I Love You, Benjamin Stone

Annaleigh

“Mom, I’m letting you know now that this Friday I’m going to be busy,” my tongue slipped out of my mouth and licked my lips quickly out of nervousness. Maybe she’d say no and then I could just forget about this whole ordeal? Or maybe I’d go but she’d find out and then I’d be in deep trouble? Or maybe-

“That’s fine, Annaleigh. You’re practically an adult, it’s a good thing that you’re actually going out and acting like a teenager,” my mother replied without looking up from her magazine. She flipped the page and I could see something about both Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise on it.

My heart flipped in my chest and I nodded as a reply, knowing well that my mother couldn’t see the action anyway. Mom took my silent response as the end of the conversation and didn’t say anything else. It’s kind of pathetic when your mother is more concerned with celebrity’s lives than her own daughter’s.

I slipped out of the room and outside, feeling the fresh air crisp against my cheeks. The coat I grabbed from the closet turned out to be my father’s, which sadly to me, had fit me better than I thought it would. The sleeves were about an inch too long and there was plenty of extra fabric around the midsection yet it had the comfortable feeling of not being too tight.

Normally, I wasn’t much of an outdoors person, but there was something about today that made me want to walk. Maybe it was the crunch of snow beneath my boots or the sound of the wind rustling the empty branches of the trees. Whatever it was, it was something that made me feel calm.

I let my feet wander, my thoughts running aimlessly through my head like an out-of-control freight train. I couldn’t help but think about Benjamin, this whole situation with Tequila Sunrise, Courtney, and even Rex. Rex…

I’m such a jerk.

My arms slid around my body unconsciously, erupting in small goose bumps beneath the thin sleeves of the jacket. I felt my mouth tug downward in a frown as the frame of my glasses froze against the bridge of my nose.

Rex’s house came into my view.

My feet instantly stopped as I took in the scene. Snow had clouded the roof tiles, turning it into a glittering white. The windows were dark, almost with an empty feeling. The whole house was surrounded by a dark shadow that didn’t quite made sense to me, it was like there was no joy there. The boy who’s smile could light up the world lived in a place that was as dark as the night sky. I couldn’t ignore the pang of guilt that ripped through my soul.

Summoning up my rather low amount of courage, I forced myself to walk toward the house. The crunching of snow beneath my feet increased as I moved quicker. There was no way that I wouldn’t apologize for my actions the night before, if anything, I would apologize a hundred million times over.

I owed Rex that much.

I was so not used to having friends other than Courtney (who literally almost never gets mad at me, call her a weird specimen), that when it came down to other people that I could actually offend, I didn’t know how to cope. I may be academically smart, but if there was something that God hadn’t blessed me in, it was social smarts.

The door looked frightening as my knuckles rapped against it loudly.

“Just a minute!”

That voice, Rex’s? His father’s?

I pursed my lips tightly as I watched the knob turn. The door opened a crack and Rex’s eyes peered through it, wincing slightly as the light met them. A white hand reached up to form a ‘c’ shape across his forehead, shadowing his sculpted face.

“Seriously, what the fuck is with this week? I’m not a fan of stalkers, really,” he snapped as he whipped the door open. The calmed face from before was just a memory now, anger had sunk into his features and my feelings from before had darkened more.

I bit my tongue from snapping back a reply.

“Look,” I began, my voice slightly shaking, “about last night, Rex…”

“I’d rather not talk about last night, thanks,” he interrupted. “It’s something that’d I’d rather forget.”

Those words just didn’t want to register in my brain. I had to get this apology out.

“I’m sorry about how I treated you and what I said. It was completely inappropriate and immature of me to act in such a manner, you didn’t deserve it.”

“Annaleigh, to be honest, I don’t really want an apology. What I’d really like instead is for your creepy ass friend to leave me alone,” his tone was sharp. Wait… What?

“What?”

