Diamonds in the Rough

The car ride back home was filled with a pleasant silence, something that Jasey only enjoyed every once in a while. If it were her hunter green Ford Focus back at home, there would have been music blasting as loud as the stereo could handle.

She stared out the window for most of the ride, looking at the sky and the people and the buildings that passed by. Then the thoughts of California invaded her mind. She knew she only had a few days left before Valary would come out to get her, but in the pit of her stomach she knew she wanted to go back.

She wanted to see him again, whether he wanted to see her or not.

”Jasey?” Jack’s voice called, breaking into her thoughts.
”What? Oh…” She stuttered, realizing that they were parked in the driveway.

She was unbuckled her seat belt and pushed it back. She put her hand on the door handle and was about to open it when Jack pulled her back. She looked up at him with a confused expression on her face.

He let go of her arm and ruffled his hair with it, letting out a heavy sigh, “Look Jasey, I’m not really good with saying this,” He hesitated. She was getting even more confused now, “I really like you Jase.”

A smile spread across her lips, “I really like you too Jack,” She said sweetly.

”No,” He said a little more seriously this time, “I don’t mean it like best friends liking. I mean I like you as more than just my best friend.”

She sat there stunned. She didn’t know exactly what she was supposed to say.

“I was kind of hoping,” He said nervously, looking down at the counsel between them, “If I could … I wanted to … Could I…”

She stopped his rambling, “Jack…”

His eyes flashed momentarily with a burning fire, before her leaned over and cupped her cheeks, closing the space between them. Her breath was starting to get caught in her throat. His licked his lips right before kissed her. Her breathing stopped for a split second and the world had stopped.

The only error in this equation was that her mind was else where.

He pulled away and tried to gauge her reaction.

She opened her mouth to speak, but the words she wanted to say wouldn’t come out. She shut her mouth quickly and spun around in the seat, opening the door and shutting it behind her.

She gave Jack a sympathetic expression before taking off down the block. She sprinted past a good four or five houses before she slowed down to a comfortable jog. She took a left at the corner and slowed even more to a walk.

Her head was spinning in endless circles right now.

She kissed Jack.
One of her best friends in the whole world that she liked forever and she just kissed him.

She could go back to his car and tell him that she liked him as more than just a friend too. She should run back to him and apologize for her stupid actions. She would be happy again and he might be able to heal her wounds that were still open.

Jasey let out a heavy sigh before noticing that she was in front of the park that her cousin Zack used to always bring to when he was meeting the guys when she was in Maryland for a month during the summers.

She smiled as she remembered all the stupid shit she could get Alex to do, like hang from the monkey bars in only his underwear while singing a Blink-182 song.

Tiredly, she made her way over to the swings and sat down on one, slowly pushing her feet against the ground and rocking back and forth. She let out another sigh and attempted to sort through the pile of mush forming in her head.

“Where to begin?” She spoke quietly to herself.

She liked Jack. She liked Jack a lot. He was always the goof ball during the summer that made her laugh uncontrollably for hours on end. He could take something so simple and innocent and turn it into some sort of sex joke in less than a second. There wasn’t a moment that went by where she wasn’t smiling or feeling good about herself when Jack was around.

She may have fallen for him some odd summers ago, but that doesn’t mean her fire burned out. She still had a soft spot for him and a weakness when she heard his voice. She nearly passed out when she went to see All Time Low in San Diego with Cassie last fall, but that was also because of all the “hardcore” moshing they were doing.

And the kiss today just pretty much sealed the deal.
She was into him and he was into her.

But then there was Brian……

He made Jasey feel so many different things that she didn’t even know were possible to feel.

She felt angry and hated him for such a long time after what had happened between them, but then found forgiveness and felt a friendship being reborn. She felt compassion when he pulled her aside on the stage during their last show. She felt excitement when she got her nose pierced with him and she felt so protected when he had taken down that shady Ryan figure in the bar. She felt welcomed in his arms and she felt guilty when she left that voicemail on his phone.

Yet the strongest feeling that over took her out of all of those was the feeling of love. Never in her wildest dreams had she ever thought she was going to fall in love. She always thought of love as just something a person said to another. Never did it cross her mind that it was the best feeling a person could have.

She was in love with Brian Elwin Haner Jr.
She was in fucking love with him.

The pile of mush in her brain had magically sorted itself into two piles.

On the left side was Team Jack and on the right side was Team Brian.

Now for the hard part; which side to choose?
The guys who always made her smile and feel good or the guy who put her through so many different emotions and showed her was love is?

Every part of her neurological system was telling her to go with Jack because he was a better choice than Brian, not only because of health reasons, but for mental reasons as well.

However, nearly every bone and muscle in her body was screaming for her to pick Brian. Even her heart was shouting at her to pick him.

Her eyes shifted from the ground up to the sky and trees above her.

“Dear God, why can’t you just choose for me?”

She felt a vibrating sensation in the front pocket of her hoodie accompanied by the chorus from Your Guardian Angel by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. She stuck her hand inside and pulled out her phone, looking down at the screen in shock.

Synyster Gates