Status: working on it
Something Went Wrong
finally
“So you’re here for 10 days? Are you kidding me?” I asked in awe as we sat in the pizza place after the game with everyone. I couldn’t stop looking at him. I couldn’t stop myself from starting. It was him. It was really him.
“Yeah. I’m here for about 10 days, well almost, actually just 8 because it took a lot of time to travel and I will have to get back too, so we have to depart next Sunday.” He smiled looking at me and squeezing my hand.
“We?” Dawn asked
“Yeah. The guys are here too, but they went to meet their family today, They will be here tomorrow tho.”
“So how come you came?” Sara asked the question I wanted to ask but couldn’t, since all the words got lost in my mind by only gazing in his beautiful blue eyes.
“Well we had some free time. We will be having a tour soon, not anything big tho” he hurried to see when the others mouth dropped and became wide eyed. “we gotta work hard how because this will make our brake the career we could have. We had the chance to meet our friends and families, and then we will go and practically live in our van and the studio. We have to start recording as soon as we get back, so it will be quite… busy, to say the least”
“You barely had any time until now” Jimmy said “We used to have so much fun until summer when you just disappeared and left…” I got up remembering the painful memories
“Excuse me for a minute” I said and headed for the restroom. The others at the table looked at each other, but then looked at Lucas.
“I’ll get her from the restroom but you’re the one who has to clear this” she said getting up and coming after me.
“I know. I will as soon as we go home”…..
….”Hey are you okay” Dawn said coming up behind me, squeezing my shoulder and leaning on me
“Yeah” I said taking a deep breath. “Did you all know about this?” I asked looking at her trough the mirror
“Yeah” I closed my eyes “Sorry. He told us to stay quiet and keep it a secret. He wanted a surprise” she said squeezing my arms.
“Everyone else knew?” I said
“Yeah” I smiled sadly to myself
“Well he always never knew how to keep a secret from me. I could always read him just by one look. Now I couldn’t see him so he finally managed…” I smiled turning around
“You okay?” she said smiling
“He’s back”
“Yeah”
“Pity that not for some more time”
“Well let’s make this short one a memorable one” she said tugging on my shirt. “Ready to come back out?” I looked back in the mirror and turned back with a smile. I haven’t seen him for 4 months. He’s not here for long but I won’t waste my time sulking. “He’ll explain everything to you as you head home” she said thinking about the same thing as me. Why he left
“Did he tell you guys already?”
“No. He will tell you first, and then he will explain it to us too, later on this night”
“Alright” I nodded as we reached our table.
“…yeah, I remember that night” Lucas laughed “I got a cold and couldn’t get rid of it soon enough. I had to stay in bed for 2 weeks”
“Are you talking about the night when you all got wasted and ended up a little… hmm, let’s say…wet?” I smiled sitting back down, but this switching places with Dawn so I could sit next to Jimmy and see Lucas clearly.
“Little wet? You started the watering in the morning” Jimmy said poking me in the ribs “We got such a huge cold”
“Yeah. I could barely breath through my mouth, let alone my nose” Paul said throwing a straw at me
“Well that’s what you get for sleeping on the ground when there were courts put up and there was a house like what, a mile away?” I said throwing it back to him “And you…” I said poking Jimmy “shouldn’t complain, because if I remember correctly Dawn and I went to you all the time bringing you anything you needed that your mom forbid, plus that was the time you and Dawn got together, so shush” Dawn blushed madly while Jimmy only turned a little red on the cheeks.
“Right. Right. Alright. So I have to thank you for that don’t i?” he asked, I nodded and we all laughed as he got on one knee barely fitting in the tight place there was and bowed in front of me thanking me about 5-6 times.
“I remember you going to Luke tho” Paul said with a smile
“Yeah. He demanded that I was the one who caused this so I have to serve him until he gets well, so whenever your mom worked…” I said turning to Luke “I was the one to make you food. Whatever you wished for”
“Yeah. Remember when I asked you to bring me ice cream?” he smiled warmly at me.
“Yeah. It was like, what, the second day of the cold…?”
“Yeah. And I got scolded and told off for it, plus my mom heard it and got in trouble for it too, but in the end you did bring me some. Every day” he said with that lopsided smile I always loved.
“Yeah. It did make you better… didn’t it?”
“So that’s why you were in bed for so long”
“Oh yeah. And the fact that she…” he said nudging towards me “always came. Every day after practice”
“And sometimes stayed too” I smiled at the memory “Remember when I had a match and you were so sorry that you couldn’t come that you were whining all day while I was there, so in the end you could barely talk and your mom threw me out, then she had to go work, so I waited in the back of the house until she left, sneaked back in and ended up sleeping there?”