Rex’s eyes rolled dramatically and he side-stepped to let me into the house. I wasn’t feeling cold anymore, even if my skin was starting to numb. Next thing you know, people will think I’ve resorted to something like Botox and I’ll end up worse than Joan Rivers. I could see it now… freezing your face off using the natural cold of winter. All-natural and extremely effective until you entered a warm climate…

“Courtney, she got into my house yesterday and pretty much tried to rape me,” Rex replied bluntly, his white blond hair flickering into his eyes. He brushed his bangs away and scowled, his face tinting red with embarrassment.

“Courtney!? Like as in, the Courtney I’m best friends with!?” Courtney was crazy, sure. One thing I was sure she’d never do though is break into some guy’s house to try and take advantage of him. Actually… come to think of it, that would probably be something that she’d try to do. She was pretty out there in that way.

“Who else would I be talking about, your mother?” the sarcasm was enough to make me turn red myself. It was just hard to picture Courtney breaking into someone’s house. She was the loudest person I’ve ever met verbally but physically, she was the biggest klutz as well. There wasn’t an object in sight that wouldn’t fall and break while Courtney was around.

“S-sorry, it’s just a little bit hard for me to imagine in some ways,” I responded, my voice stammering slightly. Rex’s face softened a little bit and he folded his arms over his chest in an intimidating way.

“Well then you don’t know your friend as well as you think you do,” I shrugged absently, noting that this was probably the truth. “She wanted to know what went on between me and you last night. It appears that we put on quite a show.”

“She asked me the same thing,” Rex’s eyebrows rose slightly but his mouth was still planted in a firm line. I didn’t like how stand-offish he was being but what could I do? I had offended him for the fiftieth time. Sometimes, I wonder how girls can say that it’s easier to be friends with boys. In many ways, it seems like it’s its own world, a world that I can’t even begin to figure out. Yet, people like Britney Spears get married.

“And?”

“And what, Rex?”

The eye roll made another appearance. I could feel myself getting slightly irritated.

“What did you say to her?” he snipped, his eyes lowering slightly. I crossed my arms over my chest defensively and frowned.

“Nothing, I didn’t get a chance to say anything. She exploded at me, saying something about some guy named ‘Chuck Norris’ and went back to find you. I was left behind trying to figure out what was going on.”

Rex’s mouth twitched slightly and his hands slid into the pockets of his loose jeans. His red sweater clung nicely to his chest and torso, adding some bulk to his thin frame. I dragged my eyes to his, only to find that he was focused on staring at the picture in the corner.

“Well, it’s not like there was anything to tell in the first place, right? Just a conversation that ended up on the wrong foot, s’all. It’s not like it was her business or anything like that. I know that I didn’t say anything to her about it,” that blush crept back onto his cheeks and lead me to question what exactly did go on last night. “I don’t really think that’s what she was focused on anyway.”

I ignored the nagging questions that formed in my mind and decided to try and follow the path of our last talk.

“Look, Rex, I’m sorry about how rude I was last night-”

“Forget it, I shouldn’t have been prying again anyway. It’s not my job to watch out for you and it’s certainly not my place to talk about ‘someone I barely know’ in the first place. You acted out and stood up for what you care for, I got that. Let’s just leave it behind and move on, there are other things to worry about,” under his breath I managed to hear him mutter ‘much scarier things’, which caused my mouth to curve upward into a small smile.

“I shouldn’t have snapped back at you like that, you’re just trying to look out for me. Like… like a friend should for a friend,” I paused a moment to glance at my feet. The snow had melted off of my boots and into a large puddle on the hardwood floor. “I didn’t listen and now it’s my fault that I’m bothering you here today. I appreciate your help and would love to hear your sight on things. You could really help with this whole escort business because both you and Courtney are right: I literally know nothing about the opposite sex. I’m as clueless as Susan Boyle when it comes to these sorts and I shouldn’t have been on the defence. Not only that, but I want to understand why you view Benjamin Stone the way you do. I’m sure that you have some ideas that can help me… along those lines. I‘m sorry.”

Rex’s eyes developed that mischievous glint in them, like they do when he’s thinking in a conniving fashion. His lips lifted into a smile and he began to laugh, loudly too. It seemed to echo throughout his house, lightening up that brooding feel that weighed down on me when I first entered. It was true that Rex had some sort of light to him, it’s just a shame that I was always last to know these things.

