Your Song
The Party
Xx-matt-xX
"...and you really should tell Zarah how you feel." Jeff was telling me for what felt like the millionth time.
"I know." I said looking for a bottle of orange flavored Smirnoff vodka.
Jeff and I were out shopping for stuff I would need for my party tonight. We were currently in the alcohol section of the local grocery store and Jeff kept bugging me about telling Zarah how I feel about her tonight at the party.
It was silent between us as we paid for our stuff and left the grocery store. On the ride back to my house I finally decided that I really was going to tell her tonight. I should have told her back when we were younger. I had had plenty of chances, but always backed out at the last minute. I needed to tell her before someone else did. I had to do it tonight.
Once we were back at my house I told Jeff, Shane, and Shannon Moore [another close friend of ours] about my plans for the party that night. I actually think they were more excited than I was.
x-later-x
The party had been going on for about an hour now. Some people were already totally hammered. Beth and I had already made bets on when Kimo was gonna drop.
"Where is she?" I whispered to myself.
Excusing myself from the kitchen, I went and looked out the window by the front door.
"She's on her way."
I turned around and saw Jeff, Shane, and Shannon standing nearby, watching me.
"What? Who?" I asked trying to sound nonchalant.
"You know who." Shane said smiling. "You're lover."
"She's not my lover." I said with a sigh.
"Not yet anyway." Shannon said.
"How long until she gets here?" I asked leaning against the wall by the window.
"About five minutes." Jeff said putting his phone away. "She actually lives really close by. And she's bringing Meisa with her by the way." he said the last part to Shane.
"Well then I guess I'll just have to keep Meisa busy when they get here." Shane said suddenly smiling. "That way you can get it over with."
I nodded, suddenly feeling really nervous. "Right."
"Don't worry man." Shannon said coming and clapping me on the shoulder. "What's the worst that could happen?"
"Her saying she doesn't feel the same way." I said.
"Well... yeah..." he said. "But... that won't happen!"
I hope not...
Much sooner than I would have liked, there was a knock on the door. I put on a smiled, trying to hide my nervousness, and opened the door to see Zarah and Meisa.
"I was beginning to wonder if you were ever gonna get here!" I said standing aside for them to come in.
"Sorry." Zarah said smiling. "It took Meisa a little longer than we thought to get ready."
As soon as they were in the house, Jeff made up some excuse about needing to check on something and he and Shannon quickly disappeared. Shane said something to Meisa about wanting to show her something and they started walking away. Before they were completely out of the room, Shane quickly turned around and gave me a look that plainly said to get it over with.
I nodded to him and turned to face Zarah. I noticed that she had actually taken the time to put on make up [something she rarely did] and she was dressed a little more girly than was normal for her. It made me wonder if it really was Meisa who made them late.
"Matt?" Zarah said, snapping me out of my thoughts. "What are you staring at?" she looked over her shoulder and then back at me with a questioning look on her face.
"Sorry!" I said trying to hide my embarrassment from being caught. "You look really pretty."
She blushed bright red and looked down at her feet. "Thanks." she muttered.
"Would you like a drink?" I asked gesturing to the kitchen.
She looked back up at me, smiling, and nodded. I offered her my arm, which she looped her own into, and we made our way to the kitchen.
x-later-x
I really didn't think I would tell her. I really didn't think I could tell her. The party had been going on for a while now. The last time I checked the time it was close to one in the morning.
Zarah and I kept finding ourselves alone – probably my brother's work. There were so many times that I could have told her. But just like when we were younger, I chickened out every single time.
I led Zarah to the kitchen so we could get more drinks. Neither of us had actually drank that much yet. I guess this was good though. If we were both sober enough I wouldn't tell Zarah in a way that would utterly embarrass myself and Zarah would be able to remember tomorrow that I told her [not really sure if that last part was good yet].
Upon entering the kitchen, I was ambushed by Jeff, Shane, and Shannon. They waited until Zarah was on the other side of the room talking to Meisa, Beth, and Julie before they started pestering me.
"Did you tell her yet?" Shannon asked.
I sighed. "No."
"Seriously?!" Shane all but yelled.
"I'm working on it!" I said motioning for him to quiet down. "Just give me some time."
"What do you think we've been doing all fucking night!?" said Jeff.
"Look here Hardy," Shane said. "You need to fucking tell her already! If you don't by the end of the night we will!"
Jeff and Shannon nodded in agreement.
"Alright!" I said truly afraid of what they would do. "I'll tell her... just... gimme a chance..."
I took a deep breath and made my way over to Zarah.
"Hey," I said quietly. "Can I talk to you for a second?"
"Sure." she turned to the other girls and told them she would be back in a minute.
I led her out of the kitchen and to my room. I closed the door behind us to give us more privacy. I took another deep breath, trying to gather up the last of my courage, before turning around to face Zarah.
