You Rock Like Escape The Fate

“Psst! Guys! Guys, he’s bringin’ her down!” Max whispered from his watch station on the stairs. We all ran to our hiding positions and Hayley and I closed the blinds, making it dark in the room. Footsteps creaked down the stairwell, I could hear someone whispering and shushed them as I heard Craig’s foot hit the bottom landing.

“1…2…3…SURPRISE!!!” We all yelled after Ronnie counted up to the highest number they could all remember. Okay fine, just kidding. Leila squealed in delight from her place in Craig’s arms and hugged him around his neck. He set her down and she ran to us all one by one, giving us majorly tight hugs. She was fairly tall and I didn’t have to bend down too much for her to be able to hug me. I laughed and looked to Ronnie who began singing his version of the Happy Birthday song. [Don’t ask] Bambi brought in a few of the presents and I ran in to get the others. Max and Bryan started playing tag with Leila, zooming past me as I left the kitchen with the biggest presents. Daisy had, as usual, gotten the requests from everyone and went to buy everything in stock from the stores in Michigan.

“No running!” I yelled after Max as I set them down on the table. Hayley started playing a CD of the lighter EscapeTheFate songs and Leila’s favorite music that we’d put together. Bambi and Craig were talking animatedly and Max, who had finished chasing the birthday girl down the hall, was burying his face in Daisy’s neck, his arms wrapped securely around her waist. Ronnie was holding Leila up on his shoulder, Bryan next to him also carrying her, as Hayley followed them to make sure she didn’t fall. They were giving her princess treatment as she giggled hysterically. I smiled to myself at everyone having a good time. Even Robert had met Shannon and was making conversation with her.

“You just gonna stand there doing nothing or come join the party?” I heard a voice ask. I snapped out of my trance and looked to my side to see Craig and Bambi awaiting my answer.

“I’m right here, don’t worry about me,” I said, smiling as they rolled their eyes and stepped away. I sighed and grabbed the Pin-The-Tail-On-The-Donkey poster from the kitchen counter, then pinned it to the wall and took out a blindfold.

“Game time!” I yelled out. Everyone ran to stand in front of me, Leila first in line. “Okay, you know how to play this, right, sweetie?” I asked. She smiled wide and nodded. I put the blindfold around her eyes and tied it behind her thick blonde hair. I gave her the tail and stepped back to watch as everyone cheered her on. I felt a pair of eyes on me and looked to my side, but the only person there was Bryan and he wasn’t looking at me.At least he wasn’t when I looked at him I shook it off and watched Leila pin the tail RIGHT where she was supposed to.

“How did she do that?!” I asked incredulously. She giggled and pointed to Craig once her blindfold was off.

“Daddy told me!” she replied. I rolled my eyes and gave her another tail, then proceeded to smack Craig upside the head.

“I love you too, Mabbitt,” I laughed as he pouted and stuck his tongue out at me. We played games for the next hour and then it was cake and presents time. We turned off all the lights before Max helped Robert carry in the cake. Yes, I decided to make the boys in charge of the cake. Bryan had decorated it and lit the candles, while Ronnie actually baked it. Craig was in charge of so many other things that I let him off the hook with the cake. *evil laugh*

“Yay!!!” Leila squealed as Max and Robert placed the cake gently in front of her and told her to blow out the candles. I handed Craig the video camera and he taped her fourth birthday candle blow-out. We all cheered and clapped when she doused each little flame one by one.

“Woo! Go Leila!” I laughed as she took a huge bite of the piece she was given. Everyone took what they wanted and we started the presents.

Present after present, there were ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’, Leila loving every minute of it. I was the only one sitting alone; besides Bryan that is. But who cares? I wouldn’t ever get to be his anyway… Why do I love him in the first place? Because he’s cute? Funny? Caring? So many reasons… But why didn’t he love me? Blech, so many reasons there, too… Yelling was soon breaking my thoughts as I looked up to see Max and Ronnie standing up and glaring at each other, hate in their eyes and loud, angry voices.

“What is going on!?” I asked as they continued yelling at each other.

“I can’t believe you, you always do this Max!” Ronnie yelled.

“Since effing when, Radke!? You were always the one following me and you know it!”

“Oh dude, don’t even go there! I was your best friend for all those years, who was the one pathetic enough to give that up for fame and money! You followed the fans, you followed me, you followed your own selfish needs and you never gave a frik about anybody else!”

