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Remember Rev
Big mainstream bands just didn’t float my boat.
I never had a ‘paranormal experience’, and Ive never met the band. But, the band has done so much for me. The passing of James Owen “The Reverend Tholomew Plague” Sullivan is the hardest time of my life, even as a fan across the country.
I have to tell some of my past so it all makes a bit more sense.
For five years, my little brother, my little sister, and I were all mentally abused by my father. Me more so than them. I seemed to be the one who always did wrong and no one could change that. I looked up to my father at the time, being one of the biggest daddy’s girls ever. That seems to fade when your father calls you a ‘useless whore’ on a daily basis. My mom was never around, not happy being with my father and therefore not wanting to be around him. At all. I was lucky on the days I saw her, if even for five minutes before I went to bed. So, its obvious that I had been doing everything. I’d taken care of my siblings, I’d clean, I’d cook, and then I’d try to get my homework done while my father got ready for work and spoke to me how you’d speak to your worst enemy. Its easy to say I was depressed all the time and honestly, I tried to end my life a few times. I had often drown myself in music to try and help.
I remember watching MTV one day (you know, back when they had music videos on) and seeing the Bat Country video. It was such a big deal back then because Avenged was just hitting mainstream. And that was why I kinda didn’t like them. Big mainstream bands just didn’t float my boat. But, I remember seeing the video, and watching it, and looking at The Rev thinking ‘That is one insane motherfucker.’
By the middle my freshman year in high school, we were away from my father. My mom had found someone else she was, and still is, happy with. Everyone moved in together. Seven people, five dogs, and a shit load of fun. That’s summer, the one before sophomore year, I took a trip to South Carolina to spend a month with my grandmother. Having been away from my father for only about a year, I was still depressed. I often had nightmares that he’d come in and physically harm those I love. One day, I was on Quizilla, looking for new stories to read. I remember it so clearly. I was sitting in front of the big window in the dining room, the table small and round with a glass top. The chair was high enough that I had to jump to get on it. I was eating my cereal when I found a story. It didn’t take long for me to wonder who the hell the author was using in her fan fiction. I googled Avenged Sevenfold. I read the wikipedia page and I youtubed their songs.
I’m confident when I say I fell in love with their music right away. They instantly became my favorite band. Beast and the Harlot was the song that did it for me. I played that song so many times its not even funny. Its still my favorite song. It pulled me out of my last bit of depression and helped keep my nightmares at bay. I’d play the song as I slept and everything seemed to be right. I memorized their videos and ever word they’ve ever written. When the ‘All Excess’ DVD came out a few days later, I forced my grandmother to take me to Best Buy to go get it. I watched it everyday and on the plane ride home. I sort of developed an obsession with them, creating what I soon classified as a creepy connection with them. Each of them had a place in my head and heart and I hadn’t even met them.
Matt was the protector. He made sure everyone was doing right and nothing went wrong. Zacky and Brian were the jackasses. Always joking around and just being themselves. Johnny was quiet and reserved but had another side that could rival anyone. Jimmy was just…Jimmy. In my mind I always held a picture of him holding a teddy bear that Id found online one day. He seemed like the one you could go to in every situation and just vent. He seemed like he’d be everyone’s big brother.
In December of 2008, excuse me, I must say all of it, December 5 of 2008 at City of Palms Park in Fort Myers, Florida at about nine at night at the annual 99X-Mas Ball, my life seemed to complete. The opening riffs of Critical Acclaim were played and Avenged Sevenfold was on stage. I was front row and being save from the mosh pits by people I didn’t even know. I’d survived the Shinedown crowd and got over my fight with the lead singer of Atreyu and I was finally seeing my number one, favorite band ever. Life couldn’t get any better for me. My best friend (who I’d gotten into Avenged Sevenfold with me), my step-sister (who I’d also gotten into Avenged Sevenfold), my closest friend from one of my classes (who I also got into Avenged) were all there with me. Of course, I had other friends there, that being evident when I collapsed as the sub-bass for Scream came through the speakers and they caught me. It was the best night of my life.
