Lost You Once, I'm Not Losing You Again

I hissed as my hand accidentally brushed against the bruise on my rib cage. You could say yesterday my Dad wasn't happen when he hadn't gotten the raise he wanted at work, let's just say that didn't end to well...

Today I was going to school, even though I should just stay home and let my bruises heal. I didn’t just want to miss the second day of school for no good reason that’s just dumb. Even the guys would come looking for me to see if I was okay, when I really wasn’t.

I touched the bruise under my eye, and my busted lip had a scab on it already. Wearing cover up wouldn’t hide everything, so might as well just go. I sighed; really people were going to ask me if I was okay, or what happened to me, and I would just go and tell them I was on the wrong side of town or just fell. Just some form of white lie to make them stop asking.

My hoodie fit loosely on my body, so it wouldn’t bother the very painful bruises. Before my Dad left (he was sober,) he told me my car was in the garage back from the auto shop and I could drive instead of walk from now on. He even asked me what happened; I just told him it was gym class. Of course he believed me, and just went to work not even knowing what pain he caused me.

As I walked down stairs, not even bothering to eat, I grabbed my car keys and just walked outside. Yah I was late but my Dad said it was okay, considering the condition I was in. He was nice when he was sober, but was really out of control when he drank.

The drive felt like forever, but I finally pulled up. People were already running inside hoping to not be late, but I couldn’t run or I would hurt myself. I took my time to walk inside and get the late pass I needed and just began towards 1st period, dragging my feet behind me.

When I opened the door, the teacher ignored my interruption and when along with his lesson. The students though, their eyes went wide at the sight of my face. I’m guessing it looked bad.

I just walked to my normal seat; placing my bag like a pillow on top of my desk. Pete was sitting next to me and snapped out of sleeping haze when he saw me. “Dude, what happened to you?” He whispered; his eyes wide. “Nothing.” I mumbled and apparently he heard me and just gave me a strange look.

--3rd period—

It was getting pretty annoying with people asking me: “What happened?!” “Are you okay?!” They seriously don’t know when to stop. Urie and Walker were around to give me some pretty strange looks, and every time I passed them; I got this really strange feeling but then
was pulled to go talk to some random person or something.

Everything was boring, like right now where I am in third period. This teacher fucking hates me. You're probably think "Oh Ryan it's only the second day he doesn't hate you!" Like hell he doesn't. He remembers Brendon from three years ago when his memory was bad as fuck and decided to put us next to each other! Here comes the good part, and the person we sit next to is our official partner for the rest of the year.

Alright I've partially have come to hating him, yesterday seemed like a flash of old feelings. Today is a flash of old hate. Pretty much I know he told Jon things he shouldn't have with the ways they kept looking at each other. I don't care; I just find it annoying how three years later he decides to fight back.

The teacher began talking about our projects and how they were very important if we wanted to pass for our last year, through the entire he was doing this Brendon was glaring at me or something trying to make me upset. I just sat there staring at my desk, not liking the fact he wouldn't stop staring. It's makes you feel very very uncomfortable.

At the end though he finally got the guts to speak to me. The bell rang and I began to gather my books when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and he stood there giving me this look. "So nothing has changed?" He asked. Okay now I'm confused. "What do you mean?" He rolled his eyes. "At home." I gave him this probably painful look. Shaking my head I turned away from him and walked out of the room.

He still remembers that part of my old history... well now part of my new history. Travis is very protective of me, I didn't tell him, but I know he is trying to think of ways of why I come to school all normal and the next day come back covered in cuts and bruises.

Teachers would even give me that same look; as if they were trying to see right through me. Of course no one could as I put on smile to try to cover things up to make it better, when in reality it was getting worse.

Two more periods then lunch, it was nice enough outside so I could just relax in the sun for a while. People would see how much more painful looking the cut was on my lip but I didn't mind, I just needed more air then I did school.

Grabbing my books Gabe was leaning against the locker next to mine with a smile on his face. "What happened to you?" He asked not even sounding a bit sympathy in his words. "None of your business." I hissed. He was really being a douche bag lately, maybe William wasn't giving him the attention he needs or some shit. Either that or he has a stick shoved up his ass. He rolled his eyes. "Ross come on what happened, go all emo over no cell phone?"

I turned to face him stopping my walking. "Okay that was about the dumbest comeback or whatever that was and no I actually don't give a fuck about my phone." I stated and turned back around, walking towards my class. Tonight Spencer was getting home and I couldn't wait to talk to him!

--Lunch Time--

Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, the guys were with me outside trying to guess what happened to me. All their answers were of course wrong but I didn't want to tell them that so I just told them that they were getting closer when someone said that probably someone was mad at me for some unknown reason. Okay yah I know that is pretty much true, but they don't know.

Brendon's words kind of came back to me as they began to talk about some random TV show. He really had remembered and was studying my face to recall these certain things about me. Well who wouldn't forget that, when that was the complete reason we weren't friends. At the time he was way to special for me to lose. What if he was there when my Dad got mad and he got hurt? I just couldn't stand the thought. The other part of me just hated how he had the perfect life. He had a Mom, his Dad was at least not beating him to death, he had a normal life.

One day you just snap after seeing someone so happy and your life is just... so pathetic.

"Ryan? Ryan?" I snapped out of my thoughts and looked up at William trying to get my attention. "Hmm?" I asked not knowing what to say. "You okay?" He asked, apparently being cautious with his choice of words. I nodded my head. "You sure?" Travis asked me. "Yah." I replied barely above a whisper.

Everyone at the table shot each other glances then looked back at me. "Ryan, are you keeping something from us?" Pete asked braking the looks and glances. I looked up at them and sighed. "No, I'm fine, just tired is all." Okay I told them the same thing yesterday with being tired but they seemed to have forgotten about that. "You said that yesterday." Gabe stated chiming in with his annoying voice.

Again eyes came back to me. I shrugged. "Does it matter?" I asked point blank. They all still didn't look certain but after a while seemed to get less nosy.

I averted my eyes away from the edge of the table towards the tree that was located not far from where we were sitting. No one was there and I didn't want to listen to them talk. I actually excused myself and walked over sitting down in the shade.

I sat with my legs crossed and my hands in my lap just staring at them. Studying them seemed more of the way to put it. Walking could be heard coming towards the grassy area, but many people were walking by and talking. Some girls even gawking over me and how cute I was just sitting there lost in my own world, not even knowing I could hear them.

Then someone sat in front of me. I looked up and there sat Jon Walker. I got creeped out by this, considering number one: I don't know him, Second: He was friends with a person that hates my guts.

"Umm hi?" I half asked half said. "I have a question for you." He stated. Okay this is weird O.O

"Did you ever like Brendon?" He asked.