I Love You, Benjamin Stone

Courtney appears just as Rex leaves, her bright red Volkswagen beetle puttering along the road towards the avenue that my house is on. I can see her peering over her steering wheel, her head following Rex’s running frame. It isn't until she almost hits the pole at the corner of the road that she diverts her attention from Rex's tall frame to the road.

She pulls her car up beside me and wipes her forehead with the back of her hand as a gesture of relief. The bobbing blond head disappears and so does the red scarf I loaned him. Somehow I have a feeling that I might not ever see that scarf again.

“Who-” Courtney begins but is interrupted by the blaring noise of Kings of Leon on her car stereo. She glares at the thing and turns the volume knob down just so the song is small mumbles. “Who on Earth was that guy?”

I get into her car and shut the door then pull the seat belt over my chest. Courtney’s face is set in a determined stare, the one that always intimidates me to the point always I spill whatever is on my mind. Or in this case, whatever she just asked me.

“Just a friend that I made recently.” I respond quietly and toss my bag into the back seat of the car. I can feel Courtney’s gaze on me, waiting for a little bit of elaboration on the subject of this ‘new friend’.

“A friend who happens to be just as hot as Benjamin Stone?” Courtney questions, her voice hitting a higher octave. She clamps her hands onto my shoulders and squeezes, making me feel oh-so grateful that she hasn't start driving yet.

“Wha-No! Rex is just… Rex is just Rex. I mean, he’s not even close to Ben.” I answer somewhat defensively. It's true that Rex isn't scary looking but he definitely doesn’t have the same brooding looks that Benjamin does. Ben is in a whole other league than the blond boy, a whole other universe even.

“You’re insane to be thinking about that loser when you clearly have the next hottest thing at our school as a new friend. Dear God Annaleigh, if you don’t want him then at least introduce me so I have a slight chance of him knowing my existence!”

“Fine then, I’ll introduce you to him sometime this week. Sound good?”

“Perfect, absolutely perfect. I swear, he’s better than Luke Worrall and Alex Pettyfer rolled into one.” Courtney runs a hand through her chestnut hair and sighs heavily. She then jams the old car into gear and hits the gas pedal.

“I wouldn’t go that far, his personality is alright though. He’s… interesting.”

“Extrapolate on that.”

“He mentioned… Well… uhh…” I tug lightly on my braid and then feel my face flush. “Well he found out about my crush and then said that he would, err, never like me because… Because I don’t ‘put out’.”

Courtney then bursts into a series of giggles.

Did I mention that my one friend, besides Rex who I’m not entirely sure is a friend yet, is a total jerk?

“It’s not funny Court, I didn’t even know what it meant.” I mumble and cross my arms over my chest with a frown. “I didn’t realize how crazily oblivious I was to the world until now. I mean… Rex is right. Ben would never look twice at a girl like me seriously.”

“Maybe we’ll just have to take more drastic measures.”

I tilt my head and stare at her.

“Why do I have a feeling that I won’t like what you’re about to tell me to do?”

“Well, it’s a bit different but I’m sure that you’ll be alright with it.” She says slowly and pulls into the mall parking lot. For one thing, I have homework which usually means I'm not allowed out and secondly, the mall is like a suicide jump for me. I hate it so much that I haven’t made a willing trip in five years. By willing, I mean last-resort-drag-me-there-for-emergency sort of things.

“I’m not going in there.” I state firmly. Courtney sighs loudly and releases my seat belt, yanking it off despite my protests. We struggle in the car and even shout a few words but stop when we hear a loud whoop. Our heads both shoot up to glance out the windshield to see a group of pre-teen boys staring at us with big grins.

“Take your top off!” One shouts and they all yell in agreement.

“Get lost you little pervs!” Courtney shouts and shoves her hand against the horn. The boys run away, laughing and high-fiving. Even at the age of twelve, the male species is disturbing.

I still refuse to leave the car. It takes incredible strength but Courtney manages to yank me out of the car and onto the road. I'm lying on cold pavement with a scowl on my face, ruining my jacket and my latest pair of jeans.

“You suck.” I mumble in annoyance as Court helps me to my feet. I touch the back of my jeans, which are, sure enough, wet and cold. I groan in annoyance and follow Courtney into the mall.

“Pull your jacket down more, it’s long enough that people won’t notice you peed your pants.” Courtney whispers and I immediately pulled down my coat.

“I didn’t though!!” I hiss back and tug a little bit harder. She's right, the coat reaches down past the middle of my thighs.

“Do you think people care to ask? No, they just assume meaning you peed your pants.” Her voice is so matter-of-fact that I don’t even bother to argue.

We walk and walk until finally we reach the large community bulletin board. Today’s paper is pinned to it firmly and Courtney reaches up and snatches it off, tucking it under her arm and then drags me to the nearest bench.

“This is with my idea. Annaleigh Barker, you are the most male oblivious woman I know and there’s no other way to make you "un-oblivious" but to expose you to the male world.” She begins flipping through the pages of the paper, her eyes are small slits in concentration.

