How A Heart Breaks

A party? Now how the hell could I say no to that! Just hearing about it excited me. There was no way I was saying no, so immediately I agreed to go, party,and get drunk.

It was your average party really. There were girls everywhere showing too much skinwhich I didn’t mind. There were flashing lights, a dance floor, a DJ, and a hell of a lot of beer that I drowned myself in almost immediately.

It had been so long since I got to actually set lose like this that I didn’t really pay attention to what or how much I was drinking. All I know is that when I finished one I’d get another, and another, and another until things were spinning, becoming blurry, and I wasn’t exactly sure what I was doing or even where I was.

My shirt was lost. I glared at the floor, trying to find it. Where the hell did it go? I…I was so wearing it when I got here. So where the fuck is it? That little bastard…who said he can run away from me?

Exactly, no one! When I get a hold of him, he’s so done for.

“Hey, you’re Porter Stantan, right?” An unfamiliar feminine voice spoke from behind me.

I stumbled to the right while trying to turn, but managed. The pretty blonde giggled cutely as she looked me from head to toe. I threw on a huge grin and shouted, “That’s me! And who are you?”

“I’m Robin,” she introduced herself, but I couldn’t tell which one did. There were three of her! Holy hell, how’d they all get there? Maybe she’s a triplet and they all have the same name! That has to be it…

The pretty Robinsplural because there’s more than one I tell you tugged me off to the dance floor where we became permanently attached. Her hands were roaming to places they really shouldn’t be, but I wasn’t about to tell her to stop.

Something in the back of my head was screaming at me to stop, but I was so plastered that I could hardly hear it. My chest was tightening with guilt and I felt my stomach twist uncomfortably as Robin tugged me to a deserted room.

When we kissed, I felt bad, like I shouldn’t be doing it, but the pleasure and alcohol was blocking out that and allowing me to focus on her. Still, something was telling me this wasn’t right,it didn’t feel that right.

The alcohol though was making my brain fuzzy. So fuzzy, that I didn’t stop myself from making the same mistake twice…

~

I woke up the next morning in a motel room with a throbbing head. Groaning, I ran my fingers through my hair and tugged. It didn’t take the pain away, but it was worth a try.

“Damn it,” I grumbled, pushing myself up onto my elbows. My eyes slowly adjusted to the dim lighting of the room and I realized that Julian, Hayden, and I were once again sharing a room.

They were sleeping on the other band, hands and legs thrown in all different directions. I smirked at their funny hair styles. Their hair were pointing in so many different ways that I didn’t think it was gravitationally possible.

I chuckled, but groaned a second time. My stomach was twisting and I knew what was coming.

I bolted to the bathroom where I threw up the contents from last night; alcohol. My head rested on the cool toilet seat until I finished emptying my gut into the toilet. The noise I was making woke up Julian who yawned and came into the bathroom to hold back my hair, which I need to cut it’s getting long, while I threw up.

“Thanks Jules.” I smiled and took the towel he handed me to take the remains off my lips.

“No problem,” he mumbled with a frown. One that told me something was wrong.

I tilted my head to the side and asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Um…do you remember last night?” He asked, eyes staring at himself through the mirror rather than at me.

That question startled me. No, of course I didn’t. I got completely plastered that I had no idea what the fuck I was doing. But something was telling me I did something wrong…Julian had that look. You know, the one where something looked wrong but they were going to beat around the bush before telling exactly what it was? Yeah, that one.

I answered him, “No. Why, what happened?”

Julian looked at me, mouth opened, about to speak, when a familiar and angered voice interrupted him. “You broke your promise.”

Both Julian and I looked back at Pash, who had somehow gotten into the doorway without us realizing it. Julian bit his bottom lip and mumbled a bye before darting out of the restroom, closing the door behind him to leave me and a furious Pash.

“Pash?” I asked, slightly frightened by the glare he had aimed on me. “W-Why…why a-are you looking at me l-like that?”

“You promised!”

I flinched at his tone.

“You fucking promised you wouldn’t do it again, Porter! You told me you wouldn’t. You gave me your word. You pinky swore, and as childish as that is, you and I never broke those promises before, but you did! You’re so fucking stupid!” Pash hollered, and every word he said got me more and more confused. What did I do?

My question was answered before I asked.

“You fucked a girl, again! You promised me that you wouldn’t let it get to your head, but you broke that promise. You told me that you wouldn’t do it again, but you did! How can we be in a fucking band when we can’t even trust you?”

My eyes widened in shock. Had I…really? “I…I-I didn’t mean to though! I can’t even remember it! Pash, I’m sorry. I got drunk I didn’t…mean to…if I were sober I swear I wouldn’t have done it!”

Pash shook his head, disappointed. “I don’t care! Sober or drunk, you still broke our promise. Maybe you should have done something smart for once in your life and not drink so much? Damn it, you’re so stupid.”

I stood up, ready to apologize once more, but Pash shook his head once more and looked at me. I felt my heart shatter at the defeated look in his eyes. It tore my heart out of my chest to see that sadness and hurt swimming in his blue irises…and I couldn’t believe I had put that there.

“Just forget it Porter…just forget it,” Pash whispered and walked out of the room.

Damn…I really screwed up, didn’t I?