Light Me On Fire

11:53. That was the first time my phone rang. After screening the call, and seeing John's name pop up, I ignored it. But then, the damned thing kept ringing and buzzing on top of my nightstand and I knew if I allowed it to keep ringing, it would eventually wake my parents up. With a heavy sigh, I grabbed it off of the stand.

"What the hell do you want?" I seethed.

"Sophie, you answered!" John's voice a mix of shock and excitement.

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, I did. Glad we figured that out."

"Did I wake you up?" he asked.

"Not really, but I was just about to fall asleep."

"Oh."

I scoffed. "Look, did you call for a reason?"

He sighed. "Soph, can we talk about what happened earlier?"

"I'd really rather not. I'm not in the mood to discuss it."

"Well, can you just hear me out?"

I glanced at the clock. 11:57. "I'll give you one minute."

"Thanks," he said.

"Yeah, yeah, just say what you need to say."

I heard him inhale a large breath of air. "For starters, I'm sorry. I said some hurtful things earlier and I wish I could take them back."

I rolled my eyes again, although he couldn't see. "Yeah, well that's the thing, you can't take it back. And to be honest, I'm glad that I finally know how you feel."

"Sophie, you know that what I said isn't true." He sounded sincere and honest, but I was still hurt and I wasn't in the mood for apologies.

"Yeah, whatever, John."

"Sophie, don't be like that, please?"

I felt the tears accumulate in my eyes and I cursed myself for it. Since when did I get so fucking emotional? "John, it's late and I'm tired."

"You said I had a minute, though."

"Okay, fine. Keep going," I told him.

"You know that I love you, Soph. You've been my best friend for so long, and I hate that we've all of a sudden started having arguments, because we've never fought this much, ever. You've always been the one person I know I can count on to never give up on me. Even when I do the dumbest shit, you're always right there, offering me your hand. You've pushed me to continue singing, to do better in school, and to just be a better person. I honestly don't know what I would do without you, Sophia."

I wiped my eyes and stared up at my cream-colored ceiling. "You would be fine without me, JohnO." My voice was small and almost inaudible, which was unusual for me, because I wasn't the shy type.

"No, I wouldn't, and we both know that." He went silent for a moment, before continuing, "When you brought up the whole . . . virginity thing, I just kind of panicked. I haven't thought about that night in a long time, and it just sort of surprised me."

I held the phone away from my ear for a moment, sniffled, and then pressed it against my ear again. "You act like we committed a crime."

"No, no, I'm not saying that." He sighed. "A few days after that night, Ellie and I started going out and I guess for my sake, more than anything else, I tried to forget what we did, because I didn't want it to ruin our friendship. So, I went on acting like everything was normal, and when I saw that you were doing the same, I sort of figured that you were over it. And, when Elle and I had sex for the first time, she asked me if I was a virgin . . . " His voice trailed off, leaving his sentence hanging in the air.

After a moment, I groaned. "And you told her no, right?"

"No, not exactly . . . I told her that I was."

I laughed, although I was shocked. When Elle had come to me the next day, explaining all the details of her and John's first sexual encounter, she failed to mention that detail. "Wow," was all I said.

"It's just . . . she was a virgin, and I didn't want her to think that I messed around with a lot of girls, so I told her that I was too. I mean, it wasn't exactly like I was experienced, or anything, either, so she bought it."

"Okay, and did you need to tell me this to clear your guilty conscience?" I asked him curtly.

"I just wanted you to know, Sophie, that's all. And . . . I really do love Elle, even with all the arguments and fights that we have, I love her to death. She was with me before the guys and I got popular, and so I know that she's not just with me for kicks."

I rolled my eyes. Sometimes, John could irk my nerves like no other. Had he forgotten that I was the one who was there before he even discovered he could sing? "Well then, I guess it's a good thing you're with her."

"Look, you know her better than anybody else, and you know that Ellie has her . . . days, but she's also a great person on the inside. But I still feel like you don't, I don't know, like us together?"

I scoffed. "I have no problem with you and Elle being together, John. If I did, I wouldn't have introduced you two to each other."

"Right," he said.

Silence swept over the line for a moment, and I sighed. "Look, can we just forget about this whole thing? I'm tired and I want to go to sleep, and I don't want to keep fighting with you."

"Do you forgive me?"

No. But, of course, I couldn't say that out loud. I didn't forgive him for taking my heart and stomping on it, but then again, it wasn't his fault. It was my fault for stupidly falling in love with him - my best friend. "Yes," I mumbled.

I could almost see his infamous smirk stretching across his face. "Thank you, Sophie."