“H-how are we going to do that?” I ask, nervousness now building in my stomach. It could actually be the cold too considering my jeans were soaked.

“Well, we expose you to them more. What better way to do that than-” She pushes the paper into my face and points to a specific section. “Expose you to the male gender a bit more?”

I read the title and shove the paper back to her.

“No way.” I nearly shout then realize how loud my voice is. I repeat it again, quieter. “No way.”

“C’mon. It’s just a test, nothing big. If you get Rex on a date with me then I can somehow find a way to get in.”

“Not in a million years. Not if a meteor is threatening to destroy this planet!”

Courtney folds up the paper and begins reading through the different names.

“Some of these girls sound like total sluts…” She mumbles to herself. I cross my arms over my chest to try and look strict.

“Courtney, there is no way you are making me become an escort.”

*
I was so grateful to come home and find out that my mother and father went out on their weekly ‘date night’. They had missed it last week and I was positive that they’d catch me with the armful of shopping bags that contained sexily clad outfits and barely-there lingerie.

I’m going to kill Courtney.

She offered to pay for every outfit and even create the whole ordeal as a tag team sort of thing. We’d both be a pair, going to each and every date together, not separating once. Not even if one of us isn’t liked.

She's making up the ad tonight to place into the paper. I honestly thought my heart was going to stop when she showed me the first ad, but when I seen ours in there, I pretty much decided that I'm going to hire an assassin to kill me. There is no way I can put up with this sort of thing.

I would rather be a cat lady than an escort, considering I pretty much am one minus the cats. I'm actually allergic.

I shove the clothes as far back in my closet as possible, making sure to hide them with every other object in there. Stuffed animals, blankets, other clothes, books, even pieces of paper; by the time am done the whole ordeal, I can barely close my closet door. I have to make a mental note to do my own laundry all week, just so my mother doesn’t bother to enter my closet.

Shea is definitely another matter.

The babysitter had taken Shea out for his monthly Chucky Cheese trip. Shea may be mature for his age, but he still loves to kick it around with that rat and some pizza; unlike his older sister. God, I don’t even know what ‘Putting out’ is.

Maybe I need this escort service.

I turn on the T.V. to the music channel, hoping there is some sort of music program playing. Considering now I'm going to be attending dates, I might as well learn some dance moves that make me seem less awkward than I already am.

Sure enough, Juiced is on and there just so happens to be a Britney Spears video going. I begin trying to mimic her moves, slowly at first and then eventually moving quicker to try and keep up.

It's actually sort of… fun.

At one point, I begin singing along and occasionally pushing up my glasses to keep them from slipping off of my face. I mimic every single move, no matter how stupid or provocative.

“One, two, three!” I bellow then trip, face planting and shaking the floor.

I laugh lightly to myself and get back up. I begin to dance again until I realize that the curtains of the windows are open and there is a group of guys standing there, watching me dance and sing.

Needless to say, they are killing themselves laughing.

I stand there, mouth hanging open in shock until I finally gain enough nerve to stroll over to the windows to shut the curtains. Leave it to me to embarrass myself to death.

I turn off the T.V. and brush my bangs out of my face, sighing heavily and wishing that Britney would have never come on.

The door of the house then begins to unlock and the knob turns. I get to my feet and enter the porch, opening the door to meet my parents. My mom is holding a bag of groceries and dad a case of coke. They enter the house, cheeks rosy.

“Hey sweetie.” My mother greets me and kisses my cheek. She places the groceries on the table and begins to undo her jacket. I reply with my own hello and begin to unpack the goods.
“Shea and Alyssa back from Chucky Cheese yet?” My father asks and tears open the case of pop.

“No, I just got home about ten minutes ago.” I answer, my fingers prying in the plastic bag. My mother frowns and walks up to me, running a finger along my cheek.

“Why are you all sweaty and flushed?” Mom inquires and I shrug.

“Just uh, you know. Dancing.” I reply quickly and push my hair from my face with a smile. My mother glances at my father and then places her hands on my shoulders.

“Annaleigh,” She whispers in a serious tone. “You weren’t you know… Doing anything inappropriate were you?”

“What!? N-no, of course not!” I exclaim and then my mother sighs.

“It’s not that masturbation is a bad thing sweetie, it’s just that we’re not supportive of you conducting such actions at your age.”

Life just gets better and better.

“I-I wasn’t! I was dancing, honestly! That’s just… That’s just disgusting!” I screech, my tone repulsed. My mother smiles and then kisses my forehead and begins helping to unpack groceries.

I can’t even stick around, I'm incredibly embarrassed. Instead, I run up to my room and flop onto my bed. I roll over onto my back and stare at the ceiling, thinking of everything that's happened recently:
Ben, Courtney, escort services, Hamlet and of course, Rex alongside Mary Poppins.

There has to be an easier way to get Benjamin’s attention, he doesn’t date slutty girls. He doesn't date; which probably means he's more for the ‘open relationships’. Meaning, girls who put out without ties. Dear God, I am completely naïve.

No, there has to be some other way.

Funny how life never seems to be fair.