I Picked out Your Star

Frank’s point of view

As I woke up, it took me few seconds to realize why the fuck I was in Mikey’s bed. I groaned when I remembered and, well, when the pain came back. It’s weird really, if you hit your knee into something, it hurts ten times worse next day. So I was pretty much in pain, seeing I didn’t just hit me knee.

I searched for my cellphone, wanting to see what time it was. Mikey didn’t have alarm-clock or anything, he said that the alarm in his phone was enough. Weird. I never woke up just because of the sound of my phone. It was way too quiet. I found my phone and flipped it open. 6.54am?

FUCK!

I just realized it; I was at Mikey’s, not home, and it was morning already. Fuck. I bet mom is worrying herself sick right at the moment!

I jumped up from the bed, which I immediately regretted as the pain shoot up my spine once again, forcing my eyes shut and me to fall back onto the bed. When the pain calmed down a bit, I tried again, this time more slowly. I managed to stand up and I walked out of the room and down the hall, starting to walk down the stairs and calling for Mikey so I could tell him that I have to go home.

“Mmmh, Frank?” Mikey muttered tiredly as he walked into the hall from living room, rubbing his eyes. I assumed he was sleeping on the couch for the whole night.

“Mikes, I gotta go. It’s morning already and mom has no idea where the fuck I am!” I told him as I spotted my backpack that was laying against the wall. I was just about to grab it when Mikey placed his hand on my shoulder to stop me.

“Don’t worry, I called to your mom yesterday that you were going to stay the night. So, wanna breakfast?” Mikey asked smirking and walking into the kitchen. Trust Mikey to think about food for the first thing in the morning.

“Thanks Mikey”, I sighed as I sat on the counter, watching him make coffee.

“Hey, that’s what friends are for”, he replied and I gave him a weak smile. I was still feeling pretty tired. I think it takes lots of energy for my body to try to heal itself, ‘causing me to feel tired. Oh well, at least I’m gonna get coffee.

“What day it is?” I asked, suddenly realizing I didn’t remember. It has nothing to do with me hurting my head or anything, I’m just good at forgetting things like that.

“Uhh, Saturday, why?”

“I just couldn’t remember. Well that’s good, no school. What are you planning to do?” I asked and took a cup filled with coffee that he was holding for me. I drank some and smiled. Mikey was like, the best coffee maker ever. And he knew exactly how I wanted it; no sugar, and little bit milk, just so much that the color changes.

“Umm, nothing. Alicia is visiting her grandma or something so I don’t have to be with her”, Mikey replied, drinking from his coffee. When he says he ‘don’t have to’ be with his girlfriend, he didn’t mean it in a bad way. No, never. I think he really loves her.

“Mmmmkay. Wanna hang with me? We could go to the movies or something?”

“Yeah, that’d be cool.”

We sat there, drinking our coffees and talking about what movie we should watch when we heard heavy footsteps coming down the stairs. I froze, as I knew who it probably was and not wanting to see them right now. I couldn’t be either of Mikey’s parents, seeing they were almost never home. I’m not sure why, and I did find it damn strange. Why did parents leave two of their teenage kids home alone so often and for so long time? They could as well live in different houses.

“Ugh, hey there you two!” I heard Gerard’s voice giggle before he hiccuped. I forced my eyes to stay staring my coffee, not wanting to look at him. Why was he sounding so happy?

“You’re drunk”, Mikey spat, and this made me lift my gaze to Gerard. And damn right he was. He looked like a mess, too. His black hair was all messy and looked dirty, his clothes were just as dirty as his hair. And his face, oh his face. There were black bags under each eye, and his eyes were red and puffy. His face was also a bit red because of dried tear stains on them. He looked so pathetic. And I was kinda feeling sorry for him...

No Frank, stop it. He doesn’t deserve any of your sympathy. Think about yourself just once, kay? Look at what he did to you. Yeah, he really deserves to feel bad about what he did. If it was even that that he was feeling bad.

“Ooohh, I am, right?” Gerard said, grinning stupidly. He really seemed to be out of his fucking head.

“Yes. Now fuck off”, Mikey told him, griding his teeth. He looked at his bigger brother with the look of mostly disappointment and hate in his eyes, but I could almost swear there were something else in them, too. Maybe sadness? Concern? Fear? I couldn’t tell, but there were something.

“Mikeeeesss, what’s wron’ with yah?”

“Well fucking guess! Didn’t I tell you to stay away from us?”

“I –”, Gerard started but stopped them, furrowing his browns, like he was trying to think. Suddenly, a tear slipped from his right eyes as he relaxed his face muscles, just to replace his thinking expression with one of pure sadness as he started to sob uncontrollably. Mood change, eh? That’s what drinking does to you.

“I’m sorry Mikes! I really am s-sorry!” he cried, and collapsed onto the floor, burying his face in his hands. His shoulders were shaking and tears were running down his wrists as they escaped from his hands.

“You don’t mean it. You’re fucking drunk”, Mikey said calmly and grabbad my arm, pulling me into the hallway.

“Let’s go to the movies now, eh?” he asked, but I didn’t feel like going to the movies all of a sudden. I wanted to think about someone. No, no I needed to think about someone. I didn’t want to, I don’t think I was ready to think about that certain someone, but I knew I needed to. And that certain someone was still sobbing loudly in the kitchen.

“I’m sorry, but I’m not so sure if I... I mean, I think I’m just gonna go home now... We can hang out some other day?” I explained. Mikey looked a bit disappointment but nodded anyway.

“Okay, if you want so. You want me to take you?”

“Nah, I can walk”, I said and grabbed my backpack while walking to the door.

“Frank, are you – uh, okay?” Mikey asked as I was opening the door. I turned to look at him, just to stare at his eyes that were once again filled with concern.

“Yeah”, I replied, giving him a smile which I hoped was reassuring as I stepped out of Way’s house. I waved at Mikes and started walking down the streets.

I hated the feeling I got when Gerard was around. And what he made me feel, I wasn’t even sure myself. Sure, I was angry. Angry and hurt. But the other feeling I got, they were weird. I didn’t want to feel them. I didn’t even know how to feel them. I didn’t know what they were, or maybe, I didn’t want to know.