Sink Into Me

I walked out the door and closed it quickly behind me.

I didn’t want to do this, why me of all people?! I mean sure, we’ve become civil at times and what not but it’s not enough for me to walk up to him, place a hand on his shoulder and be like “Yo Adam, what’s wrong?” is it? Exactly, no. He wouldn’t tell me anyway, he’d be like “oh no Taylor don’t worry, you throw the word hate around too much and don’t know the extent of the damage it causes” chyeah, hypocrite. I began to make my way down the first flight of stairs slowly, putting this off for aslong as I could. As I reached the bottom of the first flight I took to the second and sighed, walking a bit faster than the first so much to my dismay I had completed both flights of stairs in less than five minutes.
I was going to be wasting about five minutes of my life by asking Adam what was wrong and maybe if he wanted to come bowling, yes, I said maybe, Lidia wouldn’t know if I didn’t actually ask him, I could easily just say he said no, good thinking, eh? I made my way to the kitchen and took a look inside. No Adam. I made my way back out and walked the few short steps to the living room, Matt Rubano, but no Adam.

“Hey Matt, do you know where Adam is?” I sighed, leaning against the door frame.

“Adam? Why are you looking for Adam?” He asked confused.

“He just stormed out of the game room and I want to see where he is to annoy him even more” I chuckled.

Lie.

“Erm last time I saw him he headed out the front door”

“Okay thanks, time to annoy!” I grinned.

Lie.

Okay so it was a lie, but not a full one. I did want to annoy Adam, but I wanted to see what was wrong first even though I knew damn well he wouldn’t tell me, yeah okay I’m a bitch to him and vice versa I couldn’t tell Matt this though, but a part of me still would want to help him. I mean after all, I did like the guy once upon a time, and read that and memorize it okay?!

Once upon a time.

I walked out of the living room and into the hall, taking the oh so few steps to the door. I stood in front of it for a minute and sighed. I couldn’t believe I was about to do this, I really couldn’t.
I opened the door and took about a half step out, knocking something in the process, confused I looked down to realise it was Adam’s back I had just knocked into as he was sat down on the porch.

“Uh…Hi?” He said confused as to why I was there.

I reached my right hand back and pulled the door knob so that the door would close behind me, stepped around Adam to avoid hitting him once again and sat down next to him on the porch, well, when I say next to him I mean I left a few spaces between us.

“Er Hi, what’s up?” I asked.

“Nothing much” He replied shortly as he continued to look directly in front of him.

“Look are you okay?” I blurted out.

I mentally kicked myself for just blurting it out like that, I was planning on leading up to it but no, me and my big motherfucking mouth.

“Er?” He questioned as to my sudden outburst.

“I don’t know, you just seem a little down” I covered up.

“Taylor, you’ve only been out here for about two minutes, how would you know if I seemed down in that short space of time?” He questioned.

Shit.

“I’m good at knowing when people are down or not, it only takes a minute” I lied.

“Whatever you say Rubano” He sighed as he rolled his eyes.

“Look, I came out here to see if you were alright okay and this is how you are? I don’t know why I fucking bothered” I spat, getting up.

Adam grabbed my wrist tightly and pulled me back down.

“Look, it’s like this, I-”

Adam was cut off by the door opening abruptly behind us, he let go of my wrist immediately and I can’t say I wasn’t grateful, that would’ve looked pretty weird.

“Hey guys, you up for pizza?” Matt announced.

“Yeah sure, that reminds me, Lidia owes me pizza, I don’t actually think she dialled the number” I said suspiciously.

Matt chuckled in response.

“Okay so Lidia is buying yours, what about you Adam, you game?”

“Uh…yeah okay” Adam sighed.

“Sorted” Matt grinned as he walked back inside, leaving the door open.

Adam just turned to look at me, glared, and got up.

“Woah, what the fuck?” I questioned.

“Just shut up Taylor, seriously” Adam glared.

“ Well fuck you, next time I won’t show any concern”

Adam’s face softened for a split second but then went back to the cold glare.

“Whatever” He spat as he walked back inside, slamming the door behind him.

Screw asking him to come bowling with us, and screw me being a little concerned.

I don’t know what I ever saw in that kid.