She was standing by the window by my bed. She was staring out at the night sky, biting her lip – another nervous habit she'd had since we were little. I went and stood next to her. I was far enough away to give her some space but close enough that I could feel the heat radiating off her body.
She turned and looked at me. "What did you want to talk to me about?" she asked. I could see the nervousness in her eyes.
Run away! Run away! my mind was screaming at me. Abort! Abort! Don't do it!
Ignoring the voice in my head, I took Zarah's hands into my own and looked down into her beautiful blue eyes.
"There's something I've been meaning to tell you all night." I said.
I could hear the nervousness in my voice.
"W-what's that?" she asked, matching my nervous tone of voice with her own.
"I... I..." Just do it Hardy! the voice in my head suddenly growled. "I love you!"
Zarah's eyes got round and she opened her mouth to say something, but I didn't let her.
"I love you Zarah Elizabeth Havens. I've always loved you! I loved you back when we were just kids! Every time we would hold hands or hug would make my insides melt and I would want to tell you how much I loved you! There were so many times when I really wanted to tell you, but I would always chicken out! I was afraid that you wouldn't feel the same way and things might get awkward between us, so I kept my mouth shut!"
"Matt, I-"
"But I'm tired of you not knowing!" I continued, cutting her off. "You may not feel the same way, but I needed to tell you! I love you so much Zarah! I-"
I was suddenly cut off with Zarah's lips crashing onto mine.
A second later she pulled away smiling. "I love you too Matt." she said. "I've always loved you, too. But, like you, I've always been too afraid to tell you."
"Really?" I asked smiling like an idiot. She nodded. "So... I hate to be a dork... but does this mean you'll be my girlfriend?"
She nodded again, smiling. I stepped closer to her and gently wrapped my arms around her thin waist. Both of us smiling, I slowly leaned down and kissed her on the lips. Kissing me back, she brought her arms up and wrapped them loosely around my neck.
The kiss didn't last nearly long enough, though. There was a noise from the door that told us that there were people on the other side.
We broke apart and looked at the door, listening as best we could.
"What happened?"
"Why did it suddenly get quiet?"
"What do you think they're doing in there?"
I let go of Zarah and put a finger to my lips, telling her to be quiet. She smiled and nodded, showing she understood. As quietly as I could, I snuck over to the door and yanked it open.
Jeff, Shane, and Shannon, along with Meisa, Beth, and Julie all tumbled into my room.
"We thought we heard voices out there." I said laughing.
Shane was the first to untangle himself from the heap of people now lying in my bedroom doorway.
"All I have to say is About. Damn. Time." he said smiling.
"...and you really should tell Zarah how you feel." Jeff was telling me for what felt like the millionth time.
"I know." I said looking for a bottle of orange flavored Smirnoff vodka.
Jeff and I were out shopping for stuff I would need for my party tonight. We were currently in the alcohol section of the local grocery store and Jeff kept bugging me about telling Zarah how I feel about her tonight at the party.
It was silent between us as we paid for our stuff and left the grocery store. On the ride back to my house I finally decided that I really was going to tell her tonight. I should have told her back when we were younger. I had had plenty of chances, but always backed out at the last minute. I needed to tell her before someone else did. I had to do it tonight.
Once we were back at my house I told Jeff, Shane, and Shannon Moore [another close friend of ours] about my plans for the party that night. I actually think they were more excited than I was.
x-later-x
The party had been going on for about an hour now. Some people were already totally hammered. Beth and I had already made bets on when Kimo was gonna drop.
"Where is she?" I whispered to myself.
Excusing myself from the kitchen, I went and looked out the window by the front door.
"She's on her way."
I turned around and saw Jeff, Shane, and Shannon standing nearby, watching me.
"What? Who?" I asked trying to sound nonchalant.
"You know who." Shane said smiling. "You're lover."
"She's not my lover." I said with a sigh.
"Not yet anyway." Shannon said.
"How long until she gets here?" I asked leaning against the wall by the window.
"About five minutes." Jeff said putting his phone away. "She actually lives really close by. And she's bringing Meisa with her by the way." he said the last part to Shane.
"Well then I guess I'll just have to keep Meisa busy when they get here." Shane said suddenly smiling. "That way you can get it over with."
I nodded, suddenly feeling really nervous. "Right."
"Don't worry man." Shannon said coming and clapping me on the shoulder. "What's the worst that could happen?"
"Her saying she doesn't feel the same way." I said.
"Well... yeah..." he said. "But... that won't happen!"
I hope not...
Much sooner than I would have liked, there was a knock on the door. I put on a smiled, trying to hide my nervousness, and opened the door to see Zarah and Meisa.
"I was beginning to wonder if you were ever gonna get here!" I said standing aside for them to come in.
"Sorry." Zarah said smiling. "It took Meisa a little longer than we thought to get ready."
As soon as they were in the house, Jeff made up some excuse about needing to check on something and he and Shannon quickly disappeared. Shane said something to Meisa about wanting to show her something and they started walking away. Before they were completely out of the room, Shane quickly turned around and gave me a look that plainly said to get it over with.
