Status: not sure if I'll ever finish. I don't have much time anymore, but, never say never.
Because She Would Ask Me Why I Loved Her
Her Gracious Presence
November 15, 2007
My birthday wasn’t too bad, I mean, considering it is Halloween; it could have been much, much worse. My dad, of course, wasn’t in town on my birthday, since he was in Washington, but he still managed to talk with Momma and get me a Dolce & Gabana watch. My Granny had gotten me some shirts, which I can say is pretty good, considering one year she gave me underwear.
My other grandparents were supposedly sending my birthday gift, but I still haven’t gotten it, but they still assure me that it is coming, once it arrives to them. I don’t know why they would have it sent to their house and then send it to my house when I will be visiting them in December, but I don’t question them. Jackson decided that the earrings I normally wear are not appropriate to wear to “higher end” parties or anywhere else “fancy” so he took it upon himself to get me a pair of “fancy” earrings.
To my surprise, Kadence even got me a present. She, of course, waited until we were at her house on the Saturday after my birthday to give it to me, but when I opened it, I couldn’t believe my eyes.
Kadence had gotten me Guns N Roses’ “Greatest Hits” album. I didn’t even know she knew who GNR was, let alone how to find their greatest hits album. She constantly surprises me and keeps me on my toes, which is a good thing. As we were working together for the play, we grew closer to each other, getting to know each other more than we did before, which said something. I mean I grew up with Kadence and had known her since she was born but never really “got to know her” if you know what I mean. Now that we were spending most of our time together, it seemed only natural to get to know more about her.
As I got to know more about her, I realized something I had been denying, Kadence was beautiful both inside and out. Of course, I couldn’t tell her how I felt because I knew that it would not only sound strange to hear that from someone who used to make fun of you (or at least his friends did), but it would also sound like I was making it up, which I wasn’t. I decided to ask Kadence on a date as soon as the play was over, because by that point, we wouldn’t be in the play anymore (no more stress) and we could go back to our “normal” environments.
I could tell that it would be a test to see if I really believed in God’s timing because if He really wanted Kadence and me to go out after the play then I would have to trust Him to see if He would allow me back into her life, somehow, some way.
But, enough about the possible date that Kadence and I might go on, today was another day at school with rehearsal to follow. I woke up earlier than usual, because I wanted to be sure to talk with Kadence before Jackson came to school. This was something that just recently started between us, I would meet Kadence at Main Street around 7:00 and we would talk about anything and everything. We couldn’t talk for long though, because we had to get to school and Jackson always made it to school by 7:45 A.M. We drove our own cars, so as not to raise suspicion.
I woke up, put on my jeans and a Lost Angel shirt from Pacsun and then because it was November, I grabbed my faux leather jacket. I also grabbed my cell phone and saw that I had a voicemail. I checked it before going downstairs, it was Kadence. She said
“Kellan, it’s Kadence, I know we normally meet before school, but something has come up and I won’t be at school until lunch time. I really hope you understand. I tried calling you last night but you wouldn’t answer, so I am finally leaving you a message in the hopes you will get this before you leave. Once again, I am really sorry. God bless and good bye.”
Oh crap, she had tried to call me last night but I was working on homework and had my phone on silent for most of the night. Now, I felt like such a jerk, so I called her back to let her know that it was ok and I would see her at rehearsal.
Even though Kadence was going to be at school at lunch, I was unsure about how to spend my morning now. I started to walk downstairs while thousands of questions flooded my mind, questions about Kadence, questions about what I would do and everything in-between.
Momma noticed this when she saw me enter the kitchen, so she said,
“Kellan, why the long face?”
“Oh, nothing Momma, it’s just Kadence cannot meet this morning for some reason and now, for some reason I am getting stressed out, but it could be for nothing, right?”
“Of course son, it’s just that you like her and are worried about her. I am sure nothing is seriously wrong, because if it were, Jaime would have told me yesterday when we talked.”
I had forgotten that Mrs. Collins (Jaime) and Momma were so close, it always surprised me when I was younger that although our moms were the best of friends, Kadence and I were never even close to being friends, but here we are today and I find myself with a crush on Kadence Collins.
I told Momma that she was probably right because if it were really serious Kadence would miss the whole school day and rehearsal, but since she was coming in at lunch, it was ok.
I fixed myself some breakfast but didn’t really pay attention to what Momma was talking about; I was still focusing on all the questions.
Once I was finished, I just decided to go to the little park at Main Street after all, even if Kadence wasn’t there, it could serve as a place to clear my head, if only for a little while. I grabbed my book bag, said good-bye to Momma and drove to Main Street.
Once I got there, I sat down at the bench near the clock tower and looked up to the sky as if to say,
“What is going on? Am I supposed to be this confused and concerned or is it natural?”
