Red.

Red. It was the color of blood. It was the color of fire. It was the color of virtually all my favorite things. It was the anger I revolved around. It was the color of a setting sun. It was the color of a beautiful rose; of passion. Red was everything. But now red is destroyed. Red is gone to me. I am gone.

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“Camilley?” The voice whispered horrified. I was horrified myself. What was I doing here? Why was there blood on my hands? Why were the curtains slowly catching the whole house on fire? Why was I so angry? Why was this girl calling me Camilley? What kind of name is Camilley anyway? “Camille?” She whispered again. She was coming closer now. Could she not see it wasn’t whoever Camille was? Couldn’t she see me in the pink tinted light of the sun coming up over the horizon? I waved in front of her face, but she ignored me completely. Wait… what am I missing here?

My heart beat fast and it was silent except for that. I looked at the body bellow me and then into the mirror I somehow knew was across the room. There was a mirror there, but there was nothing in the mirror. A dark haired girl leaning over a pale body. Red…

Red was everywhere.

For some reason I liked that. I liked all the red. It made me happy. It made me remember.

”Camilley!” The same dark haired girl whined. Wasn’t she a bit old for that kind of behavior?

“Bethy!” A voice. Exactly like mine yelled back. I looked at the side. Was I imagining things? Had I gone insane? There I was… standing next to me. “Beth… what are we doing here?” Myself said, face turning serious as I looked around at the street.

“You said you wanted danger. Here’s your danger. There’s this kid..” The dark haired girl started before I interrupted.

“Beth… please never start a sentence like that. It scares people.”

“You mean… it scares you .” She stated. I could see me rolling my eyes. This was starting to get confusing.

“Yes, Beth. I mean it scares me.” I stated. Feeling ignored I, myself, tried to jump in between them. I yelled ‘boo’ maybe thinking it could scare us into seeing me. Nothing happened. Things kept going on like they must have the first time. A had a strong sense of déjà vu going on, like I’d already lived this. The two of us walked down the street and I had to run to catch up. What was going on here?

“As I was saying… there’s this kid. I told him about you and he seemed interested.” Beth blabbered on. It seemed as if that was normal for her.

“Have I met said kid?”

“Nope.” She popped her ‘p’. “I don’t think so anyway.”

“Then…” I felt myself start to say before she cut me off again.

“Trust me this once… okay Camille?” Beth stopped and grabbed the me I was watching’s shoulders. Her eyes were wide. Her whole body exuded innocence.

I hesitated and looked anywhere but her eyes. Then I sighed and nodded my head. “Fine. Just this once though!” A warm smile spread over my lips though my eyes still looked unsure and nervous.

“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” Beth yelled jumping up and down and hugging me. Something inside of me longed for to hug me like that. I knew she couldn’t though. I started to get the feeling that this was the proverbial moment everyone talks about where you watch stupid times in your life ‘flash before your eyes’. I guess I was just re-living all of the things that led up to my death.

Only I don’t want to think of myself as dead yet.

The two girls turned a corner and I struggled to catch up. Why is this the only part I remember? When I got around the corner I caught my other self staring up at him. Into his dark eyes. His tan hair fell rumpled into his face and his shirt has blotches on it. Funny, I only remember seeing those brown eyes. They could have been black. His jeans were torn from use. I looked to my feet.

Both versions of me did.

“This is Eric, Camille.” Beth said introducing us, holding back giggles to my reaction. I looked up. Eric stared down at me. My light brown, almost blonde, hair covering most of my face. “And Camille, this is Eric.” I saw myself nod.

I opened my eyes. My body was below me. My arms were spread out and my legs were twisted together. Blood touched everything and the room was filled with smoke. I stopped breathing altogether, but that made Beth scream out from where she was perched over me. My body had stopped breathing also. I quickly started breathing again, although it was harder than it should have been. Why was everything like this anyway?

