Fear of Flying

The road was uneven, and it seemed as though she encountered a pothole every other minute.

It may have been because of her worn tires, or maybe she was just paranoid.

Maybe it was nothing.

Her car was a prehistoric thing; she had inherited it from her grandfather on her sixteenth birthday. Now three days shy of turning nineteen, she found herself in the middle of nowhere, driving like a maniac.

Her hands shook, and she gripped the steering wheel so tight, her knuckles turned white.

She heard the pitter-patter of rain on the roof, but continued driving. She couldn’t turn back now, she had gotten so far. She had already sent out the letters to her parents, her little brother Rick, and all her friends.

They wouldn’t miss her that much.

She had it planned it for months now, perfecting every detail and finding the right moment.

Her parents would come home from work to find the tiny envelope on the dining table. They would open it, and her mother would cry, and emit epileptic-like sobs for over an hour.

She was always too overdramatic.

Her parents were sure to tell him, and she could imagine his face as he heard the news. This made her press her foot harder on the gas pedal.

”Peter!”

Her voice came out in a squeak, as Peter wrapped her arms around her and tugged her on the sofa. She collapsed into his side

.
“Robin,” he breathed out, pressing a tender kiss on her nose.

“Yeah?” she giggled, snuggling even closer to his side. His parents were out for the weekend, and they were spending much needed alone time together.

“I love you.”

She looked up at him now, her bright green eyes as wide as saucers.

They were both so young. Both so naive.

Were they ready for love?

“You mean it?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Of course,” he proclaimed, just like Prince Charming, “I’ll always love you.”

“I can’t believe it.”

“Why?” he asked, tilting her chin up. “You’re beautiful.”

“Nobody at school thinks that.” she muttered, and Peter flinched slightly, remembering the taunts and jeers. “They think I’m ugly. They think I’m crazy.”

“You’re like a caterpillar.” He laughed, kissing her cheek. She gave him a sceptical look. “You’re going to turn into a butterfly one day, and you’ll prove them all wrong.”

She looked at her boyfriend. She was so lucky to have him.

“Hey Peter?”

“Yeah?” he turned his warm chocolate eyes towards her.

“I love you too.”

She stared at the road in front of her. The weather had gotten worse in such a short moment of time.

Lighting painted the sky every couple of seconds, thick bright lines contrasting against the murky gray. Thunder followed, shaking Robin’s car and the ground surrounding it. It was supposed to be one of the worst storms of the year.

She pushed harder, eager to reach her destination. To get it over with.

”Peter?” her voice was lost now, her emerald eyes confused and alarmed. He stood up, his clothes dishevelled and his lips swollen. His eyes widened.

“It’s not what it looks like, baby!”

Her eyes travelled to the bed, where a topless girl sat, her brown hair cut in an elegant bob. Her makeup was smudged, and her eyelids began to sag. The girl yawned. She didn’t seem the least bit bothered.

Robin didn’t say anything. She didn’t know if she could even manage syllables at the moment, let alone words.

An eerie silence settled in the air, as Peter waited for his girlfriend of three and a half years to say something. Robin’s eyes darted from Peter’s face to the girl’s body, before it finally registered in her brain.

Peter had cheated.

Tears began to cloud her vision, and she knew it wasn’t safe to drive like this. She was a wreck. An absolute mess. But she didn’t care.

The weather was horrifying. The trees thrashed together violently, the leaves on the ground rising up and soaring through the breeze.

She pulled her car to a halt, reaching her destination.

The ground was cracked, and full or pebbles and auburn colored rocks. The bottom of her jeans were already stained by the orange dirt, and as she stepped onto the rock, she felt at home.

She looked down, ignoring the lump in her throat. She smiled at what she saw.

Rocks, lots of rocks.

Aside from rocks, she could see the rough water, swirling beneath her. It was perfect. She closed her eyes once more, letting the memories take her.

”Peter!”

Robin watched as the girl from the bedroom latched herself onto Peter’s right arm. He smiled at her, kissing her on the lips.

She watched in envy as Peter whispered something in her ear, and she giggled, squeezing his hand.

She had been in that position up until two and half weeks ago, and the heartbreak was still fresh. She hadn’t said anything to Peter since the bedroom incident, but she didn’t have to. They both knew it was over between them.

Peter had been her best friend, her boyfriend and her life. She didn’t know what she would do without him.

His had new girlfriend, the brunette she had learned was Diane. Oh how she hated Diane.

They were nearing her now; he was totally oblivious to the fact that she was there. Or maybe not.

“Hello Robin,” Peter nodded curtly, as though he had done nothing wrong.

As though he hadn’t cheated on her with a girl two sizes smaller and a whole lot prettier. As though he hadn’t ripped her heart into a billion pieces and stepped on it afterwards.

She watched the happy couple walk past her, holding hands and kissing. She felt her heart wither to nothing, when she heard four important words escape his mouth.

“I love you, Diane.”

Her foot was at the edge now. Her toes were off the ledge, ready to fall.

In her mind, she said her goodbyes.

Goodbye to her tranquil father and her overdramatic mother. Goodbye to her innocent little brother. Goodbye to her best friends Andrea and Katy. Goodbye to Diane and her man-stealing ways. Goodbye to Peter.

The image of her mother appeared in her mind. Her father would rub circles on her back while Rick would ask questions and her mother would continue to weep. Robin felt bad for a minute, and began to feel as though she shouldn’t go through with it.

But then the image changed. Everyone was wearing black, and people were crying. The funeral would be small, if they found her body. Nobody really liked her anyway. Peter would be there, with man-stealing Diane. And that was enough to pull her through.

She took one last breath, mumbling her goodbyes aloud this time.

“Goodbye Peter,” she whispered to the air.

She would fly. She would fly and she wouldn’t be the caterpillar anymore. She wouldn’t be lonely and she wouldn’t have a cheating boyfriend who she still loved.

She wouldn’t have to deal with others stealing things from her. She wouldn’t have to deal with a torn heart.

Because now she would be a butterfly, and she would be free.

She would fly. She would be free and she would fly.

And then she jumped.