"You're welcome. Goodnight," I said, ready to hang up.

"Wait," he stopped me.

"What?"

"Am I walking to school tomorrow?"

I laughed. "No, asswipe, I'll take you."

"I love you!"

"I love you, too, John." In love with you - but I left that part in my head.

"Goodnight, Soph."

I hung up and set my phone back on my nightstand. I closed my eyes and sighed. Things would be so much easier right now, had I never realized my feelings for John.

___________________________________________________________

I shut the door to my house as I stepped outside and held my bag in my hand, swinging it back and forth. As I looked up, I stopped in my tracks. Nick was leaning against his car in my driveway. I arched my brows and smiled, walking up to him.

"What're you doing up this early, Nick?"

He laughed. "I thought I'd come surprise you, and give you a ride to school."

I gave him a hug. "Why thank you, sir. I appreciate that."

"Not a problem, malady." He walked over to the passenger side with me, and opened the door.

"Gracias," I told him.

He smiled. "De nada." It took only a second for him to walk over the driver's side and get in.

"So, what made you want to give me a ride?"

He shrugged his shoulders and began reversing out of my driveway. "Just figured we haven't talked since the party."

I laughed. "That wonderful party."

He laughed, too. "Yeah, that party."

It wasn't until we merged onto the main street, that I remembered John. "Oh, Nick, before you start heading towards the school, we've got to make a stop."

"Where at?" he asked.

"John's house."

"His parents still haven't given him back his license?"

I shook my head. "Nope."

He laughed. "Damn, that must suck."

I smiled. "It does. He always makes me late."

Nick shook his head and turned up the radio, which was currently playing a mixed CD of his. I drummed my hands on my bag, and leaned my head against the window. I was still tired from going to bed late, and I'd be paying for it around lunch time, when sleep would hit me.

"Tired?" Nick asked.

I nodded my head. "I was up late."

"Doing what?" He looked at me and wriggled his eyebrows.

I laughed. "Yeah, 'cause I really have someone to fuck around with."

He laughed. "You never know."

I smirked. "True. Anyways, John called me around midnight last night."

"Ah, late night calls."

I laughed. "Shut up, Nick."

He pulled into John's driveway and honked twice. A minute later, John came running out of the door and as he approached the car, he stopped right before it, staring.

I rolled down my window. "Get in, fucker. I can't be late again."

"Who - Nick?" he asked, leaning in my window.

"The one and only," Nick replied.

John laughed and got in the backseat. "Why are you up this early?"

He shrugged. "Just thought I'd swing by and give Sophia here a ride to school, but she mentioned that your ass needed a ride, too."

"Well, thanks," he said.

"No problem, bro."

I listened as they made small talk and only interjected every once in awhile. When we pulled up to the school, I grabbed my bag and began to open the door, but Nick stopped me. He looked back at John, who had his brows arched in curiosity.

"Give us a minute?" Nick asked.

John nodded his head slowly. "Yeah . . . sure." He got out and walked a few feet away.

I looked at Nick. "What's up, Santino?"

He smiled. "Well, I have a question for you."

I laughed. "And what would that be?"

"Are you busy tonight?"

I shook my head. "Nope."

"Wanna go out to eat, say around six?" He gave me a big smile.

"Are you asking me out on a date, Nick?"

"Maybe."

I laughed. "Well, six sounds good to me." I got out and looked at him. "You're picking me up after school, right?"

He nodded his head. "Two-thirty?"

"Two-thirty."

He smiled. "Bye, Soph."

I laughed. "Bye, Nick." I walked over to John, who was standing in front of the doors, giving me a probing look. "What?"

"What was that about?"

"What was what about?"

He sighed and threw his hands in the air. "What did Nick want?"

"Oh," I said and slung my bag over my shoulders. "Well, it seems I have a date tonight." I watched his expression carefully, and noted that he seemed a bit confused.

"You . . . and Nick?"

"Yes, John; me and Nick."

He opened the door for me and clicked the roof of his mouth with his tongue. "Who would have guessed."

I rolled my eyes and walked into the school, with him following behind me. "You seem bothered."

"I'm not."

"Right."

As we passed the office, Ellie was coming out and when she saw John and I, she ran straight into his arms.

"Good morning, baby!" she squealed, being lifted into the air by John.

"Good morning, love!"

I felt a pang of jealousy hit me and I started for my locker. "See ya guys later." I walked off, not bothering to listen for their replies.

It wasn't until I got my locker open, that it hit me - if John wanted to play around with my emotions, I could just as easily play with his.