“That’s not true! I was always by your side, I did that for both of us, man! Get it through your head that the only bad guy here is YOU!” Max screamed back, fists clenching. Daisy stood behind him and gently tugged at his shirt, trying to calm him down. He nudged her away as his eyes burned into Ronnie’s. I looked down at the table and saw that they had both gotten her the same present, which made them mad, which brought up the past, which is now making them fight and ruin Leila’s party.

“Stop it!” I tried, but they didn’t listen. They continued to yell louder and louder at each other until their normally paper white faces were red. Within moments, fists were flying and they were tackling each other to the ground. Everyone was into it by that point, yelling and trying to get them to stop. Robert grabbed Ronnie and Craig grabbed Max, tearing them away from each other as Hayley and Daisy suddenly had to stand on opposite sides of the room. It quickly became deathly silent, the only sounds being everyone’s heavy breathing and the soft music that’d been going while Leila opened her presents. I stood there, staring at them both in anger and surprise. This was it. I had to make up for what I did to Nate; I had to fix this friendship or none of this was worth it.

“What on earth is wrong with you two!?” I yelled, standing right in the middle of the two newly formed sides of the room. They both sat on the floor, Robert still latched onto Ronnie and Craig on Max. “Do you realize what you’re doing!? You two were friends for so long, you meant everything to each other, you were nothing short of brothers! So explain to me why a few really stupid mistakes were strong enough to break that apart! Ronnie, Max, we all love you, more than you’d believe. Every single person you know gets hurt by this fight and we’re all so tired of it… Aren’t you!? You guys are still best friends, deep down, and you know that! You’ve done so much for each other, put so much on the line. You can’t let each other down like this.”

“Sometimes… sometimes you just have to suck it up and take the hits, realize what you’ve done is wrong, and move on. Otherwise… you’ll spend the rest of your life with a whole ton of regrets you don’t need,” I said, biting back the anger at myself that I was holding in. They just…stared at me, thoughts clouding their eyes. Daisy and Hayley smiled at me, knowing where all that had come from. I looked to my side and saw Bryan gazing at me with hisamazing chocolate brown eyes, understanding just the same. Suddenly, a thought came to my mind that made my stomach drop.

“…Where’s Leila?” I said quietly. They all looked up at me in shock as everyone came to the realization that she wasn’t in the room.

$$$-Leila’s POV-$$$

Why do my uncles always have to fight? I was having so much fun with Miss Bambi and Daddy and all my uncles and friends. But when Uncle Ronnie hit Uncle Max, I got so scared… I just ran out of the room. I saw a door and opened it. I was outside and the day was really pretty. I wish I could’ve looked at the sky, but I was so scared of the yelling and hitting that I just ran as fast as I could. I ran all the way into the trees and I kept going. I thought I saw somebody hiding behind the trees, but I ignored it and found a big tree that looked good to climb. I was super tired, so I stopped and took a deep breath. I climbed up the big old tree and hid in the branches, just trying to stop thinking of how scary they looked when they started fighting.

$$$-Liesl’s POV-$$$

“Maybe she hid under the bed again?” Craig said desperately as we searched every nook and cranny in the cabin.

“No, I already checked under all the beds,” Bryan replied from his place in the bathroom, where he was checking the tub.

“She’s not here, you guys…” Bambi whispered, her bottom lip quivering. I sighed and ran a shaky hand through my hair, going up to my good friend and hugging her.

“We’re gonna find her, hun, don’t you worry,” I told Bambi as I pulled away. She wiped away the tear that’d rolled down her face and nodded. I smiled weakly and looked to Bryan and Craig. “You guys, she might’ve gone outside, the front door was right there when she ran. I’m gonna go out there,” I told them.

“I’m coming with you,” Bryan said. I tried to swallow the feeling of relief that Bryan would be coming and nodded. Craig cleared his throat in nervousness and looked to me.

“Alright, anybody else?” I asked as Craig stood next to Bryan and me at the front door. Max stalked over, clearly angry at himself for being half the reason Leila was missing. I saw Ronnie looking hesitant to join the search party if it included Max. I gave him a hardly noticeable nod and he returned it, joining the group.

