to reach for my laptop.
“Bitch if were late again dad said he was sending us to boot camp, and that’s not where I plan to spend my summer vacation.” Lani said, yanking me away from Craig.
“It’ll be a sec.” I pleaded giving her the best puppy dog eyes.
She groaned loudly, “FINE! Fine!”
“Yay!” I ran to my room, and opened my lap-top.
Craigafer: Randi?
Craigafer: Helloooooo
Craigafer: Miranda, where’d you go?
Randi_likes_craig_sex: Gotta go to work, text this number. 678-558-4706
Craigafer: ok ok ok ok ok I love youuuuuu.
Randi_likes_craig_sex: uhm…ok Ily2?
Craigafer: oh, I like your username by the way.
Randi_likes_craig_sex: thank youuuu, bye for real now.
“GET THE FUCK OFF, LET’S GO! WE GOT LESs THAN FIVE MINUTES!” Lani shouted from the front door.
I shut the lap-top and sprinted out of the house, locking it in the process. Lani sat in the driver’s seat of the car. I opened the passenger’s door, and plopped in, buckling my seatbelt on as she pulled out the driveway.
“You should be glad it only takes 3 minutes to get there bitch.” Lani said, glaring at me momentarily.
“You should be glad I haven’t killed you in your sleep yet…” I said, glaring back at her.
“Touche.” She said, fumbling around with the cars stereo.
“Here let me…” I insisted, reaching out.
“No I can do it!” Lani yelled, smacking my hand away.
“No, you’re supposed to be driving, keep your eyes on the road!” I seethed, pushing her hand away from the stereo.
“RANDEL!” Lani screamed, “I will turn this car around if you don’t fucki-“
*GIANT CRASHING SOUND*
“ing stop…” Lani finished, staring at the front of the car, where a tree stood in the middle of the hood of the car.
“You hit a tree.” I stated pointing at the tree.
“Nah, you reh-tard.” She muttered her face void of emotion.
“Hey at least the airbags didn’t-“ I spoke to soon, because a second later I had a face full of airbag.
“You fucking jinxed it you twerp.” Lani’s voice was muffled, but knowing her that’s most likely what she said.
“You look so sound asleep I can’t believe that your backbones missing and you never had a clue at all.”
I reached as best I could into my pocket for my phone. With that in hand, I attempted to open the door, but it fell off. Lani groaned, “My car…”
I rolled my eyes, “this would’ve never happened if you let me play the music…” I said, my phone still ringing.
Lani glared at me, “answer the phone, and let me obsesse over my dead car.”
I scoffed, “What ever.”
I glanced at the forescreen, and flinched immediately. dad.
I answered it hesitantly, “uh, hi dad…”
“WHERE ARE YOU? YOU GUYS ARE LATE!” He barked.
“Look at the parking lot…” I said, holding the phone away from my ear, knowing my father would shrill with fury.
I looked at the Bakery, and saw my father’s fuming figure, staring at the wreck, his jaw hanging on the floor. He pointed at Lani and I, motioning for us to come in.
“Lani…” I called.
“Yes?” She squeaked, digging a hole with her bare hands.
I raised an eyebrow at her, “what’re you doing?”
She sobbed, “Digging a grave for Bokan.”
I rolled my eyes, “dad kinda wants us…”
Lani started digging another hole, I groaned. “What’re you doing now?”
“Digging a hole for myself.”
I laughed, “Come on, it can’t be that bad.”
“AND YOU KEEP ON DISRESPECTING MY AUTHORITY!” My dad screamed, waving his hands in the air like a mad-man.
I flinched slightly at the harsh nature of his words. “YOU KNOW? I’M TIRED OF DEALING WITH YOUR GIRLS BULLSHIT, YOU’RE GOING TO LIVE WITH YOUR AUNT BRAXTON FOR THE REST OF THE SUMMER!”
I tried my best not to bust out happy dancing, because then my dad would realize that going to live with our aunt Braxton is more like a vacation than a punishment. Now our aunt Sarah, that’s a different story.
“AND YOU’RE GOING TO WORK AT THE COFFEE SHOP I RECENTLY BOUGHT, AND IF I EVER HEAR THAT YOU’RE LATE, I’M TAKING AWAY YOU’RE CARS,” My dad coughed, “car, your phones, your laptops, your credit cards, you’re skateboards.”
