Bad Romance

“Well fellas…just as soon as Joe finishes this last track, we’re done.” I said, feeling defeated on all sides of my life. The record was over with, so I had nothing to distract me from the fact that Josie wouldn’t be around me. I haven’t talked to her much, in fear of my hormones and heart taking over again like it did that one night.

“Sweet! I’m so excited to get this over with…” Joe said, smiling wide. He only had a few lines to bust out before I could send this off to the record company. It wasn’t really the finished aspect we were looking for, because the company could send it back to us to tweak something, but we knew they wouldn’t.

We sat for a few more hours, Kevin and I, waiting on Joe to finish up. The man helping us record and track was paying attention to him, so I decided to talk to Kevin.

“So…how are things?” I wasn’t exactly in the mood for conversation with the man that was ruining my life…strike that, the man who’s dating the love of my life.

“Good, how about you?” He nodded at me as we listened to Joe belt out some random lyrics.

“Good…” That was the extent of that conversation because I can tell he doesn’t want to talk. I turned around in my chair and waited patiently for Joe to finish everything the man said to do. Is it bad that I feel like crying? My brother won’t hardly speak to me for reasons unknown and the love of my life was taken away by said brother. No, do not let me say taken away, it was her choice, even if he is manipulative and cries too much for a man to cry.

When everything was done, Kevin and Joe wanted to go tell Josie, so I followed shortly behind them. I heard Joe scream to Josie as he crossed the threshold of her home and Kevin was right beside him, grinning like an idiot. I watched all of them celebrate till she turned to me with a bright smile that warmed my soul.

“Congrats!” She squealed and kissed the tip of my nose. I’m not washing it for weeks.

I listen to them explain all we’re doing tonight at the club and I just wanted to fade into the background, not be noticed. Joe made me do our secret handshake together, to which I smiled at the old memories of making it up. I watched Kevin sneak his arm around her and pull her into a private corner to talk. I pretended to listen to Joe’s banter, but was uninterested and just wanted to go lay in bed.

I walked out of the house and sighed, walking past the pools. “Nick, are you okay?” Joe asked me from behind. I turned to him right on my heels, concern on his face.

“I just couldn’t stay and watch the love birds.” I spat and started my walk back into the house. I do not want to go tonight to the club with them.

~~~~

I can see them…I don’t know if they know, but I can see them from my window in my room, alone with my guitar, sulking over Josie. I can see her hugging, kissing…fucking that male human I’m supposed to call my good brother. He’s always been there for me till now, when he’s the reason I don’t want him near me.

Ok, so I haven’t seen them fucking, yet, but I know it’s going to happen soon, if Josie allows. I keep thinking back to what she told me that one morning and I giggle. She told me she couldn’t keep the ‘time of the month’ lie going much longer.

“What are you finally smiling about?” Joe walked into my room as I sat in the seat of the large bay window looking over the pool house. “You’re spying on Josie and Kevin, aren’t you?

“Maybe.” I sighed and put my guitar down as Stefani came in behind him shortly after.

“That’s unhealthy.” Stefani commented.

“And creepy.” Joe retorted.

“Thanks, friends.” I scoffed at the word and got off the window seal. “What are you two doing?”

“We want you to break Kevin and Josie up…please God, do it now before I kill Kevin.” Joe’s lips tightened at his name, and I all of a sudden had a soft spot form on my heart for my eldest brother, he was almost pitiful in a way.

“How do you propose I do that?” I gave them, what I knew, was a strange look, not because I wanted to though, but because they were asking me to do the idea I was thinking of.

“I don’t know! We didn’t get that far in the plan! We got to coming and asking you before we got into a fight about it then had make up sex.” Stefani always was the subtle one, note the sarcasm.

“Well…why do you want me to do this, again?”

“Because he’s driving us NUTS! It’s almost like he’s rubbing it in our faces that he got a girl over you and shit.”

“So…wait…huh?” I asked, completely confused, I finally formed a question that left me stumbling, “He’s boasting about getting a girl I can’t have?”

“Basically.” Joe shook his head from side to side like he was contemplating something. I was now pissed…and I’m not talking like ‘I’m so mad I could spit.’ “Are you okay?” Joe asked me, and I knew my face was turning red as it possibly could.

“No, I’m pissed…please, that’s all I needed to know, leave me be.” I asked of them.

“I’ve never seen his face that red!” Stefani was going out the door, whispering to Joe, thinking I wouldn’t hear that. I just sat back in my seat and looked down to the snow white house below. My eyes were burning, threatening to let tears stream out, but I won’t let them. I just picked up my guitar and played until I couldn’t feel the pain anymore in my mind, it was transferred to pain in my arms, fingers, and stomach.

I looked to the clock that read three in the morning and noticed no lights were on in Josie’s house. I walked out of my room in search of sustenance and found myself eating cold pizza at three in the morning, small blood blisters forming on my fingers from playing guitar.