“Bambi, Hayley, Daisy, Shannon, and Robert, you guys are all gonna stay here and wait to see if she comes back?” I said, though it was more of a question. They all replied with a nod or a ‘yes’ except for Bambi, who grabbed Leila’s favorite new jacket [a present from Hayley] and followed us out the door. The six of us began to spread out, everyone staying in sight of each other while being far enough apart to cover most of the area.

“She couldn’t have gotten very far,” Max yelled over to me.

“Yeah, let’s stay around this area, eh?” I replied. We were all bending through the brush, looking behind trees and bushes and everywhere…on the ground. I hadn’t thought of what Bryan soon did.

“Hey wait a second- Why aren’t we checking in the trees? She loves to climb, you guys,” he told us all. Everybody said “okay” and started to look through all the trees for a sign of life. My heart was pounding in my chest, all my worries mounting as the search went on longer. I looked around to see us all working together- Max and Ronnie, me and Bryan. Bambi and Craig were presumably together and the entire last couple of months came down to right now. We had to find little Leila, it was so important to everything, she was just a little girl. She needed us, we had let her down. I looked to Bryan and could feel my heart break a little. He looked so afraid, like everything that was going on was killing him and I was sure that his mind was a jumble of guilt and fear; memories of losing the chance of a baby with Allison coming back to haunt him, fear of losing Leila now. I slowly went up to him as his eyes flicked nervously between the trees around us, my hand gently touching his arm. He turned to look at me and was breathing heavily, the fear in his eyes. I gave a small, hopeful smile and said, “Bryan, I promise you we are going to find her,”

His gaze fell to the forest floor and we heard Bambi’s voice calling for us. I looked up to see Craig doubled over and Bambi standing worriedly by his side. I went to them and put my hand on Craig’s shoulder. He was hyperventilating and holding his chest.

“Where’s the pain, Craig?” I asked. He pointed breathlessly to the center of his sternum and I nodded, understanding. “Bambi, take him back home, he’s having a panic attack. Just have him breathe into a brown paper bag, we’ll be home as soon as we find Lei,” I told her.

“Alright, thanks Leisl. Come on, babe, let’s go…” she said, urging him in the direction of the cabin. I turned and started walking through the trees again, thinking of Bryan as he walked at my same pace several yards away. If only he felt the same…

“M-Miss Liesl?” a small voice called to me from the top of a large tree to my left. My heart practically stopped in its place. I gasped and looked up to see Leila clinging fearfully to a branch at the top of the tree.

“Oh, sweetie, thank god I found you! Hey guys, over here!” I yelled to Max, Ronnie, and Bryan. The relieved looks that crossed their faces made me smile, watching them sprint to where I was standing.

“Leila, babygirl why’d you run away from us…?” Bryan asked. I wondered why he always called her babygirl, if it was just a pet name he’d thought of and gotten attached to or something.

“Uncle Bwy Bwy, I’m so scayuwed….” She whimpered.

“I’m gonna come up and get you, okay, baby?” I said to her as I bent down to tighten the laces on my converse. She mumbled an ‘okay…’ and I went up to the tree, looking for the shortest branch. Unfortunately, the branch closest to the ground was too high up and the branch Leila had probably used had broken off under her weight.

“Jess, that’s too high for you,” Max said with a worried expression painted across his normally relaxed features.

“Here, use this,” Bryan said, leaning against the side of the tree and lacing his fingers together to form a step. I looked between his tightly laced fingers and the shortest branch, deciding that I could definitely reach it that way. I walked up and placed my foot gently in his hands, allowing him to hoist me up to the branch. I caught on from there, hopping easily through the branches until I reached the four-year-old girl holding onto the tree with all her might.

“Hey there, baby, don’t be scared, I’m gonna get you down now, mkay?” I asked. She nodded cautiously and I reached out to her, taking a good hold of her torso and inhaling as deep as I could, before swiftly whisking her over to my own branch. Once we were both safely in one spot, I exhaled and hugged the little girl to my body. “Alright, now you have to hold onto me real tight so you don’t fall,” I instructed her, wrapping one arm tightly around her as I began our descent to the ground. We slowly made it through each branch as Bryan, Max, and Ronnie waited anxiously below. Her little arms stayed wrapped securely around my neck as we got closer to the bottom, and when I had finally hit the last branch, I let my eyes look downward to decide how I would orchestrate the last step.

“Uhh… Hey you guys, I need someone to take Leila from me,” I said as my sweaty hand began to slip from the branch it clung to.

“Ronnie, you’re the tallest, you take her,” I heard Bryan say.