I bit my lip, my voice strained, “Not Lulu.” I said, lowering my gaze.
“YES EVEN LULU AND COLTEN! YOUR ROLLERBLADES, EVEN YOUR SLEIGH’S!”
I glared at him, “It doesn’t even snow here.”
“FRANKLY I DON’T GIVE A FUCK, YOU TWO WOULD FIND SOME WAY TO CRASH IT ANYWAY!” He shouted, not appreciating my smart remark.
“At least he didn’t mention EllImay and Monte.” Lani whispered, smirking lightly.
“AND ELLIMAY AND MONTE ARE GOING TO THE KENNEL!” He added.
“I don’t even think they board chinchila’s…” Lani muttered under her breath.
“ONE MORE SMART REMARK AND BOTH OF YOU ARE GOING TO GET A SPANKING!” My dad shouted, shaking his fist at us.
Lani had her hand clamped over her mouth, trying her hardest not to fall to the ground laughing. “I don’t really care where you live at, just turn around boy let me hit that. Don’t be a little bitch with your chit-chat, just show me where your dicks at.”
Lani’s eyes widened as her phone rang violently from my dad’s pocket. He pulled her phone out and answered it.
“Hello?” He asked sternly.
He pressed a button and the phone beeped signaling that it was on speaker.
“Uh Lani, You have a manly voice…” Mike’s suave voice replied.
“This is her father.” My dad said, an eyebrow cocked at Lani. ‘Who is this?’ He mouthed.
“Oh hi, could I possibly, maybe talk to Lani…?” Mike asked.
“Sure, but only for a second because she’s grounded and SHE CAN’T KEEP TRACK OF FUCKING TIME!” He yelled, directing it at us.
He handed Lani the phone and went back to his original position, eyes narrow, and arms crossed over his chest.
“Uh hello?” Lani called awkwardly.
“HEY OMFG I LOVE YOU! WHERE’S YOUR SISTER?” Craig shouted.
“CRAIG GIVE ME THE PHONE BACK!”
Lani glanced at me weirdly.
“HI LANI!” Mike yelled breathlessly.
“Hi…” Lani said awkwardly.
“Wait…how’d you get my number?” She asked.
“Well I messaged that one girl on your top friends, ‘Kaitlin’ was it? Yeah, her. She gave it to me.” Mike said.
“See! I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHOSE AWKWARD WHEN TALKING TO CELEBRITIES!” I shouted, pointing at Lani.
“What celebrities? Who’re you girls talking too?” My dad questioned.
“Uhm, Mike I gotta go, the devil calls.” Lani said hurriedly.
“Okay bye, I LOVE YO-“ Lani slapped her phone. Her brand new BlackBerry storm, which my father didn’t want to buy her, but he did anyway.
“I’M TIRED OF THE SMALL TALK, GO HOME AND PACK YOUR SHIT.” Our dad said, pointing at the door.
“uh, we kinda don’t have a car…” I said, getting up from my seat.
“RIDE THE BUS!” Our dad suggested.
“We don’t have bus fare, we left our wallets at home.” Lani told him.
“Walk home.” He said.
I pouted, “But Dad!”
“No buts, go now…” He commanded us.
Lani secretly hid her phone behind her back, and started heading for the door. “eh, eh, eh. Give me, you get it back, after you pack. Maybe.” He said, sticking his hand out.
“WAIT! You were being serious?!” Lani cried, dropping to her knees.
Our dad nodded slowly, “No duh retard.”
Lani hugged his knees, “Daddy please! I love you!”
“Aw Hunny, I love you too!” He cooed, patting the top of her head.
“Now go pack.” He said, shaking his leg in hopes of getting her off.
Lani sighed, “ I don’t like you anymore…”
“Boo-hoo, go cry me a river.” Our dad muttered.
Lani ripped the door open, causing all the employees who were eavesdropping to fall to the floor. “Nosy fucks.” Lani mumbled, glaring at the people.
“WATCH YOUR FUCKING LANGUAGE YOUNG LADY!” An old customer shouted.
♠ ♠ ♠
so yeah, this is long as shit,so hope you enjoy it :}