~~~~

It was early for me to be waking up the day after spending a solid four hours on a guitar till three in the morning, but I was on a mission.

I picked my phone up and dialed up Kevin’s number into a new text message. I sent one asking him to lunch for the day and he quickly agreed to my surprise. I got ready quickly, not caring about what I looked like today and ran down to the foyer to meet up with Kevin. He was driving and I knew he was a stickler about being on time, as was I. Soon after I arrived, he came bounding down the stairs and he wasn’t smiling like an idiot like I expected him to be.

“Hey kid, you ready?” He asked, putting a ball cap on. I nodded and we walked in silence to his car. I stared at the back of his head while walking and wanted to knock him into the ground and make all his teeth fall out, but I’m a better person than that.

We drove in silence and I wanted to claw his eyes out for making me feel awkward with my own brother. The restaurant was, thankfully, deserted and it was just us. We started with waters and clearing throats. I looked around and finally found a good topic to start on.

“So where’s Josie today?” I smiled at him, breaking the unnatural silence between us.

“She went to hang out with her sister.” He smiled back, which was a good response, but the silence set back in after that question. We actually ate in silence and then got back into his car when I had a brilliant idea, I am going to bust his teeth in.

“Can we go to the beach? Talk a little bit?” After I made this statement, I saw his arrogance poke through and I had to stop myself from hitting him.

“Yeah, sure, I guess.” He sounded like a teenage girl desperate for attention. We took the short drive to a small private beach owned by some good friends and took our shoes off to walk in the hot sand. We got onto the beach and I started.

“Look…if you think getting Josie is proving something, you’re an idiot. I love her with all my heart and want her so badly, I can’t stand it, but I can’t because I’m letting her be with you by her choice. I swear to God if you hurt her one more time though, I’m not letting her go back to you. I’ve had enough of this.” I threw my shoes down in the sand and looked him straight in the eye, his expression was unwavering. “Look, I know that was a lot to take in, but seriously, Kevin…be a man about this.”

“Look.” He finally said something and I was surprised. “I’m not trying to show you up by having her, at first, I thought it was okay, but then we had sex yesterday and it just ruined everything. After we had sex, which was awful, she whispered your name in her sleep like…seven times. I cried last night, okay? I cried because I can’t have the most perfect girl in the world and she wants you more than me. Does that make you happy?” He shouted right back. He threw his shoes down and plopped into the sand, so I sat down beside him. I didn’t want to speak because I was afraid my happy tone would show through. “Besides, you’re better for her than me anyway.” This statement made me stop my gloating in my head and look at him.

“What?”

“You two are like…perfect for each other, what she doesn’t have, you have and vice versa. I don’t have the confidence and a strong enough head to be with her, she takes a strong will, and I don’t have that.” He shrugged and looked at me, eyes squinted from the bright, burning sun. “So have her…I’ll tell her tomorrow…” He put his head down and I felt really bad for him. I put my hand on his shoulder and rubbed a little. “Don’t feel sorry for me…I’m the fuck up in this situation.”

“Well…yeah.” I chuckled and he laughed too through small tears rolling out of his eyes. I gave him a brotherly hug and we left for the house.

“Can we act like this didn’t happen? Like…when I talk to her about it and she comes to you for help on it can we not mention that we spoke about it and agreed?"

"Yeah, sure." I was willing to do anything to see her running back to me.