The fire was understandable. I was a bit of a pyro. Maybe I accidentally got too close to the curtains. I’d never really loved blood all that much. It was pretty, yes. But slowly my body was draining of it and it was killing me. I was dead.

At least I would be.

I thought of all the clichéd movies then. Where the ghost finds her killer, then finds some sort of psycho ghost seer, and then gets the best friend/boyfriend/parents to get revenge on said murderer. All I needed was one, to remember who killed me, and, two, to find the psychic. Yeah. That’ll be easy.

Frustrated, I threw my arms out and wiped all the glasses from the blood-stained coffee table I was kneeled next to. Woah.

Can anyone say ‘Ghost’? Where’s Whoopi when you need her?

Beth looked up. She looked right through me and then onto the floor where little shards of glass were laying on the carpet. My mouth was still in an ‘o’ shape. “Camille?” I turned my eyes to her. Her eyes were darting all around the room. She couldn’t see me.

I feel like Patrick Swayze. Only… he’s dead too. For real. Not just in movie land.

“Camille?” She asked again. Louder this time.

“Beth?” I asked. Tears were running down my real face. Sluggish and fat.

“Camille? Where are you?” I couldn’t tell if she heard me. There was an urgency in her voice though. “Do you know who did this?” I shook my head. Then slapped my forehead. She can’t see me.

“No.” I tried to yell. It came out as a hoarse whisper. Why weren’t we getting out of this place? It was burning to the ground. Beth coughed and I lunged forward trying to give her a hint. “Get out, you idiot.” I whispered. She nodded.

“Okay… okay I get it.” Beth muttered scrambling to her feet. “I get it, okay! I’m leaving!” She finished with a cough. She started to leave before spinning around quickly and grabbing my wrists and dragging me out the door. That’d be Beth. She’d never leave me behind, even if I was practically dead already.

I felt my back being pulled against the floor and my head bobbing with the force with which Beth was pulling me; trying to get outside. A faint sound of sirens could be heard through the walls; through the smoke. Then there was a tugging inside my head. Another ‘flash back’? Seriously?

It was me. And that Eric guy. We were sitting in my living room, me with my feet curled up underneath me and him with his socked feet sitting up on the table. He kept glancing at me, but I was too preoccupied with the movie playing on the TV. I jumped and the TV screamed back. Must be a scary movie.

Something tells me I really liked them.

I watched Eric this time around. For some reason he seemed to be sending me these 'creeper' vibes. Why did I hang out with him? What did Beth mean by dangerous? Why would I want dangerous? I'm thinking 'dangerous' is what got me killed. At one point he decidedly stared at me and I watched myself turn to smile at him. He smiled back.

He killed me... didn't he.

I got this feeling he did. Both versions of me looked at the clock then. Six o'clock. Both of us looked at the window. The sky was tinted a red-orange and the sun was going down. I smiled and grabbed Eric's hand before running to the door.

"What are you doing, Camille?" He asked, laughing. I only smiled in response before sitting myself cross-legged on my front lawn, pulling him down next to me. I watched the sun going down longingly before getting back on task and sitting down in front of past me and Eric. I had to know exactly what happened. Even if I hadn't caught it the first time.

His eyes softened and he'd only glance at me every now and then. A small smile rested on his lips. He leaned over and kissed the top of my head lightly before wrapping his arms around me and pulling me so that I was leaning against him, almost in his lap. I saw my grin widen and I felt my brow furrow.

That's not the way psychos usually act around those they hope to kill, is it?

Why am I getting these stupid visions? Why am I seeing this? Is my subconscious trying to tell me something? Is it trying to tell me it wasn't Eric? What's going on?

The scene before me started to fade out and then it slowly came back. Changed.

I didn't know where I was. This wasn't my living room. This wasn't my front lawn. Eric wasn't there. Beth wasn't there.