“Oh yeah. I held on to you and didn’t let go, so when it was already 11p.m. or so you finally gave up going home and you stayed with me. You stinked so bad”
“Well excuse me. I had a game that afternoon. And a big one for that matter. We won 3-0 at volleyball against a really good team. But I didn’t stink that much. And just so you know, it was your fault. You left me like 24 messages so I couldn’t take a shower there. I taught Something was wrong and it was just that you wanted to see how the game ended. I had a shower at you and you let me that huge football shirt you had. It was like sleeping in a tent.”…
We ended up staying there until 3 p.m. talking about all the good and embarrassing memories we shared, but finally finished and started to get ready. We paid for our food and went to the parking lot to say bye from each other
“Then at 9 in front of Butterfly.” Dawn said as she got in the car with Jimmy “See you soon, and have some rest too” she winked and they left with Paul and Sarah behind them. I ended up staying with Lucas to get some explanations about what happened 4 months ago. I got in his car and we drove to his former place. The drive was silent with just a few glances from the side and small smiles. His parents worked in Chicago now, but still kept the little one room apartment he used. He still had his stuff in it.
As we got in I noticed it hasn’t changed a bit, It still had those blue, green and brown colored walls we once painted together, the furniture was in it’s place, It wasn’t the same tho. Dust covered the whole place. It was cleaned a few times, but that wasn’t the same. It was exactly like a place where no one lived for a long time.
The place was pretty empty tho. No clothes hanged on the hook, no glasses on the little table in front of the couch where we used to put our feet on when we watched a movie, no dishes in the sink, no stove with irremovable spots from a pasta that was too long on the fire, because we had too much fun. The whole place seemed familiar and strange in the same time. i put down the crimson rose on the little table
"You like it?" he smiled
“Yeah.You haven’t packed out” I said noticing his luggage still next to his bed, untouched .
“I wanted to just throw it in, and get to the game as soon as possible” I smiled as I remembered. Every time one of us had a game the other one ran, leaving behind everything, to get there and cheer as loud as we could
“The good old days” I said with a smile
“Hey. They weren’t that old” he said dropping his keys on the table.
“Last game: 5 months and 2 weeks ago. Rainy Saturday. You won the game and we went out to our cars. We were the last ones to leave and in the middle of the road the car ran out of gas, so we had to run in the rain for 20 minutes. We were trenched…” I said turning back to him and looking him in the eyes
“Yep, and then when we finally got home, just to make it worse the electricity went out so there was no heating nor warm water. We quickly changed and got in bed with, getting from the basement 2 other covers so we wouldn’t freeze to death.” He said. We laughed at it. That was fun
“I still have your hoodie from then”
“I was wondering” he said coming closer. When he stopped we just looked at each other, but then the memory of him leaving a note for us 2 days before vacation saying that he and the guys went to New York chasing their dreams came to my mind, and I couldn’t help but feel like crap again. I jumped in his arms and just hugged him. Hugged him like there was no tomorrow and just hold on to him as he did to me.
After about 10 minutes of nothing more them us hugging like the world was about to end and me crying like a baby, he finally let me down to the ground but still kept the tight hug.
“I missed you so much” I whispered
“Me too” he whispered in my ears making me shiver, especially as I heard that his voice cracked. He then let go of me and smiled, wiping the tears that streaked my face away. “come sit” he said turning to tug me to the bed, falling down on it.
As soon as we touched the surface dust came up in the air making us cough. We quickly stood up laughing as we still coughed
“Well it seems that they forgot to change the sheets” he laughed
“No kidding” I said swatting his back. He went to the little dresser and pulled out clean sheets, looking at me with a raised eyebrow when I didn’t go to help him as he started taking the old ones off. “You’re house” I said with a smile as I stood back to make some more room for him. “He rolled his eyes and went back, but failed miserably to get it done well “Alright. I’ll help you before you destroy something” I laughed as he was just about to tear the sheets.
“Thank you” he said standing back as I started to put everything in it’s right place. He watched me for a while then started to close the curtains and open the windows, so it would be dark, but fresh air would be able to come in too. I finished as he started to unpack, but only so he would take out clean shorts and shirt.
He started to undress and change as I sat down on the bed. When he finished he finally came over and sat down next to me. I leaned my head in his lap and he started to caress my hair.
