Falling nightmares

“You know I can’t have her!” cried a women lying in a massive bed decorated with rich red and orange bed sheets. Her face was pale; lips were blue, red nose and eyes puffed up from crying.

“Why don’t you come with me? We can still survive this, you, me and the baby, a happy family. Isn’t that what you have always wanted?” A man, no doubt her lover was sitting beside his loved one, one knee on the bed and the other leg dangling on the floor. He was sad like his loved one but he was showing hope and bravery on his face.

The man leaned in closer, he cupped her face with one hand and kissed her passionately as if saying good bye forever. She gradually positioned her hand over his and gently but affectively slid it down her neck, down her shoulders and stopped at her waist. She pulled back their kiss and took a deep breath.

“I can’t live without you.” He leaned in meaning to kiss her again.

She interrupted his kiss “You must, for Ciara.”

My head was throbbing like it never had before, it hurt too much, and I wanted it to stop so badly. It felt like a million wings were fluttering at once making me so dizzy, like I was stuck in a tornado making me go round and round and round and it would never stop. I would have been crying if only I could, why couldn’t I? The pain disappeared; I had never experienced such relief. I calmed down and tried to pay attention to the atmosphere.

Nothing, that’s all it was, nothing. I couldn’t see anything, couldn’t hear anything, couldn’t even feel myself and didn’t even need to breath. It was like I wasn’t actually in the room but just looking at it from a distance. How did I get here? What happened?

I tried to jog my memory to what happened earlier that day but nothing. It was just like someone put a big block in my head. I attempted to get up but couldn’t, it wasn’t like I couldn’t lift myself but there wasn’t anything to lift.

Help I tried to scream but my mouth wouldn’t open, not because it was stuck together but there wasn’t anything to open.

I was lost in nothing. Was I dead? Is this what it felt like when you die? Will it get any better? Or was I just crazy? Maybe this was just a bad nightmare and when I wake up in the morning I’d be safe in my bed getting worried for no reason. I decided to stick to the last one and for god knows how long, I just lay there and counted sheep trying to get to sleep since there was nothing better to do in this dead silenced nothing. Once I got up to 1300 I gave up. I counted backwards from 1000 twice, still nothing made me even close to sleepy, and it felt like it never would.

What happened today? I couldn’t get the question out of my head no matter how much I tried. It’s true I wanted to know what happened but something inside me told me no, that I didn’t want to know but the urge to know was to dominant so I racked my brain thinking about everything from my first memory to my last. My last memory; I was answering the door for someone, but for who?

I heard it then, footsteps. I heard it. The first thing I heard in what felt like eternity. It was really soft but I could still hear it clearly in the middle of death silence. Hello I tried to scream but once again I couldn’t speak. It was approaching me. I could hear it becoming clearer and clearer, proof that I’m not alone. Then suddenly it was silent again. Hello, is anyone there? Please don’t leave me. Help! All the hope and happiness that filled me for those few short minutes went within a second.

Then abruptly an insignificant light shined through the empty room. It grew bigger and bigger but the bigger it got the further it seemed away from light, it was almost like a gas spreading around the room. My eyes still wide with shock I fell into a deep sleep. A sleep I thought I’d never be able to achieve again.