Falling nightmares

I demanded to confront him. I could maybe introduce myself to him. I knew I’d probably just mumble everything I’d say but I would still try, that was the least I could do.

I didn’t know how it was possible but he looked more handsome than he did the first day. I never believed a man could walk elegant and graceful, but I was proven wrong. Justin moved like a cat or a supermodel on the runway except 10,000 times better. It didn’t even look weird or wrong.

He sat at the back of the classroom, near the window that faced the ocean. That had always been my favorite seat, but he could delightedly take it. It even gave me an excuse to sit next to him.

I cleared my throat before speaking “Nice view huh?” I couldn’t believe I said that. I was supposed to say hi not speak about the frickin’ view. On the bright side my voice sounded more confident then I really was.

“Yeah it is.” he answered without a single glance at my direction.

“I’m Ciara.” my palms were sweaty and shaky but I didn’t let it show.

He looked at me as if he were analyzing me. His eyes were wondering up and down my body which made me a little uncomfortable.

“I know.” His eyes were off my body and back to the window.

“You know what?”

He let out a little chuckle under his breath then answered “Your name.”

“Oh.” I said not sure what else to say.

Blood rose to my cheeks making me blush. I turned the opposite direction and hoped my hair was covering my red cheeks. He knew my name. He knew my name. I kept repeating those words through my mind. He knows my name.

I didn’t talk to him again that day until I had history and Justin was in my class.

“Hi.” I waved a hand at him while he was walking through the door to our classroom once again late. He walked past me a big frown on his face and ignored me like I was invisible.

I had never felt so rejected in my life. Surely he couldn’t have seen me or even if he did, it didn’t matter, I was no one to him. I had only spoken to him once and that was only a few words. I was just some ordinary, crazy, girl who’s really into him.

I tried to hold my tears in class. When I couldn’t hold them any longer I’d just ask the teacher, Mrs. Howard, that I needed to go to the bathroom and get it done with over there. I shouldn’t have been feeling like crying. He just ignored a ‘hi’, it was not as if he went cheating on me. Even if he had a girlfriend (he probably does), that wouldn’t mean he was cheating on me because I’m no one to him for him to cheat on.

As soon as we were dismissed from class I ran to the nearest bathrooms, locked myself in a cubical and cried. Once I stopped crying and I was one hundred and ten percent sure that no one else was there. I came out and washed the smudged mascara with toilet paper and water.

After crying my eyes out, I went to the tree where I normally had my lunch with Ian and since yesterday Adrienne.

“Ciara where have you been?” Ian said as I approached him.

“Um nowhere,” I said after a sniff.

“Have you been crying?” Ian knew me too well. Or maybe it was the red eyes and nose.

“Where is Adrienne?” I asked instead of answering him.

Ian hesitated before answering “She umm, she umm, had something, to do.”

Ian knew me well but I knew Ian better. I knew he was lying. Anyone could have told, Ian was the worst liar, but I decided to let it go.