How A Heart Breaks

I squint into the dirty, tiny mirror of the public bathroom. My eyes immediately become fixated on the side of my neck, where the bruised flesh stands out like a sore thumb. It seems like its happy to be there, the proud bold color nearly leaps off of my neck. And I don’t think anyone could miss this thing. I grunt, leaning into the mirror to further examine it, and lightly skim my fingertips over it.

I jump slightly when the door creaks loudly- the hinges are rusty and this might have to be the creepiest Target I’ve ever been in. Shit, it has to be the first one made, ever. No wonder it seems like we’re the only people here (besides the people that work here). The guy stalking up the isles looks like John Wayne Gacy, and it gives me the fucking creeps.

I glace quickly toward the door, and Nathan is standing there with his hands in his pockets.

“You did not go to the bathroom in here.” It wasn’t a question- he said it in disbelief. I scoff, and roll my eyes at him, turning away from the mirror.

“Obviously not. That old guy probably masturbated onto the seats or something.” Nathan begins to laugh, but he stops short. The very moment his eyes begin to squint, I know exactly what hes looking at. I mutter a soft ‘oh god’, and try to walk passed him. He places a hand on my chest and pushes me back.

“Wow, Porters turned you into a little bitch, hasn’t he?” I glared my infamous glare at him, but in turn, I only receive Nathans’ infamous grin. I begin to walk out of the bathroom, purposefully bumping my shoulder against Nathans. He makes a ‘umf’ sound, and follows me out the door.

“Where’s Porter?” Okay, so I am a little worried about him. He can’t look the way he does and have Mr. Gacy over there be normal about it. Because, Mr. Gacy wouldn’t be able to hold himself back, so to be safe, I’m finding Porter and getting him the hell out of here.

“I don’t know. Toys? Food?” Nathan says, falling in step with me. Above us, a shitty light begins to flicker and this paranoia thinks some serial killer is about to turn the lights off and stalk us in the shadows. Of course, the logical me knows that’s not really likely, but I speed up my walking anyways.

“I think we should find another store,” I mumble, scanning my eyes on every isle, not spotting Porter in any of them. Nathan starts to laugh and I turn to him quickly, narrowing my eyes. “What?” I sneer.

“You’re terrified right now,” He chuckles, “Dude, its Target. No ones going to kill us.”

I scoff, “That’s what people said about Ted Bundy.” Nathan doesn’t get the reference, and he looks at me with furrowed brows. Before he can ask who that is, I shake my head and tell him to find the rest of the band while I find Porter. So, Nathan and I split up, I watch him skip down the isles for a moment. He’s singing ‘Firework’ by Katy Perry and seems completely at ease. I figure that’s how I should be- at ease. But, I still tip toe down the isles, shifting my eyes in different directions hoping to find Porter.

Fifteen minutes later, after rounding the entire store, I can’t spot him anywhere. My paranoia becomes hyper active, and I swear, my heart’s about to explode or something. I keep thinking the worst, and how I lost him once and I can’t lose him again because I think I’d just about keel over. My brain has split itself into two decisions: keep looking around in target with Mr. Gacys haunting eyes seemingly following me or go outside, where the rest of the band probably is waiting and see if Porter’s with them.

I think they should listen to me more often- I told them that this little stop they made could wait. I told them that there was food in the airport, and once we got there, we would be set. I mean, I don’t know about them, but I’m ready to be home. I’m ready to be with Porter without everyone up our damn asses all the time. Apparently, though, they weren’t as eager to get home, and of course, Porter used that persuasive pout to get me to agree to this.

So, I’m being over dramatic, and a little more than slightly paranoid. That though, I scan my eyes around the store again, and begin to turn to leave. I smack right into Mr. Gacy, who walks like a bloody vampire. I didn’t even hear him behind me.

“Can I help you something?” I swear his eye twitches. The guy reaches a hand up to smooth gelled hair back, and I step back.

“No,” I tell him, keeping my voice even. “I was just leaving.”

“Hey, you silly billy!” Thank god. Porter. I knew he was still here. I let out a breath of relief and look back at the creepy employer, giving him a hesitant smile. I turn to Porter, grabbing his hand and begin to walk out.

“Don’t…disappear like that.” I growl

“Aw!” Porter squeals, “did I scare you?” I roll my eyes.

“Did you get what you needed?”

“No,” he shrugs, “I didn’t want anything from here.” But, of course he didn’t. I bite my tongue to stop myself from making a remark- I’m just happy to have him here and finally be getting to the airport. I nearly drag Porter behind me as I practically run out of the store.

When we get outside, Nathan’s leaning against our van. When he see’s us, he smirks.

“So, he wasn’t a serial killer, then?” He chuckles.

“What?” Porter looks up at me, “who”

“No one,” I say quickly, glaring at Nathan. He just laughs…prick.

The plane ride seemed to last so much longer than it was. The rest of them had all fallen asleep at times, but I was so restless. I was awake for each second, minute. It was making me anxious. So, when the plane finally was landing, I could hardly wait to unbuckle my seatbelt. I think I was the first one to do so, even. I stood up, grabbed the one carry on we had, and nearly ran to the exit, without the rest of them. I was just about to step down the stairs to get out of the plane, when Porter laces his fingers through mine.

“Home,” he says. And I can hear the smile in his voice.

I smile to myself.