“So?” I started after a while
“So what?” he asked innocently
“You didn’t bring me here just for this, didn’t you?... Not that I’m complaining or anything…” I smiled. He stopped and I sat back up in front of him with legs crossed
“Remember when I left…” he trailed off
“I could never forget” I smiled bitterly. I will never forget that day. I had the worst day that time. Everything seemed wrong. The morning started awfully. The game went wrong. We won first time then for me, everything just went off. Nausea hit me about 5 times on second set. Every time I took a deep breath, my chest just hurt. I looked up searching, but he wasn’t in the crowd. I noticed Dawn’s worried face, but it wasn’t only for me, he was crying that time and I knew that something was wrong. Jimmy came up behind her, they were both so sad, it hurt to watch them. We lost the game but I couldn’t care less. When we finally finished I ran up, as fast as my leg and head let me and they just both fell on me and hugged me. Dawn could barely make out a coherent ‘He’s gone’ and when she finally came out we left behind the everyone going out to her car, so Jimmy could show me the letter
‘I’m sorry everyone that I had to go away so soon, without even saying my goodbyes. The chance I told you about came faster then I expected. When you’ll be reading this I will be on a plane to New York chasing my dreams with the guys.
I’ll call as soon as possible.
I love you all. Always and no matter what.
Forgive me baby xxxxxxx’
The last part that day made me cry so much that I didn’t even remember how I got back home. He was my everything. He was my brother, my father, my lover, my friend, my family, my soul mate, my hero, my love, my life. My everything. He was the light when the curtains were closed, he was the one who could make me smile when I wanted to burst into tears. He was the one to be there no matter what. Always and no matter what.
And then, he disappeared, making me shut down for a while and no one could help me.
“You never answered my calls” he said squeezing my hand and looking at it.
“ When you went away I… it was hard to carry on.” I smiled at him. “Hearing your voice would have only make it worse”
“Dawn told me about it. She told me that for a week you didn’t go out form the house except when school ended. I’m sorry. I really am” he said squeezing my hand and looking up in my eyes. “I really am”
“I understand why you left, but it still hurt” I said as a stupid tear escaped again. He looked at me with such a hurt expression, it only made me want to cry. He let go of my hand and hugged me again. As he used to. I could barely hug him back because I couldn’t get my arms around him, but then finally did. It was so good to be back in this place. To be in his arms. As he whispered “I love you” and “sorry” in my ear we finally fell back and curled up, resting like that as we just continued to hold each other.
“I missed you so much” I whispered kissing his cheeks. He kissed me back and we laughed as this continued, just like when we were kid.
We sat the alarm and I changed too, going back under the covers and taking about what he did in New York these past four months, not breaking skin contact for even a second and smiling every time one gave a little kiss to the other….
“Yeah. I’m here for about 10 days, well almost, actually just 8 because it took a lot of time to travel and I will have to get back too, so we have to depart next Sunday.” He smiled looking at me and squeezing my hand.
“We?” Dawn asked
“Yeah. The guys are here too, but they went to meet their family today, They will be here tomorrow tho.”
“So how come you came?” Sara asked the question I wanted to ask but couldn’t, since all the words got lost in my mind by only gazing in his beautiful blue eyes.
“Well we had some free time. We will be having a tour soon, not anything big tho” he hurried to see when the others mouth dropped and became wide eyed. “we gotta work hard how because this will make our brake the career we could have. We had the chance to meet our friends and families, and then we will go and practically live in our van and the studio. We have to start recording as soon as we get back, so it will be quite… busy, to say the least”
“You barely had any time until now” Jimmy said “We used to have so much fun until summer when you just disappeared and left…” I got up remembering the painful memories
“Excuse me for a minute” I said and headed for the restroom. The others at the table looked at each other, but then looked at Lucas.
“I’ll get her from the restroom but you’re the one who has to clear this” she said getting up and coming after me.
“I know. I will as soon as we go home”…..
….”Hey are you okay” Dawn said coming up behind me, squeezing my shoulder and leaning on me
“Yeah” I said taking a deep breath. “Did you all know about this?” I asked looking at her trough the mirror
“Yeah” I closed my eyes “Sorry. He told us to stay quiet and keep it a secret. He wanted a surprise” she said squeezing my arms.
“Everyone else knew?” I said
“Yeah” I smiled sadly to myself
“Well he always never knew how to keep a secret from me. I could always read him just by one look. Now I couldn’t see him so he finally managed…” I smiled turning around
“You okay?” she said smiling
“He’s back”
“Yeah”
“Pity that not for some more time”
“Well let’s make this short one a memorable one” she said tugging on my shirt. “Ready to come back out?” I looked back in the mirror and turned back with a smile. I haven’t seen him for 4 months. He’s not here for long but I won’t waste my time sulking. “He’ll explain everything to you as you head home” she said thinking about the same thing as me. Why he left
“Did he tell you guys already?”
