Bury Me And Fade To Black

I sat in the tub of the itty bitty bathroom with the knife in my hand.

It had been so long. I’d been so good, but I just couldn’t hold back anymore. Like Vodka to an alcoholic. My arm was a magnet for the blade.

And the blood.

The blood was my Vodka.

I just couldn’t defy the need.

The cold line touched my right arm and I pressed down. Tears were rolling down my cheeks as I drug the blade through my skin.

I pulled the blade from my skin and gripped the handle tightly in both hands. The blood was pulsing from the two inch cut and I started to feel light headed.

I dropped the blade onto the floor of the tub and stared at the blood that staining my hands.

And then it was black.

This world was like nothing I had ever experienced. Bright and happy and alive. Everything that was the opposite of my existence. I stared around at the blue sky scattered with little white puffs. And the grass beneath my bare feet greener than anything I’d seen before. Despite the beauty of this wondrous land, I felt no relief from the agony of living. No better than lying on the bathroom floor.

Why had death brought my here if I wasn’t going to enjoy it? Why did this world want to torture me by giving my nothing to enjoy even when my life was over?

I fell to a crumpled pile in the grass that I hated and wished for something, anything to save me from this pain.

“April? What are you doing?” An angelic voice came to me.

I looked up into the face of one of the only people I could try for. One of the only people who mattered enough to make me keep going. Gerard Way.

Gerard Way whose lyrics had saved me from the blade millions of times in the many months it’d been since I stopped. The one whose bands music had not been able to save me this time.

He was here.

“Why are you here? You couldn’t save me. No one could. So go save someone else. You’re wasting your time here.”

“NO! I will not leave until you get up and [i[try. You said you would try for me. I will not stand by while such a beautiful life is lost. I will not bury you and let you fade to black!”

I looked at him, waiting for him to say more or leave or something.

“Get up! This is bullshit! Get up and live!”

Something about his intonation made me obey. I stoop up and watched the world around me disappear.

“I’m proud of you, April.” His voice fallowed me back to where I was supposed to be.

And life was better than I had ever seen.

3 Months Later

My friends and I stood in life after the show, waiting our turns for the best moment of my life.

Only three groups ahead of us now and I could see their faces.

My heard pounded in my chest as we approached the five men standing with smiles on their faces.

I approached the one with jet black locks and he held out his hand.

“I’m Gerard Way, nice to meet you,” he said with a wide smile.

I shook his hand fervently and smiled back, “I’m April and you saved my life.”