“Well, in order for me to truly accept your apology, you’re going to have to do two things for me.”

“Rexian Grayson, if either of those things are as disturbing as I think they may be-”

He raised a hand and shushed me, that silly grin still hanging on his face. I instantly shut up, my mouth pursing into a single, thin line.

“First off, you’re going to talk to Courtney about me. Not just casual friend-to-friend talk but an actual serious ‘you-better-fucking-stop-or-he’s-gonna-file-a-restraining-order’ talk that friends sometimes need to have with each other. I’m not interested, never have been and never will be. She’s got to get that through her head and I think it’ll be a learning experience for the both of you.”

The authority in his voice actually made me feel like saying ‘yes sir’.

“I guess I can do that.” I replied, my arms folding over my chest lightly. Rex shook his head roughly, shaking the white blond strands loosely like a halo.

“No, you’re not saying ‘I guess I can’, you have to say ‘I will’. Cause this shit is freaking me out a little bit too much, I don’t need a replay of Toronto!”

“Fine, I will,” I grumbled even though I tried to picture myself giving Courtney a lecture. The first thing she’d do is eat a Twix bar, cry then yell then insist that she wasn’t stalking him. Then she’d come up with some sort of crazy plan to get Rex to like her. If it involved any sort of suggestive clothing, I was going to stab myself in the brain without any questions. “What’s the second thing?”

Rex let out a small chuckle, I resisted the urge to feel like I was going to hate it.

“The second thing is that you’re going to have to stop referring to men as ‘the opposite sex’. You sound like my grandmother or something. In order to be comfortable around guys, you have to call them just that: ‘Guys, boys, men, jerks…’. You know what I mean.”

“Jerks? Really?”

Rex laughed.

“There you go.”

Parker

I can’t believe that I actually guessed right.

Curtis was a total wreck at one point, swearing to himself and running his hands through his hair. The redness that mercilessly racked his cheeks pretty much proved that my suspicions were right the entire time. Yet, I couldn’t believe it. Curtis didn’t go for frizzy haired, brace-faced, nerds like Courtney Reitman. In our world, girls like Courtney Reitman were just people we existed with.

You can call me shallow or a dick, but the truth is that guys notice the way a girl looks. It’s a true fact that almost always, it goes beyond that and toward personality and shit. Yeah, there have been times where I’ve dated a girl because of who she was but when it comes down to guys like me and Benjamin… well, we just shouldn’t be allowed to date. Not now at least, just until we get a better idea of what it’s like to have a relationship that doesn’t revolve around sex and parties.

Curtis had always been a little more mature than us when it came down to relationships. Curtis hardly ever dated, he only settled for girls that really caught his attention. Now that I think of it, the last time he had a real girlfriend was in grade 9 but that ended when she decided to chase after some basketball douche in grade 10. That pretty much ended Curtis’ commitment skills, which I’m sure that most people didn’t even know that he had.

“C-Curt!” I managed to choke out through my laughter, my left palm was slapped over my face. My ribs were to the point of cracking but I couldn’t stop. I just kept imagining Courtney Reitman’s stalker-ish looks.

“Shut up, you geriatric fuck!” Curtis hissed at me, his hands reaching out to shove me over. Even though I toppled to the ground, a face full of slush and new bruises on my knees, I couldn’t stop laughing. Trying to picture Curt holding hands with this chick or even kissing her was too much for me to bear. I didn’t even want to think of him getting in her pants, that’d just send me into a laughing hernia, worse than this one though.

“I-I …” deep inhale of air, chuckle, full on laughter, “I just… can’t help it!”

“You’re such an asshole, Parker!” he shouted at me and delivered a good punch to my stomach. Laughter immediately turned into wheezing. My lungs felt like they’d been punctured. I stopped and let out a low chuckle, brushing my curly brown hair out of my eyes.

“What? If I said that I liked someone like Annaleigh Barker, you’d laugh too,” I replied, little laughs kept toppling from my lips. Curtis’ eyebrow rose and his mouth pressed down into a firm line. The redness in his face was slipping, leaving a light rosy glow that normally existed on his cheeks.

