I Love You, Benjamin Stone

Annaleigh

When Saturday rounded about, I couldn’t be any more happy. There was no facing the humiliation that presented itself on Friday, dealing with friend drama, stupid boys and slipping grades. Today was just a day for me. I could laze around on the couch in the basement, reading or else go outside into the warming weather and build a snowman. Today seemed like it could be potentially rewarding.

But I couldn’t get Rex off of my mind.

I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t still a little bit angry at him. After all, he kept just assuming things without giving any explanation as to why he felt that way. Every time it seemed like I might get an answer, he’d freeze up and the words would stay locked in his mouth. More than anything, I just wanted him to be honest with me. People don’t go about giving long lectures about things they don’t know about unless they really do happen to know something about the situation.

I tried being nice to him yesterday, despite all the horrific events, as a way to coax a bit of an answer out of him. Still, there was nothing. I might as well try asking a brick wall why it’s made out of bricks, an answer seems more likely to emerge from that than one from Rex. The one thing I’m quickly learning this year: Never trust a boy who shares his name with a dinosaur.

Shea was staring at me from across the kitchen table, his small mouth chewing his morning Cheerios vigorously. The tablespoon in his right hand looked too large for him and yet once he swallowed, the whole end of the spoon disappeared into that little mouth again. I picked a piece of brown toast and peanut butter apart, not sure if I actually wanted to eat it yet. Shea continued to stare and I continued to ignore the gaze.
Finally, he said something.

“Who was that big idiot here the other day, Anna?” I jerked my head up to look upon Shea intently. He swirled the large spoon in his Cheerios but continued to keep his gaze locked on me. The corner of my mouth twitched absently.

“You’re referring to the blond one, right?” I replied curiously and Shea nodded. His eyes were like large ocean orbs, bright blue and endless. I couldn’t help but let a small smile form on his face. “That was Rex, he’s…”

Well, now I would have to say he’s a friend. Yet at the same time, I wasn’t even sure if Rex and I could even be called friends. It seemed like I was the only one who acted like one sometimes.

“Your boyfriend?” I choked on the piece of toast that had began to make it’s way down my throat. I reached for my glass of juice and began chugging it down, trying to relieve the burning sensation in my throat. Shea smiled in a silly way and patted my arm in a sympathetic way. “It’s okay, Anna, he’s a weirdo.”

“N-no, Shea, he isn’t my boyfriend!” I exclaimed and placed my toast back onto its plate. I could feel my cheeks reddening at the thought of Rex acting like… like… my boyfriend. It was something that was almost to disturbing to think of, the last thing I wanted was to feel Rex’s hand sliding across mine…

Or any of the other stuff that couples do.

No, there was no way in hell or beyond that I would ever date Rexian Grayson. My heart belonged fully to Benjamin Stone. There was no one else who made my heart beat fast or my breathing stop. He was the only one for me, even if he was out of my league.

“Liar, liar, pants on fire,” Shea sing-sung and trotted around me in a semi-circle. If it hadn’t been for my chair blocking the way, he would have done so successfully. I managed to loop my hand around the collar of his shirt, stopping him in his tracks. His little neck craned back to look at me, his already wide eyes growing.

“Rex is not my boyfriend, you hear? He’s just a friend, nothing else,” I hissed at my little brother, trying to keep my voice relatively calm. Shea’s lip curled outward and his mouth twisted downward into a frown.

I let go of his shirt as my mother entered the room. She stopped mid-step, eyed the two of us curiously and then made her way toward the counter. Mom peeled the lid off of the bread dough container and poked at the large, squishy mass of dough before making a sound of satisfaction. She then raised her eyebrows at me questionably.

“So,” she began and I knew exactly what it was going to lead to. “This Rexian friend of yours…”

Her voice trailed off and her know-it-all smile crept onto her aging face. What was with everyone and beaking me about Rex today? It seemed like everywhere I looked, there was mention of him. It was like some sort of freaky omen, maybe I was going to end up being kidnapped by him. Knowing Rex, he’d be the type to do the sort.

“Is just that. A friend, nothing more,” I quipped and rose out of my chair. My mother eyed me curiously. The bread dough was being worked roughly below her hands.

“You know that you don’t have to be afraid to tell us anything, Anna,” she said softly and shaped the dough into a loaf. She placed it into the silver pan and then turned to me. She leaned back on the counter, her hands the color of flour white.

