I Love You, Benjamin Stone

Annaleigh

After Curtis dropped to the floor with a heavy thump, I followed. I dropped to my knees quickly and lifted his head with my one good hand onto my lap in panic. His eyes were firmly shut and mouth slightly parted, allowing for him to breathe softly and rhythmically. So far, this was good and his head wasn’t split open like a watermelon or anything like I feared it would. Instead, Curtis was going to find that he’d have a splendid goose egg on the back of his head, which I hoped he would take notice of before giving people a reason to cuff him good.

Rex, on the other hand, was standing off to the side with his jaw hanging loosely. I don’t think that he expected Curtis to actually faint at his comment. What he did expect was for Curtis to spit out some nasty comments or even punch him in the face. Luckily for the blond idiot, he did neither. The last thing I needed was a fight in my house, only to have my father walk in and scream about how teenage orgies are not allowed in his house. Most of you are wondering if he’d actually say that, I’d bet every ounce of money I’d make in my life that he would.

“Curtis? Curtis, are you alright?” I questioned frantically and tapped his cheek with my hand as gently as I could. Curtis’ eyes remained closed and there was still nothing but the sound of his breathing (or mine, since I was on the verge of hyperventilation) and Rex’s muffled laughter. Right now, if I had a frying pan or any other heavy object, I would beat Rex with it. What I had to settle for was the little fuzzy bunny toy I had sitting in the corner from the best years of my life: ages one to three.

“Hey now!” Rex whined as the rabbit bounced off of his face and onto the floor. His hand reached up and touched his face carefully. I scowled at him and let Curtis’ head slide from my lap onto the floor. Another goose egg wouldn’t make a difference, would it? The next thing I knew, I was face to face with Rex and was jabbing my index finger into his chest, ranting wildly about having respect for other people’s feelings and about starting conflict in my household.

“You’re a disgrace and you’ve… you’ve tainted my house with your stupidity! I can’t believe you actually said those things to another person, knowing very well how it’ll affect them in such a negative way! It’s preposterous and I want you to go home!” My voice had hit that freaky octave that was so high, you could barely understand the words coming out of my mouth. When I finally finished, my throat itched and it lead me to cough.

The corner of Rex’s mouth twitched and he blinked a few times before letting out a low whistle. I ran my hand through my hair and scowled defiantly at him, turning back to see if Curtis was still alright. I could hear Rex walk slowly beside me and felt the air churn as he leaned down beside me. Rex eyed me cautiously and then poked Curtis’ cheek with a finger, almost like he was testing his boundaries. I slapped his hand away and glared angrily.

“You know MP, you can give a pretty intense rant when you want to. Have you ever considered becoming a teacher? Or maybe a lawyer of some sort?” His eyes twinkled with mischief. He kept trying to poke Curtis’ cheek and finally, I grabbed his hand and clenched it.

“No and I’m not about to either. It’s not my fault that I feel the need to stand up for someone who’s being bullied by another!” I hissed through clenched teeth. Rex smiled slightly and glanced down at our entwined hands. His eyebrow raised slightly.

“Can you consider this to be bullying?” he asked as he nodded down toward my hand, which was still clenched onto his tightly. “I mean, you’re not only physically abusing me but emotionally too. Maybe I ought to start crying so that your mom will give me a comforting hug.”

My mouth dropped open and I pulled my hand away with a hefty noise of disapproval.

“You’re absolutely disgusting Rexian Grayson!” I nearly screamed and jumped to my feet. “You ought to be washing your mouth out with soap to clean out the dirty things that form in there!”

Rather than seeming remotely offended, Rex laughed. The worst part of the whole ‘fighting with Rex’ thing, was that everything I said that was serious, he took as a joke. Meanwhile I was the only one who was becoming angrier and angrier. Rather than trying to solve the situation with lashing words, I was considering just being quiet all together. At least that way, there wouldn’t be any crude or sarcastic marks on Rex’s part that could lead him to being stabbed later on. Not that… not that I’m a violent person by nature or anything like that.

“Settle down there, MP! Shouldn’t you be paying more attention to Fairy Boy down there?” His hand fluttered in Curtis’ direction. “I love how you’re always willing to tend to me, but when there’s someone who actually needs your help, you back down. I’m flattered, really.”

“Shut up!” I snapped rudely and began to lift Curtis up to his feet. It was definitely not easy trying to lift a 6’1” male with one hand. Instead, I decided to drag him across the rug to the best of my abilities. I succeeded after ten minutes of heavy pulling and placed a blanket across his body.

As I was about to reach for the pillow, Rex picked it up. His face was tinted with that curiosity that I almost began to dislike and he held it behind him. I was really beginning to realize that this ‘friendship’ I had with Rex was like a fish being best friends with a shark. It was going to kill me.

“So,” he began in his cocky tone of voice. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. “Why exactly do you feel the need to look out for everyone but yourself?”

I trudged around the couch and tried to grab the pillow away from him. I felt the textured plaid fabric rub across my fingertips then slip away just as quickly. Of all ways to spend my snow day, it’d have to be with a kid named after a dinosaur and some guy who can’t even remember my name.

