Ignorance is Kind

There were three specific reasons that I stared ahead intently at the television. First: My Chemical Romance Loaded was on Fuse; second: Johnny was screaming at Jessica in the kitchen; and third: My extremely good-looking history teacher was sitting on the opposite side of the couch as me, and I was nervous.

Johnny's voice was carrying into the living room, and I was embarrassed for Jess. Our history teacher was in her living room and he could hear every little thing that Johnny was yelling at her. He'd figured out that Jessica had gotten completely and utterly smashed the night before, and he'd flipped shit. If I wasn't her best friend, I probably would have just left her to fend for herself. But, since I was her best friend, I sat dutifully on the couch with my teacher and waited for Johnny to calm down.

Just as the video for Helena was getting over, Johnny threw his hands up (I saw this out of my peripheral vision) and stormed out of the kitchen. He then proceeded to stomp upstairs and to his bedroom, where he slammed the door. I waited a few seconds before getting up and going to the kitchen.

Jess was sitting on the table, her feet dangling over the edge. She stared at the floor, though I knew she heard me come into the room. I saw tears on her bare legs and sighed. I walked over to her and stood in front of her. Without waiting for her to look up at me, I wrapped my arms around her shoulders.

"It's okay, Jess," I whispered, fully aware thatMr. Sa Matt could see and hear everything that was going on the kitchen.

She shook her head against my shoulder. She looked up at me, her brown eyes red and swollen. She'd stayed silent the entire time Johnny'd been yelling at her. It was so unlike the Jessica I knew. "He threatened to tell Mom and Dad. Just before he walked out. You know what they'd do?" Her voice cracked at the end of her words.

I nodded. "I know, Jessie."

Now she was angry. Now Johnny was gone and she could show how she really felt. "I don't get why he's making such a big deal out of it. He did the exact same thing when he was my age. He's such a fucking hypocrite."

I heard heavy footsteps and turned around to see Matt standing just in the entry way to the room. He walked over and stood next to us. "He doesn't want you to fall into everything he did when he was sixteen. He's trying to look out for you. There are some things you don't know about your brother, Jessica. He doesn't want you to fuck up your life like he almost did. He loves you."

Jess and I stared at him. Jessica spoke before I even had the thought to. "It's my life. He can't control it. I need to make mistakes to be able to learn from them." She removed herself from my arms and shouldered passed the Matt and I.

I looked around the room awkwardly. Finally, I opened my mouth. "I'm sorry about that. Jess is really independent. She hates it when Johnny tells her what to do."

He nodded. "I know. Johnny talks about her all the time. He really does care about her, you know. He just wants her to have a good life. He wants her to graduate high school and go to college so that she can get a good job. He wishes that's what he'd done."

"She's only sixteen," I started.

He opened his mouth to interrupt me, but I stopped him.

"Hold on, I wasn't finished," I scolded. "She's only sixteen, and I want for her what Johnny does. But like I said, she's really independent and doesn't like it when she's told what to do. She has her whole life planned out. What she wants to do after high school, what she wants to go to college for, where she wants to go. She may be reckless, Mr. Sanders, but she knows what she's doing with her life."

He smiled appreciatively. "Zacky talks about you, too, you know."

My eyes widened. "And that's my cue to leave."

"It's nothing bad," he laughed.

I looked at the clock over the sink. "I still need to get home. Zacky probably went home piss ass drunk last night, right?" I didn't give him time to answer before starting to talk again. "Which means that I'll need to get him three Advil and a glass of water before he wakes up, which will probably be in about twenty-five to forty minutes from now."

"You're good."

"I've lived with Zack since I started high school. I'm used to it." I smiled.

"Do you need a ride home? I know Zacky lives across town."

I nodded. "Yeah, walking doesn't seem like a good idea."

"You drank last night, too, didn't you?"

I felt my cheeks heat up. "A little."

He smiled, grabbing his keys from his jeans pocket and twirling them around his fingers. "Shall we go then?"

And I left my best friends house with my teacher. It was sure to be an interesting trip home.