It was dark and I kept looking around the room. It looked like one of those fancy restaurants where everything is a burgundy or a black. It was beautiful and I was occupying myself by staring at the little flame coming off of the small white candle sitting in the middle of the small circular table I was sitting at. I could see my fingers itching to bring it closer to me; to touch it. A fancy waiter came by, asking what I wanted. I answered with something small. I needed to get out of there before I ended up crying my make-up off.

Whoever it was they weren't showing up. I lowered my head and tried to preoccupy myself by texting someone. I walked closer to myself. I was texting Beth.

'Im fine. Idk where he is... But im fine.' I texted quickly. I wiped a tear before it really appeared on my face. I sniffled before looking up at the man who brought me my plate. The people at the tables around me sent me looks. I was too young to be here. I was alone. I was different. I wasn't even wearing a dress. Nothing fancy.

I was angry. I could feel that. My cheeks were pink and I just wanted to leave, but I still had at least a little pride left so I stayed.

Everything fogged up and when it cleared again I was in a bed. I'm guessing it was my room. There was a knock on the door downstairs, but the asleep me only rolled over in her bed. They knocked again and this time hit the doorbell too. I hate that thing. The asleep me jumped awake.

She got up and walked slowly to the door. When I got to the door and had unlocked it and pulled it open my eyes widened. There Eric stood. He looked so sad. He had a dress shirt on and a pair of jeans, which were (amazingly) not torn. He looked at his feet for a moment before looking cautiously up at me. He looked sorry. I looked back at myself, still wearing the T-shirt and skinny jeans I'd worn to the restaurant. Oh.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered. "The guys.. they called and.. they would have gone after you." He looked desperate. His eyes glimmered slightly. There was no chance in Hell that he was the one that killed me. I felt my own stomach lurch into my throat, I could only imagine what past me was feeling. Let alone what she was thinking.

"It's okay." I choked out.

Eric smiled hopefully at me. Then he reached behind him into his back pocket and pulled out a blooming, red, long-stemmed rose. My heart skipped a beat. "So you forgive me?"

"Of course." I'd sighed. I smiled at the two of us. I saw them start to approach each other and begged my subconscious to let me out of the memory. I really didn't need the awkward feeling that watching what was sure to happen next would surely bring.

Sighing I found myself in a white room. Beth sat next to a small cot-like bed. I was afraid to look at the bed itself though. I struggled to tell if this was just another 'flash back'. It couldn't be. The person in the bed was unmoving.

It was me.

The heart monitor kept a steady beat, making sure the room couldn't fall into a silence. Beth had her head in her hands and Eric stood at the door. Half in and half out of the room. I stared at him. Who killed me? He would know. I could feel it.

Beth looked up then though. "Eric." She whispered. He must have just entered the room. I could hardly tell that his eyes were red, slightly poofy. I looked down. Definitely not him. "Please. Just tell me." She pleaded quietly. She kept glancing at me as if almost hoping I would suddenly wake up.

"I... I have to..." He started to turn towards the hallway again. Beth stood quickly.

"Please! They keep telling me she probably won't wake up. They keep saying..." Beth stopped talking and put more effort into not showing how much those words hurt her. She didn't want anyone knowing how broken down all of this had made her. I take it she's normally a strong person. Very strong.

"Beth... I have to go." Eric said with clenched teeth before taking long strides back down the hallway. Beth then completely broke down. I tried to touch her shoulder. I tried to make her know I was there. I tried and I tried, but nothing happened.

We stayed like that until a nurse came in and told Beth that she had to leave. She nodded solemnly before standing and just walking away. I tried to follow her, but for some reason I couldn't get out of the room. I stood in the doorway and watched her leave. At the end of the hall she stopped completely and turned to look back at my doorway. Right through me.

I took short, quick steps backwards until my back hit the wall lined with windows. I pushed against the wall in an effort to keep myself vertical.