“No. He will tell you first, and then he will explain it to us too, later on this night”
“Alright” I nodded as we reached our table.
“…yeah, I remember that night” Lucas laughed “I got a cold and couldn’t get rid of it soon enough. I had to stay in bed for 2 weeks”
“Are you talking about the night when you all got wasted and ended up a little… hmm, let’s say…wet?” I smiled sitting back down, but this switching places with Dawn so I could sit next to Jimmy and see Lucas clearly.
“Little wet? You started the watering in the morning” Jimmy said poking me in the ribs “We got such a huge cold”
“Yeah. I could barely breath through my mouth, let alone my nose” Paul said throwing a straw at me
“Well that’s what you get for sleeping on the ground when there were courts put up and there was a house like what, a mile away?” I said throwing it back to him “And you…” I said poking Jimmy “shouldn’t complain, because if I remember correctly Dawn and I went to you all the time bringing you anything you needed that your mom forbid, plus that was the time you and Dawn got together, so shush” Dawn blushed madly while Jimmy only turned a little red on the cheeks.
“Right. Right. Alright. So I have to thank you for that don’t i?” he asked, I nodded and we all laughed as he got on one knee barely fitting in the tight place there was and bowed in front of me thanking me about 5-6 times.
“I remember you going to Luke tho” Paul said with a smile
“Yeah. He demanded that I was the one who caused this so I have to serve him until he gets well, so whenever your mom worked…” I said turning to Luke “I was the one to make you food. Whatever you wished for”
“Yeah. Remember when I asked you to bring me ice cream?” he smiled warmly at me.
“Yeah. It was like, what, the second day of the cold…?”
“Yeah. And I got scolded and told off for it, plus my mom heard it and got in trouble for it too, but in the end you did bring me some. Every day” he said with that lopsided smile I always loved.
“Yeah. It did make you better… didn’t it?”
“So that’s why you were in bed for so long”
“Oh yeah. And the fact that she…” he said nudging towards me “always came. Every day after practice”
“And sometimes stayed too” I smiled at the memory “Remember when I had a match and you were so sorry that you couldn’t come that you were whining all day while I was there, so in the end you could barely talk and your mom threw me out, then she had to go work, so I waited in the back of the house until she left, sneaked back in and ended up sleeping there?”
“Oh yeah. I held on to you and didn’t let go, so when it was already 11p.m. or so you finally gave up going home and you stayed with me. You stinked so bad”
“Well excuse me. I had a game that afternoon. And a big one for that matter. We won 3-0 at volleyball against a really good team. But I didn’t stink that much. And just so you know, it was your fault. You left me like 24 messages so I couldn’t take a shower there. I taught Something was wrong and it was just that you wanted to see how the game ended. I had a shower at you and you let me that huge football shirt you had. It was like sleeping in a tent.”…
We ended up staying there until 3 p.m. talking about all the good and embarrassing memories we shared, but finally finished and started to get ready. We paid for our food and went to the parking lot to say bye from each other
“Then at 9 in front of Butterfly.” Dawn said as she got in the car with Jimmy “See you soon, and have some rest too” she winked and they left with Paul and Sarah behind them. I ended up staying with Lucas to get some explanations about what happened 4 months ago. I got in his car and we drove to his former place. The drive was silent with just a few glances from the side and small smiles. His parents worked in Chicago now, but still kept the little one room apartment he used. He still had his stuff in it.
As we got in I noticed it hasn’t changed a bit, It still had those blue, green and brown colored walls we once painted together, the furniture was in it’s place, It wasn’t the same tho. Dust covered the whole place. It was cleaned a few times, but that wasn’t the same. It was exactly like a place where no one lived for a long time.
The place was pretty empty tho. No clothes hanged on the hook, no glasses on the little table in front of the couch where we used to put our feet on when we watched a movie, no dishes in the sink, no stove with irremovable spots from a pasta that was too long on the fire, because we had too much fun. The whole place seemed familiar and strange in the same time. i put down the crimson rose on the little table
"You like it?" he smiled
“Yeah.You haven’t packed out” I said noticing his luggage still next to his bed, untouched .
“I wanted to just throw it in, and get to the game as soon as possible” I smiled as I remembered. Every time one of us had a game the other one ran, leaving behind everything, to get there and cheer as loud as we could
“The good old days” I said with a smile
“Hey. They weren’t that old” he said dropping his keys on the table.