“You ready?” I called, my voice shaky as I got tired of the weight I was holding. Ronnie replied with a nervous “yeah, go ahead,” and I looked to Lei. “Okay honey, I’m gonna hand you down to Uncle Ronnie now,” I said. She nodded quietly and I slowly began to let her down, holding carefully onto her little arm as Ronnie reached up for her. One, two, three… I thought as her weight had support from Ronnie’s grasp. I shut my eyes and let go, and let out a deep breath of relief when they cheered for Leila, telling me he’d caught the little girl.

“You got her?”

“Yep! Nice job, Lee!” Ronnie replied. I smiled and tried to fix my grip on the tree, but it didn’t work like I’d hoped. I struggled with it, swinging my legs back and forth to gain momentum. My arms were aching and I couldn’t gain my balance.

“You okay up there, Jess?” Max’s voice asked me. I cleared my throat and tried to sound calm.

“Yeah, I’m fine, just a little off bala-aaaaa!” I screamed as I fell from the tree and toppled towards the ground… well, towards Bryan’s arms, anyway. My eyes wide, I stared up at his surprised face as I surveyed my situation. I started to breathe again as I let myself relax into him, and a smile slowly spread across his lips. I gulped quietly and decided to take a chance, moving my arms up so they wrapped around his neck.

“Good catch, Bryan,” Max said with a smile, before turning his back to us and motioning for Ronnie to do the same. I quirked an eyebrow in their direction and hardly noticed Bryan slowly letting me down onto my feet. My arms still wrapped around his neck, I turned and smiled up at him. He looked a little nervous as his arms found their way around my waist. I bit my lip and looked down a bit, feeling my cheeks burn as I blushed.

“So…” he started. I cleared my throat and looked up, my eyes urging him to go on. “…does this,” he said, motioning with his head to our chest-to-chest position, “mean I have to start calling you Liesl?”

I gave a soft smile and let myself move a little closer. We both leaned in and our lips were just a couple centimeters apart. I couldn’t rip my eyes from his as I replied. “Not if I can still call you Bryan…” I trailed off, finally allowing my lips to meet his and curing the ache I’d been feeling for him. We both smiled into the kiss as he squeezed around my waist. The pure, happy feeling and pounding heart I got from this simple kiss confirmed my suspicions- I was definitely inlove with Bryan.

But as usual, things didn’t wrap up there.

“Uh oh…” I heard Leila say from behind us, followed by a low, dangerous growl most likely coming from a wolf. Bryan and I both froze, our lips no longer moving together. We pulled apart and he looked up behind me, as I slowly turned to see a wolf standing not ten feet from Max, Ronnie, and Leila. This wasn’t just any wolf either; I could tell by the scabbing gash on its bad foot that it was the same wolf Hayley had shot that one morning not too long ago. An angry wolf with revenge to pay was never a good thing.

“Jessi, take Leila and go! Now!” Bryan quickly ordered, Max hurriedly handing me Leila as I stood there without any intention of leaving them with the angry predator. I looked down at Leila’s frightened face and then back up at Bryan’s, realizing I wouldn’t be able to make Max take her back as long as Bryan was breathing in the oxygen he needed to live. I sighed and looked in the direction of the cabin, calculating how fast I’d need to run just in case it started chasing me. “Go!” he repeated urgently. I was scared for all three of them, I didn’t want to. But I had to.

“Be careful,” I said, looking at their hardened faces before taking off towards the house. I heard the sounds of a wolf attacking and nearly turned back, but seeing Leila in my arms, just wanting to be with her dad, I decided against it. I stormed into the house, breathing heavily and setting Leila onto her feet in front of the nervous group of adults.

“Leila!” Craig cried happily, jumping up and grabbing her into his arms. He squeezed her to his chest with a smile of relief on his face. Hayley’s and Daisy’s smiles quickly faded as they looked behind me and saw that I had only come with the little girl.

“Lee? Wh-where’s Max?” Daisy asked, her voice nervous. Hayley nodded.

“And Ronnie?”

I didn’t know how to answer, as I was already pacing the hardwood floors of the living room in anticipation.

“The wolf came b-back,” I told them, not looking up to meet their gaze. I wanted so badly to go and make sure they were okay, but Bryan would kill me. For lack of a better term.

