You Do it for the Thrill

Nick and I pulled up to the American Apparel outlet in downtown Tempe.

“We are going to get you some good clothing jawn,” Nick said as we joined side by side on the sidewalk.
He practically dragged me into the store and he went around so fast I could barely see him picking out clothes.
When he finally finished, he tossed a shitload of clothes at me.

After outfit and outfit and after combination and combination, I finally found a plain, purple, tri-blend, racerback tank top and white colored slim slack corduroy pants that seemed to suit me well.
“Damn, let’s hope David doesn’t drop dead when he sees you,” Nick winked at me as I showed him the outfit.
I shoved him slightly, “I can’t believe I’m doing this,” I didn’t really mean to say out loud.
“Doing what?” Nick raised an eyebrow.
I sighed; I would have to explain, “My one fear of change, my one fear of letting people get the best of me. Who would have ever thought that David Blaise would be the one to change me?” I shook my head.
Nick nodded, not saying anything more. There was nothing more to say.

Nick was the only person I ever had let under my shell, really. It’s not even because I liked him like that or anything. Him being so close to me was never something either of us noticed because we had been born close, practically. We were like siblings from day one in 6th grade. I was so thankful to have a help like Nick.

→
It was about 6:45 and I was just finishing getting ready.
“Let me see!” Nick demanded from outside the door of his sister’s old room.
We were at his parent’s house; they were letting us stay there for as long as we needed.
“Chill Nikita,” I whined as he knocked viciously.
A minute later, the door was unlocked and open. Nick stood there, smiling at his choice of my outfit.

I truly felt like my old self for once. I don’t know if it was because I was in Jen’s old room or just simply because I was in Arizona. Either way, I felt...happy.
I had the pants and top I had chosen, some mascara, eyeliner, green flip-flops and my gold bird necklace from Urban Outfitters.
“There’s my Julia,” Nick grinned, coming over and giving me a huge hug.
I felt almost completely whole. There was just one thing I needed.

→
Nick offered to drive me to the park but I refused. I mean, it was a further walk than it used to be, since I was at his house and not my own, but I didn’t want Nick to try and save me or anything this time. I wanted to be alone with David and that was that.

It was a few minutes before 7:00 when I strolled up to the park gate. I saw a boy sitting on a swing, head down and not swinging, just kind of swaying.
The grass was sort of crunchy as I walked over it and it drew the boy out of his trance, causing him to look up at me.

The pale, blue eyes I now looked into were full of worry. His expression seemed to soften a bit when he looked up at me. He was clad in a plain black v-neck, dark gray skinny jeans and a pair of black and white checkered Vans. He was looking pretty good and I was having a hard time not just jumping into his arms.
“Julia,” His voice was barely above a whisper.
I took a few steps closer, “Hey David.”
He smiled slightly, “I didn’t know if you would figure it out or not…But I knew you would come to Arizona.”
I shook my head, chuckling, “Of course I would, you know me too well David.”
“But that’s the problem isn’t it?” He questioned, standing up, coming towards me, “You don’t want me to know you too well, you don’t want to be close like we once were.”

I swallowed hard and closed my eyes, thinking deeply before speaking again, “I don’t even know anymore. I used to be so afraid of letting people in and having someone close to me because of how easily they could turn on me,” My eyes fluttered open and stared at David accusingly, “But I realized today that there had been someone inside my shell all along and how I was being foolish for worrying. Then I thought of you and how until Claire was in the picture, you had never done anything to hurt me.”
David smiled, rubbing his hand awkwardly on the back of his neck; “Those things you told me really woke me up. I was being an asshole, Julia. I can’t even believe…” His voice trailed off as he shook his head.