Frustrated. I can't remember anything. Why does it have to be so hard? Why can't I just know who killed me? Why can't I just pinch myself and wake up? Why can't it all be a bad dream? I kicked the chair Beth had sat in. I couldn't feel the pain you'd normally associate with kicking a chair. I could feel tears run down my face as my body started shaking. Why me? What the fuck did I do to deserve this? I grabbed the first thing I saw and threw it across the room. Then I kicked the chair again. Then I threw something else and I knocked over something and then threw some more things. I reached up and I pulled at my hair. Then I stuck the bit of skin between my thumb and my forefinger to muffle my scream. Then I realized that no one could hear me anyway so I took my hand away from my mouth and screamed as loudly as I could. Then I let myself fall, it's not like I could feel it anyway, and I sobbed into my hands.

I took a few breaths. "Goozfraba." I whispered before giggling slightly to myself. It was so weird. Everything was just so surreal; so absurd. I was dead girl having a temper tantrum.

I heard the heart rate monitor slow it's beeping down as my breathing slowed and my heart stopped pumping as frantically. A group of doctors and nurses rushed into the room and I looked up slowly a sad smile still on my lips. They all froze and took in the room. I did too.

The chairs that had once been right next to my bed were close to the door, one of them in pieces. The remote for the TV was laying on the floor below an efficiently dented TV. My bed was crooked as if I'd kicked it and one of the few pillows I had was torn to shreds, the ground was littered with feathers. Everything not attached to the floor was thrown onto the floor or across the room.

I took a deep breath glancing at my body. My face was wet and other than that I looked exactly the same. I closed my eyes and tried to just zone out while a doctor checked up on me and two nurses or aids or whatever they were started to clean everything up. I leaned back against the wall. I was so tired of feeling so numb.

The door closed and looking up I realized everything was back in place. Everything was normal. I was still in what I assumed was a coma. I still didn't know who killed me. Light filtered into the room through the slightly torn curtains. Maybe they wouldn't replace those. The door burst open again.

Beth looked out of breath as she ran into the room. "I heard what happened!" She yelled. She looked so happy as she flung her backpack down onto the table. She then started to wave her hands around cursing at herself. Something about her laptop being in there and how she probably hurt it by flinging it around. Then she stopped flipping out as much and unzipped the bag before pulling out her small and thin laptop. She flipped it open and pressed the on button before rushing over to my bed and leaning over me. She poked my face. "I know you can hear me. I know you're here. I'm not crazy!" She then rushed back over to her laptop and opened up Microsoft Word. "If you can ruin a room then you can type on a computer." She stated matter-of-factly. She turned from her computer and smiled broadly at my body while the conscious me moved to the computer. I tried to type 'hi' but nothing happened.

Maybe I need to be really angry in order to touch anything. I tried glaring at the machine and then typing 'hi' again. It didn't work.

"Camille?" Beth asked. Her hopes were dropping I could feel that.

"Hang on Beth." I tried to type random letters this time. Then I tried again. Slowly Beth pulled the remaining chair to sit at the table in front of the laptop. She rested her head on her fist and sighed.

After around twenty minutes of trying to type just any letter I managed to get one to work. 'F'. Beth sat up a little, hearing the click. She looked with half-lidded eyes at her computer screen, probably not expecting to see anything. The surprised look on her face made me fill with pride. I crossed my arms over my chest and smiled with my nose in the air. Oh hells yeah.

"Camille?" She asked slightly bouncing in her seat.

'Yeah.' I typed back. She almost screamed. She glanced quickly back at my bed and I smiled from where I was standing next to her.

"Camille! Oh, I miss you! I really need to know what happened. I need you to wake up. I need... there are just so many things I've wanted to say. I didn't know if you could hear me. I didn't know if I was going crazy or if..." I started typing again.

She watched the letters appear on the screen eagerly. 'I heard you. I don't remember a thing.' Apparently I was a fast typer. It's good to know that I can at least remember where all the keys are. I glared at my hands and shook my head. I wondered when it would wear off. When I wouldn't be able to type anymore.