“They’re with the WOLF!?” Daisy exclaimed. She started to hyperventilate as Hayley sat her down on the couch. Craig looked shocked. Two of his closest friends were out fighting an animal that could really hurt them; hurt Max, hurt Ronnie… or hurt Bryan. I took a deep breath and tried not to lose it over this. I was going to stay calm. Bambi came over and wrapped her arms around me in a hug.

“It’s going to be okay, I promise,” she said, turning to the other girls and nodding at them to say that that was meant for them, too. Craig, with Leila on his hip, came over and began to rub up and down my back in an attempt to comfort me.

“Uhhh… What’d we miss?” Robert asked as he came down, Shannon coming down with him looking worried. We all moved to sit on the couch; or should I say, they all sat down and I continued pacing. Bambi told Rob and Shan what was going on as Hayley and Daisy whispered between each other, looking over to me every once in awhile. The fearful looks on their faces weren’t the most comforting thing in the world, but I didn’t look away, trying to read their lips and decipher their conversation.

“Liesl, hun, you should probably stop biting your fingernails…” Bambi suggested. I hadn’t realized I was until she told me. It was an old nervous habit, but one I hadn’t actually relapsed into for a good long while.

“Wait, you guys… do you hear that?!” Daisy exclaimed. Hayley looked up through the window and gasped, turning back to us with a look of painful surprise on her face. We were all quiet as we looked at her, anticipating what she would tell us was outside. Anticipating her telling us that we really had heard voices approaching the cabin.

“They’re back… b-but Bryan’s hurt,” she stuttered, before swallowing hard and watching me as I ran for the door. I flung it open to see Max and Ronnie supporting Bryan on either side, his arms over their shoulders as he made it up the last step and looked up at me, smiling shyly. His leg was bleeding heavily and I could tell the wolf’s teeth had definitely sunk into his skin, and before anyone could say a word, I was taking him from Max and Ronnie and helping him through the door and to the couch. I looked to Craig and he nodded, remembering to get the first aid kit for me like he did the first time. Bryan winced as I slowly picked his leg up and sat it on my knee. He was sitting on the couch and I was on the coffee table, propping his leg onto my lap so I could clean it up. Max and Ronnie walked in and looked at the floor, not acknowledging the fact that they’d teamed up for any purpose whatsoever, even if it had been to save their best friend. Hayley wrapped her arms tightly around Ronnie’s torso and he leaned down to kiss her, and Daisy and Max were embracing each other in the tightest hug I’d ever seen.

I turned my attention back to Bryan as Craig handed me the first aid kit.

“Craig, could you get a washcloth and wet it with warm water?” I asked. He nodded again and went to get one, as I slowly and carefully peeled the torn skinny jean fabric from Bryan’s skin. I didn’t look up at him again as I worked, cleaning the wound and putting on the various antiseptics he’d need to prevent infection. I started wrapping it and pinning it before I knew it. I finished up and sat back, looking at the old rug beneath us. I felt him slowly remove his leg from its place on my lap, and then his fingers tilting my chin up.

“Everything’s okay now, alright?” he asked, an assuring smile gracing his lips. I sighed and nodded, and found myself wanting to be closer to him again. I slowly started to lean in for a kiss, almost addicted to the feeling, before hearing a knock at the door. Everybody stopped what they were doing and stared at the door, unsure of who would be behind it. Ronnie went up to the door and opened it, his eyes going wide as a large fist smashed him in the nose and sent him stumbling backwards.

“Oh my god!” Hayley yelled, running to his side and trying to help him. I stood from where I’d been sitting and ran to the door to close it, but the tall, bulky man in an overly tight black shirt had already blocked it with his massive shoulder. I stared up at him and motioned with my hands for everyone to get back. I could hear their footsteps along the hardwood floor, and Ronnie’s heavy breathing from the pain his now most likely broken nose was in.

“Well well well, if it isn’t the little girl that couldn’t find her way to the Y,” a sinister voice chuckled, a tall, lanky looking man walking in from behind the large body guard. I gaped at him and turned back to Hayley, questioning her with my eyes. She nodded her head with the ‘that’s him’ face, and I knew when I looked back that the man invading the cabin was none other than Jason Tambers. I glared at him and stood my ground the best I could. I heard nervous shuffling of feet behind me, and a hand interlaced fingers with mine. I looked to my side, almost not surprised to see Bryan standing there, one foot being held in the air. His beautiful face was hardened as he glared at the three men before us, a second oversized body guard having followed Jason in.