I nodded to him and turned to face Zarah. I noticed that she had actually taken the time to put on make up [something she rarely did] and she was dressed a little more girly than was normal for her. It made me wonder if it really was Meisa who made them late.
"Matt?" Zarah said, snapping me out of my thoughts. "What are you staring at?" she looked over her shoulder and then back at me with a questioning look on her face.
"Sorry!" I said trying to hide my embarrassment from being caught. "You look really pretty."
She blushed bright red and looked down at her feet. "Thanks." she muttered.
"Would you like a drink?" I asked gesturing to the kitchen.
She looked back up at me, smiling, and nodded. I offered her my arm, which she looped her own into, and we made our way to the kitchen.
x-later-x
I really didn't think I would tell her. I really didn't think I could tell her. The party had been going on for a while now. The last time I checked the time it was close to one in the morning.
Zarah and I kept finding ourselves alone – probably my brother's work. There were so many times that I could have told her. But just like when we were younger, I chickened out every single time.
I led Zarah to the kitchen so we could get more drinks. Neither of us had actually drank that much yet. I guess this was good though. If we were both sober enough I wouldn't tell Zarah in a way that would utterly embarrass myself and Zarah would be able to remember tomorrow that I told her [not really sure if that last part was good yet].
Upon entering the kitchen, I was ambushed by Jeff, Shane, and Shannon. They waited until Zarah was on the other side of the room talking to Meisa, Beth, and Julie before they started pestering me.
"Did you tell her yet?" Shannon asked.
I sighed. "No."
"Seriously?!" Shane all but yelled.
"I'm working on it!" I said motioning for him to quiet down. "Just give me some time."
"What do you think we've been doing all fucking night!?" said Jeff.
"Look here Hardy," Shane said. "You need to fucking tell her already! If you don't by the end of the night we will!"
Jeff and Shannon nodded in agreement.
"Alright!" I said truly afraid of what they would do. "I'll tell her... just... gimme a chance..."
I took a deep breath and made my way over to Zarah.
"Hey," I said quietly. "Can I talk to you for a second?"
"Sure." she turned to the other girls and told them she would be back in a minute.
I led her out of the kitchen and to my room. I closed the door behind us to give us more privacy. I took another deep breath, trying to gather up the last of my courage, before turning around to face Zarah.
She was standing by the window by my bed. She was staring out at the night sky, biting her lip – another nervous habit she'd had since we were little. I went and stood next to her. I was far enough away to give her some space but close enough that I could feel the heat radiating off her body.
She turned and looked at me. "What did you want to talk to me about?" she asked. I could see the nervousness in her eyes.
Run away! Run away! my mind was screaming at me. Abort! Abort! Don't do it!
Ignoring the voice in my head, I took Zarah's hands into my own and looked down into her beautiful blue eyes.
"There's something I've been meaning to tell you all night." I said.
I could hear the nervousness in my voice.
"W-what's that?" she asked, matching my nervous tone of voice with her own.
"I... I..." Just do it Hardy! the voice in my head suddenly growled. "I love you!"
Zarah's eyes got round and she opened her mouth to say something, but I didn't let her.
"I love you Zarah Elizabeth Havens. I've always loved you! I loved you back when we were just kids! Every time we would hold hands or hug would make my insides melt and I would want to tell you how much I loved you! There were so many times when I really wanted to tell you, but I would always chicken out! I was afraid that you wouldn't feel the same way and things might get awkward between us, so I kept my mouth shut!"
"Matt, I-"
"But I'm tired of you not knowing!" I continued, cutting her off. "You may not feel the same way, but I needed to tell you! I love you so much Zarah! I-"
I was suddenly cut off with Zarah's lips crashing onto mine.
A second later she pulled away smiling. "I love you too Matt." she said. "I've always loved you, too. But, like you, I've always been too afraid to tell you."
"Really?" I asked smiling like an idiot. She nodded. "So... I hate to be a dork... but does this mean you'll be my girlfriend?"
She nodded again, smiling. I stepped closer to her and gently wrapped my arms around her thin waist. Both of us smiling, I slowly leaned down and kissed her on the lips. Kissing me back, she brought her arms up and wrapped them loosely around my neck.
The kiss didn't last nearly long enough, though. There was a noise from the door that told us that there were people on the other side.
We broke apart and looked at the door, listening as best we could.
"What happened?"
"Why did it suddenly get quiet?"
"What do you think they're doing in there?"
I let go of Zarah and put a finger to my lips, telling her to be quiet. She smiled and nodded, showing she understood. As quietly as I could, I snuck over to the door and yanked it open.
Jeff, Shane, and Shannon, along with Meisa, Beth, and Julie all tumbled into my room.
"We thought we heard voices out there." I said laughing.
Shane was the first to untangle himself from the heap of people now lying in my bedroom doorway.
"All I have to say is About. Damn. Time." he said smiling.