Confessions of a Problem Child

Lacey sat in the back of the car as she allowed Colleen and her brother Tommy to continuously ask questions.

"So what's it like back home?" Tommy asked, glancing at his sister in the mirror as he drove toward their favorite restaurant.

"Fine." She lied, looking out her window.

"That's it?" Colleen asked, "Just fine? Nothing exciting?'

"No. Same old same old."

"Something's up baby girl. I may be away at college, but I still know you really well." Tommy said with a chuckle.

Lacey sighed, "I'll talk to you about it later."

He nodded, dropping the conversation and letting silence fill the car.

~~~~~

Lacey tried to stifle her laughter as her brother talked about his over active room mate.

"And he literally ran down the hallway stark naked screaming for about an hour."

Colleen laughed, soda almost coming out of her nose, "You're kidding?"

Tommy smiled, leaning back in his chair, "Nope. The dean almost got involved. The only reason he put clothes back on was because I told him he'd lose his scholarship." He looked over at his sister, who he noticed had a large grin taking over her pale features, "What's so funny?" He asked her sarcastically, watching as she picked her head up from starring at her Dr. Pepper to look at her brother.
"Nothing," she said, "I just missed this." She looked from her brother to her aunt, giving them both closed-mouth smiles.

Colleen leaned over, taking Lacey's hand in hers, "I missed it too sweetie. Now," she looked down at her menu in front of her, "what kind of fish are you getting?"

Each time Lacey came to visit her aunt, she brought her to her favorite family owned seafood restaurant, Pete's. Ever since her brother left for college he'd been joining the girls on their adventure, and Lacey wouldn't have it any other way.

Her and her brother had always been close. He'd always been the one for her to confide in. He was there for her when she needed him, and when he was still at him he would occasionally drop everything just to hold his baby sister while she cried. He never asked questions, because they both knew Lacey wouldn't say a thing. She'd talk when she was ready, and most of the time she never said anything at all.
There were times when her sadness got to her so much, that she couldn't cry for days. And when she did she would end up running to the bathroom to puke her guts out.

***
She wanted to cut. So badly wanted to cut, but she knew she couldn't because her brother was not nearly far enough away.
She knew he'd assume something was up. He always did.
It was almost like their brains were connected in some weird way.

Instead, she settled for crying her eyes out on her bed, much like she had everyday anyways.
Today was no exception, and Lacey was starting to wonder if maybe she should get help.

Then she remembered: They didn't know she did this to begin with, and she couldn't just suddenly tell them that she needed help with her depression, because they would instantly wonder why their 'perfect' daughter wanted help with a depression they didn't know she had in the first place.

A knock sounded at her door and she quickly rubbed at her eyes to make it seem as though she hadn't been crying; She knew it was Tommy.

"Come in!" She called out, quickly grabbing her laptop, making sure it looked like she was actually doing something.

Tommy opened the door, smiling lightly at his sister, who smiled back.
"You okay? I thought I heard crying."

Lacey was used to lying on the spot now, and glancing at her laptop she knew just what to say, "I was watching something Marie sent me. It was a clip from The Notebook." She smiled, satisfied with her lie.

"Aahh, I see." She'd been caught; She knew that tone of voice, and Tommy didn't believe her in the slightest.

Looking at him wide eyed, she swallowed the lump in her throat.

"Yeah, c'mon sis. Tell me whats up." He walked toward her until he was standing directly at the end of her bed, arms crossed over his chest.

Sighing, she closed her lap top and ran a shaky hand threw her hair.

"Mom and dad." She whispered, not daring to look her brother; She'd break down if she did.

She felt the bed sink, and Tommy laid a hand on her knee.
"They aren't even here; for another 3 days in the least. What happened before they left this morning?"

Lacey sighed, moving to sit on her brothers lap and wrapping her arms around his waist. It had become instinct for them to do now.

"There was a lot of yelling, and I just," She broke down before she could finish her sentence, digging her face into her brothers chest as he rubbed circles into her back.

"Tell me." He whispered.

"They expect me to be, so. So perfect." She let out a loud sob.

Lacey felt her brothers head nodding against her own, telling her to continue.

"And I'm not. I didn't even say anything to her. She just yelled at me."

"Mom?" Tommy asked her, slightly confused.

Lacey nodded, tightening the hold she had on her brother.

"It's okay Lace. I can talk to them if you want."

"No! No it'll just make it worse. It's fine, really. I promise."

Tommy sighed, not convinced, "It's not fine Lace. You're crying. I don't like it when my baby sister cries."

Lacey smiled against Tommy's chest, happy to hear him say that.

"I don't know what to do. I'm not perfect like they expect me to be."

***

As Lacey ate her tuna grinder, she listened to the conversation her brother and aunt were having about college. She was going to be a junior this year, and she knew that soon she'd have to think of a major.

"Lace?" Lacey looked up from her sandwich to look at her brother, "What are your plans tomorrow?"

She shrugged. Normally she walked around LA, attempting not to get mugged. She supposed she might as well continue her tradition.

"I was just going to walk around. Is that okay Colleen?" She turned to her aunt with the smile she knew the woman couldn't resist.

"Of course! I think Tommy wanted to go with you." She glanced at Tommy, and he nodded, looking at his sister for the okay.

Lacey smiled, "Sure, that's fine."

"Okay, and don't get lost like last year." Tommy smirked as Lacey blushed at the memory of the hobo that scared her off, resulting in her losing her brother in a large mass of people.

"That's not funny." She glared, a smile still evident on her lips.

"I thought so."

The three laughed together, and Lacey felt her heart swell up with happiness. And for the first time in a while, she was happy, and more then excited for her summer to start. A summer without her parents pestering.
And maybe for the first time, she could actually stop cutting herself.

She silently scoffed; She knew that wasn't going to happen for as long as she had to deal with her parents at all.