What I found out later is that they did an interview before they got on stage. And a signing after that. Sure, at first I was pissed cause I didn’t get to meet Matt and The Rev and Zacky, but I got to see the band. That’s all that mattered in the end.
On December 28, 2009, I’d been sleeping in late. Being winter break with no school, I had the tendency to stay up late and sleep all day. My best friend was in the northern part of Florida, on vacation. So, when my phone woke me up, the screen reading ‘1 New Text message from Jami Speed’, I was surprised. I opened it and nearly started to cry. ‘Amanda saw a Rolling Stones article online that said The Rev is dead. Verify.’. I was, and still am, the computer nerd, able to find anything and everything online. I answered Lisa with a quick ‘K.’ and started looking. I didn’t really get far. It was on Google’s top searches. The people I was following on Twitter, celebrities and friend of the band were speaking about it. In desperation, I looked to the band’s website. But that only further confirmed it. I cried. It was one of the few times I ever have. I texted Lisa back: ‘He’s gone, Lisa. The Rev is dead.’ I knew when she got that she’d be in tears just as I was. For the rest of the day I couldn’t speak without crying. For months, I couldn’t listen to Avenged Sevenfold. It just hurt too much.
But, its gotten better. I know Jimmy is watching over every fan, every person who mourns for him, everyone he’s ever known. I still haven’t been able to watch the DVDs again, and I cry like a baby every time Afterlife comes on. The world isn’t as bright with Jimmy gone. Its not complete. Part of my heart left with him, just as it did with many other people who care. And on September 5th, when Avenged Sevenfold is back in Florida, you bet your ass I’ll be there. But, I wont be wearing an A7X shirt. I’ll be wearing a The Rev/foREVer shirt. Because even though Jimmy is gone, he is still part of the band and he still is the best drummer around.
Love ya, Jimmy.
foREVer and always
I have to tell some of my past so it all makes a bit more sense.
For five years, my little brother, my little sister, and I were all mentally abused by my father. Me more so than them. I seemed to be the one who always did wrong and no one could change that. I looked up to my father at the time, being one of the biggest daddy’s girls ever. That seems to fade when your father calls you a ‘useless whore’ on a daily basis. My mom was never around, not happy being with my father and therefore not wanting to be around him. At all. I was lucky on the days I saw her, if even for five minutes before I went to bed. So, its obvious that I had been doing everything. I’d taken care of my siblings, I’d clean, I’d cook, and then I’d try to get my homework done while my father got ready for work and spoke to me how you’d speak to your worst enemy. Its easy to say I was depressed all the time and honestly, I tried to end my life a few times. I had often drown myself in music to try and help.
I remember watching MTV one day (you know, back when they had music videos on) and seeing the Bat Country video. It was such a big deal back then because Avenged was just hitting mainstream. And that was why I kinda didn’t like them. Big mainstream bands just didn’t float my boat. But, I remember seeing the video, and watching it, and looking at The Rev thinking ‘That is one insane motherfucker.’
By the middle my freshman year in high school, we were away from my father. My mom had found someone else she was, and still is, happy with. Everyone moved in together. Seven people, five dogs, and a shit load of fun. That’s summer, the one before sophomore year, I took a trip to South Carolina to spend a month with my grandmother. Having been away from my father for only about a year, I was still depressed. I often had nightmares that he’d come in and physically harm those I love. One day, I was on Quizilla, looking for new stories to read. I remember it so clearly. I was sitting in front of the big window in the dining room, the table small and round with a glass top. The chair was high enough that I had to jump to get on it. I was eating my cereal when I found a story. It didn’t take long for me to wonder who the hell the author was using in her fan fiction. I googled Avenged Sevenfold. I read the wikipedia page and I youtubed their songs.