“What do you want, Tambers?” I demanded, trying to stay calm.

“Now, Liesl, you shouldn’t take that tone of voice with me, since we did work so hard on this plan…” he said with a maniacal smile. Bryan’s hand loosened in mine, and I turned to him.

“No, no Bryan, it’s not what you think,” I said, and looked to the confused faces behind us. They all stood huddled in a group at the back of the living room, looking at me like they actually were going to believe him. “You guys, he’s lying,”

“Oh? Well, I mean did you really expect them to believe that you brought them here just to hide them from their little fans? No, baby, they aren’t that stupid. Although, I must say, Hayley was definitely the brains of this operation,” he continued, flashing a smile at her. Her face fell as Ronnie stood back from her and started to look angrily between the both of us.

“First of all, don’t call me ‘baby’. Second of all, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Just leave before you embarrass yourself, Tambers,” I spat, trying not to look hurt as Bryan’s hand completely left my grasp. I looked at him and he was staring at me, looking shocked and hurt. He didn’t believe me.

“Come on, move,” the first big guy said. He shoved Bryan back by the shoulder, but his gaze never left my face. He didn’t even fight the burly minion of Jason, he just stared at me like I’d done the absolutely worst, the unthinkable of bad things. I shook my head at them all as the same guard grabbed Hayley and pushed her in my direction.

“Lee? What do we do…?” she whispered as our friends were herded into the corner of the room.

“I-I don’t know, Willy… I have no idea,” I muttered in reply, trying desperately to think of what to do.

“Liesl, I know you’ve gotten all attached to them, but it’s me you love, right?” he said, trailing his disgusting fingers up my arms. I shrugged him off of me before gritting my teeth and pleading god for a solution. I looked up as a small gasp of pain was heard and an ‘oh god, no…’ from somewhere in the group of people in the room. There, kneeling in the middle of the floor, with his legs and arms bound behind his back, was Bryan. Next to him, they were kneeling Ronnie down, and I was afraid to look over to see the look on Hayley’s face. Bryan’s face looked so pained, he looked hurt and he was grimacing from the pressure being put on his leg. I stared, unsure of what to do, when something cold and hard was placed in my hand.

“Daddy… what’th happening?” Leila’s little voice asked Craig quietly. I slowly looked down to find a black handgun, it was heavy enough to where I knew it was loaded. I shook my head furiously and looked up to the smirking Jason.

“No… You can’t expect me to…to use this?” I stuttered.

“Oh yes I can. Listen to me, baby…” he started, his hand going to the small of my back and lightly urging me forward. I tried not to throw up as I felt his heartless touch, hating every moment of this. I couldn’t take the look on Bryans face. It’s like it finally made sense to him; he thought I had always been playing games with him, with all of them. As much of a lie as that was, I knew there was nothing I could do. I now stood in front of Bryan, a black handgun in my grip and Jason Tambers at my side. I was unable to pull my eyes from Bryan as Jason told me everything. “He’s just another guy, Lee. I bet he wasn’t nice to you the whole time he was here, was he?” he asked. I lightly shook my head, and Bryan looked down, a look of shame passing over his features. “He does that with all the girls he meets. He thinks he’s protecting himself. Don’t feel special, babe, you’re not the only one he acts this way with. So why not? Tell you what. If you kill this little excuse for a life,” he continued. My grip on the gun tightened. Maybe he was right… “I will let the little girl and her daddy live. How does that sound? I mean, you’d be getting rid of just one of them, and at least it’s by someone he’s hated through and through. He never loved you, ya know. But if someone he hates kills him, it’ll be better than if it was just someone like me. Whadda ya say?” he asked.

Anger. An overpowering sense of anger washed over me. All the negative thoughts about Bryan, about the cabin, about everything hit me. Jason was right. I had to do this. If not for me, than for Craig and his little girl. I looked down at Bryan, his eyes flitting between mine in fear. I hoped to god he would understand as I let a hot tear fall down my face. I slowly touched the muzzle of the gun to his forehead, cocking it and taking a gulp.

“I need you to understand this, I really do. I hate you, Monte,” I choked out, my body shaking as I searched his eyes for understanding. And I found it. He knew, he knew I had to do this… I made one last prayer and squeezed my eyes shut, my finger poised on the trigger, and one phrase repeating in my head.

I hate you, Monte…