Eyes of the Wolf

45

Finally I collapse on the wet porch, the cement already warming in the sun despite all the cold water exposure it received. Sparrow, his blond hair brunette with all the water in it, gives a tired laugh and flops down in the puddle too, his shirt and shorts sticking to him as my fur was undoubtedly clinging to me. The hose lied dead in the grass, the faucet turned off seconds ago. The metal tip is squeezed together like a chewed fast food straw.

“She’s gonna kill me,” Sparrow mutters, apparently seeing the same thing I am. I wag my tail and put my nose on his neck, and he jumps. My tail sends water over us both. He laughs and looks down at himself. “So much for a change of clothes.”

I roll over until I’m all the way on my side, my tongue lolling into the water. The sun starts heating my side, even as the water beneath me cools the other. Next to me, Sparrow rolls over and looks at me.

“You look absolutely inane like that, you know that, right?”

I don’t quite know the adjective, but I make a whining growl sound anyway. I get the gist, at least.

The door opened behind me.

“Heavens, Adam,” the human groans exasperatedly. His head tilts her way, and he says, “Well, I guess she likes the hose.”

“Well,” she says, imitating him slightly. I glance up and see her look around. “Could you at least have watered the lawn instead of the porch? Nothing’s gonna grow there.”

“Your lawn is plenty wet, Mom.” I hear a small splat as he drops his head back into the water.

“And so are you. You look like you’ve been dropped in a swimming pool.”

“It’s hot out here.”

“I told you to hose her off, not you.” She’s trying really hard to sound scolding.

“She stole the hose.”

There’s a heavy pause, and she walks to the hose and drags it to the spigot. “I guess she did. Is it leaking?”

“Yeah, there’s a pretty big spot where water’s coming out,” he answers in a tone that’s almost solemn. I hear water run again.

“I don’t see anything.”

Sparrow gets to his feet. “Right there at the end.”

Water impacts skin, and he yelps as she says, “Very funny. Go get me the hammer before I shoot water up your nose.”

“Yes Mom.” I hear the grin in his tone as he squelches down the walkway to the garage. I rise to a more sternal position and watch him go. I’ve never seen him so relaxed. It’s odd, but it’s…nice.

He reemerges with a hammer seconds later and gives it to the human. She starts hammering the metal in the hose; I assume it’s to return it to its previously round state. The sound of hammer on metal, and metal on the porch, nails into my eardrums, so I get up and start exploring the yard.

:o3

Sun-dried from my running around in the grass, I am allowed to crawl into the back seat of the truck, though it is a very tight squeeze. But it is better than lying in the hot bed.

Now that he is alone in the car with me, Sparrow is tense again, and keeps glancing at me. We’ve gone a few miles before he asks quietly, “Do you even want to go back to the pack yet?”

I whine a no. His eyes divert from the road again in favor of me, and then he gives a shaky laugh. “I can’t tell if that’s a yes or a no, you know that, right?”

I grumble at him.

He gives another self-conscious laugh. “Two barks for a yes, one for a no?”

I bark. Once.

He nods, seeming relieved, then looks to me again before returning his attention to the road. “Let’s get you some clothes.”

:o3

I relaxed in the front seat, glad that I wasn’t crammed in the back anymore. One good thing about being tiny, I decided, was that I never seemed to have to cramp in anywhere.

My new shirt was cool—a small indigo T-shirt with an eagle swooping in at whoever viewed it from the front. The hem had pine tree silhouettes stretching toward my ribcage. I felt kinda odd going all commando underneath, but I consoled myself that it was better than having Adam go bra-shopping for me. Even in my new, brazen, lupine mentality, that would cross the line. So I was in new boxers and sweatpants as well—again, better that than panties.

Adam was on the edge of his seat, his knuckles white on the wheel. I guess it’s because I’ve seen where he goes when he’s on his in-town excursions. But does he think I’ll think less of him now? But his mom was so nice.

I kinda wished I was allowed to be a human around other people, but I wasn’t sure how many people would recognize me—just one would be enough to really make things sticky for me, I was sure. But I would’ve really liked being able to talk to that lady.

Wait—maybe he wasn’t self-conscious about my meeting his mom, at least for the whole “my mom is so embarrassing” factor. Was it because she was human?

I racked my brains for any wolves in the pack born to humans, but drew nothing but blanks. Should I ask him? No, not directly. If I was wrong, I’d feel really stupid.

But I really wanted to know…

“What’s up?” I asked. Can’t go wrong with the basics, I thought uncertainly to myself, trying not to second-guess what I had already said.

“Nothing.”

Come on, Maya, did you really not see that one coming?

“You were fine earlier,” I pushed. “Now you’re all tense again. What’s wrong?”

He kept quiet. I sighed and glared at the footprint on the dash.

I would get no more from him like that, so I let it drop.

:o3

Much as I would have loved to wear my snazzy new clothes, I became a wolf in the car again while Sparrow remained outside, to save us both from embarrassment. Now I heel at his side like an orange hulk of a dog as we walk a park that was probably abandoned before the sun had gone down. I try not to step on the droplets that fall from my mouth periodically; sun or no sun, it is very hot outside. I am happy when Sparrow walks to the side and sits on a bench so that I can lie down and rest in the grass. With my dim eyesight, I can only see that it is dark, and the moon is bright. The stars, for the first time in weeks, are not visible to me. I have not encountered skyglow in a long time, and I am disheartened by the limitations it sets on the visible eternity I have become so accustomed to viewing. We are far away from the pack territory, and many new and interesting smells tickle at my nose, my human brain the only think keeping me from pursuing them to their source or their end. A familiar smell tickles at my nose, and I lean forward, trying to pursue it. Very familiar scent. Like…dog? Not dog…

Sparrow clears his throat, and I turn with my ears forward, distracted from my nose. Ever since the short conversation in the car, he has not spoken to me.

“When my dad was bitten, he was found by a pack and didn’t want to stay. He thought that he could be human, even though he had…another half.” Every word sounds strained, nervous, and I worry at every syllable that he will stop before he reaches the next. Simpler I may be at the moment, but I know that when I am human I will want to remember this.

“He returned to where he was before, as a human. He had a fiancé then, so he stayed with her.” He clears his throat. “She got pregnant. Apparently around the time when his changes were getting out of hand. Wolves don't normally have contact with people. He didn’t know she was pregnant—I don’t quite know how that worked, but…anyway…they left on weird terms, I guess. She’s always seems pretty civil when it comes to him, so…maybe she just puts a face on, or something. But she had me, and I grew up okay.”

He stops there. It takes me a moment to figure out that he doesn’t plan to continue, but when I do, I whine. When his eyes turn to me, I rest my head on his lap and look up at him, my tail swishing through the grass. His hand smoothes back the fur on my head.

“I can’t tell what you’re asking me, Maya,” he whispers to me. I whine again, shorter this time, and close my eyes. I am not asking him for anything, I realize. I want to comfort my packmate. My friend.

We sit in the park in a comfortable silence until we fall asleep.