I’m confident when I say I fell in love with their music right away. They instantly became my favorite band. Beast and the Harlot was the song that did it for me. I played that song so many times its not even funny. Its still my favorite song. It pulled me out of my last bit of depression and helped keep my nightmares at bay. I’d play the song as I slept and everything seemed to be right. I memorized their videos and ever word they’ve ever written. When the ‘All Excess’ DVD came out a few days later, I forced my grandmother to take me to Best Buy to go get it. I watched it everyday and on the plane ride home. I sort of developed an obsession with them, creating what I soon classified as a creepy connection with them. Each of them had a place in my head and heart and I hadn’t even met them.
Matt was the protector. He made sure everyone was doing right and nothing went wrong. Zacky and Brian were the jackasses. Always joking around and just being themselves. Johnny was quiet and reserved but had another side that could rival anyone. Jimmy was just…Jimmy. In my mind I always held a picture of him holding a teddy bear that Id found online one day. He seemed like the one you could go to in every situation and just vent. He seemed like he’d be everyone’s big brother.
In December of 2008, excuse me, I must say all of it, December 5 of 2008 at City of Palms Park in Fort Myers, Florida at about nine at night at the annual 99X-Mas Ball, my life seemed to complete. The opening riffs of Critical Acclaim were played and Avenged Sevenfold was on stage. I was front row and being save from the mosh pits by people I didn’t even know. I’d survived the Shinedown crowd and got over my fight with the lead singer of Atreyu and I was finally seeing my number one, favorite band ever. Life couldn’t get any better for me. My best friend (who I’d gotten into Avenged Sevenfold with me), my step-sister (who I’d also gotten into Avenged Sevenfold), my closest friend from one of my classes (who I also got into Avenged) were all there with me. Of course, I had other friends there, that being evident when I collapsed as the sub-bass for Scream came through the speakers and they caught me. It was the best night of my life.
What I found out later is that they did an interview before they got on stage. And a signing after that. Sure, at first I was pissed cause I didn’t get to meet Matt and The Rev and Zacky, but I got to see the band. That’s all that mattered in the end.
On December 28, 2009, I’d been sleeping in late. Being winter break with no school, I had the tendency to stay up late and sleep all day. My best friend was in the northern part of Florida, on vacation. So, when my phone woke me up, the screen reading ‘1 New Text message from Jami Speed’, I was surprised. I opened it and nearly started to cry. ‘Amanda saw a Rolling Stones article online that said The Rev is dead. Verify.’. I was, and still am, the computer nerd, able to find anything and everything online. I answered Lisa with a quick ‘K.’ and started looking. I didn’t really get far. It was on Google’s top searches. The people I was following on Twitter, celebrities and friend of the band were speaking about it. In desperation, I looked to the band’s website. But that only further confirmed it. I cried. It was one of the few times I ever have. I texted Lisa back: ‘He’s gone, Lisa. The Rev is dead.’ I knew when she got that she’d be in tears just as I was. For the rest of the day I couldn’t speak without crying. For months, I couldn’t listen to Avenged Sevenfold. It just hurt too much.
But, its gotten better. I know Jimmy is watching over every fan, every person who mourns for him, everyone he’s ever known. I still haven’t been able to watch the DVDs again, and I cry like a baby every time Afterlife comes on. The world isn’t as bright with Jimmy gone. Its not complete. Part of my heart left with him, just as it did with many other people who care. And on September 5th, when Avenged Sevenfold is back in Florida, you bet your ass I’ll be there. But, I wont be wearing an A7X shirt. I’ll be wearing a The Rev/foREVer shirt. Because even though Jimmy is gone, he is still part of the band and he still is the best drummer around.
Love ya, Jimmy.
foREVer and always
♠ ♠ ♠
Also Go CHECK OUT MY NEWEST STORY P.S. I love You It's A Jimmy (the Rev) story. You guys wil love this, just check it out, and pass everything along to your friends
I havent gotten many, of these stories since January...So you have any, please send um in. Or if you know somebody who's met the rev or had a memory with him, please tell them to send something in.