"So... do you know me? I'm confused. What do you mean you don't remember a thing?" She really did look genuinely confused.

'Flash backs. Is Eric in gang or something?' I typed quickly, paraphrasing. Who knew when I wouldn't be able to type anymore? I needed that information. I have no idea what I'd do with i if I did get it, but I did know I wanted it. The feeling of not knowing burned within me. It killed me.

No pun intended.

"Okay so you're having flashbacks and you know me and you know Eric and you think that Eric's in a... wait... what?! Eric's too nice to... never mind. Maybe you're right? Maybe he told you and you just can't remember? Am I going too fast?" She rambled out and I stared at her for a moment. What?

'That didn't help in the least.' I typed it slowly. As slowly as I was thinking. Was she on drugs?

"Do you think he killed you for them?" She asked. I had the word 'no' typed out before she finished speaking. There was no doubt in my mind about that one. Eric wouldn't have hurt me.

This would be so much easier if I could just remember.

'I think it was one in the gang. Had flash where he said 'they were gonna get you' or something.' I stared at Beth in anticipation. 'Did I say anything to you before I died?' I asked.

She didn't speak for a long time, thinking. "...you felt like you were being watched. Like someone was trailing you. Those were your exact words and then you ran up to your room and locked the door behind yourself. I could hear you crying from against the door, but you would not tell me anything else. So I went to bed, I was a little upset by that point, and then your screaming woke me up. When I got downstairs you were..." She stopped and looked out the window. Then she shifted her gaze so that she was staring intently at the screen instead. Then she looked at the floor, at her feet. Then she turned to look at my body.

Wouldn't it just suck if I ended up dying after all of this?

And you know what? I would die. That would be just my luck. To die after all of this and to leave Beth just wondering. I would be gone. I am gone. Why am I trying so hard? I'll be gone and so will all of the red. The red wouldn't exist anymore. It would all disappear as I will. It'll be forgotten just as I am. As slowly all the people who knew me just stopped caring and left... and forgot. I am destroyed.

I shook my head sadly and looked to see Beth's shocked face looking from the computer screen to the slowly opening door. Oh no. But just when I was getting ready to throw another tantrum to keep whoever it was from calling Beth crazy, again, Eric slipped through the doorway. He eyed Beth warily. "You said it was urgent?"

Beth sighed. "Yeah. Yeah... It's about Camille."

"Yeah? She looks about the same to me!" Eric murmured angrily. The way his eyes flashed made me take a step back.

"I know, but look." She motioned to the laptop's screen. "Say 'hi' or something." She whispered, desperate to make Eric's mood shift.

'Help me. Please.' I typed. I stood emotionless. He couldn't help me. Even the doctors said that I wouldn't wake up. That I'd die.

"Ha ha. Very funny Beth." He said as he walked towards the little table. He crossed his arms over his chest. He glared at the screen.

'Not Beth. Camille. Gang or no gang??' I still needed to know.

"What?" He whispered, slightly horrified.

'What kind of trouble were you in?' I clarified. He looked suspiciously at Beth.

"Camille knows what was going on." He stood straight again, no longer bending over the screen. Beth scrolled up to the top. He quickly read through my side of the conversation before shaking his head and sighing. "Yeah. Something like a gang." He confessed.

"Would they have..." Beth trailed off leaving us to fill in the blanks. '...killed me?' I typed, taking the pleasure of filling it in for myself. Beth glared at the screen though. "Heart's still beating." She muttered while pointing towards the softly beeping machine. I shrugged.

'It's only a matter of time.' I stopped typing for a moment and took in their faces. 'By the way... I'd rather not be a veggie. Pull the plug while you've got the chance.'

"No way. Not unless Hell freezes over." Beth said defensively.

'Fine. I'll haunt both your asses then.' I crossed my arms and smirked.