Soon, I found myself praying and as I did, I started to feel a sense of calm come over me, and I knew it came from God. After opening my eyes, after my prayer, I checked my phone and saw that it was time for me to go to school. I drove to school and then saw Jackson’s car was already in the parking lot. Once I parked, I walked over to his car and we talked until we heard the warning bell. He told me that he would try and go to “The Sound of Music” on opening night, if he remembered it.
I went to my classes but didn’t really pay too much attention in them. I paid enough attention to get the material but that’s about it. I was still worried about Kadence, but when I saw her sitting at her table in the cafeteria, my nerves finally settled down. I saw that once again, somehow by fate, we matched in our clothes again. She was wearing a white shirt with a black skirt and black heels. I didn’t think it would be polite to ask her about it but I did go and sit next to her and said,
“Hope you are feeling better now Kadence.”
“Oh, Kellan, you surprised me. Yes, I am feeling better, thank you.”
We talked all during lunch and surprisingly, when I looked at my normal lunch table, I didn’t get bad or nasty looks from Jackson or Nikki, which was nice. After lunch, Kadence and I went to the Library where we read her Bible. This was something we had started just last week. We were just reading Psalms, two at a time, once a week, sometimes we would discuss them together but mostly we would just leave the interpretation to ourselves.
Today we read Psalms 3 and 4, which were amazing. It was the perfect read for me today, as though God knew I would need to hear these words and let Kadence start leading me in reading my Bible more than I had (which before this was only on Sundays and Wednesdays). My favourite verse had to be Psalm 4:1 “Answer me when I call to you, O my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress; be merciful to me and hear my prayer.”
After our Bible study, we went to Drama class.
Since “my children” were still in school and wouldn’t be out for another hour, we mostly rehearsed scenes that they weren’t in. I practiced with the girl who was playing Elsa, Mandy Hall and then watched Kadence practice singing. She was truly an angel when she sang, now I could clearly see why she loved it so much.
Around 3:00, the children showed up and to my amazement, “my children” and I were actually pretty close, by that I mean that they would at least give me a high five and didn’t ignore me when off-stage. The youngest girl, Reagan, who was playing Gretel (the youngest of the Von Trapp children) would actually give me a hug every once in a while. We rehearsed our scenes and then once again, I watched Kadence interact with them. Today’s scenes included the scene with the children and Maria singing “The Lonely Goatherd”. The first time I heard that song, I didn’t know how I was going to keep a straight face, it is so hilarious and the puppets are funny too.
After about another 2 hours of rehearsal, we were told we were done for the day, however, starting next week we would start having night rehearsals and would be getting our costumes to wear. After we were dismissed, Kadence and I walked to our cars talking about the play and our Senior Projects, the very ominous yet very demanding elephant in the room during all of our classes.
“So, Kadence have you figured out what your Senior Project is going to be?”
“Yes, I have Kellan; my Senior Project is about whether therapy animals really helps children with special needs. What about your Senior Project?”
“Oh, mine isn’t nearly as good as yours is Kadence.”
“I don’t know that, you haven’t told me yet, besides it got accepted by the committee so it has to be at least somewhat good.”
“I guess you are right. Ok, my Senior Project is interviewing people about an event that changed their lives, but I am also going to be putting an event that changed my life in there as well, just to add a ‘personal touch’ to it.”
“Oh Kellan, that sounds wonderful, have you put your ‘personal touch’ in there yet?”
“No, that’s just it, I don’t really know of anything in my life that I would consider life changing yet. I know some people would say the day they become a Christian but since I grew up in the church and nothing really horrible has happened to me, I don’t really think that would be apropos, so I guess I will just wait until the end of February/early March to see if anything happens.”
“Ok, if I can say something,”
“Sure Kadence, anything.”
“Well, I think that what you are looking for will happen sooner than you think and in a way you might not expect it either. God works in mysterious ways, as my father always says.”
“Thanks Kadence, see you tomorrow at the park?”
“Of course Kellan, just remember don’t stress over it, good bye!”
“Bye Kadence.”
♠ ♠ ♠
So sorry for the delay but Spring Semester just started and I have 8:00 A.M. classes every day! I will try and work on the chapters during the weekend but no promises. Also, my poor Tinkerbelle (one of my cats that you can see on my photos, she is the calico) has a bilateral ear infection so my parents and brother have to put drops in her ears (I am 3 hours away at school). If you don't know what a Senior Project is (I should have said this last chapter but forgot) it is a special project that students complete during their senior year of high school and they need to pass this project or else they don't graduate. I did not have to do one but then again, I went to a private school. I know that public schools in North Carolina (where this story takes place) they have to do a Senior Project because my cousins live in NC (one of them built his own computer as his SP). Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter :)Kellan's Birthday Gifts
November 15, 2007