“Who’s that…?”

“Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ, Curt!” I snapped at him and pulled myself to my feet. Curtis is such a fucking retard sometimes, to a point where I can’t help but want to deliver a punch to his face. He started to laugh at me, his hands slipping into the pockets of his black jeans. “That’s Court’s best friend, the girl we severely pissed off on Hamlet day.”

“Oh, oh! Right, now I know who she is!” He snapped the fingers on his left hand in recognition. “Well, I wouldn’t find it funny. It’s up to you on who you stick your dick in.”

“You’re a fuckhead,” I bit back, my eyes narrowing slightly. “You make it seem like I’m such a bad guy for having fun sometimes.”

Curtis was normally the guy who was the designated driver when we all hung out. He wasn’t a heavy drinker, nothing like what Benny was, and he preferred to goof off soberly. Curt believed that if you could only get girls drunk, that there was no point in ever going after any girl. If you can’t do it sober, then it’s impossible for you to ever have a real relationship. This was pretty true. I failed at any relationship I’ve ever had. It wasn’t like I didn’t try, it’s just that I wasn’t exactly sure what to do.

How am I supposed to know that I’m supposed to buy a girl flowers when her grandmother dies? Especially when she doesn’t even tell me that the old lady is dead!?

The female mind was like a frikken’ computer. You could only find facts if you looked for them, they’re complex, virus (or best friends’ opinions!) influence the performance (their judgement..) and lastly, when they’re broken, it takes forever to figure out what’s wrong with them.

“That’s because sometimes you are. Then you go and make fun of your best friend for caring about something real; something that isn’t filled with fake plastic boobs and conceitedness,” Curtis retorted. His tone dropped to something serious. Oh great, a serious conversation; possibly my worst enemy on earth.

“Whoa, whoa, mister Rogers,” my hands lifted in defence. “That’s not true, man. Those girls are only for one night stands, I wouldn’t think of ever being in a relationship with one.”

“It doesn’t matter, Parker. You’re shallow and you know what? Benjamin is even worse than you are. You guys just don’t get that girls aren’t just play toys all the time. Courtney isn’t exactly the most gorgeous thing ever but she’s a real person. She doesn’t give a shit that I’m friends with you guys, she doesn’t try to fuck me, she doesn’t try to use me for money or any of that other junk like the other girls do. She’s something that I finally want. I’m tired of all this school yard bullshit, I want to finally do something that matters in my life,” judging by Curtis’ voice, he was getting upset with me.

This was probably the first time in my life that Curtis had actually called me for what I was: shallow. I could feel my head spinning slightly, this was just a lot for me to deal with right now. A serious Curtis was like having a serious concussion; they’re just not very good things.

“Jesus, Curtis, when the hell did you turn into a Brady?” I scratched the back of my head uncomfortably. Serious talks weren’t my thing. They always somehow made me feel like I was too old; I just wanted to live my life as a teenager, like a teenager.

“I’m not a Brady, Parker. It’s just that finally there’s something in my life that makes me want to act like a proper person,” Curtis’s eyes dropped to the concrete and he crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m tired of all the games we play with girls, they used to be something fierce and now they just seem so childish.”

I paused for a second. Truth was, they really were childish. Treating girls like dirt was so ninth grade. Now that we were about to graduate, it all seemed kind of silly that we were still running around like fourteen-year-old boys.

“I guess you’re right,” I finally replied and let my gaze roam across the street. There were two girls across the street, heading back from the club near the café we were near. A small smile fled onto my lips.

I glanced at Curtis, my eyes questioning. He had seen them as well and let his gaze settle across the street. He stopped, shook his head and then patted my shoulder.

“I’m done with this,” he muttered and began to walk away. He turned back for a second to glance at me. “If you were smart, you’d do the same thing.”

Then he left.

In every story I have read in English 30-1, they’ve always had some sort of internal conflict. At first, life just seemed like one big conflict, regardless of what you did. Now, I was beginning to feel what it was like to have a real conflict. Curtis’ words were still burning through my skull like a wildfire. He was right, without a doubt.

I turned the opposite way and walked home.