“I do take care of myself,” I retorted defensively. “It’s just that sometimes you have to learn not to be selfish and help others that need you. That’s probably something your childish mind hasn’t learned to process yet, right?”

Those eyebrows rose slightly in surprise.

“Only childish minds are fooled to believe that you need to put others before yourself. Haven’t you watched ‘Oprah’? You have to learn to put your needs first to ensure a healthy overall being. Not that kindergarten bullshit they like to feed you with a ‘Barney’ spoon.”

“Of course you’d remember ‘Barney’ spoons, yesterday was your last day of kindergarten, wasn’t it? There are times in your life when other people have to come first, regardless of what you’re feeling. In this case, Curtis is out cold and here I am, fighting with you because you won’t be kind enough to give him a pillow!” The words and tone in my voice were something new. I wasn’t used to standing up for anyone, let alone myself. Rather than actually trying to defend myself against the jeers I sometimes faced, I would continue onward without a word. It’s been awhile since I actually used comebacks against anyone and I had to admit… it felt good.

“Even though Mr. Kramer is completely out cold and unaware of my insults, you’re still defending him. Why? What has he ever done for you? He can’t even remember your name,” I felt my cheeks blush in slight embarrassment.
“Because Curtis did something brave today and is willing to show that social differences are possible in our school,” I murmured and tapped my cast awkwardly. “The fact that someone is even willing to take the chance and go after someone who’s considered a ‘loser’ or ‘geek’, while they’re popular is something that you don’t see everyday. If I can help Curtis in any way, it…”

I didn’t want to finish my sentence but judging by the look on Rex’s face, I’d have to in order to make a point.

“It?” he pressed, slightly arching his neck. I chewed on my lip for a brief second before wrapping my arm over my waist self-consciously.

“It would almost make it seem like I stood a chance with a guy like him someday,” the blush in my cheeks rose. It was true though. Once Courtney and Curtis got together, it could mean that other guys who were popular would realize that girls like Courtney and I weren’t just geeks, we were people with personalities and not just brains. If this whole situation meant that I could someday have a chance with Benjamin Stone, then Curtis could forget my name all he wanted. I wouldn’t care.

“You mean a guy like Stone,” Rex said blatantly. I didn’t respond, the only answer I could give was the look on my face. Rex frowned slightly and handed me the pillow, but didn’t let go once I got my own grip on it.

The look on his face nearly stopped me cold, only because it showed that he was going to give me the truth in about 10 nanoseconds. This was where I was probably going to get very angry with him, I could already feel my blood warming.

“Curtis and Benjamin Stone are two completely different guys, MP. While Curtis actually has some modesty left in his blood, Ben isn’t even sure what the word means anymore. Ben is like a vampire or something, he just likes to suck what he can get out of you and leave you for dead. There’s no consideration of feelings or consequence, there’s just heartbreak in the end,” he paused for a moment and lowered his eyes to the pillow. “Stone doesn’t look for girls who want something real. They all pretend they do, but what they really want is a leg up on the scale. The girls he wants aren’t like you Annaleigh, they don’t have brains or morality. They’re just pawns and just like pawns, they’re limited in what they do and how they do it. Don’t let yourself become that just to win over a guy.”

I couldn’t say anything for a second. It was like being splashed with cold water when you’re having the best dream of your life. His words cut deep and for a second, I almost could see what he meant about Benjamin. Almost. Rex was forgetting the good sides of Benjamin, the sides that Rex never got to see.

“Y-you don’t even know him,” I stammered and shook my head. It was as if I was trying to clear his words from my mind. “You can’t judge someone without even knowing them!”

Rex gave a slow half-smile, letting out a small snort along with it. He let go of the pillow and I staggered back slightly, not realizing how hard I had been tugging on the item. He jammed his hands into his pockets and bit his lip for a second. When he turned around and began to walk away, I made my way toward Curtis. But rather than continuing onward, Rex stopped for a moment to look over his shoulder.

“It isn’t a judgment, MP.” he said quietly and I craned my head up to catch a glimpse of him.

“It sounds like one,” I replied and placed the pillow beneath Curtis’ head. It was difficult. I had to shove the pillow beneath his head then lift it. I wish I didn’t run that day.

“I only know that it isn’t because…” his sentence trailed off and then he stopped. I waited for him to finish his sentence but he didn’t. Instead, he gave a quick wave and left.

Why do boys have to be so stupid?

The sound of footsteps entering the room, made me glance up. I almost wanted it to be Rex, so I could apologize for being so rude. Rex could be a complete jerk, but he was just being a friend and looking out for me. The way that I looked out for him most of the time. I just wanted him to understand that Benjamin meant a lot more to me than anything, that I really did love him even though I knew there were sides of him that weren’t exactly proper. Now it felt like I had to prove to Rex that Benjamin Stone wasn’t just an empty shell, there was something deeper.

Rather than it being Rex, it was Courtney. Her cheeks were dotted with red blotches and her hair was standing up from the static that came from her toque. She dropped her winter gear to the floor and shivered.

