Status: not sure if I'll ever finish. I don't have much time anymore, but, never say never.
Because She Would Ask Me Why I Loved Her
Wow...
December 13, 2007
Today is the day before we perform for "The Sound of Music" and I am surprisingly not nervous at all, but I am worried. I still haven't seen Kadence's dress for the "wedding scene". Both Kadence and Ms. Rosendale-Watkins have assured me numerous times that it will be ready by tomorrow night, it is going through some changes. All the girls love my costumes as the Captain, I swear, every time I walk backstage to get to the dressing room to change costumes, there is a line of girls just giggling away right behind the curtain. Of course, Kadence and the girls who play some of my children are the exceptions to the rule.
My friends have decided to come and support me tomorrow night. I use the term support lightly because Jackson is contstantly making comments about me being in a musical and how he cannot wait to see how well I can sing. However, he still says he will be there tomorrow, front row and center (if possible). I worry about that too, what if I look into the audience and there are my friends just holding in their laughs until the worst possible moment?
Despite the numerous rehearsals both here at school and at Kadence's house, not to mention the extra time I spent after doing my homework every night, I am still worried that I will mess up a line or part of a song. School itself isn't much better. I mean, sure I am doing great (for me) in my classes but I always stress myself out right before finals, which are coming up on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Kadence, being the sweet girl that she is and since I told her about my stress levels, offered to help me study for my finals starting Saturday after our performance at 2:30, since she is in most of my classes anyway.
During our monster of a final dress rehearsal, the only bad thing that happened was the little girl who plays my youngest daughter, Gretel, cried when she forgot a line. Kadence, of course being the motherly young woman that she is, hugged her and spoke encouraging words to her. After that 5 hour rehearsal, we were free to change back into our "street clothes" and go home, but were reminded to be back at the school the next night at 6, so we could get dressed, get our makeup on and miked by the time the show started at 8.
Before she went off stage, I asked Kadence,
"Hey, can I see you before you leave? After you get changed of course."
"Of course, Kellan, I shouldn't be more than 10 minutes but if I am, just wait for me, ok?"
"Sure, no problem."
I would wait forever for you...wait, where in the world did that thought even come from?
I rushed back to the boys' dressing room and once all the boys were inside, found my clothes and my little spot and started to change clothes. It seemed to take longer than I remembered, but maybe that was because I was so anxious to see Kadence after getting ready. After what seemed like forever, I announced to the rest of the boys that I was leaving the dressing room, so that they would know I was opening the door and walked out to the auditorium. Kadence was already waiting for me, sitting on the edge of the stage, just looking out at the empty seats.
It was the first time I had really noticed what she was wearing all day. She had on a long jewelled black shirt, so long that it was almost like a dress on her short frame. She also had leggings on, because it was so cold outside and to top it all off, she had on what appeared to be Chuck Taylor boots. I snapped out of my Kadence induced haze to say,
"Sorry to keep you waiting Kadence."
"Oh, Kellan, you scared me! It was not any trouble at all. I know how hard it is to change quickly in a dressing room with about 20 other people in the room saying 'unzip me' or 'where are my clothes' and they are all running around too."
"Um, I don't think I have the trouble of unzipping boys in my dressing room, but I still get the idea. Anyway, I wanted to say thank you so much for every thing you have done for me so far. I know I would have never gotten any of this done without your help."
"You are very welcome Kellan, it's not a big deal. God calls us all to help those around us and I knew you would need help, especially when you recall the look on your face when Ms. Rosendale-Watkins told you that you had gotten the role of the Captain. I really don't like to say this, but it was hilarious." she giggled after she said that and I started to feel warm inside for some reason
"Really now? Well, thanks...I guess."
"Oh, I am sorry Kellan, I really didn't mean to offend you!"
"No, I know you didn't, it's just no one has ever pointed that out to me, I mean, it's just that I had no idea I looked so scared."
"Oh, well you did, you looked like Ms. Rosendale-Watkins had told you you were going to have kittens or something."
"Well, thanks to you, I no longer fear musical theatre or Ms. Rsendale-Watkins."
"Well, Kellan, I really have to get home and start studying for finals, but I will see you tomorrow at school, ok?"
"Sure Kadence, see you then."
As she left, I couldn't help but think of how caring and patient she is with everyone, even people she doesn't know, even animals. I made my way to my car and once I got home, tried to start studying like Kadence has but couldn't, my mind was elsewhere, not a good sign.
Friday, December 14, 2007, Opening Night
To say that school took forever was an understatement. It seemed like all of my teachers wanted to go over every last detail of what would be on our final exams, even details that seemed so minute, that it seemed no one would ever be able to remember them. Thankfully, when I finally got to my free period, Kadence was already waiting for me in the library, Bible already open.
We silently read until I got to chapter 45, verse 11, which said,
"The king is enthralled by your beauty;
honor him, for he is your lord."
This opened my eyes to why Kadence never cared about anyone asking her out or why she never cared about her looks. She knew God found her beautiful and she also knew that one day someonemaybe me...again, where does that keep coming from? will too.