My mother and I had never been overly close. Up until this year, she had been pretty hard on me. She seen potential that I didn’t and like most parents, she wanted me to succeed in everything I did. She tried placing me in gymnastics, figure skating, kickball, Brownies, anything that could get me socializing with other kids. The only thing was that I was reluctant to ever do any of it, only because there was one thing I learned that I couldn’t tolerate: failure.

Mom had always said that she wanted me to do my best in everything I did, but yet there was always that undertone of saying that I had to do better than that. So I did. I pushed myself academically, to points where I was so stressed that strands of hair began to go silver. Those were the days where I emotionally destroyed myself. But it didn’t matter to me. It was like if I didn’t do well, I deserved to destroy who I was as some sort of sacrifice to do better.

Now, with my mother and her floured hands, I could see that I was being stupid. More than anything, she wanted this chance to bond with me. The other things that I had done were her ways of claiming that her daughter was someone she loved and was proud of. She wanted to know the woman I was becoming and Rex had become some sort of opening for her.

“It’s not that I’m afraid, it’s just that there’s nothing to tell. He’s someone that needed a friend, I was there for him,” I tugged on a strand of my messy hair. My mother gave me a small smile and then nodded, almost like she was disappointed.

“You know, he seems like he’s an alright boy,” the words she said sounded like they were carefully chosen. There was nothing accidental about the way she spoke them. A grin tugged at the corner of my mouth.

“He’s different, that’s for sure. He just takes some getting used to,” I replied quietly. My mother placed the bread into the oven and shrugged nonchalantly.

“Your father wasn’t the easiest man to like either,” a small smile slipped onto her face and at that moment, you could tell she was recalling memories of old days.

“That’s what you get for loving a lawyer, I suppose.”

My mother shot me a knowing look and then wiped her hands on the dishtowel hanging to her right.

“I forgot to mention, some boy called yesterday. His name was Curtis or something, said that he needed to talk to you about his ‘secret’,” I resisted the urge to scowl deeply. If my mother had noticed my unsettled attitude, she sure didn’t point it out for me.

“Great,” I replied with a false cheeriness in my voice, “I’ll be sure… sure to call him back sometime today.”

The little smile that my mother gave me was one that made my cheeks turn red.

Curtis

Parker and I were sitting in an old bar in Saskatoon. The thing was so ancient, that it still relied on an actual jukebox to play the music that poured within the walls of the tattered building. The counters were worn, going from a fake granite to a white plastic color. The leathered stools had the stuffing coming out of them and the shelves in the back were an old oak color, scratched beyond belief from all the glasses being slid on and off. I didn’t mind the harsh look of the old building, only because they managed to keep the beer colder than any other bar.

Parker was eyeing the place with a look of distaste, his lips curled slightly upward in grimace. At one point, he stood up and eyed his stool carefully, only to push a spring back beneath the foam of the stool. Parker was getting so used to the extravagance that clubs and ‘rich’ bars provided, that he wasn’t used to what some of the real things looked like: shit.

“Why’d we come to this place anyway?” he muttered, taking a deep sip of his beer. I shrugged absently, trying to decide if it really was the temperature of the beer or the fact that the place had an old charm to it.

Some of the TV shows put it into perspective. There’s always a restaurant or other service of some sort that has everybody as family. Everybody knows each other, problems are solved and discussed, and there’s never any tension because every person is best friends with another. In a way, this bar kind of reminded me of that scene. Although I didn’t know many people sitting in it with us right now, there wasn’t any judgment being tossed around. There weren’t drunken girls hanging off of our shoulders, whispering dirty things in our ears for another drink and there certainly wasn’t fights left and right. It was peaceful, like a church with alcohol in it.

“I don’t know, man,” I muttered and polished off the last of my drink. Lately, my thoughts were getting a little too thick for my liking. Frankly, it was fucking up my mind to a point that I just wanted to drink and forget.

I was sure that what’s-her-face wouldn’t tell Courtney about my little crush on her, the girl didn’t seem to have anything against me except for the fact that I couldn’t remember her name. I don’t get what was so difficult about it, but yet all I could remember was that it started with an ‘A’.

But blondie was another story.

I didn’t like Rex. I didn’t like his attitude, the cocky swing in his step that he had when he walked, or the arrogant grin he had plastered on his face no matter where he went. The boy was more trouble than Benjamin, which was saying something fierce. For the longest time, Ben had no competition with anyone, Parker and I weren’t even close to him. Now, there’s this little blond shit, who comes flying out of nowhere and manages to get caught in the worst case scenarios.