“David, you already apologized,” I sighed, taking another step closer to him.
His eyes bore into mine, “I don’t think I can apologize enough,” Then his eyes widened, “It’s totally my fault that the whole thing with that guy happened, Jules. Oh my god, I’m so terrible,” He put his face in his hands.
I chuckled lightly and he looked up at me like I was insane.
“What’s so funny?” He asked and his eyebrows rose.
“You,” I smiled, taking his hand in mine.
David’s eyes shifted to our hands intertwined together and back up at me, “I love you, Julia. You know that right?”
I nodded, smiling. I remembered when he would say that to me on Sundays back in High School. He would just say it out of nowhere. There was no other point than to tell me the facts, he loved me and he always would.
“I love Emily too, you know that right?” His expression shifted to nervous.
I chuckled and nodded, “Of course, Dave.”

He slowly reached into the pocket of his skinny jeans, pulling something out but not showing it to me, “I know you don’t like cheesy or traditional things,” He began, his eyes were glued to his hands, following their every move, “So I’m not going to be cheesy,” He looked up to me, worry evident now, “You know that I love you and I know that even though you told me that you can’t believe you thought I was the one, that you love me too,” He stuttered slightly, “I’ve been waiting so long to do this,” A nervous laugh escaped from his lips, “Ever since our first time, I’ve been contemplating it, as weird as it sounds. I’ve had this set up since our senior year, Jules. When you left, I felt so dumb, like I wasted my time on all of this. I even remember what I was going to say,” I wish he would just let it out, even though this nervous thing is really cute, “It was cheesy, obviously. I was just going to do the traditional thing and right here in this spot too,” He pointed to where we were now standing, the sandbox.

The beloved sandbox; I had always loved those things. David and I would sit here on our Sundays while we talked and we’d build castles and such, we were an interesting couple, I guess.

“But I’ve had to rethink that, obviously. I guess this whole thing was like a test. You passed that test. You coming to find me proves that you this is now a legitimate question, right? Basically, what I’m getting at is,” He paused, looking down at his hand and holding it out, revealing a tiny jewelry box, big enough for a…. my jaw dropped like a bomb, “I want to marry you, Jules.”
I didn’t even think about it, I just jumped into David’s arms, wrapping my legs securely around his waist and kissed him fervently.

Who would have thunk it? Who would have thought that I, Julia Carpenter (Or whoever I was), would have the boy of my dreams all to myself forever? Not me, I’ll tell you that right now. I was shocked but at the same time, I don’t think I’ve ever been happier.
Finally, I felt like myself. I felt real. I felt like I was who I was supposed to be all along. I was meant to be here, with David and Emily and the park and my parents and David’s band and Nick Santino and Arizona. The place that I once swore would be the death of me was now what made me whole.

All of a sudden, all of my friends popped out from nowhere it seemed, yelling and whooping and cheering.
Even Mrs. Blaise was there. I was confused.
“Finally!” John O’Callaghan jumped up and down.
“I don’t get it,” I forced a smile.
“They knew about this thing,” David pointed to everyone in a clump.
“Even you, Mrs. Blaise? You should be an actress,” I chuckled.
She smiled brightly, “I know, I am really good, aren’t I?”

Then Nick walked out, “Nick! Did you know too?” I exclaimed.
He blushed, “Mayyybe.”
“Asshole! You watched me through all of that. Dickwad,” I stuck my tongue out at him.
He held up his hands in surrender.
“Don’t kill him, I made him keep it from you,” David smiled, squeezing my hand lightly.
“For how long?” I asked.
He sighed, thinking, “Since I left the note. Before I left, I called Nick and told him what was up and he thought it was a good idea, go figure.”
“Yeah,” Nick agreed, “At first I was pissed as hell and cussing and shit, then I thought about it and I realized that this,” He pointed between David and I, “Needed to happen.”

I let go of David’s hand and ran over to my Nick. My Nick Santino, my best friend since Middle School. I love him forever and always. He lifted me up in his arms and spun me around.
“Nick, you’re my best friend, don’t ever forget it, okay?” I smiled as he put me down.
He nodded, smiling as well, “Never in a million years, Jules.”