I kept this thought to myself and Kadence didn't ask for my opinions on any of the verses, so I guess today was a silent day for us both. Thankfully, my day improved after that, Ms. Rosendale-Watkins told us that our final exam, wasn't an exam at all, it was basically our performance in the play tonight, plus all of our other real grades in the class. I was nervous, once again but Kadence assured me that I would do well.
After being told to "break a leg tonight", Ms. Rosendale-Watkins dismissed us early from class and also told us to relax before curtain call at 6.
I saw that Kadence left as soon as she could get away from everyone and that was fine by me...I knew she had to hurry and get her dress from her tailor and then eat and do other things before returning to school. I too, had a ton of stuff to do in a short amount of time. But, I made it work and was actually on time when I returned to school at 5:55 P.M. Once I got there, I was immediatley told to go get dressed and then go to get my make up done and then get my microphone on and test it. talk about rush hour, it was like a zoo in FHS' auditorium, little kids running around, people walking in and out of the dressing rooms, some of the boys were half-dressed, crazy!
I got to the boys' dressing room unscathed from the madness and then once I found my hanger, started to change into my Captain's suit. Once I did that, I had to go to another spot to get makeup put on, which was not all that fun why do girls enjoy this?. Then, I had to find our tech crew and put on a microphone, which took some time because we had to make sure that it wouldn't be seen. After finally testing it and hearing that it worked I was told to sit in the dressing room and relax until everyone else finished.
After what seemed like an eternity, we all got called to come backstage for a group pow-wow. Kadence was already in her first costume of the night, her nun's habit. Ms. Rosendale-Watkins said,
"While this is a public school, I know most of you, if not all of you go to a church of some kind, so let us pray before we perform. Dear Heavenly Father, we thank you for our many blessings and we thank you that we have been blessed to perform this musical for the people of Franklin and we pray that they enjoy it just as much as we have enjoyed rehearsing it. We also pray for all of those who need your hand and we also pray that you will calm our nerves and help us perform this to the best of our abilities, in Jesus' name, Amen!"
With the "Amen"done , we were told to get into our places. I would not appear in the musical until after the 3rd song, so I sat in the wings, waiting for my cue. I saw the audience and surprisingly, Jackson seemed to enjoy himself, he didn't crack any jokes or laugh at any inappropriate times. When it was my cue, I went out and performed my heart out. Jackson again, did not do anything inappropriate, which was great and a relief.
After the first act and during intermission, I wanted to talk to Kadence but couldn't because she was getting ready for the next act, which is where I would finally see the dress that she would wear for "our wedding". So, I just changed into my next costume and waited. The first part of the second act went off without a hitch and then came the wedding scene. I stood on my mark and waited for Kadence to come, when she did, I was stunned.
She was beautiful, in every sense of the word. I swear I could have heard a pin drop, if it were not for the nun's singing and the wedding processional. My thoughts from the past few days finally made sense! But, I realized I could not say anything, apart from my lines and would have to wait until after our performances to act on these feelings.
After that, the rest of the show was amazing and at the end, we had a standing ovation. People congratulated me, even Jackson, who said,
"Didn't know you had it in you, that was so great!"
My mom started to cry and said,
"My baby, a star, you did so well honey!"
"Thanks Momma"
After the crowd stared to die down, I went back into the dressing room and tried to hurry up so I could see Kadence before she left but by the time I finished, she was already gone.
December 15, 2007, last rehearsal and studying
Well, this afternoon's performance was amazing too. In fact, Kadence's dress and beauty astounded me even more, if possible. Thankfully, we were studying together today, so I could finally work up the courage to say something to her!
We decided to study at my house in the dining room, so we had a table to spread everything at and we wouldn't be distracted by the tv or anything. I asked Kadence if she wanted to follow me to my house after the performance and surprisingly remembered where I lived. She said she would meet me there after she was finished getting dressed. I raced home and got my stuff together and put it on the dining room table.
The doorbell rang not 10 minutes later and I answered it. Kadence appeared wearing a "I'm scared of needles too" shirt with blue jeans and a pair of blue Chuck Taylors, she also had her pink bookbag. I was shocked to see her in blue jeans and I am sure it showed on my face because Kadence said,
"yes, Kellan, I do own a pair of blue jeans, I just don't like to wear them that much."
I showed her the way to the dining room and she put her bookbag on the ground and said,
"Ok, let's get started!"
4 hours later, we were just finishing talking about "A MidSummer Night's Dream", which was the last play we discussed in Brit Lit. Just before she left, I found the courage to finally talk to her so I said,
"Kadence, wait."
"What is it Kellan?"
"I wanna ask you something..."
"Ok"
"Will you go out with me on Friday night?
long silence
"It's ok if you say no, I will understand."
"No, it's not that Kellan."
"What is it then?"
"I'm not allowed to date."
HOLY SHIT!! What do I do now?
♠ ♠ ♠
I am SO sorry I haven't updated in like FOREVER, but I had an 8:00 AM class everyday all semester long and to top it off, it was a very busy semester. I am now on summer schedule but am taking a class this summer too, not fun. I have tried to update, really, but it has been hard! I am not promising when the next update will be but do not worry, I don't want to give up on this story, I have everything planned out, it is just a matter of when I can get it posted!links
Final Dress Rehearsal
Performance Time
Dining Room
Studying