Did We All Fall Down?

*Gerard's POV*

Thank God after about fifteen minutes I was able to slow the racing thoughts in my head and focus.

"My client is truly remorseful. And we know that his alcohol levels are not an excuse for what he's done. But the torture he's putting himself through -- the guilt that's suffocating him is certainly worse punishment than anything you could sentence him with." Robert Barker said earnestly, putting a hand on John's shoulder.

I had to clench my jaw to stop it from dropping open. A beast like John wasn't capable of remorse. I hoped the jury and judge could see that. The bullshit his lawyer was spewing couldn't get him out of such a mess. It just can't, I convinced myself.

I looked at Lavender. Her eyes were glazed with tears. Each word that came from Barker's mouth was like slap in the face. Looking down I saw her fists were clenched. I put my hand on her shoulder, reassuring her. She sighed quietly but after a moment, shrugged me off.

I glanced over at the jury. Most of their expressions were completely unreadable. One man looked slightly pitying, towards John or us, I wasn't sure. A woman beside him looked disgusted though she attempted to hide it. I scanned the rest of the jury: just blank faces.

Barker finished his opening statement and Lavender was called to the stand. She looked terrified as she sat down beside the judge. The bailiff swore her in and Andrew began to question her. She answered every one of his questions well. Then it was Barker's turn.

I saw Lavender tense up as Robert Barker stood and walked towards her. He was an attractive middle-aged man but his slick attitude detracted from his appearance.

"You've been dating John Mathers for quite a while, is that correct?"

"We were dating. For two months. But we had gone out a couple of years before and broken up." Lavender said.

"And why did you break up?" Barker asked.

"The first time it was just because he kept having these outbursts where he would yell at me. I didn't want to give up so I suggested couples therapy but he said no. I just didn't want to continue living with the verbal abuse, so I ended it. The second time -- he had started hitting me. I was too afraid to go to the police. But then he... he raped me. I should have gone to the police before he had the chance to --"

Barker cut her off, "I see. You've already told us about that." I could tell he was panicking. He knew he shouldn't have taken on John's case but he did, and now he was stuck in a trial he couldn't win. I suppressed a smile.

And then it was my turn. I made my way to the stand, passing Lavender as she went to sit back down at our table.

"You did well," I whispered to her. She gave me a small smile. I took my seat and the bailiff approached me with a small leather-bound bible in his hand.

"Place your left hand on the bible and raise your right hand." I did as I was told.

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?" he asked in a bored manner. He must have said that line a thousand times.

"I do," I said.

Oh God. Please, don't let me screw this up.