Chance

There were times when she'd wish to have a reset button in which she'd be able to live her life over again and start anew. Then again, who hasn't? She's regretted her lifestyle choice most of about her life but never had she thought about changing it because then it'd just be a beckoning call for forces to swoop in and hurt her. During her early years of school, Raynne had refused to speak and her teacher, whom was wondering if she was a mute, had even approached her about the conflict.

Then, she'd cry. The pain she'd endured alone from being silent seemed to be worse than when she started to finally answer questions. Whenever Raynne took a moment to question why it hurt, she couldn't resolve it with a solution; it just did.

Coming along with her silence was a wave of loneliness. Sure, she'd opened up to people after years of sorrow, however, no one truly understood why she was so quiet nor did they try to understand. She'd come to know nothing and started her high school years without her first kiss. She'd never even gone out on a date, up until the current date. There had been a few incidents where she'd get the subtle kiss on the cheek from a boy she'd begun to like in her fourth year of school but that hardly counted.

She wanted someone to hold, or be held by. It was hard to know that it'd never happen because she refused to open up to people and Raynne only figured that if that day ever should come—that person would be rather disappointed. There didn't seem to be anything special about her - that feature that people always say is in everybody.

Morning arrived quickly and without fail. Raynne groaned into a blanket, curling up into a ball as it continued to tangle around her figure. She halted and assessed the situation, boxes had filled the room and she was covered in a blanket. Raynne pushed herself up and squinted as she glanced around the room. Her father had continued his actions and filled her room with her possessions.

Turning even further around, she noticed that her bed had been set up by the nearest window. She bit her lip and glanced at the wall nearest to her since she suspected it to now be her father's room. The move here was meant to be a punishment and yet it seemed as though he wanted her forgiveness. It was unclear as to how he had been able to set the bed up alone without waking her but he seceded in doing so without fail.

Raynne gripped the blankets he'd thrown over her and stood. Her back arched as she stretched, her muscles were sore from the nights sleep on the floor. She shuffled over to her bed and set the blanket on there, throwing it over the width of the surface. The day would, undoubtedly, be spent checking out the city. As much as Raynne wanted to lock herself within her room and never leave its emptiness, the idea had a slim chance of sitting well with her mother.

In all honesty, she didn’t quite want to be a hermit for the rest of her life. Certainly, it made life easier; however, it also proved to have certain difficulties. From the lack of friends to virtually no social life, Raynne wanted a change to occur.

Past revelations have always been the same for her. She’d vow to change herself for the better but she’d always turn around and fail to comply. If history were to repeat itself yet again, as she expected it to, well, the entire journey just didn’t quite seem to be worth it. She’s learned that the code she lived by was nothing more than a dangerous habit and it just couldn’t be broken.

Her parents knew naught of her wishes, but if they were to find out, they’d undoubtedly fail to approve. They seemed to enjoy having their one and only child be submissive. It was good for the family image, and in the end, she just wasn’t much of a hassle any more.

Some aspects of the life she dreamed for, though, weren’t of much appeal. She had her parents to thank for that, really. She was frightened that she’d find someone to love—however, the feeling might not remain mutual forever. Indeed, the idea was scary, and she was always left in a near permanent state of confusion.

Her father has always loved her mother—that much she knew. Except, now, her mother seemed to hold a feeling of momentary dread and regret. At first glance, the Gyrsts seemed to be a loving family. Even when you’d take a second glance, your opinion would most likely remain the same. Perhaps they could be considered a loving family, but why is it that her parents bickered constantly? Why was it that her mother’s feelings must have changed somewhere along the way. Raynne’s silent disposition was meant to help the family—she meant to be less of a burden; however, if she had ever taken a moment to listen to her parent’s disputes, she’d realize that concern was of the issue. Though, due to recent events, both of her parents’ views of her have changed drastically, she could tell and finally they were on a mutual status.

Fury lashed out from within Raynne, her limbs flailing as she launched herself onto her bed. The bed springs protested out from under her as she proceeded to hit her bed. On any other normal basis—meaning before the incident—one of her parents would have been in her room within seconds; however, this time they chose to leave her alone and she was thankful. Whether it is the fact that it was just shameful to be seen in such a state or the fact that she just didn’t want to fact her parents, she was just thankful. Never had she thought that she’d be able to look back on the incident and find some good quality that derived from its residence; however, the time alone did seem to be well worth it.

Time alone was the one thing she believed was needed at this time, at least, until she was able to find some sort of spiritual balance with the situation. Since she knew time alone in this empty room would prove to be of a difficult matter. Quickly, she glanced at the labels of every box within the room and cocked her head to the side when she noticed the box with her clothing by the closet. She peeled herself off of the bed and ventured over to one of the many boxes. Raynne bit her lip, glancing at her door again, almost wishing for her father to appear so that she could thank him, but sighed and opened the box.

She shifted her weight between her feet as she dug into the box, furtively deciding to sort them out later on when she returned. Her movements halted and her eyes drifted towards the window, assessing the weather condition, and she glanced back at the sweatshirt she'd normally wear back at her home. In Wisconsin, things tended to be a bit more chilly, as apposed to what she expected from California. Her hands lingered on her sweatshirt but she tossed it aside, seeing as she'd most likely overheat and exert herself to the point where she just didn't need the stress that was involved. Thus, she continued to dig into the box full of clothing and within minutes, she was able to scrounge up a minimalistic white long-sleeved shirt and a pair of skinny jeans. To some, skinny jeans felt uncomfortable, to her, they felt just right; it felt strange when her pants were baggy, the constriction they bring is a feeling that allows her to be somewhat happy.

Thinking about her preference in jeans made Raynne laugh slightly, her head being thrown back in the process. She shook her head with a grin that hadn't presented itself in days, but her dorky-ness was something that she couldn't exactly overlook. With a grin, she swapped outfits, tossing the dirtied clothes in a small pile at the base of her clothing box.

Raynne ran a hand through her hair and grimaced at the feel and just continued to use her fingers to comb through her hair, since she could faintly hear her father in the bathroom. Her brown hair was, in a way, duller, since she heard the news of the mood. Her contradicting blue eyes also seemed to have this dim shade to it—as if her body was reacting to the moods she was experiencing. Her movements were delayed, however, she didn't think it would last long. Sure, she was mad about the move, but, she can't say that she doesn't like to sight see, every now and then.

Day one in Huntington Beach; begin.