“Fuck sakes! If I ever meet Mother Nature, I’m punching her in the teeth!” Courtney exclaimed and then peeled off her snow pants. Sure enough, the jacket on the floor was the same parka that she travelled in years ago when we had weather like this. She dropped the pants next to the other garments and rubbed her arms.

“Yeah, it’s definitely not pleasant,” I answered, my thoughts still rambling on about Rex’s speech. Courtney took a few steps forward and stopped, her eyes running curiously over Curtis. Her mouth slanted downward in distaste and she immediately folded her arms over her chest. Rather than making her usual snide comments, she sat down beside me while trying to avoid touching Curtis at all.

“Did Rex punch him out or something?” she asked. “I just walked past him and he seemed kinda… off. Like he wasn’t quite himself.”

I paused for a moment, hoping that Curtis would somehow wake up soon. Right now, I didn’t really want to associate with anyone but rather wanted to read my book with my hot chocolate like I was before.

“No… it was more like he and I got into a bit of a spat. It’s nothing big or anything but I was angry at him for what he did to Curtis,” I then internally groaned. This wasn’t going to be easy to explain without revealing Curtis’ secret to Courtney. Luckily for me, Courtney wasn’t the type to pick up on certain things like this easily. Give her numbers that are to the power of negative 18 and she’ll be able to find the pattern but when it came to social issues, she was as bad as me.

“Oh? What did he do to Curtis?” she nudged Curtis with her elbow a couple of times, her eyes slightly lowered.

All hopes that I had of Courtney actually dating Curtis seemed slightly shot now. Just the way Courtney was looking at him told me that there’d be no way in hell that she’d ever kiss Curtis, let alone go out with him. My heart sunk a bit, there was no way that the school was going to glance at any sort of change now. I was acting a like Karl Marx a little too much.

“He just said some rude things to him and stuff… then Curtis was erm, about to go after Rex but uh… he tripped over my leg and fell. He sort of hit his head and now he’s like this,” I didn’t like lying to Courtney. Of course, like any other person, I told the little white lie about being too busy with homework to hang out while instead watching Dr. Drew’s Sex Rehab or that I was sick with the flu so I couldn’t go to the movies so I could write poems about love; but there was always something that bothered me about hiding something big from my best friend. Especially something that was as big as this was.

“Serves him right for acting like such an idiot,” Courtney scolded while glaring at the unconscious Curtis. “Leave it to him to go hurt himself for doing something stupid.”

I couldn’t help but grin.

“Yeah,” I replied softly and made my way into the kitchen. The plate of cookies was down to just a mere five, all were the smallest of the bunch. Courtney picked one off of the plate and began to munch, her braces now mixed with chocolate and biscuit. I sat down at the table and debated on whether or not I wanted one. Knowing Rex, he probably shoved them down his pants or something ridiculous like that.

“So, I called your client last night about the whole ’Tequila Sunrise’ thing,” her voice was so casual that I wanted to slap her. I couldn’t help it, it was just so ridiculous that she could be perfectly fine in this situation while I was about to be executed. “I did my best to sound like you. Luckily for me, I sound a lot like you on the phone.”

“Minus the mouth breathing.”

Courtney shot me a dirty look.

“Minus the mouth breathing,” she repeated in an irritated tone. “So far, there hasn’t been any mention of invites so I’ll have to be creative on my ways of getting in there. Maybe if I’m really lucky, Rex’ll come with and will have a good idea on how we can both get in. I’m pretty sure we can try the whole ’waiter’ thing, but I really want to be original.”

She rubbed her chin thoughtfully as she chewed on another cookie. She and Rex in many ways would probably be perfect. They both were inconsiderate of my poor feelings, they both hated Curtis and they both liked to devour my mother’s baking.

“As long as you don’t draw too much attention toward yourselves, I’ll be fine,” or at least, I hoped I would be fine. Chances are that I’ll either pass out or else blurt out my secret. Dear God, I’m so dead. If it isn’t going to be the ‘Hamlet’ performance that does it, it’ll be my alternate ego.

“That’s good to hear. You’ll be a great escort, Anna. Trust me and once this is all over, you’re going to be unstoppable.” she patted my shoulder firmly.

“I’m still unaware how this is even going to help me with my guy problems,” I mumbled beneath my breath. If Courtney heard me, she sure did well at pretending she didn’t.

We both sat in silence, chewing on the cookies until finally there were none left on the plate. Despite my best efforts, I kept thinking about what Rex had said. He believed that the girls Benjamin went after were ‘pawns’, but didn’t he realize that most pawns were just images of something they could be? In chess, if pawns made it to the other side of the board, they became whatever the player wanted them to be. I could start out as a pawn, worthless and really not a great piece, but in the end I could be a queen.

“Well hello, Mr. Sunshine,” Courtney yelled sarcastically as Curtis entered the kitchen. He rubbed his head and squinted around the kitchen for a few moments before his eyes met Courtney. The look on his face was beyond priceless, one of surprise and fear.

I think that if Curtis could have, he would have fainted again.