“Last game: 5 months and 2 weeks ago. Rainy Saturday. You won the game and we went out to our cars. We were the last ones to leave and in the middle of the road the car ran out of gas, so we had to run in the rain for 20 minutes. We were trenched…” I said turning back to him and looking him in the eyes
“Yep, and then when we finally got home, just to make it worse the electricity went out so there was no heating nor warm water. We quickly changed and got in bed with, getting from the basement 2 other covers so we wouldn’t freeze to death.” He said. We laughed at it. That was fun
“I still have your hoodie from then”
“I was wondering” he said coming closer. When he stopped we just looked at each other, but then the memory of him leaving a note for us 2 days before vacation saying that he and the guys went to New York chasing their dreams came to my mind, and I couldn’t help but feel like crap again. I jumped in his arms and just hugged him. Hugged him like there was no tomorrow and just hold on to him as he did to me.
After about 10 minutes of nothing more them us hugging like the world was about to end and me crying like a baby, he finally let me down to the ground but still kept the tight hug.
“I missed you so much” I whispered
“Me too” he whispered in my ears making me shiver, especially as I heard that his voice cracked. He then let go of me and smiled, wiping the tears that streaked my face away. “come sit” he said turning to tug me to the bed, falling down on it.
As soon as we touched the surface dust came up in the air making us cough. We quickly stood up laughing as we still coughed
“Well it seems that they forgot to change the sheets” he laughed
“No kidding” I said swatting his back. He went to the little dresser and pulled out clean sheets, looking at me with a raised eyebrow when I didn’t go to help him as he started taking the old ones off. “You’re house” I said with a smile as I stood back to make some more room for him. “He rolled his eyes and went back, but failed miserably to get it done well “Alright. I’ll help you before you destroy something” I laughed as he was just about to tear the sheets.
“Thank you” he said standing back as I started to put everything in it’s right place. He watched me for a while then started to close the curtains and open the windows, so it would be dark, but fresh air would be able to come in too. I finished as he started to unpack, but only so he would take out clean shorts and shirt.
He started to undress and change as I sat down on the bed. When he finished he finally came over and sat down next to me. I leaned my head in his lap and he started to caress my hair.
“So?” I started after a while
“So what?” he asked innocently
“You didn’t bring me here just for this, didn’t you?... Not that I’m complaining or anything…” I smiled. He stopped and I sat back up in front of him with legs crossed
“Remember when I left…” he trailed off
“I could never forget” I smiled bitterly. I will never forget that day. I had the worst day that time. Everything seemed wrong. The morning started awfully. The game went wrong. We won first time then for me, everything just went off. Nausea hit me about 5 times on second set. Every time I took a deep breath, my chest just hurt. I looked up searching, but he wasn’t in the crowd. I noticed Dawn’s worried face, but it wasn’t only for me, he was crying that time and I knew that something was wrong. Jimmy came up behind her, they were both so sad, it hurt to watch them. We lost the game but I couldn’t care less. When we finally finished I ran up, as fast as my leg and head let me and they just both fell on me and hugged me. Dawn could barely make out a coherent ‘He’s gone’ and when she finally came out we left behind the everyone going out to her car, so Jimmy could show me the letter
‘I’m sorry everyone that I had to go away so soon, without even saying my goodbyes. The chance I told you about came faster then I expected. When you’ll be reading this I will be on a plane to New York chasing my dreams with the guys.
I’ll call as soon as possible.
I love you all. Always and no matter what.
Forgive me baby xxxxxxx’
The last part that day made me cry so much that I didn’t even remember how I got back home. He was my everything. He was my brother, my father, my lover, my friend, my family, my soul mate, my hero, my love, my life. My everything. He was the light when the curtains were closed, he was the one who could make me smile when I wanted to burst into tears. He was the one to be there no matter what. Always and no matter what.
And then, he disappeared, making me shut down for a while and no one could help me.
“You never answered my calls” he said squeezing my hand and looking at it.
“ When you went away I… it was hard to carry on.” I smiled at him. “Hearing your voice would have only make it worse”
“Dawn told me about it. She told me that for a week you didn’t go out form the house except when school ended. I’m sorry. I really am” he said squeezing my hand and looking up in my eyes. “I really am”
“I understand why you left, but it still hurt” I said as a stupid tear escaped again. He looked at me with such a hurt expression, it only made me want to cry. He let go of my hand and hugged me again. As he used to. I could barely hug him back because I couldn’t get my arms around him, but then finally did. It was so good to be back in this place. To be in his arms. As he whispered “I love you” and “sorry” in my ear we finally fell back and curled up, resting like that as we just continued to hold each other.
“I missed you so much” I whispered kissing his cheeks. He kissed me back and we laughed as this continued, just like when we were kid.
We sat the alarm and I changed too, going back under the covers and taking about what he did in New York these past four months, not breaking skin contact for even a second and smiling every time one gave a little kiss to the other….