The Journal

Hello imaginary internet people.

It’s me again. Imagine that.

It is… 10 o’clock AM on January 2, 2010.

I’m at Trevor’s house. I slept over last night. I couldn’t be around my family…

I’m still mad if you were wondering. Can you blame me though? I don’t know… Maybe you can. Maybe you think I’m a baby and that I overreacted about the whole thing and that I should be proud of who I am and not let what others say get to me so much.

Blah, blah, blah… I’ve heard it all before thank you. This is just one of those situations where I think if you haven’t been in the situation yourself you can’t fully appreciate exactly what it feels like to be so looked down upon by your own family. There’s just only so much someone can take of anything. That sort of stuff has caused me to breakdown more than I care to count.

It’s odd that Mama has never said anything. You see when I break down I cut. (Say what you will.) I break down so much that I have no idea how Mama has never noticed…

Anyway, enough of that rant… I don’t feel like thinking about it anymore.

Trevor’s taking a shower right now. Missie is next to me rubbing her head against my arm trying to get me to pet her. I know I’ve said this before, but I want a cat so bad. I know I’ll never get one though so…

I’m actually very awake considering 10 o’clock is early in the morning for me. I always sleep good at Trevor’s. We always sleep in his bed and for any who have ever used a guy as a pillow, you know what I’m talking about.

I know what some of you (most?) are thinking right now. No, we are not dating. He’s just my friend. (I can just feel the knowing nods you’re making at your computer now…)

OK, new topic…

I really want to see Bunny. He’s my absolute best friend. Don’t get me wrong I love Trevor to death, but Bunny is just… I’m not sure how to explain it really.

You know how you’ve got so many friends and you love them all, but there’s one that’s different in a way that you can’t put your finger on? Most call that friend their best friend. I guess that’s what Bunny is to me.

He’s in Jacksonville, Florida right now visiting his parents. I hate them.

Bunny lives with his older sister Margret because he could not live with his parents. Bunny is bisexual and when he told his parents they pretty much exploded on him. I really wish that their heads would explode.

I want him back here. That way, for one, he won’t be with his parents, and for two, so he can be with me… He’s what I like to call my ‘happy pill buddy’. He makes me smile so easily with how silly he can be, but he’s also always there for me when I need him.

He won’t be back till Monday though. He’ll probably come and spend the night. I hope so anyway.

I kind of don’t want to go home right now. One of my crazy aunts is there right now. She has four young kids. She’s a bit odd. Her husband left her about a year ago. I can’t really figure her out. I think she might be where I get my ADHD from.

Trevor’s sisters are gone thank God. Their mom took them out to a friend’s birthday party. We’re in the house by ourselves now. (Get your minds out of the gutter…)

Trevor just got out of the shower.

He asked me what I was doing and when I told him I was talking to imaginary internet people. He laughed at me and called me ‘Silly’.

I want to steal the shirt he just put on. It’s an AFI t-shirt. I’m wearing a Lost Prophets t-shirt.

Is it odd that Trevor has light blue boxers with pink bunnies on them? He says that they’re ‘pimpin’. Except for he can’t not make a stupid face when he says it. He’s so stupid…

I really wish you could see what I’m seeing. He’s in an AFI t-shirt and the boxers I just described on his hands and knees, his butt in the air, and making growling noises at Missie who happens to just be sitting there looking at him like he’s an idiot.

No he’s not high or drunk I promise.

He’s just silly. It’s cute though so that’s OK.

I really want some food…

I’m like… starving… That just hit me. I think I may call Mama to come and take us to lunch with her when she has her lunch break.

Yummy! Greasy fast food! Eh… it’s better than nothing I suppose.

I want some new lip rings. I don’t think I’ve mentioned before that I have snakebites. Well… I have snakebites. There. Now you know.

Anyway, I haven’t gotten new ones in a long time. I’ve got normal studs in right now. I have a bad habit of playing with them with my tongue. Mama wants to get her tongue pierced. She thinks that I should get it done with her.

I told Alex, Trevor, and Bunny.

Alex said, “Sexy.”

Trevor said, “Ow… Cool… But Ow…”

Bunny said, “I want one!”

I think I may get it done. It’ll be something new at the least. And if I don’t like it I can always just take the piercing out and let it close.

Nick has a single lip piercing. He wants to get those industrial piercings in his ears. I think it’d look cool. Mama’s a bit hesitant because she’s afraid that it’ll get infected too easily. Paul’s kind of talking her into it though.

Paul is Mama’s daytime employer. He works at a tattoo and piercing shop. “Paul’s P’s and T’s” is what it’s called. Clever, no? He’s really nice. He gave me a pair of snakebites shaped like candy canes as an early Christmas present.

Aw, poor baby. Trevor just got scratched by Missie. I find it kind of funny because he was being so stupid. He’s making puppy eyes at me and holding his hand out and saying, “Kiss it bettah!”

I did so he’d stop with the eyes. He’s way too good at that.

OK, now he’s trying to tickle me so I’m going to have to go!

Bye for now imaginary people!

-CD