I didn’t trust him one bit.

The look on his face when he talked about Courtney in front of me was enough to tell me that.

So, being the paranoid guy that I am, I decided to call what’s-her-name but of course she wasn’t there to answer. I wanted to tell her that what I had said was a joke, I didn’t mean it ‘cause I drank to much that day and was delusional. It’s a good thing I didn’t ‘cause I don’t think that she would have believed me.

“What’s up with you today? It’s like talking to a fucking block of wood or something,” Parker said, his face slightly contorted with annoyance. The nice thing about Parker was that he was one of the only guys (on the face of the planet, most likely) that could know when something’s bothering you. It was harder to tell with him, yet he could tell with everyone else.

But if you want to get picked on for the rest of your life, you never tell Parker Vox the truth about anything.

I let my shoulders lift in a shrug and drop back quickly before digging into my pocket for two twenties. Parker muttered a thanks and then followed after me as we left the old bar.

“Seriously Curt, you’re acting kind of weird,” Parker shoved his hands into his washed-out jeans and gazed at me seriously. I stopped and let my eyes wander up to the stars.

“I think I actually fell for a girl,” I said aloud, my voice just barely above a whisper. Parker let out a small laugh and patted my shoulder.

“The great Curtis, who said that he’d never want to be with any girl for more than a day, has actually fallen in love. Wow, today really is a fucked up day,” Parker’s grin glittered brightly in the dark. “Who’s the girl? Is it Shyann? You’ve been after her hardcore since that last bar trip we took with Benny.”

“Nah, she’s not my type,” I replied honestly and slipped my coat over my shoulders. Parker still remained in his Abercrombie and Fitch shirt, the sleeves cut up halfway on his long arms.

“Really? Well, I’m sure I’ll find out eventually,” he said and bounced a bit on his feet from the cold. “Hey…”

His head lifted slightly as he squinted into the dark, his eyebrows lowering deeply on his face. I watched him then turned my gaze in the direction that he was looking. Sure enough, there was the arrogant bob of a white blond head and the crazy frizziness of wild hair. This had to be some sort of joke.

“Well, well, look who it is,” I managed to choke out even though my heart was pounding deeply in my chest.

Courtney and Rex stopped in front of us, standing a good foot or two away from each other. Rex had a bored look plastered on his self-centered face and Courtney was glaring at me already.

“Are you referring to us or the fact that you just found your incredibly tiny penis after a good 15 years?” Courtney responded smoothly, the cold causing the color from her face to drain completely. Rex and Parker laughed. God, this girl was fucking sent from heaven for me.

“Nah, just referring to you, pirate hooker,” I replied back with a small grin. Courtney’s lips twitched quickly but she recovered and smoothed back her wild mop of hair. Rex eyed me curiously then got a mischievous little smile on his face.

“Pirate hooker? Wow, Curtis, I didn’t know that you’re brain was disintegrating to a point where you can’t actually reply with relevant comebacks. Have your head banging against the headboard too many times or what?” she pretty much just called me a whore with a scowl on her face. Was she jealous? Did she even care that I did a lot of it to try and get her to notice?

“Oh yes, I can’t help it that those girls always happen to find my ‘incredibly tiny penis’ irresistible,” I replied sarcastically and Parker slid on his jacket with a low chuckle.

“Exactly why they never sleep with you twice. Sorry to break it to you, but in your case, size does matter,” Courtney bit back and folded her arms over her chest. Her cheeks were slightly flushed now and I couldn’t help but feel my heart beat quicken.

“Look Courtney, I’d love for you to insult the shit out of jock boy here but we’re supposed to be meeting with Mary Poppins at the café right now. Something’s telling me that she isn’t a fan of when people are late,” his hand slipped to her lower back and pushed her lightly forward. I had to clench my jaw down hard not to say anything. The look that he gave me told me that he knew exactly what was going on and the smile that he shot in my direction was one that made me clench my fists.

Parker waved in a friendly fashion as they moved past the two of us. He then placed his hands in the pocket of his coat and began to laugh at me.

“Oh fuck, Curtis,” he managed to say past the gasps of laughter that overtook him. I frowned in frustration.

“What? What did I do?” I questioned and felt a rock land heavily in the pit of my stomach.

Parker took a second to gain back his composure before laughing again.

“Really, Parker, what?”

“Courtney Reitman? You’re in love with Courtney Reitman?”

Fuck sakes.